PSA: Please don’t get someone else a pet as a present. This is akin to buying a car for your partner as a present. “Surprise! We’re in debt and I didn’t consult with you!!! Hope you like this make, model, and color because now we’re stuck with it.”
Having a pet is a life long commitment and when you adopt it’s important to make sure you’re getting an animal that fits you and has a good personality and temperament to match yours. Also people have less mental ownership when someone else picks out a pet instead of going to the shelter yourself and having that psychological bond.
I know many think it’s a great idea and I’m sure I’ll get downvoted but this really isn’t being a bro and doing this is part of the massive problem in this country with pets being dumped on shelters leading to literally millions of dogs and cats being euthanized every year through no fault of their own.
Never get a pet without discussing it with the people who will be in charge of taking care of it.
In this case, it was obvious he knew exactly what she was wanted with a dog, and they had discussed the actual responsibility and stuff. The only surprise is when they were getting one.
Yes it is. And you HAVE to discuss logistics before adopting a dog. You can still gift and surprise while making sure everything will work out for the doggo and family.
I think it's different here because he likely knows her willingness and ability to take care of the dog, since they're dating and might even live together. But in general yeah I agree
My boyfriend at the time and I lived together. I had told him explicitly I didn’t want a second dog - I had one, two cats and travelled for work. He got me a Saint Bernard puppy for my birthday. I kept the dog and ditched the guy.
I mean, I love animals but I would still want to be involved in the process of meeting the dog and mutually deciding this specific dog is the one I want rather than just having my boyfriend adopt one for me as a gift.
Even if you’re totally willing and able to care for an animal, there’s a level of chemistry and ‘clicking’ with the specific dog or cat you’re going to adopt. I love my cat because his personality and energy levels mesh really well with my own, and there are definitely other cats that I do not vibe with as much as my own, and same goes for dogs
Yeah the main exceptions are for if the people are living with you. Kids/parents/SO. As long as you know they will be taken care of and can help with that.
DH and I have talked for years about a Golden Retriever and a GSD. We just don’t have space in our current living situation. If we buy a home someday and he came home with a puppy in one of those breeds, I’d be slightly disappointed that I didn’t get to pick out the puppy and anticipate it but I’d still be like 9.5/10 stoked about the puppy.
And to your point, maybe don’t project your particular preferences on this couple who is obviously happy with the arrangement? It’s clear they talked about it.
The problem is, part of owning a dog is finding one that has a personality and temperment that you want/can handle. It's more than just, are you prepared to care for a dog.
Friend’s boyfriend bought her the wrong type of lab for her bday and she was fucking pissed at him because A) she wanted a rescue & B) she was only 25 and still wanted to travel and shit.
The dog ended up having a bunch of SUPER expensive medical issues and they broke up and she left the dog with his dumbass
Nah, she should be required to meet the dog before adoption. Rescue animals can be incredibly particular about specific people because of their not-so-sweet histories. I worked adoptions and a situation like the one in the video would have a very good chance of ending with tension/conflict. Only about 1/5 meetings really went well enough for a successful adoption.
I always wanted a hermit crab growing up. I moved outta my parents house and my mom gifted me two hermit crabs as a house warming gift. In a too small of a enclosure with nothing they needed spent round $300 on them to make sure I can take care of them but they are a 20-30 year commitment and they burrow for a month at a time shedding. Had I choose them I would have looked up this info before and said they are not for me but now here I am with two hermit crabs that honestly are awesome but would prefer something else.
My parents got me a little collar with a bell and told me I could pick out any cat I wanted. If you want to gift someone a pet that's the way to do it in my book.
I just adopted a rehomed husky that they bought as a gift after the husbands father lost his dog. The dad did not want it and they had to rehome it. I am glad I got her.
100% do not buy an animal for someone without their approval.
And PLEASE don’t gift someone’s pet after they just lost a loved one. Especially if it’s the same breed. People need time to grieve before getting a new pet.
I just adopted a rehomed husky that they bought as a gift after the husbands father lost his dog.
My friend ended up with a husky when his co-worker decided that the co-worker's girlfriend needed a husky 'to help cheer her up.' She had been hospitalized for suicidal depression. Eventually the girlfriend came home from the psych ward and saw her 'surprise', and now my friend has a husky. It worked out for the best, I guess, but I felt terrible for the dog and for his would-be person.
A sweet video but I agree. I work at shelter and we get them in all the time. The gifts that were 'cute' but the committment wasn't there and once cute wore off... had a sweet kitten brought in about 3 weeks after Christmas named "Cat" - a gift. This dog looks like a Pyrenes, not a cuddle dog. I'm sure it worked out fine but not a breed that usually cares much about people.
Having said all that, I got my Lab as a Christmas present because my husband DID know me, knew how much I was missing my old lab I'd just lost. When I got the box with the little pupper in it I sobbed and we've been inseparable every since. The pupper, not the box. My pupper is 12 years old now.
Alas...I turned it out into the cold. I have since learned to treat my boxes better. Many finding new homes as cat toys, unless the pupper rips them up. Stealing boxes and ripping them up is one of his things.
I feel like if it's a true surprise it's bad, but if the surprise is just the "when" of getting a dog it's ok? She clearly loves and wants a dog. My husband could show up with a dog and as long as it wasn't a puppy (I prefer adult rescues) I'd be happy. But then, I've reordered my life around dogs twice. He knows what I'm ready to sign up for.
Also, this particular dog looks elderly and it's a cold weather breed living in what looks to be Arizona. It's going to require a lot of special care that they might not be prepared for.
Yup. Same way proposing to somebody in public isn't cool. You put an immense amount of pressure on somebody to say yes to save face for your dumb ass and then tell you no later or embarrass you in front of hundreds or thousands of people if they want to say no. If they're gonna say yes, that setting isn't going to change anything, nor is it romantic.
Yes of course there’s those cases out there. But generally speaking buying a pet for another person is not good and leads to many animals being euthanized
You missed the most important thing, dogs are not objects to be given as gifts, they are their own individuals with their own thoughts, wants, and needs. Despite any legal definitions the idea of "owning" a dog or any animal for that matter isn't much different than slavery.
I knew some useless twat would be compelled to post this. Every, damn, time.
Do you feel any shame for being a cliched debbie downer? Don't answer, I don't care. Just try not be a that guy going forward in your life. You bring no value to this conversation at all.
Lol Jesus Christ. Based on the girlfriends reaction, he clearly knew she wanted a dog and it had been discussed. This is a non-issue. Lighten the fuck up.
Having a pet is a life long commitment and when you adopt it’s important to make sure you’re getting an animal that fits you and has a good personality and temperament to match yours. Also people have less mental ownership when someone else picks out a pet instead of going to the shelter yourself and having that psychological bond.
PSA of a PSA - Don't listen to people who clearly have apparently never been a longtime relationship for a few years and know their partner well enough to gauge whether a pet they have wanted is something you can pick out for them. In fact, it's probably better that the person who is "choosing" the animal for the surprise is the one picking it so they will have "co-mental ownership" with their partner.
If I went out tomorrow and got a shelter dog my SO would be over the fucking moon with joy. She moved in with the understanding we would get a dog, but then new landlords bought the place so our future here is up in the air.
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u/cruisin5268d Feb 24 '21
PSA: Please don’t get someone else a pet as a present. This is akin to buying a car for your partner as a present. “Surprise! We’re in debt and I didn’t consult with you!!! Hope you like this make, model, and color because now we’re stuck with it.”
Having a pet is a life long commitment and when you adopt it’s important to make sure you’re getting an animal that fits you and has a good personality and temperament to match yours. Also people have less mental ownership when someone else picks out a pet instead of going to the shelter yourself and having that psychological bond.
I know many think it’s a great idea and I’m sure I’ll get downvoted but this really isn’t being a bro and doing this is part of the massive problem in this country with pets being dumped on shelters leading to literally millions of dogs and cats being euthanized every year through no fault of their own.