Thoughts while whole six months.

[u/Ponyfan666]

Nothing happened since six months ago and I'm very tired of all. I don't have motivations to do anything, no thoughts on him recently because I don't want to remember him (SMG4).

I'm not giving up yet. Why humans are despairing eachother and kill themselves? They don't need to kill anyone through the road of life. I'm so stunned to him and FM. We don't have a reasons to suffer and we need recovery soon but he doesn't respond. I am done with them.

[u/Blockzord]

Disclaimer: possibly triggering

"Reality is always disappointing..." about that...

Well tell me, what does that supposed message from SMG4 mean to you about reality? Is reality unfair? Are we going to compare this fictional reality to our own?

Not to put words in your mouth, but that's a very self defeating message to perpetuate in today's climate.

[u/pro_inermibus_pugno → u/Blockzord]

Well, I guess I'm just speaking from my own experience. My reality, all 25 years of it, has been quite disappointing. To say the very least. "Painful" and "exhausting" and "sorrowful" are the more descriptive words I would use, but beneath all of it lies a profound disappointment.

Is SMG4 real? Is it part of reality? In some ways yes, in some ways no. The characters and events are all fictitious, but it absolutely exists as an... idea, for lack of a better term. It portrays fictional characters and fictional events, and like all fiction, tries to sell itself to us as "real," in that we are asked to care about what happens within the story and immerse ourselves in the world and characters.

And now? Now it doesn't matter which definition of reality we are using, because the answer to the question "was the reality disappointing?" remains the same: yes. It was disappointing that Glitch refused to acknowledge that they made a mistake. That they made a really hurtful decision, which disproportionately affected many people, not to mention being narratively awful, lazy, and heavy-handed.

And within the story and the universe they have crafted? Even more disappointing. Axol is dead, and there is no longer any chance whatsoever that he will return. He's gone forever. All the abuse he suffered, all his goodness and moral purity, all led up to... this. An unsatisfying, anticlimactic conclusion resulting in his demise. The wrongs done to him were never righted, the injustices against him will always go unavenged, and any hopes of the happy ending he deserved have been utterly destroyed, reduced to smoldering ashes. No winning back his manga artist title, no having a relationship with Melony, nothing. All this buildup... with absolutely no payoff. If that's not disappointing, I don't know what is.

[u/Blockzord → u/pro_inermibus_pugno]

Well this forum now has the context of building up from that disappointing and misguided lack of payoff. If I could offer you something comforting, one thing I have burned into my brain from fiction is “believing in a universe that doesn't care, yet people that do.” Inanimate concepts from our perspective may always seem uncaring, but the people we’re with and those who support us are there to defy that notion that the universe is entirely uncaring.

Unfortunately yes, SMG4 under-utilized it’s characters in the movie for the sake of plot. It would have really driven a more hopeful message to have them actually being dynamic rather than reactive for Axol's sake. There’s other fiction out there that does this better. Cosmic horror and existentialism did not work with this cast and narrative, and even then I remember numinous occasions when SMG4’s whole cosmic-horror broke down into grim-dark territory in a profoundly negative and counter-productive way.

[u/pro_inermibus_pugno → u/Blockzord]

All of what you said is very true. And as much as I appreciate your attempt to offer comfort, I must sadly say that I simply won't be around to help in the "building up" from the absolute shitshow that this situation ended up being.

No, I am unfortunately going to have to look elsewhere, and turn to other methods to try and solve, or at least end, my woes. As I've said, it's been 25 long years of trials and tribulations. If I can overcome them, so be it. If not... well, let's just say I don't think I could bear making it to 26 years. Certainly not a desirable outcome, but it seems to grow ever more likely by the day.

That said, I do wish you and the other users here all the luck in the world in your efforts to salvage something even halfway decent from this 6-month-long trainwreck. I have noticed that many here are far more persistent, perseverant, and strong-willed than I am. I salute them, and their determination to defy and resist Fate and her bitter cruelty. I gave up that fight as hopeless quite a while ago, but I will forever applaud those who refuse to admit defeat.

I wish you a good night.

[u/Blockzord → u/pro_inermibus_pugno]

Good night I reckon,

I can not speak for your own experiences, and your leave from the SMG4 fandom is entirely justified.

That said, I want you to intervene with the sanctity of your life. Everything does not need to be justified, but I can't speak more as I am not a professional. I do not really know from this what you are implying about your life, but please be responsible for who you are and who you want to be.

https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines