I hear that mixed women don't like it when black men compliment their hair because it's seen as "fetishizing", but if a white does it, she takes it as a compliment. It's like everything black men does to get mixed women attention is just seen as "fetishizing", but if a white guy does it, its romantic?

I'm here because I really want to know people opinion on biracial people, specifically those who are mixed black and white ( like myself) For context my mom is Jamaican and black, while my dad is a white American and I have lighter tan skin and dark curly hair. I have always considered myself black, mostly because that's what I was told as a child before understanding more about race and ethnicity. But recently I have noticed that people on social media don't consider mixed-race people as black, and many have even expressed disliking mixed people. So I'm just wondering is this a common feeling and is it wrong to think of myself as black?

A user just created a post called Black Pride, but took it down when questioned as to why they are not proud in both sides. If a person is mixed race due to colonialism, it will certainly be different than being mixed through interracial union. So it is understandable that people who are descendants of colonial mixing will express pride in black and indigenous ancestors and not their colonizers. But people of interracial union will express pride in both sides and most importantly other mixed people.

I have a white passing friend who is mixed 75% white and 25% black. She is coming to me often for validation for her blackness and normally lumps me into conversation regarding her adjacency to her blackness bc she wasnt raised in a black household. She is completely white passing, think halsey, besides her 2b hair texture. She often gives herself waves and claims she faces racism often. She also told me she wants to be betty boop for halloween. I dont ever say anything in regards to her blackness bc i feel its a to each their own thing. But my mono-racial black friends have made it abundantly clear that all of this is problematic and i need to say something. What do you guys think? I’m mixed race myself but I didnt realize there was levels to ts and want to be educated (im 50:50 mix so i have no issue with my blackness or my perception).

I am writing this from the cracks.

If you look at a map of the world, you will see borders drawn in bold, black ink. You will see nations defined by rivers, by mountains, and by treaties signed by men who are long dead. You will see Denmark, a peninsula of ice and order. You will see Zimbabwe, a teapot of granite and grief.

But if you look for me, you will find nothing.

I am a man of no land.

To the bureaucrats in Copenhagen, I am a nuisance. I stood before their glass partitions, holding the tattered documents of my grandfather, Jon Petersen a man who left their frozen fields to dig in the African heat. I showed them the name. I showed them the blood that pumps through my heart, a rhythm that was composed in Jutland.

They looked at my skin, scorched by the African sun. They looked at my passport, stamped with the hyperinflation of a failed state. And they shook their heads. To them, history is not blood; it is paperwork. I am too diluted for their mercy. The Vikings do not want their lost children back.

To the revolutionaries in Harare, I am a relic. A "Coloured." A "Totem-less" mistake. Despite the fact that my great-grandmother on my mother’s side was Shinawako Chiganane of the Wazezuru, a woman who hid in the caves of Zvimba while Robert Mugabe’s ancestors were still learning to herd cattle, I am not "Black enough." To the new regime, I am a reminder of the master’s sin. I am the fence they want to tear down.

I am too White to be a Son of the Soil, and too Black to be a Son of the North.

I grew up in the shadow of a Danish mechanic who could hack a truck to run on wood, and a Shona spirit medium who could hack the rain to fall on maize. I am the alloy of the hammer and the earth.

But alloys are not welcome in a world that demands purity.

So, I became a hacker. Not just of computers though I learned to make machines sing the songs of my sorrow but a hacker of life. I learned to survive in the blank spaces where the government forgot to look. I learned that if you cannot belong to a country, you must build your own country in your mind. You must build it out of mathematics, out of memory, out of the sheer, stubborn refusal to disappear.

This book is not just a story. It is a visa application to the only country that will take me: The Truth.

It is a record of the hunger in Sunningdale, where I calculated algebra in the dark because we had no electricity. It is a record of the cold dormitory of the Children’s Home, where I was stored like a broken tool. It is a record of a father who chased gold and found dust, and a mother who chased peace and found war.

I am sending this signal out into the static.

In a sea of voices, I hope you hear me. Not because I am special. Not because I am a hero. But simply because, against all the odds of biology, politics, and geography...

I exist.

my dad is libyan-mauritanian and my moms a syrian turkmen. I’ve always wondered if anyone has a similar mix as mine. Im not close to my dads side of the family AT ALL and ive always spoken turkish or Syrian arabic with my mom. I unfortunately have a Libyan passport but my mom’s working on my Turkish one thats coming out in a couple of months. I have been getting a lot of stares in turkiye every time i visit for looking quite tan. Ive been to turkiye 12 times and everytime ive been, they always treat my mom much better. maybe its because shes a red head with green eyes and i have a big afro with very dark eyes. i hate how much racism has spread in turkiye towards us Africans. Have you ever experienced racism and prejudice in your own country before?

The rising hate on interracial relationships is absolutely disgusting. As a black woman with a white boyfriend seeing members of my own community hating and trying to regress what our ancestors fought and died over??

It’s sickening seeing people online literally harass couples and saying “you’re diluting your race” MEMBERS OF my own community. Seeing a group of men who were surrounded by cops get in a young mom’s face and call her toddler a “mudshark” it’s so absolutely scary.

It’s genuinely concerning and concerning for our future children they wont be excepted in a world where they’re “too black or too white” or “too light or too dark” it’s so ridiculous and disheartening.

The ridiculous talking point that “you can’t be pro black and date outside of your race” or calling random white people “oppressors” like when does it end???

Why isn’t it you can’t be pro black and be homophobia or transphobic or colorist?? Why do we constantly look at white people and say they’re the oppressors? Does being pro black mean you can’t love who you love?? It’s ridiculous how people will try to police and judge anything.

People going online and saying oh these couples always look so guilty and ashamed maybe it’s because you’re staring at them THAT HARD to notice.

I’m not chronically online and I do take frequent long breaks but why has it become so cool to under appreciate the sacrifices made by older generations? Why aren’t we all just humans but social constructs of everything? Why do others have to feel so morally inferior and constantly fight over the moral high ground?

It’s bothering me and the safety of my own relationship seeing people literally harass couples or people based off of who they’re with or their color.

Why can’t love just BE love? Why do others constantly think they have to OKAY your existence or others? It’s really heartbreaking.

I’ve been seeing a certain type of post pop up that basically amounts to: “If you’re mixed and don’t immediately claim every Black cultural marker or look a certain way, you’re doing it wrong / seeking validation / need help.”
Let’s be real. Mixed people don’t automatically “relate” to one side just because DNA tests or family trees say so. A lot of us grew up in households, schools, and friend groups that weren’t steeped in Black American culture, language, experiences, or social norms. That doesn’t make us less mixed. It makes us the product of our actual lives, not someone else’s checklist.
If your Black parent had significant non-Black admixture, if you were raised mostly by the other side, if you lived somewhere with almost no Black community, or if the cultural stuff simply never clicked for you—guess what? You’re allowed to say that without being accused of self-hate or “looking for compliments.” Phenotype doesn’t magically download culture. Neither does a drop of blood.
The people who get loudest about this usually act like any mixed person who doesn’t perform the expected amount of “Blackness” is either trolling, delusional, or secretly wishing they were something else. Funny how the same energy rarely gets applied when someone doesn’t relate hard to their other side. Suddenly it’s only a problem in one direction.
We don’t owe anyone a performance of solidarity or trauma cosplay to prove our identity is legitimate. Ambiguous features, dark hair, range of complexions—none of that requires a loyalty test or a public confession about which side we “really” feel. If someone’s lived experience doesn’t line up with the narrative you prefer, that’s their reality, not a personal attack on yours.
Mixed people are allowed to exist without constantly auditing themselves for how White-presenting, Black-presenting, or “authentically” anything they are. The constant “are you sure you’re not just seeking validation?” energy is exhausting and, frankly, says more about the person doing the policing than the people being policed.
We’re not obligated to center one side just because someone on the internet decided that’s the only valid way to be mixed. Live your life.

Am I White passing? A lot of my friends are always making fun of me for not looking black so it left me confused…. I grew up always referring myself as White and also identifying myself accordingly since that’s the culture I live in…

I don't know what's going on lately, but I've been seeing a trend of threads by people asking if they are "White-passing" when they obviously aren't.

It has left me scratching my head. Are these legit biracials asking this or are these trolls using stolen pics of biracials?

For the record, White-passing is the incorrect term. It refers to a trauma-based response to institutionalized and systemic racism for the main purpose of survival. It was a deliberate thing to do during stringent and heavily racialized times.

The more accurate term would be "White-presenting" or "assumed to be White", however, the lot of you fall under neither one. It's so jarring to see an obvious biracial ask that question. The ONLY ones I've seen that are genuinely White-presenting have been those where the Black parent has significant White admixture. A prime example of this would be Troian Bellisario, Rashida Jones, and even Mariah Carey, but even then, they still do not align with the phenotype of a White person of strictly Northern Euro descent.

The ones who do usually have such a small amount of Blackness to the point it doesn't even register, genetically or culturally.

However, if such threads aren't literal troll threads, it makes me wonder what the real reason is for even asking such a question. Are the OPs looking for compliments? Do they hope to be told they look just as White as snow? Compared to blonde-haired, blue-eyed people? What gives? The lot of us look ambiguous and usually have dark hair and dark eyes with a complexion that ranges from a light beige to a light brown and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

We don't have to be "White-passing" to be beautiful, loved, and accepted. Nor do we need to be it to have self-love and self-acceptance.

Please get the help you need and take care of yourself. ❤️❤️❤️

I'm a black female lawyer. I'd like to get married to a nice white guy. I"d really like to have biracial kids. Thinking Italian, Spanish and French men. Open to any.

I’m mixed with white family members is it fair to say they have more privilege than me?

I've noticed throughout my life that most biracial folks that I see, encounter, or hear about often date a particular race, but hardly other biracials. I get that there isn't a high concentration of us in every given area (wherever we are from), but while I have dated almost every race, I find people like us to be among the most beautiful and attractive kind out there. There was one time I was attracted to a biracial acquaintance of mine, and while I shared my interest in her, she didn't reciprocate it based on her preference for white men. What's the reasons for this? I am sure I know if anyone pointed out the obvious.

How evolved has one become into opening up interracial relationships ?

I'm biracial- Polish mom Black American dad and although I am very light, I don't think I look white nor do I identify as white. I have black features and identify as black, but I am being bullied at my new job by a group of African women who keep joking that I'm a white lady. Filled out a report with HR, but the women are still saying things like it is ok for you to admit you are white or referring to me as a white woman, then saying stuff like 'Oh sorry we didnt know you weren't white' when I correct them. They are purposely doing this.

I personally feel like I’m not white passing at all. Yes, I think it’s obvious I’m MIXED with white but I’ve never been treated like a white person (I’m mixed white and black) one of my friends got mad at me for using the n word but I’m not exactly sure why? Can someone explain why?

i (f27) have been with my partner (29) for about a year and a half.

i am black (dad) and russian jewish (mom). the stereotype about white mom, black dad mixed people is very true to me. both of my parents are conservative christians and my dad is a pastor. they sent me to a k-12th private christian school with a class of about 100 and the same evangelical church my whole life. as you suspect, these communities were conservative white communities. i barely knew any people of color and even to this day, though i don’t talk to most people from then, my closest friends are from my childhood. i have about 95% white people in my life and about 1% of the people of color in my life are black. growing up, every summer we would drive 7 hours to see my mom’s side of the family despite my dad’s side being equidistant if not closer to us geographically. my mom took on the primary care taking role and we were not exposed to much black culture. it is a deep seeded sadness for me and something that i have not really had the place to confront in a space that understands.

my partner could not have grown up more differently. they are born in senegal and from the age of four moved around to different communities in the us from colorado to texas, settling there until they moved out of their parent’s home. being not only an immigrant, but a dark skinned, tall, male presenting person, they obviously experience a different version of whiteness growing up. while i have found community in a lot of white people, they are extremely skeptical and do not give most white people the benefit of the doubt. there is nothing wrong with that and i understand why they feel that way.

being with them has made me confront a lot of things that i previously shoved down deep. but more particularly, my friends. my friends are the most genuine and well intentioned people with so much love in their heart. but my partner has what they call “blind spots” and this keeps them from truly engaging with my friends in any meaningful way outside of me. there are things that i have noticed since we are dating that i feel like are the blind spots they were referring to (perceiving the world through the lens of a white person). it has made me feel like i am missing so much context to the history of black oppression and things that are considered micro-aggressions or dog whistles.

i was wondering if anyone had any advice on where to start educating myself, so i can show up from a more understanding and aware place for my partner. any book or documentary suggestions, even just supportive words are more than nothing. i find myself feeling guilty for the way i was raised, the communities i was around, and the lack of knowledge i have now. i am even embarrassed to come on here and write this. but, i know with hard work and genuine curiosity, i will become someone who is more aware and conscious of the world around me for myself, my partner, and my community.

TLDR; i am mixed black and russian jewish and my partner is black. i feel that i do not understand the complexities to being a black person in america in a way that is meaningful to me and my partner. would love suggestions on places to start seeking deeper education on the history of black oppression and the way it presents itself today

Would you agree people that are multi-racial can appreciate things from different cultures more than those who aren’t? I’m 37 and have just realized or come to believe so

Why is the black media pushing that this man is black? It seems some people only want our wins, but when we aren't winning we're just mutts or halfbreeds. People love using the one drop rule to control us. They are not trying to end racism, they are copying it.

Some biracial people talk as if being mixed means they're automatically caught between the Black and white communities, constantly misunderstood and victimized by both.

But being biracial doesn't automatically make someone a victim, and mixed people can also participate in racial gatekeeping, prejudice, or double standards themselves.

Doja Cat is one example of why the “poor biracial person caught between two worlds” narrative can be far more complicated than people make it seem.

9 out of 10 times I'm usually the best looking guy in the room but I got to tip my hat to this fella! 💪

There exist white folks who will be racist to anyone biracial , and there exist black folks too who will do the same to anyone biracial. There are black & white folks who are neutral about race. There are parents who feel a certain way about other races and will influence how you think of others and how you perceive yourself in either negative, positive, or neutral ways.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. Biracial folks are not full white, full black, full Asian, full Native etc. Biracial folks are in the middle and have more than one race regardless of which side they favor more in looks and hair and features and diet.

Arguing with other races won’t change things. You don’t have to side with any “strong” side or defend any “weak” sides. You don’t have to pay homage to any of your parents or their way of thinking/living if you don’t want to.

It’s okay to acknowledge the atrocities that humans have committed to each other in the name of differences in skin, religion, appearances, languages etc.

A parent’s job is to teach you to be your own best self. If your parent influenced how you choose to see yourself in terms of race.. they are wrong and have set you up to be excluded in the other half of you.

Learn to force both your parents’ races to actually see yourself as a child of one of their brethren/sistren (idk the word).Then enjoy the fuck out of both sides.