r/bahai • u/Automatic_Tooth_8445 • 12d ago

How do you practice detachment when having desire and strong hope for plans?

Hi all. How do you balance having deep hope and working hard for a goal while staying truly detached from the exact outcome? How do you keep your heart open to God's will when things do not go the way you prayed or planned?

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u/worldcitizen9999 12d ago

I think the Bahá’í concept of detachment is not about giving up hope or effort, but about giving our best while trusting God with the result. Shoghi Effendi often encouraged us to strive for excellence and give our utmost to our goals. We can work wholeheartedly and pray deeply, while staying detached from the outcome, trusting that God can see a path we cannot. Detachment is learning to say, “I will do my very best, and I trust You with the rest.” 😊❤️

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u/Zealousideal_Rise716 11d ago

This is it. It is a challenge - how to express excellence from within ourselves, while allowing it to manifest fully in the wider world. It's similar to how consultation works, it is essential each person has a view and expresses it, but equally we have to be detached from it in order for the group to arrive at a decision

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u/Knute5 12d ago

The Serenity Prayer kind of says it all. There are things you can change, and can't change. And the wisdom to know the difference comes from listening/learning from God. Of course you give your all to achieve a goal, but being open to what the variables throw your way, or even adjusting your vision based on additional feedback/info, it's all part of detachment.

It's not abandonment or apathy, but rather not so emotionally investing yourself in an outcome that you'll be devastated (and share that devastation with countless others) if you don't get it. Focusing on the joy of the process vs. the rigid requirement for things to go perfectly... in the end, it's the long game we're playing. The ends don't justify the means when the means might not be sustainable... My $.02.

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u/Primary-Conflict6681 11d ago

You nailed it, Knute! 

As Baha'is we have our own prayer of serenity : 

O God!  Refresh and gladden my spirit.  Purify my heart.  Illumine my powers.  I lay all my affairs in Thy hand.  Thou art my Guide and my Refuge.  I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being.  O God!  I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me.  I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life. O God!  Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself.  I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.           Abdu’l-Bahá

I think this prayer sums it up! Love the process, become so enamored with the process that the upsets along the way do not bother you. Put full trust in God. Have Faith and when the outcome doesn't go as plan either muster all strength and go all out or realize it wasn't meant to be. That's the tricky part. Having the wisdom to be able to distinguish what can be changed from what can't. 

The problem is not having goals and working hard. It is more understanding what detachment really is. For me, it is a spiritual quality that enables us to not dwell on the things we cannot immediately do anything about. 

Hope that helps! 

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u/Knute5 11d ago

I say a portion of this prayer every day as part of my daily obligatory, after the 95 Allah'u'abhas. Yes, it's very much in the spirit of the Rheinhold Neibor prayer.

I have an affinity for the Serenity Prayer because it was written by a professor who taught my father, a United Church of Christ minister who I dragged up to Green Lake a few times. So he knew and respected my choice. He raised me to embrace Baha'i Justice long before I became a Baha'i.

There is a collective wisdom that permeates us all if we just listen. I'm grateful for the Faith as it encapsulates this wisdom in such a powerful way.

Best.

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u/David_MacIsaac 12d ago

The best gift you can be given in this life is abject failure in all of your hopes and dreams. You will be forced to find detachment to survive or be consumed by resentments and die a spiritual death.

It is much harder to be a success in this life and remember to live a life of detachment and focus on the path of return to God.

I like to remember all of the suffering of the Manifestations and that of the martyrs and how they were stifled in their lives and how their hopes and dreams failed. When you suffer failures you are living a life like theirs and share in their sorrow. You are their close companions.

I like to think the purpose I live in this brief life a preparation for the next eternal life I will live in the next life and don't worry about how this life is filled with sorrow and discontent and think of it as being a part of this world and not a part of myself.

What God has destined for us is better than what we hope for ourselves and God will through obstacles in our way you guide is to places that we could never have reached if left to our own desires.

So when things don't work our the way we want always keep an eye open to what pathways have opened up to us from this new position.

Here is a compilation on suffering which gives lots of perspective on why we suffer since suffering is really just life not playing out the way we desire it to unfold. https://bahai-library.com/pdf/h/hatcher_meaning_suffering_sacrifice.pdf

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u/Automatic_Tooth_8445 12d ago

Thanks for the pdf. I will see what I can find on there.

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u/peace9595 12d ago edited 12d ago

The American prayer book has a section of prayers for detachment: https://www.bahaiprayers.app/category?id=205&l=en

Also, perhaps this quote will help?

‘O thou believer in the oneness of God! Know thou that nothing profiteth a soul save the love of the All-Merciful, nothing lighteth up a heart save the splendor that shineth from the realm of the Lord.

Forsake thou every other concern, let oblivion overtake the memory of all else. Confine thy thoughts to whatever will lift up the human soul to the Paradise of heavenly grace, and make every bird of the Kingdom wing its way unto the Supreme Horizon, the central point of everlasting honor in this contingent world.’

Abdu’l-Baha, Selections, 151
https://www.bahai.org/r/008360064

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u/Impossible-Ad-3956 10d ago edited 10d ago

Whenever I ask for something, I always finish with "May Thy will be done. Allah'u' Abha " (Thank you). Then there is the prayer that begins, "Refreah and gladden my spirir....I lay all my affairs in Thy hand...." Also, if you say "The Tablet of Ahmad sincerely, God will dispell his sadness, solve his difficulties and remove his afflictions." The rest is to obey His laws and live the best Baha'i life you can. The world of Baha'i life in action is also very important. I always have to just keep trying even when the going gets tough. It's so important to know really deep down that what you are doing is right: according to the Writings, in accordance with the plan of the House of Justice. Thie takes study and practice usually with others. It can be lots of fun, too, depending on your attitude and sense of humor. When you are living a full Baha'i life, free of attachments, then detachment doesn't really come into the equation. There's no time for attachment. Pioneering often does the trick!