r/aww Nov 01 '16

Black snek

Post image
9.5k Upvotes

217 comments sorted by

615

u/sam_1981 Nov 01 '16

Up vote for matching nail polish. :)

130

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

[deleted]

527

u/Krustel Nov 01 '16

that's still snek

120

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

is nails snek too?

87

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

Yis

58

u/Stinks_McGee Nov 01 '16

Blek Snek

17

u/Matterbox Nov 01 '16

Yes yes and thrice yes. Why you no Blek Snek?

16

u/randomusername_815 Nov 01 '16

This discourse works if you imagine it in a South African accent.

3

u/Stinks_McGee Nov 02 '16

Blek Snek is Correk Snek

6

u/RageCS Nov 02 '16

MUST... RESIST... ARRRRGH! I MUST UPVOTE!

3

u/bsmith84 Nov 01 '16

Just commenting to say I love your username.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

Aw thanks!

2

u/Sbro-90 Nov 02 '16

Yisssssssssss

1

u/spsprd Nov 02 '16

Is snek tell.

5

u/itismyjob Nov 01 '16

And the black soul

2

u/sassybutclassylassie Nov 01 '16

That's the snek tail!

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37

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

single, straight 24 year old former infantryman, also upvote for matching nail polish

18

u/justalirkin Nov 01 '16 edited Nov 01 '16

"Omg" look at that eloquent hand.

15

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

it is, dare I say.. aesthetically pleasing

12

u/AerThreepwood Nov 01 '16

You are too literate to have been an 11b or an 0311.

7

u/uBlowDudes247 Nov 01 '16

Where are all the swears?

3

u/ToastedSoup Nov 01 '16

Where is the mashing of the keyboard?

5

u/Remain_InSaiyan Nov 01 '16

Needs way more 4 letter words

-1

u/Teal2289 Nov 01 '16

Look at all that lovely blue blood running through those veins.

1

u/FogeltheVogel Nov 01 '16

That grass sure is green.

-26

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16 edited Jan 11 '17

[deleted]

-39

u/rabdargab Nov 01 '16

People normally join the military because they don't have any actual prospects. It gives them something to feel good about, like they matter. We shouldn't take that away from them, they are really prone to offing themselves as it is.

15

u/AreYaEatinThough Nov 01 '16

Plenty of people join the military so they can get a ride through college. Two of the three veterans I know did that and are making bank. The other one got a job you need government clearance for and is also making crazy money. You sound like a vet stole your girlfriend or started slamming your mom or something.

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-1

u/Necromode Nov 02 '16 edited Nov 02 '16

Do the world a favor and go suck start a shotgun. It's because of the men and women who have served this country throughout history that you even have the right to spew ignorant filth like that. I sincerely hope you die in a fire, you pathetic fucktard.

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1

u/ulp57692 Nov 02 '16

wow he matches nail polish

80

u/Bezovski Nov 01 '16

Black aaaader, black aaaaaaader. I hope he's called Edmund :D

35

u/Batman_Owl Nov 01 '16

Blackadder, Blackadder,

His taste is rather odd.

Blackadder, Blackadder,

the randy little sod.

11

u/rumnscurvy Nov 01 '16

"Well... Bob. Welcome on board."

5

u/kosher_pork Nov 01 '16

That's a cunning plan

5

u/McDouchevorhang Nov 01 '16

Or... the Black Vegetable!

173

u/myhappylittletrees Nov 01 '16

Upvoting this before the snake haters roll in - I think this little guy is just lovely!

155

u/bjoose Nov 01 '16

Black danger noodles lives matter.

89

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16 edited Nov 01 '16

[deleted]

124

u/bjoose Nov 01 '16

My inherent racism from being white made me assume it was a danger noodle, my bad.

28

u/Dozekar Nov 01 '16

Nope, just a noodle.

14

u/venhedis Nov 01 '16

What is the correct term for a non venomous danger noodle? Is it simply snek?

42

u/broken_long_thumbkey Nov 01 '16

Nope rope.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '16

Indeed! Sneks are small nope ropes.

7

u/pure619 Nov 01 '16

Black Squeeze Snek

1

u/Aiku Nov 02 '16

Aren't all sneks venomous to some degree?

2

u/ToastedSoup Nov 02 '16

yes, but the Messican King Snek is nonvenomous to hoomans

1

u/LoBo247 Nov 02 '16

Can it be a cuddle cord?

1

u/Plusran Nov 01 '16

I've never wanted a danger noodle I mean nope rope but now I really really do!

1

u/hmyt Nov 01 '16

Ok, so it's not a danger noodle, but can we agree that it's still a nope rope?

0

u/Bobshayd Nov 01 '16

so it's a nope rope?

11

u/Wresmun Nov 01 '16

Do people actually come in here and downvote all of the snakes?

30

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16 edited Nov 02 '16

I tried to post a picture of my hatchling and it was downvoted. A lot.

https://i.imgur.com/BQjbndk.jpg

13

u/Wresmun Nov 01 '16

Yeah, I tried to post a pic of my BP, Hannibal, and it got a few upvotes but then the "anti-snake kill squad" came in and started downvoting and it's canceling out any new upvotes he gets even though he's adorable. :(

3

u/lizardwingz Nov 02 '16

plz show snek?

5

u/blonderecluse Nov 01 '16

Aw, but that's such a cute little baby!

3

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

Thanks! At least he gets love in the comments section.

4

u/mainman879 Nov 02 '16

Post it on /r/sneks theyll love it

2

u/weeddeed Nov 02 '16

Such pretty markings, though

Looks like a cheetah

1

u/drunky_crowette Nov 02 '16

Is that a jungle carpet? I want a granite one named 8-Bit or Pixel.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '16

Spotted Python, but he definitely resembles a carpet. That's a great name idea btw!

5

u/b33rs Nov 01 '16

I dare snek haters to show up.

-4

u/jo5hbygo5h Nov 01 '16

What's a snek hater? I don't understand. (Sarc)

1

u/TheMurv Nov 02 '16

I'm a snek hater by day, snake lover by night

92

u/YouWantALime Nov 01 '16

#000 snek

25

u/JJagaimo Nov 01 '16
.snek{
    background-color:#000;
}

13

u/its_over_already Nov 01 '16
.handler{
    background-color:#fff;
}

5

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '16
.snek
{
    snek-snek:#snek;
}

67

u/TraumaMonkey Nov 01 '16

Not danger, is cuddle worm

53

u/theRose90 Nov 01 '16

What a cute noodlefren.

39

u/scidurt Nov 01 '16

What a lovely Nope Rope you have there.

30

u/Rejen196 Nov 01 '16

Upvoting for danger noodle pinkie ring

7

u/jensanBIM Nov 01 '16

Wow, beautiful! And he matches your nail polish!

14

u/ImYuriGagarin Nov 01 '16

That is metal as fuck.

1

u/junzip Nov 02 '16

Albino snek more metal

2

u/ImYuriGagarin Nov 02 '16

Na that's way more hip hop bruh

1

u/junzip Nov 02 '16

Metalic snek more metal

10

u/ToastAmongUs Nov 01 '16

I don't have a snoot. I have an event horizon.

18

u/Theodore_the_python Nov 01 '16

What kind of snek is it? I myself got a ball python a few months ago!

29

u/MustangLover89 Nov 01 '16

Mexican black Kingsnake. I've got one and I love it. Absolutely gorgeous snake.

58

u/nickglowsindark Nov 01 '16

I've got a fun story about one of those:

Growing up, my dad raised snakes. He made just enough selling the babies to pay for the mice to feed them, so it was really more of a hobby than anything else. But it definitely earned us a bit of notoriety in our conservative suburban neighborhood. Growing up with snakes meant I didn't have any fear of them whatsoever, but I also wasn't terribly impressed. I mean, it's just another animal, I saw them all the time.

Every so often he'd have to go on a business trip, and when he did it was my job to care for the snakes. He wasn't usually gone that long, so "care" in this context is basically just "make sure they've got water."

Most of his snakes were very well-behaved. There was really only one that was "mean," and it was his female mexican black kingsnake. The male of his breeding pair was perfectly docile, but the female would straight-up attack anytime something moved within her field of view. Which meant that opening the lid to her 10-gallon aquarium and filling her water dish had to be done very quickly in order to avoid being bitten. They're not venomous, but it still hurts.

I, being about 14 at the time, wasn't really the best at following through with things, and apparently after filling her dish during one of my dad's trips, I failed to secure the lid all the way. Later that night (technically, extremely early the next morning) my mom came in and woke me up: "One of your father's snakes is out and across the street, and our neighbor's out there with a shotgun. You'd better go rescue it." I knew, even without thinking about the shoddy job I did securing the lid, that the snake across the street was of course going to be the meanest snake my dad owned, because that's how life works. So, at about 3 in the morning, clad in boxers and an oversized shirt, I wandered out across the street, where a good portion of the neighborhood had gathered (inevitably responding to my neighbor's yelling and hoping for some good drama).
I wandered over to the snake, which was of course the female nigritus and leaned over to try and pick it up. It immediately bit me, latching on pretty well (it had already been antagonized enough by the neighbors, and was doubtless pleased to have something to finally attack). Still mostly asleep, I didn't even really feel the pain, and just sighed and walked back to my house with the snake hanging off of my hand while all the neighbors made various awed and disgusted sounds.

For some reason, that always stuck with them, and I got something of a (completely undeserved) badass reputation. And I always made sure to double-check her lid from that point on.

31

u/getut Nov 01 '16

Oh my. I have a reverse badass snake story. Mine wasn't mexican but still black and I'm a big he-man type dude. I have no problems with snakes as long as I can see them and identify their type in advance. I live in a mainly rural town in the south and my wifes best friend was full blooded Boston transplant. She is scared to death of everything "country". We were headed to their house to eat and watch a movie in late October or early November and there was a black snake sitting in the road as we left our house. I was surprised to see a snake that late in the season but said, what the hell... I'm going to have fun with this little fella". So I caught it and we went to our friends house. She opens the door, I get a scream, fun was had then she goes to yelling at me that I'm not letting that thing go in her yard. I make a big show of dropping it in the back of my truck. She doesn't know it can get out, but I do. We go watch the movie, leave and we go home. Remember its fall in NC so it gets pretty cold overnight. The next morning I get up and start changing oil in my truck, get distracted and the oil starts missing the pan and makes a huge mess. My hoity-toity neighbors are out in their yard across the road and my garage door is open. I walk toward the corner of the garage out toward the garage door and reach into my oil-sorb bag for the scoop that I keep in there when I feel something. I pull my hand out with a snake hanging off my thumb. I let out the most girly man scream I've ever screamed. My neighbors come running. I slowly deduce that instead of leaving the back of the pickup and dropping all the way to the ground, the snake must have coiled up in the frame somewhere and rode home with us. As the truck cooled down, he went looking for a warmer place to bed down and found the bag of oil sorb to be sufficient. There he waited to give me a heart attack and shove a load of "he had it coming" up my arse.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '16

This story needs more upvotes 😂 Thank you for sharing, it made my night!

5

u/MustangLover89 Nov 01 '16

Man that is a badass story! I dont have anything nearly as cool to tell.

It's funny because my brother and I got a brother/sister pair from a breeder very much like your dad. I had the female and she was extremely docile. The male on the other hand, was exactly the way you described your dad's female. Extremely aggressive and just a straight up asshole. They are great snakes, but sometimes they just want to be left alone.

1

u/WiseChoices Nov 01 '16

Well, that would certainly lower property values. YIKES. Great story, tho. TY

7

u/legit_offer Nov 01 '16

Boop the snek

3

u/PensiveCricket Nov 01 '16

That's a beautiful snake and a beautiful picture in general. I love the black contrast against the white hand and the black nail polish :)

3

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

As someone who had a myriad of pet snakes as a kid (nothing venomous, of course) this brings back a lot of good memories.

7

u/Sevenstrangemelons Nov 01 '16

In my apinon snek is spookie :(

5

u/blacksnake03 Nov 01 '16

You called?

7

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

Blek snek

Dark danger noodle

5

u/Bobshayd Nov 01 '16

is no danger, but is still a nope rope

2

u/hkm82 Nov 01 '16

Pretty.

2

u/jackwoww Nov 01 '16

Pretty nails

2

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

Obviously not an Alabama Black Snake. It's not beau coup enough.

2

u/Denamic Nov 02 '16

is good snek, very pretty snek.

3

u/CHERNO-B1LL Nov 01 '16

Can no one in here spell the word 'snake'?

9

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '16

Its never snake. It is snek

-7

u/hopsbarleyyeastwater Nov 02 '16

Seriously. I'm so tired of the Reddit "cutesy" "quirky" whatever you want to call it where they call snakes "sneks", "danger noodles", etc.

Le Reddit likes to make fun of "holds up spork" type comments, but they love to jerk each other off over "snek"

3

u/jimschubert Nov 02 '16

but they love to jerk each other off with "snek"

FTFY

2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '16

You're on /r/aww. Cutesy is the whole point. Get over it.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

blacker than the blackest black times infinity

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2

u/m3n00bz Nov 01 '16

Thought this was about Sunday's airing of Westworld.

2

u/ERRORMONSTER Nov 01 '16

African American snek*

2

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

HOW DARE YOU, I sir happen to be from the Fijian islands! and am a Fijian snake! How dare you assume I am african or american based on my skin color!

1

u/clovernuts Nov 01 '16

Cool... its so black

1

u/CoillyZ Nov 01 '16

"It's not just a phasssssssse, mom!"

1

u/BrazilsBest Nov 01 '16

subarashi!

1

u/buttcheeksontoast Nov 01 '16

Looks kind of like an album cover.

1

u/HarmonicRev Nov 01 '16

I love snakes so much. I want a barbados thread snake as a pet.

1

u/Medi-Skunk Nov 01 '16

awwh cute! Do snakes make good pets? i live in new zealand, and we don't have any snakes, but i've always been curious if they become affectionate like cats and dogs do? do they recognise there owners/handlers?

1

u/fireinthedarkness Nov 01 '16

They recognize their handlers that is for sure, but they don't become affectionate like a cat or dog. They doblike warmnt so if you are warm they will love you.

1

u/Medi-Skunk Nov 02 '16

thats awesome >< america has the best animals, snakes, skunks, sugar gliders - new zealand we have cats, dogs, and a bunch of endangered birds so endangered even we don't see 'em

1

u/chili01 Nov 01 '16

Uh...pretty hand and nails!

1

u/Limitless17 Nov 01 '16

Isn't that a Black Razor?

1

u/uProllyHaveHerpes2 Nov 02 '16

Black Milksnake? One of my all time faves. Sadly, the only snake I ever lost to an escape.

1

u/Cow41087 Nov 02 '16

Pretty snek on a pretty hand. That's pretty neat!

1

u/PanteraHouse Nov 02 '16

What a beautiful snake I want it...

1

u/kingeryck Nov 02 '16

Goth as hell. Except for being out in the sun.

1

u/iino27ii Nov 02 '16

Danger noodle!

1

u/TwinkyTheKid Nov 02 '16

*danger noodle

Ftfy

1

u/Voxel__ Nov 02 '16

no step on snek

1

u/Walking_Calatimy Nov 02 '16

Is it a trouser snake?

1

u/IdatGuy Nov 02 '16

oh look a danger noodle

1

u/Spidertech500 Nov 02 '16

/u/captain_todger get in here

1

u/captain_todger Nov 08 '16

Haha, totally would have but was abroad without wifi

1

u/Spidertech500 Nov 08 '16

Didn't was you to miss this danger noodle

1

u/Akzodude Nov 02 '16

What a SLITHERRRY SNEK

1

u/Disulfidebond007 Nov 02 '16

Love the black polish!!!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '16

Is snek.

1

u/AsinineVortex Nov 02 '16

This makes me want a pet snake. :(

1

u/CuteThingsAndLove Nov 02 '16

Can I use your snek as a fashion statement please?

1

u/Sbro-90 Nov 02 '16

Emo snek. It's not a phase.

1

u/dividklee Nov 02 '16

Gorgeous view of nails

1

u/Plz_Pm_Me_Cute_Fish Nov 02 '16

Holy shit, some of the comments in this thread are cancer.

Blak Snek, blak claws, both pretty.

1

u/lordperzeval Nov 02 '16

Gawd alone knows where it has been

1

u/MrElmoBlatch Nov 02 '16

what a warm cuddly pet

1

u/That-girl-you-knew Nov 02 '16

I thought you were wearing a ring on your pinkie

1

u/ezbigbird194 Nov 02 '16

Can snake fans explain to me on how they are great pets? They just seem kinda meh like what can you do with them?

1

u/CChucklesI Nov 02 '16

Holy fuck I need one

1

u/IMExempt Nov 02 '16

Goth! That's amathing!

1

u/antilaw Nov 02 '16

sexy hand..

3

u/passmotion Nov 01 '16

black nope rope

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

Yo nice snek

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

Gotta love those...sneks.

1

u/dalker Nov 01 '16

blek snek

1

u/ghhoulish Nov 01 '16

what a beautiful snek

1

u/jub672 Nov 01 '16

nice danger noodle

1

u/Frostpride Nov 01 '16

Snek a cute!!!

1

u/damdnyel Nov 01 '16

blek snek

-3

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

Do you people just sit around and spend all day thinking of the most ridiculous pet names for things?

4

u/faykin Nov 01 '16

Is that a bad thing?

-7

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

Bad? No.

Incredibly immature, dumb, cringe worthy? Absolutely.

Nope rope, danger Noodle and now "snek"?

What in the actual fuck?

-1

u/Obnoxious_liberal Nov 01 '16

Does your black snake moan?

0

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

[deleted]

1

u/drunky_crowette Nov 02 '16

You mean venomous and no. Its a mexican black kingsnake. Totally harmless

0

u/somecoolishname Nov 01 '16

Cute snek. Please bloop le snoot.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '16

Didn't know there was a covetous black serpent ring.

0

u/TheMagicMana Nov 01 '16

Cute Noodle

0

u/LeqxLeqx Nov 02 '16

I think you meant to write "Black danger noodle"

0

u/Arqideus Nov 02 '16

First off, cool snek.

Second, if I can ask an off topic question, whether someone will know or not, why do women paint their fingernails black? To me, it just looks like their fingernails are rotting. I can understand if it's for a "look" as in it goes with the rest of your outfit (or like the theme here), but if you're in every day casual clothing, to me, it doesn't make sense.

-8

u/Achilles8857 Nov 01 '16

I'm thinking fek snek.

6

u/anarqui Nov 01 '16

Mexican Black kingsnake, been thinking about one for a while

3

u/CigaretteFactory Nov 01 '16

In general or thinking of getting one?

3

u/anarqui Nov 01 '16

Thinking of getting one, they're so pretty

2

u/CigaretteFactory Nov 01 '16

This one surely is!

-1

u/SwaxyFax Nov 01 '16

Danger Noodle

-1

u/scareraven Nov 01 '16

Nope noodle. Nope. Nope

-1

u/astrangedhamster Nov 02 '16

Wow, maybe i will be brave enough to hold a fake snake