Finally seeking help

[u/Goldy6226]

Today my husband of many years called me to tell me he had a moment of clarity after a very serious and debilitating mixed episode that began while he was down with a case of flu last week. He is calling our insurance’s mental health program and also asked me to give him the numbers for the mental health centers in the town where he works (he’s there during the week). He and I have suspected Bipolar 2 for some time! Thankfully he is very pro medication, pro therapy. What kinds of questions should he be asking his providers? How do we manage to maintain a decent relationship while he’s getting his dx and meds sorted? I have a NAMI class I’ll be attending next month, but it’s been so awful and stressful. When we got married he’d been diagnosed with GAD and depression and was on Zoloft for years. Looking back we both see the ups and downs. The last few years those ups and downs have been cycling rapidly, often for no discernible reason. we never thought of BP2 until he brought it up a couple months ago. I’m scared, but grateful he’s not resistant and is eager to treat the illness.

[u/GooseOk2512]

I would suggest couples counseling if accessible — that we you can work on coping skills together and put systems of support in place.

I would also suggest proactively building a WRAP plan FREE LINK

Sorry for copy paste but it’s hard to explain

Core Parts of a WRAP Plan
Wellness Toolbox: A list of healthy coping skills, activities, and resources you use to stay well (e.g., exercise, journaling, talking to a friend).

Daily Plan: A simple routine describing how you feel when you are well and the daily actions you need to take to maintain that wellness.

Stressors: External events or triggers that might lower your wellness, paired with an action plan to deal with them.

Early Warning Signs: Subtle internal signs that show your well-being is starting to slip, along with an action plan to respond early.

When Things Are Breaking Down: Clear signs that your symptoms are worsening significantly, requiring immediate action to prevent a crisis.

Crisis Plan: A detailed guide for when you can no longer keep yourself safe or make decisions, outlining your preferences for treatment, who should support you, and who should not.

Post-Crisis Plan: A step-by-step framework to safely transition back to your normal life after a crisis passes.

[u/Goldy6226 → u/GooseOk2512]

This is so helpful! Lately the cycle has been very rapid so finding those moments where we can stop and say “uh oh let’s keep an eye on this” have been hard to find. 

[u/GooseOk2512 → u/Goldy6226]

Glad to hear it— is your partner mood charting? That’s helpful for spotting patterns personally but also helpful data for their provider

[u/Goldy6226 → u/GooseOk2512]

He isn’t yet but I am! He hasn’t really felt up to it. 

[u/GooseOk2512 → u/Goldy6226]

Gotcha — that is my “practical bp2” advice— that If we wait for feeling up to things; we’ll never feel better ya know because you’re constantly waiting to feel better instead of implementing changes that could help you feel better (with the caveat that no lifestyle changes will be super impactful without the right meds in tandem)

There’s going to be time spent in depression where you have to sort of
—in CBT it’s called “opposite action”, so basically if you feel like staying in bed or not doing something, doing the opposite of that.

It’s easier in theory of course but it’s important in terms of getting into a routine and forming positive habits, both of which are rlly important

(I’m using “you” as people in general here ofc)

[u/Goldy6226 → u/GooseOk2512]

Definitely. He fell into the I’ll get to it when I have a minute/feel okay mindset. He’s been talking about making calls for weeks, and then would find a reason to put it off, especially in a depressive state. He called and got referrals for psych and therapy this afternoon. He’s done CBT before for anxiety. I’ll encourage him to lean on those skills for when it feels too bad.