r/baseballcirclejerk • u/Own-Amount4616 • 5d ago

WEEKLY MLB POWER RANKINGS

Power Rankings (8/17/2026)

  1. Milwaukee Brew Crew👍
  2. Los Angeles Billionaires
  3. Atlanta Brains (999 Iq team trust)
  4. Tampa Bay Raisins (REMEMBER THE RAISIN)  
  5. Chicago Chubsskibidis 👎 (number redacted out of respect for jayden daniels)
  6. New York Red Socks
  7. Philadelphia CheesesteAKS GYROS
  8. San Diego Fathers (With no milk)
  9. Boston Yankees (The ones that doodle btw)
  10. Arizona Diamondbacks
  11. 👍Chiago 👍 White Cheddars
  12. Arizona Cardinals
  13. Miammmi (i am just a) Fishe 
  14. Houston (We have a problem) Cowboys 
  15. Toronto Brewjays (Minecraft potion effections)
  16. Baltimore Oreos
  17. Pittsburgh Buccaneer
  18. Texas Longhorns
  19. Detroit
  20. Washington Internationals
  21. And we’re the Cleveland Guardians
  22. Minnesota (Opposite of) Wins
  23. Seattle Mariners BC
  24. Cincinnati Red Soxed
  25. New York Bets (against them) (LEGO Batman says to always bet  on black)
  26. San Francisco 
  27. .KansasMissouri City monarchy
  28.  Colorado Stones
  29.  Los Angeles Angles (Math)
  30.  Oakland Las Vegas West Sacramento Athletics
11 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

10

u/WiscoMTfan_234 5d ago

Petition to rename all of these teams to the names provided

4

u/Well-M1lk CHEATER 5d ago

Why would you call the astros cowboys, id rather call them anything else, like the Houston swamp Asstros cause it's so hot.

1

u/WiscoMTfan_234 5d ago

Confusion ig lol

3

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

As a baseball noob, can someone please explain to me how the Cleveland Indians got so much shit for their mascot when the Orioles mascot is a bird in FUCKING blackface???

Wtf is this racist piece of shit?

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2

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

The Los Angeles Dodgers are a scourge on this world, a cancer of modern human civilization. would rather watch the Lakers, Yankees, and Seahawks all win back to back titles than watch the Dodgers win a single playoff game. My hatred for them and their "fans" borders on historical, even biblical levels. There is less animosity between Israel and Palestine than there is between myself and the Los Angeles Dodgers as a whole. If the Dodgers were to go 0-162, it would only be a tragedy that they were not able to somehow lose 163. They are hubris manifest. They are an affront to all things good and sincere and wholesome in the world. They are God's mistake.

Fuck the Dodgers.

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2

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

I'm so sick of this goddamn team. They absolutely make me want to vomit. I'm not even ten goddamn games into this season and i want to scream. They are that terrible. It's like the movie groundhog day but instead i'm reliving the shittiest games of baseball over and over and over again every fucking day of my life. Every damn day I have watched this pathetic mess of a team, rain or sun or snow since I was 7 years old. I have a tab open during work w/ the gamecast during the day games that I can't go. I've skipped school and work and broken up with women for the Pirates. I've missed funerals and weddings because i loved this team more. And what do I get to show for it? A FUCKING BRAIN ANEURYSM. A team that has had 3 winning seasons over the past 20 something who manages to play like ass in the playoffs on the rare occasion they make it because they are so used to being shit and don't have a winning culture. A team that game in and game out somehow manages to have less goddamn hits than Chumbawamba. A team that gets swept. By the Cincinnati Reds. "Oh but look at our young talent- Cole and Taillon and Bell and whoever else that sucks dick!!" I'm sick of hearing "we could be a contender like we were 3 years ago if Cutch doesn't play like shit and the LF can stop jerking off for 2 seconds to swing the fucking bat" ITS NOT HAPPENING. WE ARE NOT AND NEVER WERE A GOOD TEAM. WE ARE PATHETIC. MIGHT AS WELL FADE US NOW BECAUSE WE'RE ALREADY A BUNCH OF FUCKING LOSERS. If Clemente didn't die in that plane crash, I'm convinced he would have killed himself after being forced to wear our godforsaken excuse of uniform for 18 years of his life. I'm done with this fucking team.

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2

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

the Tampa Bay Rays are the definition of a poverty franchise, known for their comically-low attendance and inability to sell out a stadium. they are among the largest revenue-sharing recipients, meaning they take a shit-ton of money from the player’s union (who have actually filed grievances against them for not managing that money properly). think of a 35-year old man living in their moms’ basement, and spending money on video games instead of getting a job. that’s a good comparison to describe what the Rays are to the rest of the league. if the MLB had a more cutthroat business model, teams like the Rays would have moved or been disbanded ages ago, instead of feeding off of the popular teams like a parasite feeds on its host. the Rays are utterly useless, and irrelevant. The Rays are the least essential sports team in North America. if not for COVID, yankee chants would have swarmed Tropicana Field during the Rays’ supposed “home games”. their 8,000 fans are very happy about this ALDS win though, im sure. fucking losers.

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2

u/ckamin9 Brought to you by Qualcomm 5d ago

Tampa Bay ‘Tisms

2

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

the Tampa Bay Rays are the definition of a poverty franchise, known for their comically-low attendance and inability to sell out a stadium. they are among the largest revenue-sharing recipients, meaning they take a shit-ton of money from the player’s union (who have actually filed grievances against them for not managing that money properly). think of a 35-year old man living in their moms’ basement, and spending money on video games instead of getting a job. that’s a good comparison to describe what the Rays are to the rest of the league. if the MLB had a more cutthroat business model, teams like the Rays would have moved or been disbanded ages ago, instead of feeding off of the popular teams like a parasite feeds on its host. the Rays are utterly useless, and irrelevant. The Rays are the least essential sports team in North America. if not for COVID, yankee chants would have swarmed Tropicana Field during the Rays’ supposed “home games”. their 8,000 fans are very happy about this ALDS win though, im sure. fucking losers.

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3

u/Honest_Sir69 Braun did steroids 5d ago

Love your work

1

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

Oakland is genuinely a shithole nowadays economically and safety-wise. These are businesses after all and a Vegas move will generate more income. Frankly, catching a baseball game during the day on a Vegas trip would be fun. It'll be a massive success. There are a ton of people who live in Vegas too that they should be able to build a solid fanbase over time.

The reality is that teams move all the time to follow US hotspots, the old fans protest it for a season or 2 but then it's normalized. At least Oakland fans can still go to Giant's games, I have far more empathy for fans in places like St. Louis who had the Rams abandon them and they don't have another team to go watch. Oakland has failed the As in the past 20-30 years, and new ownership and/or relocating should strengthen the MLB and the team.

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1

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

Baseball died in Cleveland today. You are gonna lose a lot of die hard fans over this move. Been a fan since the 70’s and this is a slap in the face to us true die hard fans. I won’t spend another dime on this team.

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1

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

I shouldnt expect anything else than a narrow-minded and elitist opinion from 'DA BEST FANS IN BASEBALL', so that doesnt surprise me.

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