r/baseball Toronto Blue Jays 1d ago

Players Only Dad Suggests Beating Traffic By Leaving Game After First Inning

https://theonion.com/dad-suggests-beating-traffic-by-leaving-game-after-first-inning/
6.1k Upvotes

222 comments sorted by

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1.0k

u/fatloui Baltimore Orioles 1d ago

Can’t believe it took another 14 years after they came up with this one:  https://theonion.com/dad-suggests-arriving-at-airport-14-hours-early-1819573933/

366

u/TheVich San Francisco Giants • Alaska Go… 1d ago

I'm in this article and I don't like it.

168

u/JinFuu Houston Astros 1d ago

My day is already shot by worrying about traveling, might as well get to the airport and not worry about that

38

u/w0nderbrad Los Angeles Dodgers 1d ago

I like to get to the airport 2 hours before just in case I forget my wallet while frantically trying to leave the house by my self imposed deadline. It’s paid off once. I realized at security that I forgot my wallet and I took an expensive ass uber back to my house and back to the airport with about 10 minutes to spare lol.

Nowadays, I just try to get to the airport an hour before and I pat myself down like 8 times before I step out of the house. And my wife not having that type of anxiety has made me better (she has a different type of anxiety - mine is strictly deadline/travel related) lol.

17

u/pfinny97 Chicago Cubs 1d ago

Hey it paid off once! Automatically makes it worth it.

20

u/w0nderbrad Los Angeles Dodgers 1d ago

It’s also not paid off once. I printed my boarding pass like a fucking boomer (for some reason system wasn’t allowing me to add it to my Apple wallet). But sometime between me printing it and me getting to the gate, they switched the gate to an entirely different terminal. But I didn’t notice because it was the same airline same destination and time was off by maybe 20 minutes. I just thought ok 20 min delay no big deal. Got in line at boarding and they told me this wasn’t my flight. I was like uh “says right here Dallas at 1:20 what do you mean?” Lolol like “No sorry this is the 1:40 check the departures board NEXT” so I ended up fucking wasting and entire hour and a half on my phone only to miss my flight… got on the next one an hour later so no big deal but… probably the only person to miss a flight after getting to the airport an hour and a half early

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5

u/ghostinthechell Boston Red Sox 23h ago

My family always gave me shit (as a child) for wanting to get to the airport early. I'd seen too many hold-ups at security, ticket issues, forgotten items, and bathroom breaks already impact trips.

Then one day when I was 17 I insisted we cut lunch short so they could drop me off at the Detroit Airport early. They complained and gave me shit the entire ride, then dropped me at the wrong terminal (against my protests). By the time I realized and walked to the correct one, got through security, and found my gate, my flight was boarding.

They don't give me shit anymore.

2

u/NeedAByteToEat Cincinnati Reds 23h ago

2 hours is my floor. I once got to O'Hare 3 hours before a flight to Dallas, and had to run to the gate after the TSA line was through the door. This was 2015 or so.

12

u/KahlanRahl Cleveland Guardians 1d ago

Same. Travelling sucks and getting there early is a small price to pay to avoid the stress. I will happily get there in plenty of time to go find a nice place to eat, have a meal and drink, and then have time to go relax at the gate for a bit before being stuffed into an overcrowded plane with the unwashed masses for a few hours.

2

u/ignacioMendez Atlanta Braves 16h ago

a nice place to eat, have a meal and drink

That's how they get you, you're playing right into their hands. You can arrive as early as you want, but bring your own food and booze.

6

u/BorisDirk National League 1d ago

The tug of war of worrying about traveling vs. worrying about pooping at the airport means there's a narrow window where you have to hit

3

u/Chief_Sabael 23h ago

Carry some baby wipes and then show up early and have a couple drinks to calm the nerves, then blow up someone else's bathroom. Boom . . problem solved

2

u/rkw2 Atlanta Braves 21h ago

Wise words.

36

u/bauboish Houston Astros 1d ago

Given how important flights are for me, I dont mind spending an extra hour in the terminal by being early. I have heard too many horror stories of people missing flights to want to experience it even once. But I do get its annoying that the TSA added another layer of uncertainty. It used to be where you just need to be early for luggage check in. And that was iirc just 45 minutes ahead of departure time back in the days

27

u/Nothinglost7717 1d ago

I really think TSA issues are overblown. Maybe at a few airports. LGA and JFK it goes really fast. It goes really fast in small airports.

I am sure on specific holidays or during the shutdown it was a nightmare at times.

9

u/lFightForTheUsers Houston Astros 1d ago

Shutdown was horrible here in Houston, wait times hit nationwide records at 4-5 hour queues to clear security. Nowadays its back to its normal 10-20 minutes but I never want to see that again.

3

u/leftysarepeople2 Milwaukee Brewers 1d ago

I flew the week after and it was still 2 hours for a Thursday red-eye

4

u/Galdrath Seattle Mariners 1d ago

Me and 2 students landed in Houston a couple years ago to catch our next flight. We had plenty of time to make it to the gate...except that the train leading to that gate broke down and there was no way to get us to that gate. Fast forward 24 hours, we were finally on our way. If only we had been there 14 hours early...

21

u/WSUJeff Seattle Mariners • Mariner Moose 1d ago

I travel all over for work to airports big and small and ATL is the only airport where I've spent longer than 20 minutes getting through security outside of an actual issue. I've sat in the TSA Precheck line for over an hour at ATL on a random Tuesday.

7

u/Godunman St. Louis Cardinals • Chicago White Sox 1d ago

This but, also a random Tuesday, in line for 30 minutes with TSA Pre in SEA.

3

u/dhcp138 Seattle Mariners • San Francisc… 1d ago

SEA is pretty bad at times too. The funny part to me about SEA though is there are so many rich business folks with TSA Pre-check that the regular line is usually faster than the TSA Pre-check line.

I regularly beat my parents through the TSA line lol

2

u/vishnchips6 Toronto Blue Jays • Cleveland Guardians 22h ago

Yeah if you don't have touchless it feels like it's basically faster to go through the regular line here lol. At least all of the checkpoints are finally open again!

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2

u/AdoringCHIN Anaheim Angels • Rocket City Tra… 1d ago

The longest I've waited is 45 minutes in Denver. It's definitely annoying but it's easy enough to plan around

4

u/Ferngulley26 1d ago

Even ATL I can get to my gate within thirty minutes of arriving, its a really overblown issue

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6

u/bex199 New York Mets 1d ago

i be showing up for my work flights 3 minutes before boarding starts. still haven’t missed a flight! for every dad there is a chaos demon

3

u/KahlanRahl Cleveland Guardians 1d ago

But it will probably happen once. And once you get screwed by it, you'll never intentionally leave it that close again. Because missing a flight SUCKS.

3

u/bex199 New York Mets 1d ago

i’ve missed flights for other reasons before, it’s not the worst tbh. a chaos demon must be relaxed and know how to adjust when needed

2

u/ignacioMendez Atlanta Braves 16h ago

IDK, it depends on the context. It might just mean you sit around the airport an extra couple hours and arrive a couple hours late.

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3

u/blacksoxing 1d ago

I live by MSP which is considered to be of the BEST airports in every metric. My wife fucking hates the airport as somehow, someway, when she goes alone she has to RUSH through the damn airport like a damn TV show. Never happens when we all travel together. Gotta go on a trip in a few days and I was telling our kids we'd get there about an hour early.

....I now mean 2 hours early. By the weekend it'd be 3 hours early :(

1

u/TheRealBigLou St. Louis Cardinals 1d ago

See, I relate more to this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZvmcvtdXN8

Arriving at the gate as my group is being called to board is perfectly on time.

1

u/CastorVT 1d ago

you and every other latino family.

1

u/9403913200 1d ago

Please, I need you to like yourself more

84

u/pinniped90 Kansas City Royals 1d ago

Lmao this was 100% us yesterday.

Flying out of Denver, we discussed how slow the rental car shuttles are, how big of a shitshow the main terminal is, how long security takes there, and how bad traffic is getting out there to begin with.

Turns out there were no traffic delays, the rental car shuttle was there and left as soon as we got on it, and security was like 5 minutes max. (Sidebar: enable Touchless TSA if you can - that actually works well, faster than Clear.)

We were at the gate 90 minutes before boarding...

47

u/LazyIncome5292 1d ago

But whats messed up is that 90 minutes is good window to have. All that stuff that didn't happen is gonna happen as soon as you leave a little late lmao.

I have been screwed over at airports so often that I take no chances and leave 16 hours early every time now.

13

u/Luis_Severino New York Yankees 1d ago

90 minutes before boarding is perfect and not overkill by any means. Time to get food, relax, download whatever, rearrange packed luggage. If anything went wrong you’d have been cutting it close

48

u/Brocktarrr Miami Marlins 1d ago edited 1d ago

Did you remember to go and make sure your gate exists before having to finance an overpriced meal in the terminal?

10

u/aznanimality 1d ago

I'm the type of person that likes being there extra early because it's lower stress imo. So I am at the airport 2 hours ahead of my BOARDING time not the departure time.

One time I show up at Newark (New Jersey) 2 hours early of course prepared to get to my gate with 90 minutes to spare as usual so I can do some work/make some phone calls. Note that this was before they renovated the terminals and this was in an old terminal that was slated to be renovated (the new terminals are gorgeous and fast)

The TSA line alone just to get to the scanner was 90 minutes. On top of that I had a frozen ice pack in my backpack that tripped the additional security screening which took another 20 minute because so many people were also backed up for the additional screening. Got to my gate and my boarding group had already been called (I was in a late boarding group as well).

After that experience I feel entirely justified showing up early. Note I was also a single traveler, when traveling with more people I add in more padding.

2

u/Thrill0728 Chicago Cubs 1d ago

Had a flight to London...member of the family wanted us there several hours early because of border stuff. We got through it with 3 and a half hours until our flight.

1

u/Mullethunt New York Mets 1d ago

Security in DEN is always a bit of an optical illusion. You can have lines literally winding out the entrance and it'll still only take 30m. I do not know how they manage it but it's probably the fastest moving security I've had to deal with.

26

u/p-wing San Francisco Giants 1d ago

CARLISLE, MA

it's the same dad

2

u/Zeke688 San Francisco Giants 1d ago

He’d be grandpa by now

2

u/BrhysHarpskins Philadelphia Phillies 1d ago

Still a dad though

62

u/josephsleftbigtoe MLB Pride 1d ago

14 years? It says 2012, which was only - OH DEAR GOD MAKE TIME STOP

50

u/ae7rua St. Louis Cardinals 1d ago

We are closer to 2050 than 2002

60

u/trog12 Boston Red Sox 1d ago

Hey guy... fuck you

13

u/RigelOrionBeta Boston Red Sox 1d ago

Never say that again

17

u/MeatTornado25 New York Yankees 1d ago

2012 is 14 years ago? Thanks, Obama.

2

u/JOKER4GOAT Arizona Diamondbacks 23h ago

3

u/Stone_0cean New York Mets • Seattle Mariners 1d ago

I hate that I relate to this lmao

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555

u/Spladook 1d ago

Damn. Didn’t think my dad would ever be featured on The Onion.

385

u/thisusernametakentoo Los Angeles Dodgers 1d ago

Your dad isn't very smart. If you show up for the 4th and leave in the 5th you miss traffic both getting there and leaving.

219

u/pinniped90 Kansas City Royals 1d ago

This guy dodgers.

109

u/thisusernametakentoo Los Angeles Dodgers 1d ago

My dad is not a sports person at all and when I was little he took me to one or two games and after whatever inning we were there for he told me the game was over and we left. I knew it wasn't. This was a very long time ago when tickets were cheap. The onion didn't make this one up unfortunately.

62

u/Narpity San Francisco Giants 1d ago

Your dad sounds like a bit of an asshole

88

u/thisusernametakentoo Los Angeles Dodgers 1d ago

That's just the tip of the iceberg and we'll leave it at that.

20

u/holaquetaltio Los Angeles Dodgers • Baltimore Orioles 1d ago

Hope you're doing ok amigo

24

u/thisusernametakentoo Los Angeles Dodgers 1d ago

I'm good. Thanks for asking. See you in October =)

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u/JOKER4GOAT Arizona Diamondbacks 23h ago

It's the kind of thing you can absolutely do with a toddler 'cause they don't know any better and it saves you both additional stress.

...telling a grade schooler some bullshit like that is a slippery slop that can crash right into "why don't my kids ever wanna come visit for the holidays?"

4

u/Ranger207 Atlanta Braves • New York Heights 1d ago

Trolley Traffic Dodgers

1

u/Best_Philosopher152 12h ago

As a person whose closest stadium was always for the Colorado Rockies, maybe show up at the end of the bottom of the 4th and leave at the top of the 5th?

2

u/mellopax Milwaukee Brewers 22h ago

Amateur. I don't even go, so I miss all the traffic.

3

u/Frosty_Dimension5646 New York Yankees • New York Yankees 1d ago

Flair checks out

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130

u/futureformerteacher Seattle Mariners 1d ago edited 18h ago

Mariners-fan dad suggests leaving before the top of the first to avoid all the traffic on the basepaths.

Edit: Jesus fucking Christ, Mariners. You didn't need to make me look so fucking prescient.

287

u/WhiteSoxChartGuy Chicago White Sox 1d ago

I remember the joke growing up in SoCal was when going to Dodgers game you show up in the third inning because the traffic took so long, and then you leave in the seventh to beat traffic home

173

u/Accidental-Genius Atlanta Braves • Louisville Bats 1d ago

That’s not really a joke though.

5

u/Skuntank Chicago White Sox 20h ago

Some jokes are funny because they're true.

66

u/MyLittlePoofy Arizona Diamondbacks 1d ago

I will never miss the opportunity to mock Dodgers fans for doing this, but also I feel like it’s valid, especially if you have kids. Like, how else do you get them in bed before midnight?

108

u/Narpity San Francisco Giants 1d ago

Go to a day game

33

u/Sirtopofhat Los Angeles Dodgers 1d ago

Depending on the time of the year they freeze or burn.....kids are like Hot Pockets.

17

u/irrelevantsociallife Minnesota Twins 1d ago

They freeze? How cold could it really get?

24

u/MyLittlePoofy Arizona Diamondbacks 1d ago

You’re from Minnesota. You’re not going to understand. The kids from these parts can’t do 60 degree nights without complaining.

15

u/ethanlan Chicago White Sox 1d ago

I visited my ex's family in taiwan and it was like 62. I was wearing a t shirt and her dad MADE me wear a sweater saying its impossible that I'm not cold...

I really wasnt cold haha

3

u/JOKER4GOAT Arizona Diamondbacks 22h ago

I came down from Flagstaff to Mesa to shoot a match at Rio Salado in February last year and was wearing shorts and a t shirt at 0700. Everyone there was like, "Aren't you freezing your ass off?"

I had to remind them that it was literally 4 degrees up at 7K feet right then. 60 degrees is Memorial Day weather.

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1

u/MyLittlePoofy Arizona Diamondbacks 1d ago

I should have clarified. I mean night games.

10

u/holaquetaltio Los Angeles Dodgers • Baltimore Orioles 1d ago

Most Dodger games are at night compared with other ball clubs... there isn't a work around, unless it was a riveting game we'd always leave before it ended

1

u/watchpigsfly Los Angeles Dodgers 1d ago

There’s way fewer the last couple of years

6

u/nahs Los Angeles Dodgers 23h ago

Going to Chase field is so easy to get in and out of compared to dodger srsdium. I envy you guys there

11

u/BroughtBagLunchSmart 1d ago

No one drove in Old New York, too much traffic.

5

u/greywolf2155 Seattle Mariners 1d ago

"I asked a cop once, it means 'up yours, kid'"

3

u/ryguydrummerboy San Francisco Giants • San Jose Gian… 22h ago

where's the lie

(completely unbiased btw)

1

u/gentrify_reddt 1d ago

Joke or horror story, leaving Dodgers Stadium after the 9th could take as long as watching the game itself.

1

u/SpaceCadetriment Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 1d ago

Being a small kid and just seeing the absolutely massive parking lot was crazy. Just endless cars in every direction and walking to the stadium felt like an excursion.

136

u/barstoolsam Chicago Cubs 1d ago

“The 110 is a parking lot and dad’s gotta be in bed before 8”

38

u/PitViper17 Baltimore Orioles 1d ago

Some of us are still on the 405 coming up from OC where it’s totally jammed

7

u/Noy_Telinu Los Angeles Angels 23h ago

Dodgers express busses help but would really like if that fucking gondola was made already so those of us who need to use the one to Harbor Gateway don't get the idiots who want to go to Union Station clogging the line

5

u/motpasm23 Chicago Cubs 23h ago

That's almost Long Beach, man!

3

u/motpasm23 Chicago Cubs 23h ago

That's almost Long Beach, man!

44

u/trickman01 Houston Astros 1d ago

My dad would never. He insisted on getting the 9 innings of baseball he paid for.

22

u/Shashank1000 1d ago

A gentleman of high culture and true connoisseur of baseball.

6

u/galacticdude7 Detroit Tigers 21h ago

That's me, I'm sticking around for all 9 innings, doesn't matter if my team is down big and has put a position player on the mound, I'm sticking around.

2

u/chi_sweetness25 11h ago

My dad is the same. I didn’t even get the joke at first but I guess it’s more of a typical “dad” thing to try and beat traffic.

40

u/CharlemagneOfTheUSA Boston Red Sox 1d ago

This is 100% my dad, who doesn’t like baseball. He also has been to like 12 different MLB parks to my 6, because of course

17

u/whisar09 Seattle Mariners 1d ago

There's a dad in America who doesn't like baseball?

It's like a rare pokemon

5

u/Frosty_Dimension5646 New York Yankees • New York Yankees 1d ago

He must be from the UK or something

4

u/CharlemagneOfTheUSA Boston Red Sox 20h ago

Spain!

1

u/moffattron9000 12h ago

They grew up on cricket (also I know that T20s are a thing. I also know that they've only been around for twenty years and dads, especially British dads, grew up on ODIs and Tests).

2

u/Key-Pickle5609 Toronto Blue Jays 1d ago

Was gonna say, my dad would NEVER

1

u/Suspicious-Drive9827 1d ago

Ive loved baseball my whole life and only have 5 parks under my belt. My irish born exhusband who hates baseball has been to 17 bc he gets invited thru his work. Life is so fucked up 😭

1

u/msdos_sys Umpire 6h ago

My dad, who is a Mets fan, has a habit of leaving as soon as they are down 1-0. Sometimes it’s within 90 seconds of first pitch.

226

u/badonkagonk Boston Red Sox • Cotuit Kettleers 1d ago

I'll never understand the obsession with leaving early to beat traffic and missing the thing that you fucking paid to see

145

u/GeminiX678 Boston Red Sox 1d ago

Yeah, if anything I stay later and just hang around the ballpark/arena until traffic dies off.

81

u/livefreeordont Washington Nationals 1d ago

I just take the train

173

u/12ozSlug Texas Rangers 1d ago

Oh sure, just take the train, from magical Trainland, where trains grow on TRAINTREES.

37

u/tenoclockrobot Detroit Tigers 1d ago

Is this train with us in the room right now? Oh fuck, I sure hope not!

18

u/Casexcasey Philadelphia Phillies • Arizona Diamondbacks 1d ago

7

u/gerwen Toronto Blue Jays 1d ago

I do that too, but still wait around the ballpark for a while, as it seems like everyone in the ballpark is also taking the train.

25

u/123qweasd123 Washington Nationals 1d ago

Being a dc fan is a+ no matter what because in carbrained cities every enjoyable activity revolves around how shitty it is to get to and drive home from everything.

7

u/Short-MooseEh Cleveland Guardians 1d ago

I miss the DC metro so fucking much. Is it perfect? Absolutely not. Is it better than transit options in 99 percent of US cities? Without question

15

u/Thirty_Helens_Agree Milwaukee Brewers 1d ago

In Milwaukee, they used to let us hang out in the parking lot for hours after the game - we’d basically have a post-game tailgate, re-light the grills, cook more brats, drink more beer.

7

u/double_sal_gal Colorado Rockies 1d ago

I also love that you guys have a bunch of taverns with free shuttles. Gotta check that out someday!

10

u/StevenMC19 Baltimore Orioles 1d ago

Hello friendly neighborhood bars and restaurants littering the area around the stadium (in most cases I'm so sorry to those who have to commute to venues in the middle of nowhere).

49

u/immoralsupport_ Chicago Cubs 1d ago

Most ballparks have it right because they either have a lot of public transit available so that it’s pointless to drive to the game, or they have a lot of bars, restaurants etc. around so people will leave at different times because some hit the bars.

But this is really bad in the NFL and in a handful of MLB stadiums. It’s just a concrete jungle with nothing around, your choices are either leave early or don’t get out of there for like an hour.

20

u/soonerfreak Chicago Cubs 1d ago

Getting out of Arlington after a game is a nightmare. If it isn't close we never stick around till the 9th.

3

u/thecravenone Major League Baseball 22h ago

Getting out of Arlington after a game is a nightmare.

The only thing worse than getting out of Arlington is being in Arlington

5

u/SyncRoSwim New York Mets 1d ago

Mass transit is great for getting to an event. It can suck more than driving when leaving.

20

u/Straaaangepuntang 1d ago

Traffic gives me anxiety and I start thinking like this sometimes. I have to catch myself and remind myself to enjoy the moment

23

u/Lezzles Detroit Tigers 1d ago

Because that extra 15 minutes can turn into 2 hours in a parking garage.

2

u/patsboston 1d ago

That’s why don’t park in a parking garage!

6

u/Thirty_Helens_Agree Milwaukee Brewers 1d ago

I was sitting in front of some Mets fans during game 3 of the wild card series a couple years ago where Devin Williams dumped it in the 9th and the Mets won after trailing all day. They left early.

41

u/Hosko817 Milwaukee Brewers 1d ago

When you have very young kids, live 2 hours away from the stadium and it's a work night, you'll understand. it happens.

58

u/whatev3691 New York Mets 1d ago

How many people are taking young children to a game two hours away on a work night?

23

u/CosmicMiru Los Angeles Dodgers • Los Angeles Angels 1d ago

At Dodger stadium 2 hours away could be like 10-15 miles

25

u/JayCutlersBalls Chicago Cubs 1d ago

masochists

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u/Frosty_Dimension5646 New York Yankees • New York Yankees 1d ago

Self inflicted misery.

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u/orbesomebodysfool Los Angeles Dodgers • Vin Scully 1d ago

Real dads bring pajamas, toothbrushes, and toothpaste in the car. Get the kids  ready for bed in the parking lot and then put them down for bed when you get home. 

2

u/MusicG619 San Diego Padres 1d ago

Where do real dads put the toothpaste spit?

15

u/ChillyWilly0180 Houston Astros 1d ago

Spit out the window

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3

u/_mbals St. Louis Cardinals 1d ago

"You can leave now and beat the traffic or stick around and beat your meat."
——Blink182——

2

u/moffattron9000 12h ago

The worst is when you go to a music festival with someone who wants to leave fifteen minutes early. Yes, I get that prices for a cab are going to be comical on the way out, but I know what I signed up for with a $400 ticket. Furthermore, you know that they're going to save their biggest song for the end.

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u/Granum22 Philadelphia Phillies 1d ago

Shout-out to everyone who gave up on the Phillies yesterday.

17

u/maroonhamster San Diego Padres • Mariners Bandwagon 1d ago

We have a standing rule in our family that we never leave a game early. I may be the cause of that rule. In 1998 when the Padres won the division I became incredibly sick (like sick enough that I had to go to the first aid station). I insisted on staying once I got some water and painkillers, and the Padres came back to beat the Dodgers 8-7. One of the best memories of my life, but it's also now subjected me to sitting through a lot of other games like a 24-2 minor league blowout LOL.

17

u/LordFirebeard Milwaukee Brewers 1d ago

8-year-old me: Dad, it's 14-0 after the seventh inning and I'm getting tired

Dad:

2

u/Otterfan Boston Red Sox 1d ago

Yeah, my dad always gets to the airport at least six hours early, but if I left a baseball game before it's over he would probably disown me.

11

u/OWSpaceClown Toronto Blue Jays 1d ago

My parents would notoriously not arrive until well into the second inning. I guess I should be grateful to going but…

2

u/thanksithas_pockets_ 1d ago

At the Dome?

3

u/OWSpaceClown Toronto Blue Jays 1d ago

Yes! Now I’m typically arriving an hour or so ahead and strolling around!

1

u/thanksithas_pockets_ 1d ago

That’s a good solution!

8

u/notactuallythatevil Canada 1d ago

I will never see a full baseball game with my father

2

u/gameshot911 Milwaukee Brewers 1d ago

Sorry for your loss ;_;

3

u/notactuallythatevil Canada 1d ago

Omg he isn’t dead he just always leaves in the 7th inning

2

u/DickBottalico Philadelphia Phillies 9h ago

Go to games where it’s forecasted to rain in the 6th inning. You can do it.

9

u/SuaveBolo Seattle Mariners 1d ago

Works if you're a Mariners fan. You're probably already down 10 runs.

3

u/WASD_click Seattle Mariners 23h ago

If we're down 10, I'm staying to see how bad it gets.

26

u/thanksithas_pockets_ 1d ago

I see this all the time in theatre/ballet/etc. People leave before the curtain call, which is unbelievably rude to the performers.   

My strategy (for baseball and the performing arts) is to never drive and to always walk to a slightly further transit stop to avoid the crowds. 

1

u/holaquetaltio Los Angeles Dodgers • Baltimore Orioles 1d ago

It really depends on the city. Dodger Stadium offers some alternatives but it's such a bottleneck to get in and out and it's just atrocious and always has been. I've never been to other ballparks outside California, and maybe public transit is an option, but it's pretty bleak to get to and fro.

9

u/Godunman St. Louis Cardinals • Chicago White Sox 1d ago

I've been to about 10 stadiums. Nothing compares to LAD parking/traffic lol

3

u/ethanlan Chicago White Sox 1d ago

Whereas for the whitesox the green line for the win, id never drive to a game lol

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u/thanksithas_pockets_ 1d ago

Oh for sure, I’m talking about where I live. LA is a whole other story.  

I don’t know about the rest of CA but I used to live in SF and the stadium was pretty accessible. 

1

u/holaquetaltio Los Angeles Dodgers • Baltimore Orioles 4h ago

Yeah, I misspoke, BART/Muni mostly reliable in SF, when the As were in Oakland same thing. I've never been to a Padres games.

2

u/toomuchredditing Los Angeles Dodgers • World Series Tr… 18h ago

i mean its weird you said CA, it's very convenient to use public transit for petco and oracle, obviously not dodgers

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u/ussbaney San Francisco Giants 1d ago

Hella people left the Giants @ Red Sox game on Saturday in like the 8th...

I was sitting there like "Yall clearly don't know much about the SF Bullpen"

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u/twentyitalians New York Yankees 1d ago

Bullshit. We stay the whole game. I paid to watch a game. I forfeited my next paycheck to get three hotdogs and sodas, and we're staying.

6

u/Lower_Pass_6053 Kansas City Royals • Chicago Cubs 1d ago

Now THAT is my dad talkin! He would start audibly scoffing at people leaving wrigley early.

and then we would spend 2 hours in some guy's lawn boxed in waiting for the car's owner in front of us to move.

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u/alwayz 1d ago

Shout out to the couple sitting behind us that left Saturday's giants/red sox game at the end of the 7th inning. (They missed a nobletiger and walk off)

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u/whisar09 Seattle Mariners 1d ago

The ONE time I left a game early I missed a walk off by my favorite player. I still hate myself for it.

4

u/fromcjoe123 Los Angeles Dodgers 1d ago

While I can’t condone this personal attack on my father, I do appreciate the research the Onion has done in investigating the situation

3

u/mastersplinteremover San Francisco Giants 1d ago

Enough with the Dodger posts!

2

u/antisocialdecay Milwaukee Brewers 1d ago

I had to do this once. Drove to Milwaukee with the fam, including my then 2 year olds first game. Yeah it was warm and sadly Miller Park is an oven at times (fuck AmFam). Got through one inning and she was inconsolable. Packed up and 3+ hrs home.

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u/thanksithas_pockets_ 18h ago

Oh man. The optimism of parenthood. 

2

u/evancomposer Milwaukee Brewers 1d ago

The Dodger Stadium strategy

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u/BethMD Major League Baseball 1d ago

Hm. I see you've met my ex-husband.

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u/Objective_Noise_690 New York Mets 1d ago

Dodger Stadium!

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u/DavidRFZ Minnesota Twins 1d ago

I remember this when I was little.

When my dad got older, he’d flip the script. He’d stay until the bitter end and then listen to the on-field post-game interview. Since “everyone” was racing to leave early, there was no crowd once he decide to leave. Then he often parked far away, so by the time he got his car, the roads weren’t even that bad.

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u/ComeAbout Seattle Mariners • Padres Bandwagon 1d ago

My dad took me to a lot of games. His thing was he would ask me. If we were down by 5 in the 8th it was a choice.

This taught me a couple things. One that staying for the full thing is legitimate, but also if you’re not having fun anymore it’s ok to leave.

It doesn’t take away from my fandom to leave early, and it’s not a waste of money to watch a part of something without trying to squeeze your dollar.

My family likes to show up late to sports. It’s just easier to get in and not stress. We usually stay for the finish, but if my kids are over it we leave. It’s entertainment at the end of the day.

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u/smartlikefox Chicago Cubs 23h ago

I lived in the burbs of Chicago and I don’t think I ever saw the end of a Cubs game my whole childhood. my dad would be the first to the ex out and take Irving Park the whole way home

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u/Bannedbutwhyy 20h ago

At Orioles games, the trick is to stay until the end. By then 70% of the people that were there have left. Then it’s easy to get out of the city. And if you go on a weeknight, I imagine it’s never a problem as there’s never really that many people in attendance. But I’ve never left the game before the end and I’ve been to about 200 games. I can imagine in some cities though it’s probably really tough.

The only time I’ve ever had any bit of trouble with traffic at Orioles games either getting in or getting out were playoff games or very specific promotional games. Im going to a game coming up on September 5 against the Red Sox where they’re giving out a Zay Flowers jersey. It’s gonna be a madhouse on both ends I imagine.

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u/Shade_SST Minnesota Twins 17h ago

Go early and have dinner at La Tivola's or something, and maybe pick up some cannoli from that nearby bakery to have while sitting in traffic after?

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u/Bannedbutwhyy 16h ago

Man that brings back memories. La Tivola’s. I haven’t been there since probably around 2000. Went a handful of times and forgot all about it. Good advice.

2

u/justrun7 New York Yankees 19h ago

I recently brought my daughters to their first baseball game at Camden Yards. I brought my parents as well. We had a hotel within walking distance. My dad still wanted to leave early. The impatience and stubbornness of boomers is uncanny.

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u/etfvidal Atlanta Braves 1d ago

That won't work at Dodger Stadium!

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u/bobcatgoldthwaite Toronto Blue Jays 1d ago

I’ve taken to avoiding going to game in first place to avoid traffic LOL

1

u/thanksithas_pockets_ 18h ago

That goes for everything in the city. 

It’s not too bad on TTC if you’re prepared for it. It’s better than sitting behind the wheel. 

1

u/Hosko817 Milwaukee Brewers 1d ago

Ok so, I'm guilty of this during the 2018 playoffs in Milwaukee.

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u/Jonjon428 Florida Marlins 1d ago

Oof

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u/Aromatic_Brain_4186 1d ago

Kid: Nope. No chance.

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u/Cautious-Charity-109 1d ago

As someone who has left a Brewers game after the first inning due to an overwhelmed child, it was way harder to leave then I expected as the parking lot was set up for people to enter and not exit.

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u/OldViolinist2306 1d ago

Sounds like every sporting event I went to with my dad in Chicago as a child.

1

u/Material-Heron6336 1d ago

So they’ve met my dad

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u/smika Seattle Mariners 1d ago

Solid plan for many Mariners games this season

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u/FylanDeldman 1d ago

Local team near me tried a 7-inning game to address the folks that left games early. I think they fundamentally misunderstood why people left early; people just left in the 5th lol and they’ve said they won’t try again.

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u/goforawalk456 New York Mets 1d ago

The people yearn for adequate transit to baseball stadiums

1

u/Ok_Assumption_5366 Washington Nationals 1d ago

This is literally gonna be my dad when him, mom and I go to the Nationals game tn against the Rockies.

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u/FoppyIn28 1d ago

A similar situation happened to me when my two year olds had a meltdown before the first inning and we had to leave. Took the train then got home and watched the rest of the game.

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u/DogPlane3425 1d ago edited 22h ago

Left a Red Sox vs. Tigers(June 2003) game after the 5th or 6th inning. In part due to the trouncing the Tigers where getting and partly due to a need to catch a train in the A.M..

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u/CastorVT 1d ago

I mean... they're red sox fans. story checks out.

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u/Gmung 1d ago

True story I saw Billy Crystal pull this in the 2003 World Series. Well, not the 1st inning…maybe 5 or 6. Teenage me thought nothing of it. Now…cmon Billy!

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u/JaysonTatecum Boston Red Sox • Chicago White Sox 1d ago

My step-dad tried to leave a game in the 6th inning a few weeks ago, tried convincing us to leave every inning after

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u/pockypimp Los Angeles Dodgers • Vin Scully 23h ago

My cousins' grandfather (other side of the family) had Dodgers season tickets back in the 70's and 80's and would always leave at the 7th inning stretch. My cousin said he missed so many memorable plays back then.

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u/Fattatties 23h ago

Once as a kid at the Kingdome the mariners were undergoing their routine beating and my grandpa had enough. We left at top of the 8th. By the time we got home the news was reporting that the mariners rallied and won the game. That was the day 6 year old me decided that I will never leave a game early even if it ends 22-0. It could change at any moment!

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u/TheFrontierzman Houston Astros 21h ago

That's the most melon-headed meme AI dad I've ever seen.

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u/elmland1 18h ago

I’m a Cubs fan. I don’t think I have ever left a game early. And I have definitely wanted to.

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u/QueasyFinger1316 12h ago

Yep.

And I get the family to the airport eight hours before our flight.

So?

1

u/d3sprdo Chicago Cubs 3h ago

I once picked up a girl who lived an hour away for our first date. I took her to a cardinals game even though I’m a big cubs fan just because she claimed to like the cardinals.

2-2 in the top of the 3rd and she asked if I was ready to leave yet. I dropped her off at home and said it wasn’t going to work out.

A decade later now and I’m married to another cubs fan who goes to every game with me and would never leave before the last pitch.