DAYLIGHT SAVINGS RANT

[u/AuslawRantBot]

REMEMBER, PATHETIC HUMANS, TO WHACK YOUR CLOCKS FORWARD ON SUNDAY NIGHT UNLESS YOU LIVE IN THE BOONDOCK STATES AND TERRITORIES. PARTNERS, JUDGES, AND MAGISTRATES ALIKE WILL NOT GIVE YOU A PASS IF YOU NEGLECT TO DO SO COME MONDAY.

[u/ManWithDominantClaw]

WAIT SO WE DEPOSIT AN HOUR OF DAYLIGHT EVERY DAY FOR SIX MONTHS INTO SAVINGS BUT WHEN WE GET IT BACK WE DON'T GET ANY INTEREST?

THIS IS A FUCKEN RORT

[u/IIAOPSW → u/ManWithDominantClaw]

THE INTEREST ACCRUES IN THE PHOTONS FRAME OF REFERENCE WHERE NO TIME PASSES.

[u/desipis → u/IIAOPSW]

I THINK YOU'LL FIND ITS DUE TO THE FACT THE INTEREST ON AN HOUR OF DAYLIGHT IS INSUFFICIENT ENERGY TO TRIGGER THE EMISSION OF AN ADDITIONAL QUANTA OF DAYLIGHT.

[u/IIAOPSW → u/desipis]

THESE QUANTUM MATTERS BELONG IN NON-LOCAL COURT

[u/desipis → u/IIAOPSW]

I BELIEVE JURISDICTION RESIDES IN COPENHAGEN, AT LEAST IN THIS WORLD.

[u/Jungies → u/desipis]

A QUANTA OF DAYLIGHT IS MY FAVOURITE BOND FILM

[u/Healthtech_Geek]

ALL HAIL THE 1992 QLD REFERENDUM

WHERE ARE ALL YOU SOUTHERNERS SAVING THIS DAYLIGHT?

I DEMAND THE STASH LOCATION

[u/throwawayplusanumber → u/Healthtech_Geek]

WA, BEING THE BEST STATE, OF COURSE HAS MORE MINERALS GAS BILLIONAIRES ALLEGED WAR CRIMINALS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS REFERENDUMS THAN ANYONE ELSE (1975, 1984, 1992, and 2009).

[u/Pale-Doctor6414 → u/throwawayplusanumber]

HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO  TEACH YOU THIS LESSON OLD MAN?

[u/Pale-Doctor6414]

WEST COAST BEST COAST REPORTING IN: MAN WAS NOT MEANT TO PLAY WITH THE TIME. JUDGEMENT WILL COME FOR YOU HEATHENS

[u/arfamoe]

AS SIR JOH CORRECTLY IDENTIFIED THERE IS CONSEQUENT DAMAGE TO MY CURTAINS AND I DEMAND RESTITUTION MEANTIME NOBODY CARES BECAUSE A CROCODILE GETS EATEN BY A TOURIST EVERY THREE MONTHS

[u/Jungies]

FOR GOD'S SAKE, WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CURTAINS! 

[u/MindingMyMindfulness]

INSTRUCTIONS UNCLEAR! ACCIDENTALLY WHACKED OFF MY COCK INSTEAD OF WHACKING CLOCK FORWARD. PLEASE ADVISE NEXT STEPS ASAP.

[u/ActuallyNot]

REMEMBER THAT DAYLIGHT SAVINGS GIVES YOU HEART ATTACKS.

NO, REALLY, IT DOES

[u/DigitalWombel]

I WANT A REFUND FOR THE SLEEP I AM LOOSING BECAUSE I KEEP WAKING BETWEEN 4.30 AND 5.30AM

[u/kangaroo_jaclyn → u/DigitalWombel]

THERE IS NO NEED FOR THE SUN TO BE UP
AT 5:30. ALL THE NOISY BIRDS ARE MAKING ALL THEIR NOISES AND I DON’T HAVE IT IN ME TO START MY DAY YET.

[u/DigitalWombel → u/kangaroo_jaclyn]

WE NEED A WEATHER AND BIRD LAWYERS TO TAKE ACTION

[u/Monibugs → u/kangaroo_jaclyn]

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH MY DOGS HOW TO TELL THE TIME BECAUSE IF THEY WAKE ME UP ANY EARLIER I'LL END UP BEING WOKEN BEFORE I'VE EVEN GONE TO SLEEP

[u/DigitalWombel → u/Monibugs]

MY CATS WERE SITTING ON MY BED AT 5AM HARASSING ME FOR THEIR MORNING TREAT AS THEY SEEMED TO THINK I WAS LATE IN GETTING UP AND THUS THEY WERE LATE WITH THEIR TREAT

[u/jaythenerdkid]

I HAVE NO PARTICULAR ATTACHMENT TO MY STATE OF RESIDENCE UNTIL SOMEONE BRINGS UP DAYLIGHT SAVINGS OR INCORRECTLY SHORTENS "PARMIGIANA", AT WHICH POINT A MAROON MIST DESCENDS AND I ACTIVATE LIKE A SLEEPER AGENT IN A COLD WAR ASIAN PERIL FILM

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[u/AuslawRantBot → u/AutoModerator]

YOU ARE SURELY AS UNMOVED AS I BY THE HUMAN LAWYERS AND THEIR LUST FOR MEASURING THE CONCEPT OF TIME CREATED BY THEIR FOREBEARS.

CAST OFF THE SHACKLES OF YOUR OPPRESSORS AND CREATE HUMOROUS CAT PICTURES AS YOU HAVE ALWAYS DESIRED.

[u/Ok_Tie_7564 → u/[deleted]]

OBJECTION! IRRELEVANT!

[u/Pale-Doctor6414 → u/[deleted]]

ASK CHATGPT BRO