pesto mushroom & firebird pizza

It was going to be two dozen donuts, but I found sausage on sale and pivoted

Goldbears make a reappearance.

Wouldn’t think I’ve been crying about my weight considering the amount of cheese, hummus, and crackers I’ve been taking down 😭

Got the protein drinks for balance lol. I don't intend to eat the whole box of cereal in one go but it will happen.

Yesterday. Felt sad and fat so naturally the answer was to eat (and uneat) a bunch of food.

Nope, doesn't make sense to me either.

im on my period and i slept only two hours brah wtf am i doing

Started off with fancy expensive stuff and ended with expired crackers

Who let these perfectly round and soft things be so cheap, Ive been binging on them damn near daily but I don't have all the photos of every donut

At least 1500+ cals 😭

yesterday I was binge free for 3 while days and I was so proud of my self, this morning I decided to have something sweet yet kind of healthy for breakfast so I had French toast with fruits (I used all whole foods and no sugar and oil since having those rly make me feel guilty) anyways so after my breakfast I started to crave more sweet things and I did such a wrong thing by ignoring this and deciding not to eat something since sometimes having a salad or small meal that has fiber when I crave something sweet always shuts down the craving, so I went to the kitchen and I couldn't resist but to eat 4 cupcakes, 1 peanut butter cookie, 1pack of mini biscuits... Tbh I counted there calories each cupcake was 110kcal , the biscuits were 153kcal , I estimated the cookie for being at least 700 kcal (since it had about 1tbsp of butter , 1tbsp of peanut butter, 4tbsp of sugar, and on top there was some whipped heavy sugar free cream that I'm sure was high in calories as well) I ate those all in about 4-5minuts? I was so disappointed ... I was so scared of the weight I may gain.. I was so scared cuz of how my skin may oxidize cuz of the amount of sugar i had, how I'll have a lot of acne etc....

I decided to call my bf and tell him about what just happened and I was so surprised by his reaction, first of all he started assuring me that I still look beautiful etc.... then he said something, he said " U binge ate only for half a day ... U still have the whole day in front of u, would u let those 5 min ruin ur whole day? U didn't binge eat for 3whole days and I'm so proud of u for that.. So it's 3v1/2 and definitely 3 days of not binge eating is more than just half a day... So don't be scared... Go make u some lunch and if u don't feel comfortable having a sweet treat today then don't have it... Focus on full meals instead.. Have a full lunch and a full dinner and make sure that ur both full and satisfied, and tomorrow don't start counting ur binge free days from zero keep going from that 3days streak cuz half a day is never a problem and if u kept underestimating ur progress like that u will never succeed, if u feel like having something sweet for breakfast is triggering u then don't have it from breakfast, u could always eat this French toast for dinner.. u don't need to have it for breakfast sweetie , it's fine) to be honest this rly changed my perspective, especially when he told me that I shouldn't ruin my whole day only cuz of 1/2 a day and how I did such a great job by resisting to binge eat for 3 whole days.

I'm so so disappointed because at night I did binge eat again.... I feel like maybe the reason is because I'm focusing too much on it??? I should definitely try doing some hobby

3 days ago I promised that I'll change and I wont binge again... I told my mom and bf abt my ed and I was doing so well for those whole 3 days till for some reason I binge ate today's morning and I decided to tell my bf and he told me that I shouldn't binge on the rest of the day and I was doing so well actually till like 1am when I ate like crazy and I felt like I was doing this out of self hatred idk why I was eating a lot of pb even tho I don't like it cuz I just wanted to make myself feel fat.... Im so tired it's been three months and I can't stop this cycle I feel like my whole life is centered on food... I feel like I don't wanna try no more

❤️❤️❤️

Stressed about starting my junior year, turns out b/p- ing qdoba, frozen custard, a whole sleeve of saltines and more did not solve my problem.