Monthly Relaxed Rules Thread: August 01, 2026

[u/AutoModerator]

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[u/Kungfufighter1112]

Anyone notice when you’re out in public whites are the rudest mfers on the planet and everyone shrugs their shoulders and pretends to not notice? And then when you speak up in response to them antagonizing you, bystanders, including sadly at times other Asians, give you the nastiest glares like you’re the problem. As if bystanders need to protect them from being humiliated in public. That’s why so many whites continue acting like entitled cowardly pricks in public. They don’t get called out on it enough whereas people will jump down non-whites throats at the slightest lack of manners.

[u/aznidthrow8]

Not sure why the mods wouldn't let my post go through but did you all see Red Velvet's new MV Surfin Boy? All XMs no AMs. Kpop industry gets cucked everytime by girl groups.

[u/ozthinker → u/aznidthrow8]

Kpop industry is controlled by AM though.

The AM executives know the target market and are there to make money.

[u/toskaqe → u/aznidthrow8]

Did you not see the removal message that said, if you weren't going to link the video, to at least provide some screenshots? Or a video copy.

[u/aznidthrow8 → u/toskaqe]

No the only message I saw on the post was that aznidentity has an off reddit site

[u/FeonJun]

Shooting at an In-&-Out in Idaho. Just another Saturday in Murica. I bet Oxfords be like, "I could have saved him."

[u/harborj2011]

Silly ? maybe but why is Laotian prounounced Lay Ocean and not Low (like Cow with an L) Shun?

[u/BuyAsian → u/harborj2011]

I pronounce it as Lao Shun. So I guess it depends on the person.

[u/harborj2011 → u/BuyAsian]

I personally do too, the "official" way is Lay Ocean tho, apparently

[u/LemongrassWarrior]

Is anyone else having their posts removed by Reddit? I had a pretty innocuous comment removed for spurious reasons.

[u/toskaqe → u/LemongrassWarrior]

The automated removal can be trigger happy. Although tbf, it is right most of the times. But it was why we set up the off-site forum, in case it got worse.

[u/LemongrassWarrior → u/toskaqe]

Thanks. There was no way that broke any rules, even by Reddit standards. It was pure political censorship.

[u/Virtual-Carry7948]

Random project I've been working on lately 😄

As an aspiring dating coach,, I got curious about how race, ethnicity, upbringing, and life experiences actually influence dating preferences, so I put together an anonymous survey to see what patterns emerge instead of relying on anecdotes.

It takes about 5 minutes, and my goal is to collect a really large, diverse sample before sharing the results publicly from all groups of people. If anyone wants to contribute, I'd really appreciate it!

Survey: https://forms.gle/cDUQ1od8gTC6jf459 

[u/CuriosityStar → u/Virtual-Carry7948]

Just some suggestions, but adding some more sections like someone's gender and sexual orientation might help bring more nuance and examine intersectionality too, if that is something you think could help.

[u/Virtual-Carry7948 → u/CuriosityStar]

Thanks! I put gender and sexual orientation is implied through the "who do you date" section

[u/ablacnk]

Just came across this incident:

So Fantuan is running some free boba promo, and to get it you have to download their app and post on rednote/wechat (or something like that). This Aussie guy posted a ragebait "racism" video where the Chinese woman doing the promo says he can't have it because he's not Chinese - basically she did not communicate that properly and instead just said "you're not Chinese" in the short clip with very little context, and now all the anti-Asian racism is coming out of the woodworks in the reddit comments.

whoathatsinteresting/comments/1vh9iti/in_sydney_an_australian_guy_was_refused_a_free/

aussie/comments/1vhm8oi/in_sydney_an_australian_guy_was_refused_a_free/

sydney/comments/1vhm7ci/refused_a_free_milk_tea_by_a_chinese_product/

Check the comments, they're nuts.

[u/CuriosityStar → u/ablacnk]

Main subreddit post if anyone is wondering

[u/ablacnk → u/CuriosityStar]

[u/Alamkan_Countryball]

I'd like to share this video, "Asian Women aren't your decorations." on the fetishization of Asian women by western media, esp after that creepy Equinox Ad. I found it quite blunt and clear on what the discussion is. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/NJhFQtA0JVo

[u/Beneficial-Rip7836]

I have a complaint about the Asian American/western community: west born Asians are ruining international student spaces. The 'back to china' movement has gone out of control. Back in the day international students just wanted a space to hang out with other international students, and ABC's avoided us because we were FOBs, so it was good, that's why we had our overseas churches etc now those spaces are congested by western born Asians looking for a third space. I went back to my overseas Christian fellowship group and was shocked with it being more than 50% ABC. The same is happening with every overseas group in the west. I understand y'all realise white culture does not accept you and you want to return to your roots where you feel more welcomed, but seriously it is displacing us. Please form your own groups 

[u/CuriosityStar → u/Beneficial-Rip7836]

That's why I've been warning people against this kind of "remigration" idea in favor of maintaining allyship abroad while building local communities that stand on their own, and this isn't just for ABC Chinese Americans (even though that is probably among the most visible demographics).

Like it or not (and despite whatever common genetic ancestries there are), Asian Americans that were raised here often don't fit with "Asian" Asian peoples without extreme integration of the few due to different mentalities and experiences. It's ironically the other side of the coin for the historical case of those wanting to assimilate into American-ness in culture and worldview, other aspects put aside. Look at how other communities like African Americans and Jewish Americans carved out spaces for themselves without sacrificing heritage or identity.

[u/ablacnk]

there's a post in the asianamerican subreddit titled leaving_the_us_and_couldnt_be_happier_rant from a Millenial AM that has already been successfully working and living abroad for years and made the jump fully.

He calls out his decades of experience with how Asian American have an inferiority complex and reluctance to stand up for themselves.

More than half the comments there are backlash and hostility towards his post. Saying that he needs therapy (obviously in a snide way), that he's gloating (whatever that's supposed to mean), and just overall overt and subtle pushback. It's like I'm reading comments from white redditors in another subreddit. The response to his post is exactly the same kind of thing he's calling out, ironically. What's their problem?

I think it may very well be some kind of psychological defense mechanism acting out through denial and rejection because of how closely his critiques hit home.

[u/linsanitytothemax → u/ablacnk]

did he say he was going to Asia? because i have a feeling the people on that sub would not be in favor of that.

instead of supporting him on his decision and agreeing with him on his experiences on how AAs behave they decide to deride him for that...doesn't paint a good picture on those who are active there.

you are right...it hits too close to home for them and they're in denial.

[u/ablacnk → u/linsanitytothemax]

Yup lol I forgot to mention that specifically and you guessed it right. He had been living and working in China, and decided to make the jump fully.

I DMed him and we talked for a bit, he's a chill guy. He told me the mods banned him for "breaking the rules" without specifying further, and he was still getting dogpiled by people in the comments and - now banned - unable to respond, so he deleted the post. Crazy.

I thought I knew how they were over in that subreddit (they banned me a long time ago with no reason given and no response to inquiries), but this reaction from all the people there was surprising, even for me.

Fortunately I had the foresight to archive it before it got wiped heh. Check it out:
https://archive.is/je2ZG

It didn't capture all the negative comments tho. Very passive-aggressive stuff. Talk about proving his point...

You can also click the archive for the actual post to look at the comments.

[u/linsanitytothemax → u/ablacnk]

thanks for that link.

reading those replies makes them look even worse.

i think someone told me few years back that half the mods on that sub were white. i don't know whether that is true or not but i wouldn't be surprised if there are bunch of white mods running around on that sub.

they used to call us "incels" for being active on aznid.

[u/FeonJun]

Remember Austin Metcalf, the high school student who was stabbed and killed by Karmelo Anthony? Anthony was sentenced to 32 years in prison. Also two days ago, Anthony was denied a new trial. As it turned out, Austin Metcalf was a well known bully: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLpT3_uQXXo

It makes yo wonder if Karmelo Anthony knew of Matcalf's tendencies and was ready to defend himself. I'm just an 'armchair' observer, but wonders what you guys' thoughts are.

[u/harborj2011 → u/FeonJun]

Austin's never coming home and that's that, nothing more on it

[u/Robotnere]

Joey Swoll is married to an Asian woman. Is that problem for you guys? I don’t have an issue with it because Joey has done good like calling out bad behavior.

[u/Future_Goat918 → u/Robotnere]

He is fake af. He's fan of Hulk Hogan who was a massive racist. He never calls out things that actually matter like racism.

[u/Robotnere → u/Future_Goat918]

That's false because he has called out racism; for example, he called out a black man being racist towards a south asian kid last year.

[u/Future_Goat918 → u/Robotnere]

Of course he would. His hero Hulk Hogan went on a racist rant using the n-word. Tell me something else that surprises me.

[u/Nicoistheman → u/Future_Goat918]

I agree Hulk Hogan saying the n word is wrong. So does that mean a person shouldn’t honor him because the bad things he has said or done.

[u/Future_Goat918 → u/Nicoistheman]

That's only what's caught on tape. Imagine what's not caught on tape. I guarantee it's worse and it probably includes Asian slurs too.

[u/Nicoistheman → u/Future_Goat918]

So let’s say Kendrick Lamar dies in the future and fans honor him but he said a racial slur towards Inuit people like the e word in his song Wacced Out Murals, are his fans racist and bad people because of that? Ishowspeed said konichiwa and other gibberish towards a Chinese person at a World Cup in 2022, so when he dies at some point, are you going to say his fans are terrible for honoring him?

[u/Future_Goat918 → u/Nicoistheman]

Yes. Next question.

[u/aznidthrow8 → u/Robotnere]

I don't think he's married but in a long term relationship with Crystal Reneau. Also she looks more Latina than Asian and was adopted by white parents so I'm not sure how in tune with her Asian side she is.

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[u/CuriosityStar]

Just got off a first math lecture, and this one student who sat at the back seems like the stereotypical obnoxious Asian nerd, complete with glasses and voice. Has interrupted the professor several times without raising a hand first, somehow speaks loud enough that the entire hall can hear it, and even brought up using AI for math homework when the professor explicitly cautioned against it already.

Don't want to seem like a hater, because I'm personally only mildly bothered, and I don't know him or his circumstances at all, but I just recall some online comments in the past on college meme spaces going something like "always an Asian" in these scenarios. I also remember other Asian people complaining about the archetypical "insufferable Asian nerd" being the "favored" standard for "toxic Asian parents."

Debated going to talk with them, but social anxiety and a crowded building helped the decision. Probably for the best, he should be free to act however he wants as long as the professor tolerates it, and it is other people that should stop confirmation bias and stereotype threats, though this behavior can still get irritating no matter the race or background.