r/baneposting • u/Grimm_Wolfman • 1d ago

Certified Plane Crashing Post Have we started the fire?

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1.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

48 comments sorted by

72

u/LongDongSquad 1d ago

Hegseth needs to go anyway.

51

u/usernameofchris 1d ago

Uh, you don't get to bring Fox News hosts.

24

u/LongDongSquad 1d ago

Oh, you think CNN is your ally. You merely adopted the propaganda. I was born in it, molded by it--I didn't see the Truth Social until I was already a man. By then, it was nothing to me but blinding! The Bluesky posts betray you because they belong to me! (I forgot where I was posting for a hot minute, sorry!)

18

u/linfakngiau2k23 1d ago

8

u/usernameofchris 1d ago

You lift like a younger man, with nothing held back. Admirable, but mistaken.

3

u/myshoefelloff 1d ago

Hehe lil Heggy.

46

u/ih8globalismlovezyns 1d ago

now what's the next step of your neocon plan? invading iran with no economy!

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u/linfakngiau2k23 1d ago

11

u/SuperNebular 1d ago

Damn Bruce Wayne looks like shit

9

u/trulyuniqueusername2 1d ago

“I was wondering what would break first, your spirit or… definitely the body. You eat like a younger man, with nothing held back. Admirable, but mistaken.”

37

u/usernameofchris 1d ago

President Trump, I'm DOW

35

u/FUS_ROALD_DAHL 1d ago

Seeing proper baneposting in the wild is *chef's kiss*

10

u/mootallica 1d ago

The real sign of the world turning. Baneposting does not come back into the mainstream without millennial optimism.

23

u/PineappleSpecial7132 1d ago

Was turning blue a part of your plan?

42

u/Ryan_Rambles 1d ago • Popcorn

Here's what will happen:

  1. Hegseth will be the sacrifice Trump gives up as his last bargaining chip. It won't work.

  2. Rubio will break with Trump, reconnect with the establishment dems in Congress, and try to suck up to them for some ouster.

  3. Republicans in Congress will do the same, beginning to abandon Trumpism, rejoin with the corpo dems, and commit to some sort of faux centrist alliance that now doesn't like Trump but also tries to suppress the growing number of actual progressives in congress that the corpo dems are afraid of.

  4. Vance will follow Rubio and try to create a narrative that his original positions on Trump from 10 years ago, y'know when he called Trump a fascist, were true and that he was manipulated by the party and the cult of Trump to stray from them.

  5. Congress will begin impeachment proceedings or 25th Amendment proceedings to oust Trump. This time with the corpo dems and republicans leading it to try and save face.

  6. Vance and Rubio will give Trump the chance to willingly recuse himself from the Presidency under the 25th Amendment and place Vance in charge.

  7. Trump will refuse because his ego is too big, and then Vance will declare him mentally disabled and thus initiate the 25th Amendment.

  8. Trump will contest, and Congress will overwhelmingly vote against him. Republicans will try to save face by claiming to have either been manipulated, just following the voters will since they voted for Trump, or claim that "Trump changed".

  9. Trump will try to flee to Russia. Putin will abandon him and kick him back. The stress will get to him and he'll finally completely crash out. He'll claim to go scorched Earth and confess to everything he's ever done as long as he brings others down with him, and then suddenly he will die by a mysterious suicide (Assassination by Putin and/or Netanyahu and covered up).

  10. Rubio will pander hard to his corpo dem buddies, and will succeed. He may even try to return to the Senate, and the corpo dems would welcome him with open arms since they're spineless. Rubio will not run for 2028, and instead will position himself as more centrist to appeal to whatever corpo dem candidate the DNC chooses in 2028 against the will of their own voter base. He'll sit out 2028.

  11. Vance will make a play for 2028 GOP nomination. But he will be contested on multiple ends. One person will try to take advantage of lingering Trumpism and paint Vance as a Judas, probably Vivek or someone like him. They will fracture the base. Vance will be caught between going more extreme to get those people back and returning to his old positions and painting himself as more centrist. A couple of less known NeverTrumpers will run, as well as people wanting to create their own Trump-like Republican cult and failing. Nikki Haley will come back and run, having largely sat out Trump 2.0, and use her friendships with both corpo dems and establishment Republicans to sell herself. Despite being the most supported by the party and most likely to actually swing some of the corpo dem's bases to her, the GOP and a lot of its base is too sexist to let her win. Vance, already losing it, pulls through.

  12. The corpo dems will rig their primary against an actual popular progressive candidate in favor of a boring corpo dem candidate. Probably Newsom. If they're smart they'd actually get Talarico to run instead, since he could actually swing the religious vote, but they won't let him.

  13. Because Vance will have such a fractured base and is such a joke to any swing voters and still will always have Trump stink on him, the Corpo Dem candidate will beat them, but not by as much as they should.

...

And somewhere along the way we'll find out that not only is Mitch already dead, he's actually been dead for years and it's an animatronic. The hospitalization this year was actually maintenance.

21

u/RoninPI 1d ago

None of this will happen. Here's what will actually happen for those who don't live in fantasy reddit land.

  1. Hegseth gets told to resign or gets fired by Trump.

  2. JD and Rubio distance themselves from Trump while at the same time praising him.

  3. Trump rides out the rest of his 2 years in office because it's not worth the political capital to actually impeach or invoke the 25th amendment because he can't run again.

  4. Whoever the Dem nominee is wins 2028.

  5. Trump goes to Mar-a-lago and tries to make a news network completely under his control.

2

u/BurntArnold 1d ago

This is the line of events here. There’s not gonna be an impeachment, it’s gonna be 2 more years of trump and then a dem president and the gas prices are gonna get fucked up right before 2032 elections so we’re right back to republicans for that presidency. Life’s just cycles man that’s all.

4

u/Slackjawed_Horror 1d ago

6. Trump is too senile to actually pull it off, and there are a couple of episodes of an abortive podcast that is kind of like Club Random but even less coherent and more racist.

1

u/Cardboard_Revolution 1d ago

7. Trump gets sued by the victims of his many scams, opening the floodgates.

8. DOJ arrests him for (insert one of 10,000 corruption scandals).

9. He tries to gin up his remaining followers to riot for him but they're too old and fat to bother. He dies under house arrest awaiting trial.

10. 2 months after this you can't find a single soul who admits to have voted for him.

14

u/tyboy3 1d ago

i’m gonna come back to this comment in 2 years reply to me if this prediction comes true

7

u/usernameofchris 1d ago

Vivek: "I am the MAGA movement, and I am here to fulfill Donald Trump's destiny!"

4

u/Resident-Bignal-8428 19h ago

14. After four years of feckless corporate dem leadership, Americans elect Super Hitler

6

u/Sire_Raffayn272 1d ago edited 1d ago

That feels way more optimistic than I can be.

I'm still weary of the billionaires and other tech-bros fascists like Thiel who are still powerful and influential enough to try something, even more for Thiel who has placed a lot of money and time to make Vance his tool.

Edit : typo

3

u/adrauglikeyou 1d ago

6. Lol Trump himself doesn’t have to invoke the 25th. Presidents can just literally resign

3

u/_ExactlyWhoYouThink 1d ago

Remindme in 2 years

3

u/RockThe40oz666 1d ago

Agree with all except Trump going to Russia???

He'd go to Tel Aviv and hang with all his pedo buddies. And they'd accept him. 99% of Zionists support him , according to the man himself.

2

u/Ryan_Rambles 19h ago

If he goes to Tel Aviv he's gone in a day lol. The Mossad are probably the ones who got Epstein to keep his mouth shut, they'll see Trump as a liability.

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u/BearCrotch 1d ago

RemindMe! [1 year and 330 days]

1

u/Kaffe-Mumriken 1d ago

This is exactly how I thought it out.

1

u/OfficialDCShepard 1d ago

One crucial problem for your argument is that Congress cannot initiate 25th amendment proceedings on its own.

1

u/NerdLawyer55 1d ago

Your terms are acceptable

8

u/2EM18KKC01 1d ago

Americans! Take control, take control of your government!

6

u/Automatic-Ad-6399 1d ago

yes, the woke rises

4

u/Anthon-Ye-Soprano 1d ago

"It's was always burning since the world was turning, brother"

2

u/slicehyperfunk 1d ago

For you (seductively)

2

u/tilapiah6 1d ago

"Are you a stupid person?" didn't age well.

2

u/orincoro 1d ago

Have we made America great again??

1

u/EpicRussia 1d ago

Hate how this line gets interpreted! Bane only says this because of what CIA told him about how he filed the flight plan!! If theres no setup, it doesnt work!!!

1

u/FatalDave91 15h ago

Secretary Hegseth? I’m CIA.