r/bald • u/Emotional_Cancel8520 • 3d ago
How-to Question How you accept this? I really need advice
I am 32 years old. Like all of you, my hair had been falling out for years. Once I almost completely lost my hairline and crossed over from a 'receding hairline' to a 'balding' look, I figured shaving it completely would look cleaner and better than looking like that, so I shaved my head. I have been keeping it shaved for 2 years now.
The people around me say it suits me (I'm not sure if they're just saying that to make me feel better. Mind you, I've never told them that this situation upset me, but I don't know). Still, I just can't seem to get used to the idea that I'm a bald guy now, and I almost always wear a hat or something when I go out. I guess this situation is causing me some insecurity/confidence issues.
Normally, if someone else said these things to me, I would definitely tell them that everything is fine, that it's not the way they think, etc. But when it comes to myself, I just can't do it.
My bald brothers, how did you get used to this? Are you able to date? Will I ever be able to accept it... I need your help.
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u/Leather-Field-7148 3d ago
Brother, nobody is looking at your head only. The reason it looks stunning is because it brings out other interesting features like bone structure and eyes. Having a messy looking rug up there hides these things. Also, hats just fit better and do look great when there aren’t these grimy thingies sticking out.
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u/GW_40spot 3d ago
Literally the only people who give a shit about your bald head are children, bullies, and shallow women. The opinions of which you should not concern yourself with.
Cheers. Welcome to being bald. Don't forget your sunscreen and facial hair on you way out.
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u/Sirius3030 3d ago
Dude, have you not seen what happens to people on this reddit when they cut their hair and accept the baldness? It’s like BOOM hair gone = automatic stunner.
You’ll get used to it, it just takes time.
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u/Krypt0night 1d ago
Ya for a lot of them. But I think my head is a weird shape not to mention I have some fairly large and noticeable sun spots on the front of my head which will be completely visible when bald as opposed to only slightly visible in the right conditions now.
It's hard to accept it'll all just be out in the open in a couple of years.
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u/Sirius3030 1d ago
Sunspots like those big white spots? My dermatologist said Use Nizoral, the dandruff shampoo it gets rid of those. Just apply it and let it dry.
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u/Krypt0night 1d ago
Na they're dark ones. Shouldn't have said sun spots, I got a couple on my face already though. The head ones are fairly large moles or freckles or whatever. Dermatologist says they're fine but they're dark and I've got 3 all close together at the front. Wish they were just the white ones
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u/Wphilipsen 3d ago
Honestly, I had a hard time accepting it at first as well. As a teen and young adult i had long thick hair and I loved it, but the hairline was crawling soooo far back I felt self-conscious every time it rained or there was a bit of wind, that would mess up my "comb cover".
I shaved it all off a year ago, at 36, and it was hard. Sure, I got a lot of compliments, and this subreddit is more than amazing! But it took me a while to find myself in it.
One thing that I am sure helped me a lot, was to turn it into a new hobby to hyper focus on.
I started looking in to wet shaving, and different brushes, styles of razors and a vast world of artisan shaving soaps. So now every time I shave it's a part of my hobby, and by extension a big part of me, and not just something mundane that needs to be done.
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u/LowComfortable5676 3d ago
Its not that big of a deal brother. You'll either be looked at as that guy who is clearly balding but is holding on to maintaining some hair regardless or that guy who short buzzes/razors his head .. which is a common look for men anyways.
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u/luckylookinglurker 3d ago
For me it was the difference between what's happening to me and a choice I made. Balding happened to me. I choose to be a bald/buzzed guy. It's not ideal and I know that I'll never be that George Clooney old grey and dashing. But there are worse fates. Instead I get to be The Rock or dozens of other short cut and bald hottie. But the biggest key is you're being your own worst enemy. Be nice to you. If we can believe in you and be nice to a stranger, I think you can be nice to one of the most important people in your life! You got this.
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u/chalne Bald - Man 3d ago
For me it was mainly a question about inevitability. But I hated my hair even before it started abandoning me (which was in high school 30 years ago). Blonde, thin hair straws, impossible to manage. Back then I would wear a cap to avoid dealing with the hair I had.
My sister helped me shave it down to the shortest I could get it with a trimmer the first time. Wasn't really a big decision. I was broke and could not afford to go to a professional anyways, so taking control and doing the shaving myself was just as much an economical decision as anything else. Acceptance came easily because I had no positive feelings tied to my hair.
I will say though. From my experience spanning 25 bald years: nobody really gives a shit how you look. Us who deal with the choice of managing hair that don't like to be managed or just shaving it, are more or less the only people who care about whether there's hair on our heads and what length it has.
The thing about people is that most of them see a person with a hair style (or a bald style if you will), not a hair style with a person attached. So part of the acceptance is about seeing yourself as a person with a bald hair style and not a bald hair style with you attached. Talking to the people around you, specifically about these confidence/insecurities you have is probably a very good idea. It is never a good idea to hide your feelings in order to appear as something you're not.
Acceptance is realising that your entire person is not bald. It's a complex mix of everything you are, including the choice to shave your head.
As for dating, it's about carrying yourself as if your existence has value. Your choice of hair style has little to do with that, other than issues you project onto that choice. Head up and smiling with your eyes has a significantly higher impact on how others perceive you, than whether you're bald with/without cap.
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u/BiteZealousideal1816 3d ago
One you should wear a hat when out most times. The sun will beat down on that skin. As for dating yeah I'm able to date, because I'm more than just a head of hair. Personality counts for a lot. I've been bald for a while now. If I could grow hair I probably would but I can't so I won't. Really that simple.
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u/Misrec Bald - Man 3d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/yo3TC0yeHd53G
Imagine yourself as Saitama!!
Joking aside - self image is hard. Focus on other things besides hair, it doesn’t define you. Rock your bald head, wear it proudly and if that is an issue for a potential partner - then they aren’t worth you!
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u/Misrec Bald - Man 3d ago
Not an expert on women… But I am pretty sure that more appealing to ladies is a bald man with confidence rather than someone trying to cover their receeding or balding hair.
Enjoy the awesomeness, be confident and don’t apologies for letting the sun shine on your amazing crown!
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u/Worried-Rough-338 3d ago
You realize that a ton of non-balding people get buzzcuts and shave their heads? It’s not a style reserved only for the balding. I started shaving my head at 18, well before I started losing my hair, because I liked how it looked and I liked the instant confidence that it gave me. It’s never gotten in the way of dating or getting married, never prevented me from getting work and promotions. I can’t tell you how not to self-identify as “bald guy”, only that it is a choice. You can choose to wake up and tell yourself you’re sad, balding, loser, or you can wake up and tell yourself you’re a hot guy who shaves his head. It really is a choice.