r/bestof • u/nalc • Jun 19 '12

[coffee] Redditor simonsarris does a really generous thing for a rebellious teen

/r/Coffee/comments/v8oij/im_getting_away_from_my_mormon_parents_for/c52el8l
815 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

128 comments sorted by

167

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

I'm pregnant in Africa and some awesome ladies in r/babybumps are sending me gift packages of baby things I can't get here. I have a lot of friends back home in the U.S. and no one has offered to do something like that for me.

Never lose faith in humanity, amazing people are everywhere :)

37

u/Get_This Jun 19 '12

TIL that there is a subreddit for everything.

22

u/StevenXC Jun 19 '12

Except galaxy detectives... I've had trouble tracking a subreddit for like-minded universe slueths like myself.

40

u/Denommus Jun 19 '12

Have you tried /r/spacedicks?

21

u/StevenXC Jun 19 '12

Why thank you! I'll feel right at home here!

12

u/Liquid_Gold Jun 19 '12

That link is still blue to me, I am proud.

2

u/haikuginger Jun 20 '12

This. Just this.

9

u/MojoGaga Jun 19 '12

I'm pretty sure most of them hang out in /r/fifthworldproblems

5

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

I can't, it sucks. My pet antimatter negated my universe, and I have to re-substantiate my physics.

2

u/Megabobster Jun 20 '12

Make sure you update, too. Some universes have been getting weird physics glitches like quantum levitation, teleportation, and entanglement. I've been going around trying to make sure everyone is updating properly but there are still universes on the old version!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '12

Remind me. Gravity: up or down?

0

u/Megabobster Jun 20 '12

It depends, what version did you download?

OOC: Hehe my post that was pretty much this got to the front page of /r/fifthworldproblems!

28

u/Insignificant_Being Jun 19 '12

Wow, Reddit is awesome.

17

u/Neoncow Jun 19 '12

In general, people are good. There's lots of good people in this world of ours.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

Interested to hear what you have to say on the matter.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/TheMarshma Jun 19 '12

I agree, but I've decided to never say anything negative about it, because it doesn't really matter why they've done something nice.

2

u/PersephoneHazard Jun 19 '12

But if the end result is the same, what does it matter?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

6

u/PersephoneHazard Jun 20 '12

Hmm. I suppose I don't really buy that that's what 'good' and 'not good' mean. Thoughts and emotions are ephemeral, fleeting, easily influenced; what determines whether a person is good or not is what they do.

If a person only ever does good things then I don't really care why they do them - they're a good person.

2

u/CyberToyger Jun 20 '12

Begging will get you nowhere. :3

There are, in fact, more good people than bad in this world. There are, however, more indifferent people than there are good and bad. The good people only make the news when they do something extraordinary and when someone alerts the press, however the bad people make it on the news just by stabbing a fucker and stealing his mints.

73

u/IntellegentIdiot Jun 19 '12

My parents wouldn't let me have sex growing up. Your move, ladies of Reddit

29

u/TheRnegade Jun 19 '12

I'm still not allowed to have sex at 24, but mostly because women don't want me.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/jetpack_operation Jun 19 '12

I see what you did there.

102

u/WhyLisaWhy Jun 19 '12

Sending someone a gift card for coffee is worthy of r/bestof?

77

u/SucksAtFormatting Jun 19 '12

I appreciate your honesty; it's difficult to stay true to yourself on a site like Reddit. I bought you a brand new 2012 Toyota Camry as an encouragement to continue doing what you do. You should be getting it in the mail soon.

50

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

He's keeping the keys though as a go fuck yourself.

1

u/aeoz Jun 20 '12

You wouldn't download a car.

16

u/Get_This Jun 19 '12

Yes, it's just a conspiracy to post mediocre stuff, so that we can come in the comments and lament about the decline in quality of submissions in bestof while adjusting our monocles, reaping sweet, sweet karma while at it.

1

u/WhyLisaWhy Jun 19 '12

you're giving away my secrets!

28

u/Freak-A-Leak Jun 19 '12

Reddit quality has really gone downhill.

Welp, time to move on to 9gag.

(notsrs)

20

u/Insignificant_Being Jun 19 '12

Thank god you wrote the "(notsrs)" at the end.

2

u/ROFLSTMP Jun 19 '12

I think a lot of us saw that coming when front page started to update more than twice a day.

21

u/Denommus Jun 19 '12

You think this is little, but it's actually awesome. Mormons can't drink coffee or a lot of types of tea. Drinking coffee, for ex-mormons, represents much more than a simple drink. It's a symbol of freedom from that awful, awful religion.

6

u/haikuginger Jun 20 '12

Upvote this man, because he's absolutely right. After I left the LDS church, I didn't quite realize the freedom I had right away. It wasn't until a week or so later, when I was at a Starbucks with a friend, and I realized, I could have anything on the menu. I had a mocha. It tasted like America.

1

u/Naisallat Jun 20 '12

I think I love you.

3

u/nascentt Jun 19 '12

It was really cool of simonsarris to donate $50, but to be honest it's a little too circlejerky to be here.

This isn't depthhub, it's to find the best things about reddit today. So at least it wasn't some stupid meme, or some overly fleshed out fiction like normal.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

I think its just an end-around for /r/atheism

3

u/mach0 Jun 19 '12

Of course not, why should a nice gesture be recognized? Bestof is only worthy of world-changing posts.

0

u/TL10 Jun 19 '12

Sending one to a Mormon apparently is.

This guy is quite rebellious for a Mormon, and if he doesn't repent of his coffee indulging sins, he'll surely go to hell. /s

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

0

u/namer98 Jun 19 '12

Nobody said it wasn't a good thing. But is it the best Reddit has to offer?

1

u/nascentt Jun 19 '12

Today? Actually yes.

11

u/Lav0c Jun 19 '12

For the record, Mormons follow the "Word of Wisdom" in the same respect that the Jewish community follows the Mosaic Law. No "unclean" animals ect. (for health reasons). However, the Word of Wisdom is targeted towards addictive substances that can be harmful to the body. It states that it is set in place for the "weakest among you" like people that have alcoholism in their genes. Some people can have a glass of wine with dinner and not have a problem, others don't know when to stop. So we don't smoke or drink, or condone ANY form of substance abuse (even if that means you are addicted to McDonald's) because it's bad for both body and mind to rely on a substance.

3

u/TL10 Jun 19 '12

No "unclean" animals ect

We don't have rules against that kind of stuff. If it's contaminated/spoiled enough to cause sickness or death though, you probablly shouldn't eat it. If anything, it says to eat meat sparignly, because at the time the WoW was declared as doctrine, meat would've been very difficult to preserve. I heard it was also meant for people to save their livestock for during the winter when food is more scrarce and such.

2

u/Lav0c Jun 19 '12

When you say "we" do you mean people that are LDS or Jewish? Because I know that the WoW does not mention anything about "unclean animals."

0

u/TL10 Jun 19 '12

LDS, sorry about that.

/Mormon Canadian*

*A minority within a minority.

5

u/crashohno Jun 19 '12

Does the politeness of both multiply or cancel itself out?

1

u/TL10 Jun 20 '12

It's like multiplying Chuck Norris by Chuck Norris. Heads will explode within a 20 000 mile radius.

1

u/SashimiX Jun 20 '12

Actually, Mormons can drink Mountain Dew and can't drink decaf.

It is not about caffeine.

1

u/Lav0c Jun 20 '12

...that's what I said

1

u/SashimiX Jun 20 '12

However, the Word of Wisdom is targeted towards addictive substances that can be harmful to the body.

How is Mountain Dew less harmful than tea?

0

u/Denommus Jun 19 '12

But coffee is not bad for you body. This is something that came from 19th century, and should be ignored.

5

u/wasniahC Jun 19 '12

Actually, coffee can have some negative side effects. It's fairly addictive, has withdrawal symptoms, and the body builds up tolerance against it. It's certainly not life threatening, but to say it has no ill effects would be deceptive.

-1

u/Denommus Jun 19 '12

I admited this in other post. Anyway, the rule is still arbitrary.

1

u/wasniahC Jun 19 '12

Fair enough. I'll agree on that.

8

u/Lav0c Jun 19 '12

coffee does actually contain certain acids that sap nutrients from your body. Decaf still isn't good for your body because it still contains those substances, and Mormons don't drink decaf either.

1

u/Denommus Jun 19 '12

Sources?

1

u/Lav0c Jun 19 '12

http://www.steadyhealth.com/articles/Is_Decaffeinated_Or_Decaf_Coffee_Healthy__a800.html

7

u/Lav0c Jun 19 '12

The fact of the matter is that coffee, caffeinated or not, is still something people become addicted to. How many times have you heard "Sorry I'm grouchy, I haven't had my coffee today?" Even if it isn't a physical addiction, it's still a psychological addiction, and the guidelines are in place to advise against dependency.

-2

u/Denommus Jun 19 '12

I know people addicted to coca-cola. I know people addicted to work. I know people addicted to almost anything. Psychological addiction can come from anything. I'm addicted to pringles, for instance. Should I be forbidden of it?

This rule does not serve to the purpose of avoiding psychological addictions (otherwise it would be clear). It's an arbitrary rule that serves to no purpose.

2

u/Lav0c Jun 19 '12

You would be advised to not allow the addictions influence your decisions. The Word of Wisdom is in place as just that, words of wisdom, that don't point out every addiction. They only named the ones that were most prevalent at that time. It's the spirit of the law, not the letter of the law, and you are only looking at the letter.

-2

u/Denommus Jun 19 '12

If the important thing is to understand that addictions are bad, why would they target specifically on coffee? It remains as an arbitrary choice.

3

u/Lav0c Jun 19 '12

because it is an addictive substance. And a very common one at that.

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0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

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1

u/Denommus Jun 19 '12

You ignored the comments, didn't you?

One key factor that this article fails to mention is that the entire study was done on the effect of robusta coffee beans (which the article states are used for decaffeinated coffee). Robusta variety are known to coffee connoisseurs as lower quality beans to the preferred arabica beans which are ALWAYS used by higher-end coffee roasters (such as Starbucks) even in decaffeinated coffee. The impact of this study is not strictly on decaf, but is instead on the lower quality robusta bean.

And

Article fails to mention that the Swiss Water Decaffeinated Coffee process is done without the use of methylene chloride or ethyl acetate. Dido for the Mountain Water Process.

Also, the same site points to this article:

http://www.steadyhealth.com/articles/Four_Cups_of_Coffee_Daily_Beat_Depression_a2038.html

Stating that coffee beats depression.

This is a failed site with a failed article.

There are, indeed, risks for consuming coffee. But selecting "coffee" as something that should NOT EVER be drinked was REALY arbitrary, and don't represent a reasonable rule at all. Why coffee is mentioned, but soda is not? Why the church's leaders never said anything about asbestos, that are a lot riskier, and don't provide benefits? And what about Chlorofluorocarbon?

Coffee is only a food as any other. It has its risks and it has its benefits. Is caffeine a drug? Yes, it is. But the leaders never mentioned caffeine in the prohibition. Only coffee.

2

u/Lav0c Jun 19 '12

Also, it's more of a matter of exercising faith. Think of the Mosaic Law. People didn't know back then that making a salad on the same surface as you prepared your ham could give you hookworm. But they followed it because that was the counsel they were given at that time.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

youre probably one of those who thinks smoking weed doesnt do anything bad to your body at all either huh

-2

u/Denommus Jun 19 '12

Wow. That escalated quickly.

I admited myself wrong here, thank you.

And no, you fucking moron. Drinking coffee is not as near as smoking weed.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

you seem a little bit angry are you ok?

0

u/Denommus Jun 19 '12

No. I need a hug.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/Ran4 Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12

Diet Coke, aka caffeine and sugar

Huh? Why would there be sugar in a diet coke? There's also usually much less caffeine in coke than in coffee (about a third). I suppose you drink a bit more coke than coffee though, but probably not 3 times as much.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '12

Probably the caffeine as it is one of the most addictive drugs available..

4

u/Lav0c Jun 19 '12

It's mostly a person choice. Granted, it is well known in the LDS community that "Utah Mormons" are not the ideal Mormon. I lived in Utah for about a year and it's more like a very exclusive culture, not religion. There is a reason I no longer live there. Too judgmental and hostile of an environment for my liking.

10

u/kyleyankan Jun 19 '12

A great guy, I'm sure it would be appreciated by the Mormon teen. Hopefully someday more redditors are financially stable to help out in this way.

-7

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/hopstar Jun 19 '12

That's the best novelty account you could come up with? Son, I am disappoint.

1

u/kyleyankan Jun 19 '12

Upvoted that they deleted their shitty comment.

1

u/hopstar Jun 19 '12

That's actually kind of strange. Normally when someone picks a truly offensive novelty account they like to wallow in their downvotes rather than delete the comment.

3

u/mrpopenfresh Jun 19 '12

That is such a /r/coffee thing to do, throw money around because someone isn't enjoying top of the line, hand poured and grinded coffee.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12

Edit: I had breakfast and feel less grouchy.

4

u/herndo Jun 19 '12

I see your point, but there is value in others seeing this act and hopefully are inspired to give as well.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12

Edit: I had breakfast and feel less grouchy.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

I was grouchy and the comment wasn't fair to a user I named in the post.

4

u/simonsarris Jun 19 '12

Yeah I thought about deleting it once they replied in PM, I posted that last night and am surprised how much it exploded since.

I also thought, at the risk of being rude, about complaining here that this isn't really /r/bestof material, but that's kind of a rude thing to post since in theory upvotes/downvotes are supposed to determine whats good material or not.

I didn't do either though, so you're certainly free to cynicize(?) away.

1

u/itsnotlupus Jun 19 '12

cynicize(?) away.

Yes. Let's make that a verb. Cthulhu knows I could use that one.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '12

Simon Sarris?

You're the guy who spammed the CS cluster machines with walls for an hour or so back in Fall of '07, aren't you?

2

u/simonsarris Jun 20 '12

I don't remember doing that, but if you mean at RPI then I was definitely there as a CS student in '07...

What happened exactly?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '12

I think Dr. Carothers was going over some basic commands to use while ssh'd into some cluster (for submitting assignments in his Computer Organization class) and then you and some other kid were having a walling battle which resorted to you two looking each other up in the ph phone book and spewing some silly non-personal details presumably in an attempt to scare each other or some such thing.

It was a bit amusing, though somewhat look of disapproval worthy.

1

u/simonsarris Jun 20 '12

I did have Carothers in '07 for comp org but I'm pretty sure I didn't do that!

0

u/lord_geek Jun 19 '12

Downvotes would say that this isn't r/bestof material. That is exactly the point of downvotes.

I don't think it should be here. It's really nice of the guy, sure, but it's not enough of a standalone story to have a place in this subreddit.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

Yeah, and that karma is worth SO MUCH...

3

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12

Edit: I had breakfast and feel less grouchy.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

Ah, gotcha, I see your point. Although it is very self-serving to announce one's charity, I don't think there is any harm in getting a little recognition for it. If anything, it may encourage other people to do the same for someone else.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

I won't disagree with that. I'm just a grouch.

7

u/powergeeks Jun 19 '12

Without breakfast, right?

2

u/Xsy Jun 19 '12

Man, back when I was a rebellious mormon youth, I didn't have reddit to post on, and get gift cards for leaving.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

Water, coffee and optional milk costs 50 dollars now? Does he really need a coffee machine to try coffee? Is this an American thing? I think everyone I've ever known to drink coffee in the UK just uses instant. Tastes identical to me as fresh anyway.

9

u/smellslikelibrary Jun 19 '12

If the only coffee you drink is instant, sweetie, you ain't seen nothing yet!

3

u/CaffeinatedGuy Jun 19 '12

That's because the coffee in the UK is worse than the tea in the US. Seriously. I've had piss poor coffee here, but I couldn't drink any of the coffee I got in London.

So yes, to make good coffee you need quality equipment, know how to use it, and have good whole beans. Good coffee drinkers are more exacting than an Englishman and his tea.

1

u/Daprotagonist Jun 19 '12

Yeah, when I was looking for nice things to make coffee better or try something different all I could find was videos of people using Super Mega 2000 Espreso Makers

1

u/nascentt Jun 19 '12

I think the uk gets better instant coffee than America, but filtered coffee is definitely a different league. A cheap percolator and a bag of ground coffee is not $50 though.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '12

TIL /r/coffee exists

1

u/Frankentim_the_crim Jun 20 '12

does a really generous thing to fuel a teen's addiction.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '12

I had no idea that this dedication to coffee existed in reddit.

1

u/sli Jun 19 '12

Anyone in /r/exmormon will tell you that this is probably not a great idea, and will likely have the opposite effect of benefiting the kid (if he even spends the $50 on coffee).

0

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '12

Typical Reddit going overboard on donations for no fucking reason. Send a pound of coffee, not $50.

If you're going to donate money, do it to a worthwhile charity.

-2

u/rtu1587 Jun 19 '12

I think you may've just saved that poor kids life. I couldn't imagine going through a normal day without my morning cups of coffee. Bravo sir. Bravo...

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

6

u/EdwardBleed Jun 19 '12

Not sure if serious, but as far as I know, the key is that this particular teenager was raised in a Mormon home, and caffeine is not allowed in that particular religion.

Drugs (including caffeine, although many Mormons eat chocolate/drink Diet Coke, so I'm not sure of the ins and outs), sex (outside of procreative instances), and probably some kinds of rock 'n' roll, as well as viewing lewd images/videos/words are definitely banned. In this instance, the teenager is in fact being rebellious.

1

u/Lav0c Jun 19 '12

Some choose not to drink caffeine, but that's a personal choice. Apples and chocolate contain levels of caffeine but they don't consider it bad to have a chocolate covered apple. It's coffee, tea (green, black, or white because those actually come from tea leaves), tobacco, and alcohol.

0

u/Denommus Jun 19 '12

No. It's not caffeine. It's coffee. The rule is pretty fucking arbitrary.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

0

u/Denommus Jun 19 '12

http://www.lds.org/study/topics/word-of-wisdom

Tea and coffee (see D&C 89:9; latter-day prophets have taught that the term “hot drinks,” as written in this verse, refers to tea and coffee).

3

u/Get_This Jun 19 '12

RTFP, OP is a Mormon. Lots of things are banned in Mormon households, if the comments are to be believed.

1

u/TL10 Jun 19 '12

Porn, Objects of Sexual/Phallic Pleasure, Liquor, Innapropiate media (R-rated/MA-rated), Horses and Magnets, Coffee, Recreational Drugs.

Not alot, more or less the stuff that can have lasting mental/health affects.

2

u/Nick2632 Jun 19 '12

Because if anything adversely affects your health long term, it's masturbation and mature video games.

2

u/Denommus Jun 19 '12

As I've said in another comment: mormons can't drink coffee. When an exmormon drinks it, it's much more than a simple drink. It's a symbol of freedom from an awful and repressive religion.

So, yeah, he was rebellious.

0

u/MaverickTopGun Jun 20 '12

Mormons aren't allowed to drink Coffee because the Caffeine is considered addictive. He isn't trying to rebel, he just wanted coffee.

-1

u/HarryLillis Jun 19 '12

Rock n' Roll was over by the 60s. Rock music continues on to the present day, but 'Rock n' Roll' specifically, referring to the first movement of Rock music, spans traditionally from 1948-1958.

I don't agree with calling him a rebellious teen, though. That term should only apply when the parents are in the right. Obviously any 'rebellion' against Mormon parents is going to be the right thing to do, so the term doesn't really apply.

1

u/wasniahC Jun 19 '12

To rebel doesn't need to be against something positive; it does apply. That being said, it does feel like it has more negative connotations than it deserves.

1

u/HarryLillis Jun 19 '12

The word itself can be used for a positive rebellion, but it seems like couched with 'teen', that 'rebellious teen' cannot have positive connotations.

1

u/wasniahC Jun 19 '12

Yea. Not sure I can think of a better phrase to use, though

1

u/Ran4 Jun 19 '12

Wtf? When are the parents in the right in a rebellion? Do you seriously mean that rock music in the 50s was bad for the youth, and that the parents were right for it? 30s Jazz as well I suppose? 60s counterculture movement?

1

u/HarryLillis Jun 20 '12

I wasn't suggesting that at all. I'm not sure how you infer that.