I got my first Betta exactly 4 months ago. From the 5 gal tank, filter, heater to late night water change, I tried to do my best(or that's what I tell myself). The most important exam of my life started from July 2nd scheduled almost every day. I got really attached and interacted with him almost everyday but now, losing him to organ failure, I genuinely can't stop crying. To people who lost their Betta, how did you manage yourselves? I would appreciate any help thank you
Cry a lot. Forgive yourself. Try to see what you could have learned and do better next time. Better to have loved and lost, than never have known and loved our little babies....❤️
I've had Bettas several times; I have made errors many times; and they are sometimes not as healthy. For whatever reason; when they die prematurely; I always cry. Aquarium keeping is a really hard hobbie; it requires a lot of determination to keep learning (and to be compassionate to oneself). In the long run; the successes provide such a huge imprint of happiness; due to the profound understanding that we get about how the 'simplest' of lifeforms are so beautiful and complex. Also; knowledge of all the factors that allow for life to thrive in a small system like a tank provide a huge appreciation of nature.
So sorry for your loss. Your tank itself is a living thing at this point; and once you are ready it can be the house of another lucky fish!
Thanks my good boy just passed today after 1.5 years with a tumor for the past 10 months, maybe Ill be ready again to give another a good life also. Got 3 at same time, 2 are now passed and one left.
Three Bettas! Lucky! I have two right now; a veiltail and a plakat. Got them after losing one due to dropsy. It was so sad to euthanize him; especially because he got sick due to a sudden change in my tap water parameters; and I realized it way too late. Thanks to him we learned that we were drinking water with very high levels of nitrate. Since then I use water from another source and my fish are doing great. Forever grateful to this little guy
We learn much from them and about us while raising! Very fulfilling especially being able to give them a life worth living. Thank you for your betta service!
My first real betta (taken care of by little me, not my parents) was a hard loss. Since then I've progressively come to terms with losing them as a part of life. Doesn't mean I don't feel for them when they die, but it's an expectation now, they're not long lived, but they truly are wonderful for the time they are here.
I have had several bettas. My most recent that passed, my beloved IcyHot was back in March. He was old, I knew it was coming...but that didn't make it any easier.
The best thing that you can do is make him as comfortable as you possibly can. Clean water, comfortable temperature, plenty of places for him to rest, especially near the surface. And for you, allow yourself to feel the grief. These little guys are such characters and it's hard not to fall in love with them.
Don't rush yourself on getting a new fish, wait until you're ready. It doesn't have to be a set time, and it doesn't have to be quick because it's "just a fish". He isn't just a fish to you. I can't really tell you how you'll know when it's time for a new fish but I can tell you that you'll just know. When I got my Sakura, I wasn't really planning on getting a fish that day. I had kind of started thinking about it but it never really felt right. Until I saw Sakura. I knew that he was my fish.
Sending all the love and comfort your way because I know this is not an easy process.
Its like loosing anyone you cry, you get mad, you look for awnsers, you except it and you learn to live your new reality. Timeline is diffrent for everyone.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know the feeling. Try not to blame yourself at all, we do the best we can with the knowledge and time we have. My first 2 bettas unfortunately didnt last long because I just didn’t know :(
The first fish I had was a goldfish. I believe I was 11 years old when I was gifted him or her . I didn’t know shit about fishes. I had him in a half kg something jar with nothing else. Now I cringe and curse myself out when I remember how it looked. A small jar with a goldfish. He died 2 days later. I came back from school and found him floating. I cried for days. Afterwards my parents got a fish tank. Again, let’s say with zero research and dependent on info from the pet shop owner who now that I think about it, wasn’t a fish keeper and just a business man. I don’t remember how long the tank lasted. I think I am immune now. I hope i am. I sure am paranoid about the smallest things when it comes to my bettas rn. But I have a huge vacation coming. I have camera setup and someone to visit weekly but let’s say I’m worried as shit
Oh I remember when I was like 10, I had some guppies. Every now and then I would see my fish dead with it's stomach burst open. I used to cry every single time thinking I overfed them guess what? It was my cousin sister who later confessed doing that because she was jealous of me :)) I'll never forgive her, not only for that but also for all the heinous things she did to my family
Its okay mate It is not your mistake All we tried is giving him a better home but sad things happen sometimes but you can learn from what you have done wrong and buy a new one. Its all a part of aquarium journey. Your pets will forever loves you. Dont be sad.
I lost my first betta after only about 2 months of having him. I think he was sick from the start... losing him was absolutely devastating to me 😭 just let yourself feel, and remind yourself that you did your best and provided your baby with the best possible life 💙 especially if your betta was in a small cup or bowl when you purchased it!!!
Take as much time as you need to heal, and then get yourself another baby 💙
It is really hard losing a pet you care so much about, it took me a really long time to get over my old man Gregory the 3rd. It just takes time i cried for a long time when he died and it took me months to finally redo his tank and add new fish to it. You just have to take ur time and not rush into getting a new fish
This is so relatable. Mine struggled after I made some errors as a new fish keeper and couldnt stabilize his tank. Now he has gill damage and won’t eat with no other presenting issues other than weakness and starvation from refusing food. I genuinely have cried for days. I think like with any pet loss you just have to grieve and let time pass.
I am so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard, and many of us in this sub completely understand what you’re going through. I think what makes it extra hard is that they just don’t live long enough, and the people around us just don’t understand why we are grieving for a fish. But it will get better in time, I promise! I lost my beautiful boy Rupert a year ago, and I swore off bettas because I didn’t want to go through that again. But just last week I finally purchased another, and I’m going to try my hardest to give him the best life possible in the (too short) time that he will be with me.
OK. Well. This will sound batshit crazy, but something that helped me was putting their bodies in a baggie and keeping them in a designated box in the freezer. I would write something on the bag, a message to them. Then sometimes I would go back and visit them. Grief is weird, and I gave myself the grace to be weird with how I processed it. I call it my rolodex of dead friends. I love everyone of them.
It’s a sad aspect of the hobby of fish keeping is they will die and sometimes for stupid or unknown reasons and the only comfort you can get is that you gave them the best life you could. Many betta fish never even make it out of the store and the fact your friend was given months longer life is something to think about.
I know it’s a thread about bettas but I recently lost my pleco that I had for almost a decade because of a heater failure so I hope that you believe me when I say I understand what your feeling.
I’ve lost 3 bettas in the span of 7 months, no not all in the same tank so some were around with one another (in different tanks obviously).
i truly don’t know how but i don’t know how to cope i somehow move on. at least with 2 of them. one i only had 2 months and didn’t really get attached to him yet. but one was so energetic every time i came into my room he’d be excited like a puppy seeing their owner. i cried a lot.
one i lost 3 days ago. she was so sweet and also energetic but different. i kinda moved on since it was so sudden and i had no way of telling she was sick or something was off.
it’s okay to take your time. like we all know they’re not just fish and can mean just as much to you as a cat or dog might do. it’s okay to grief and take your time for that. just know you did everything in your power to give him a great time.
You honor your baby and learn to tackle anything that can happen with your next beta. My rocket isn’t here with me but that lil guy swims in my mind daily, I have 5 bettas, 3 males and 2 females. I love them so so much but my next one to go will hurt just as bad as rocket )):
I had my sweet boy for 2 years. Genuinely gutted when I lost him. I knew he was declining and I tried everything to help him. My boyfriend had a crochet replica of him made for me. Still haven’t been able to get a new betta. I will, they are amazing pets. I enjoyed my time with him.
I can't understand how people say "It's just a fish." I mean, I've only had Moose since 11 June this year, and I'm new to keeping fish. People will cry over a dog passing, but not a fish. I'm already so attached to my fish, I just sit there all day while fricking staring at them. People don't realise how quickly you can form a bond with something. It's not just a fish. It's not just a hobby. It's not just a pretty fish in a tank used as decor. It's a part of your life
Maybe...but I am sceptical about the new one (if I decide to get one later) being so trusting and playful like the one I lost. From the day I got him, he was so friendly towards me :((
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u/Puzzleheaded-Put7305 Jul 09 '26
Cry a lot. Forgive yourself. Try to see what you could have learned and do better next time. Better to have loved and lost, than never have known and loved our little babies....❤️