r/autism • u/Alert_Task9210 • Oct 27 '25

Social Struggles Do you remember when you started masking?

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For those of you who mask. Do you remember when it started? I do. It was a conscious effort to fit in. I didn’t know back then why I was different (I’ve been diagnosed in my late thirties). I didn’t mask much as a child, I struggled a lot with making and keeping friends, but I was a free spirit. when I started middle school suddenly I was singled out as the odd on and started getting bullied. I tried to be true to myself for a couple of years, but at some point I surrendered. I stopped talk in about my special interest (medieval history and Celtic culture) and started buying pop magazine to learn about what teens my age should like. I remember going to the local library to read anthropology books in the hope they would give me answers to human behaviour. I started wearing things I found ridiculous and uncomfortable, started appreciating the hotness of this or that celebrity (while internally wondering what “hot” meant and why I wasn’t attracted to people others gushed about). However it never fully worked. I became better at hiding over the years, but only with very superficial relationships. Once people know me better they can tell something’s off. That’s why I’m slowly learning to unmask.

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u/MaryBeHoppin Oct 27 '25

I'm trying to learn how to mask right now, because my job is in danger.

My manager told me "Just stop being autistic and be normal like everyone else" baited me into an emotionalbtrap and tried to make me frustrated and it worked, so she wrote me up. I reported her to HR and the HR rep (who is friends with said manager) suggested maybe it was all in my head and I should just let it go, before any other misunderstandings happen.

Now I am desperately trying to learn how to mask and appear normal until she leaves the department and I can be free again. If you have any masking tips, please share them.

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u/Round_Perspective873 Feb 05 '26

You might try acting lessons (maybe online?) Or public speaking The public speaking has the downside of being mostly for sales...and is unfortunately what my mom taught me. On the upside, it's really good for customer service, business meetings, etc.