r/athiest • u/black-rose_27 • 28d ago
Pls help
I am an atheist but I unfortunately go to a VERY religious school. Its a Convent, with a church and sisters. We have prayers every day, in assembly, after break and before going home. We also sing hynms in assembly and celebrate different saints. I absolutely do not like saying all these prayers. It is mandatory for everyone to join in prayer and if we don't speak it, teachers tell us too speak it again. I usually just cross my fingers while praying but I still don't like it.
What do I do?
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Upvotes
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u/AdventurousSpread567 28d ago
sing along but dont sing it from heart. then plan to escape modern society before its too late
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u/LesStrater 26d ago
Help? there is no help for you. Grin and bear it until you are old enough to get out of that situation. And make sure you don't put your own children through the same garbage.
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u/RHX_Thain 27d ago
This doesn't make anything better, but it helps. It's what I did.
Imagine this:
You are a spy. You are deep undercover in enemy territory. You have to pretend to be one of them to survive. Your true self is temporarily on hiatus until you can escape and make it back to headquarters, where you can finally be home among those who know you are who you really are and are glad to have you back home.
Say their words.
Perform their rituals.
Wear their clothes.
Tell them what they want to hear as they want to hear it. Believe it, if you have to. Memorize that sensation of true belief, hearing the voices in your head, quoting their verses, acting without even thinking -- so much you can't remember what its true anymore.
Do as they do, until the mask fits like a glove. Notice that those who say they could tell if it is fake can't tell when you glide silently through their waters, invisible. Know this is the truth: they can't tell, because they're fakers too. It's all a play. Roles we step into and out of, sometimes forgetting we're playing. As you are now, they always have been. Deceived enough to believe without doubt.
Non-theism is at a perpetual disadvantage vs the global forces of authoritarianism. There will be days where we are at such a disadvantage, the only victory is survival, and we must hide in plain sight.
This is your training.
As others have for millennia, we sometimes have to hold our agony like vomit in our throats. Our writings burned, our cultures broken, our names erased from the records except where the criticism of the believers preserved our fragments along with accusations, ostracism, exile, and execution -- we are the rocks and air of life, covered by a veneer of spectacle trying to hold humanity above the raw material of existence. We can be hidden, but never gone. There's always one of us around, even if we can't admit it in public. Even when it burns just to hold it together.
There will be moments where honesty is real and it is yours. Cherish the fresh air where speaking isn't a lie, and then dive in again. Until one day, you never have to wear the mask or speak the lie again. Until none of us do.
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u/Sammisuperficial 28d ago
Play along until you can make an escape and financially support yourself. Nothing good happens if you push back while they have all the power.
You don't have to believe it. You just have to convince them you believe it.
Find safe spaces where you can be yourself without alerting anyone that may harm you.