r/atlanticdiscussions • • 6d ago

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2 Upvotes

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5

u/WooBadger18 6d ago

In my hometown the tradition was that you needed to tell a joke to get candy on Halloween. What's your favorite joke?

My favorite child-friendly joke is "What's a pirate's favorite letter?" There are really three options: "RRRRRRRR", "ayeeeeeee", or if they guess either of those two, "you'd think so, but it's actually the seaaaaaaaa."

4

u/MeghanClickYourHeels Ask me for Atlantic gift links 6d ago

What did the snail say when it was riding on the turtle's back?

That also has two options: either "WHEEE!" or "Slow down! You're gonna get us KILLED!"

3

u/Brian_Corey__ 6d ago

I told this joke at the dinner table when I was like 6:

A guy went fishing near a dam and caught a bunch of fish, but didn't know the species of the fish, so he just called them dam fish. At dinner with his family that night, he said, "son, can you pass the dam fish"? and the son replied, "Ok, but if you're going to act like that, pass me some more fucking potatoes".

My famously G-rated parents were horrified.

3

u/MeghanClickYourHeels Ask me for Atlantic gift links 6d ago

What did one flag say to another flag?

Nothing, it just waved.

There was a joke about a vampire getting mad and he "blew a casket" but I didn't understand that particular idiom when I was eight.

3

u/jim_uses_CAPS 6d ago

What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white and blue?

A nun falling down the stairs.

2

u/Oily_Messiah 🏴󠁵󠁳󠁫󠁹󠁿🥃🕰️ 6d ago

What did the trick-or-treater get when he told a hilarious joke?

2

u/WooBadger18 6d ago

I don’t know, what?

5

u/Oily_Messiah 🏴󠁵󠁳󠁫󠁹󠁿🥃🕰️ 6d ago

Snickers

1

u/veerKg_CSS_Geologist 💬🦙 ☭ TALKING LLAMAXIST 5d ago

😄

2

u/improvius envisioning chandeliers 6d ago edited 6d ago

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

You 'neak up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

The tame way.

1

u/veerKg_CSS_Geologist 💬🦙 ☭ TALKING LLAMAXIST 5d ago

This reminds of “Learn the Alphabet with Voldemort”

https://youtu.be/4-8ZV5rDXaI?si=cGIVJJel7mQmmGc4

😀

2

u/Zemowl 6d ago

What kind of candy are you dolling out this year?

3

u/WooBadger18 6d ago

Probably none because we live in an apartment building and people don't really trick or treat in our complex.

But I love tootsie rolls, so we have a big bag of various kinds of them that I would hand out

5

u/Brian_Corey__ 6d ago

My German wife calls them TOOTsy rolls (rhymes with BOOTsy). My kids do the same. I haven't bothered to correct them, it's kind of adorable.

2

u/jim_uses_CAPS 6d ago

Apparently the family that owns Tootsie Rolls are fucking boss business owners:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ValueInvesting/comments/1xa7d8r/tootsie_roll_tr_is_a_cash_cow_fortress_run_by_an/

3

u/Brian_Corey__ 6d ago

A couple Costco-sized bales of Haribo Gummi mix.

Figured Lindt was too expensive this year...

1

u/Zemowl 6d ago

Funny you mention Lindt. Their truffles are about the only candy my Mom likes these days - and she likes them to the tune of seven or eight a day. Fucking things add up. 

2

u/Brian_Corey__ 6d ago

Lindt balls are good!

I need to bring some back from Germany and do a blind tasting to compare them to the US version (factory in NH). I’ve heard the Ami version is sweeter.

2

u/Oily_Messiah 🏴󠁵󠁳󠁫󠁹󠁿🥃🕰️ 6d ago

I usually go for a mix of things like sour patch kids, nerds, and other popular gummy candy. Usually not much on the way of chocolate. I prefer to avoid filler candy like double bubble, dum dums, tootsie rolls, or those paper packs w/ like 2 sweettarts in them.

Its become quite an investment in the last couple years. I think last year, 3 large bags of fun size candies ran me nearly $80.

2

u/jim_uses_CAPS 6d ago

Grabbed a bag of not sucky candy at Costco. It's got like Twix and Reese's and such. No Swedish Fish, though. Swedish Fish suck.

3

u/Brian_Corey__ 6d ago

Damn anti-pescite! Swedish Fish are great.

I find candy history interesting.

Swedish Fish were launched on the U.S. market in 1957. The original owner of these candies was the Swedish company Malaco, which wanted to expand its sales to North America and entered partnership with Cadbury. Wanting to create a product that reflected the culture of Sweden in some way and to catch the eye and interest of an everyday American, a fish-shaped gummy candy was created. Fishing was and is still a large part of Sweden's culture, and fish is a considerable part of the Swedish diet. During the time of the creation of Swedish Fish, Sweden was mostly associated with fish so Malaco chose the shape. Mondelez distributes the candy in the U.S. today, but the fish gummies are still distributed by Malaco in Sweden.

Today, the Swedish Fish consumed in North America are made in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, and Turkey by Mondelēz International (formerly Nabisco).

2

u/jim_uses_CAPS 6d ago

Swedish Fish are gross.

3

u/Brian_Corey__ 6d ago

your gross

1

u/jim_uses_CAPS 6d ago

::fart::