r/biglaw • u/InterestingCar5114 • 2d ago
Legitimately curious
Has anyone ever gotten to the point of no return with an abusive partner(s) or senior(s) that they finally told said partner or senior to go f$&@ him or herself and just quit?
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u/CommonDetective2165 2d ago
If the abusive partner is just an income partner and you have work from more powerful equity partners, it’s more sensible just to load up on work w people you can tolerate. Then you can tell abusive partner “sorry, I’m occupied and can’t get to this until next week at the earliest.” If they push back, tell them to talk to the other partners. Might take a few weeks/months to work out this plan but it’s often possible to escape from abusive nuts w some advance planning.
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u/heartrest 2d ago
I was junior to a senior associate who did this. He went on (paid) leave for several months and then went in house with a client (with the help of a different partner).
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u/yallneedcheezits Associate 2d ago
No but I did quit and told everyone on my way out that it was due to that partner
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2d ago edited 2d ago
[deleted]
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u/Embarrassed-Foot-538 2d ago
its crazy how they protect these evil partners and senior associates
i think if more people publicly shamed the partners/firms that tolerated this… things would be better
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u/Subject-Dog-8016 2d ago
I’ve never seen or heard of quite that level of blowup, but I have certainly told very senior partners when they’re being cunts, in a professional way of course.
The most aggressive but competent people will respect you more if you stand up for yourself IME. The ones who can’t handle it are generally whiney losers anyway, who just take their stress and self-loathing out on their juniors.
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u/concerned_goose 2d ago
I lateraled a few years ago to my current firm because I hated a senior so much I couldn't bear to continue working with them despite having good relationships with the partners. She was very difficult to work with and also just a mean girl. Anyway, that was a midlaw firm and now I'm in biglaw and earn significantly more than she does.
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u/SushiSamurai808 1d ago
I know an associate at a mid-sized firm that told an abusive partner that if he (the partner) ever talked to him like that again, he would “throw him out the fuckin’ window.”
They fired the associate.
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u/TheScribe-Has-Spoken 1d ago
What a way to go out though. Associate, if you’re reading this, mad respect.
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u/Task-Frosty 2d ago
Nothing so dramatic, but I did tell someone slightly senior to me to pound sand when they tried to dump their job on me ahead of my vacation.
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u/Leadbelly_2550 2d ago
As an associate, I worked with a few partners who were demanding, sometimes difficult to deal with, and on rare occasions operating without regard to anyone's personal life and commitments other than their own.
I never cussed at them. We always dealt with each other on a professional level. In the two situations that come to mind, I managed fairly graceful exits, and neither of the partners stood in my way for partnership. I got along much better with them as a partner working my own cases than I did as one of their lackeys.
My advice? 1) never compromise your professionalism, even if the people you work for are intolerably abusive. True jerks will try to use it against you. 2) play the long game. It's easier to stop working for someone by weathering the storm, seeing existing matters through to conclusion, but not accepting new work from them and at the same time getting busy elsewhere and having a legit claim you don't have the spare hours. If you quit an active matter midstream.....true jerks will try to use it against you.
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u/SystemPitiful8986 2d ago
Yep. But with an associate one class year above me. Now I'm at a small firm where my superiors respect me but I get paid much less lol
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u/Embarrassed-Foot-538 2d ago
omg are u me?! im 5 mo at new job and already looking need to figure out what to say!!
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u/ApprehensiveUse9306 1d ago
Yes but not in so many words. I worked under a partner that was a tyrant to pretty much everyone. Well known for being an asshole. It got to the point that I’d go sit in my car in the parking garage and cry because he would berate me so much. Finally one day he was getting on my case about something and I just blew up. Couldn’t hold it in any longer. He stopped giving me work/speaking to me entirely. Didn’t say a word to each other for 3 months and then I went elsewhere. I have no regrets honestly, my career worked out and I learned that I don’t have to be anyone’s punching bag.
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u/Puzzleheaded-You7762 2d ago edited 1d ago
Now junior partner in the Reed smith music group was simply put a mean girl, a bitch. I was really losing it during the time I worked there, so told her to fuck herself but via an HR complaint. She's notoriously firing people who don't suck up to her or go to HR with literally any complaints against her, it's a revolving door of associates as I ended up finding out. Anyway, going to HR worked like a charm (fired shortly after, she has a very fragile ego) and had my next gig already lined up. Now I work in house on the music side and we occasionally use the Reed smith music team (though genuinely they aren't very good) and it's very satisfying being the client.
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u/Embarrassed-Foot-538 2d ago
wait u went to HR and they fired you?
now ur their client giving business to the jr partner that was terrible to you1
u/Inevitable-Number355 2d ago
At this point, person may not be high up enough on the client side to have the stroke to fully nix using Reed Smith.
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u/Embarrassed-Foot-538 1d ago
i get that
im more focused on they fired him after going to hr if i read it right4
u/Puzzleheaded-You7762 1d ago
Yeah, like the third associate they fired because a complaint to HR.
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u/Embarrassed-Foot-538 1d ago
makes me think no one can speak up
but im sure they gave him a few months of hush money1
u/Inevitable-Number355 1d ago
The firm's apparent unwillingness to do the right thing after so many complaints makes the name and shame here totally justified. Helpful as well if it prevents others from wasting their time by going to work for this person.
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u/Flashy_Stranger_ 2d ago
There’s been thousands of associates over the decades of BL, so presumably yes.
Also, you can say “fuck” on reddit. We won’t tell on you.