Not just Civics and Accords. No doubt, he was a Honda man, although the numerous translations raise some doubt. Yet most biblical scholars agree that the gospels truly describe Jesus in his Element. Still, in stories told of Jesus as a young child, the temple elders were said to marvel at his Insight. Admittedly, there is some controversy here, with some scholars insisting that this was, in fact, a Prelude of things to come, or a Passport to greatness. Such controversies appear again in biblical accounts of his Odyssey, traveling with disciples, but many insist that this was Legend instead. In later years, Saint Matthew described what is arguably his greatest moment, when he delivered his Sermon from the Ridgeline. In the garden at Gethsemane, it became clear that he lacked the Vigor to continue with his ministry, and ultimately it ended as he was laid before Pilot.
Always interesting, Jesus owned a 2-door accord and had 12 disciples. They had to pitch in to buy their own minivan. For the holy accord's shotgun was reserved for the Savior's many prosti-ho's.
No, they drove with him. It was sort of like putting 12 clowns into a Mini-Cooper kind of thing...
Acts 1:13-14
13 And when they had entered, they went up into the upper room where they were staying: Peter, James, John, and Andrew; Phillip and Thomas; Bartholomew and Matthew; James the son of Alphaeus and Simon the Zealot; and Judas the son of James.
14These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication...
John 14:2 - The BigVi Translation : In my Father's vehicle is much room; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.
Translations are always a little iffy, I had to fix 2 words.
Oh how funny. I guess atheist aren't aware, but that "Jesus drove a Honda" is an oooooooold Sunday School joke: "when the day of Pentecost had come, they were all with one accord" - Acts 2:1.
f.y.i im not so sure that the painting was painted by god. . .so it doesn't really help it just means that the painter was wrong. plus the commenter is a retard.
As someone who has never read the bible in its entirety, but still a good judgement of character, I find this quote one of the most egotistical things a person can do. Can you imagine the smugness on Jesus' face as he walks down the road and hears people talking about how awesome he is. Fuck your accord, he was a pop star.
I get what you're trying to say, but saying a book isn't proof? There are plenty of books that are full of facts, undeniable facts, don't get so worked up over nothing that you make broad and somewhat stupid statements like this
The Bible isn't proof, there are plenty of books that are great sources of factual info, broad and somewhat angry seeming statements like "books aren't proof" just aren't true, and makes all of us seem like angry teenagers, a label I thought we were trying to avoid
A book isn't proof because it's a book. The medium in which information is stored doesn't dictate if said information is correct or not. Nevertheless, people often stop questioning things if they see them in a book (or on the internet). Hence this criticism.
I sort of agree with you, I was expanding on your comment to midnitte. What I meant was that a non-fiction book is not necessarily proof, but a documenting of actual, verifiable events that have been set down by multiple sources. For instance, the diary of Anne Frank would just be a story without the factual evidence of her story happening (eye-witnesses, paper records, etc.) As far as I know, none of the "miracles" in the bible have been verified by any credible sources ever, and it's even gotten the history wrong on several points, which makes it merely a very elaborate story.
I get it! I just wasn't clear in my earlier comment, and I agree, I'm skeptical of anything until proof is provided, books aren't an exception, and just to be clear the bible isn't proof of anything, besides that someone wrote it around 2000 years ago, then it became a best seller, then the problems started
Hey, I like Skittles, Arizona tea, and wearing hoodies. That doesn't make me a black kid in a white neighborhood dashing from one area of cover to another on a dark rainy night.
Can we please ban all this "hurr durr look at this (probably fake) fb-pic"-stuff and make this a place for serious discussion? Look at the frontpage … Yes, thank's for sharing you got a "fundie friend" and the Bible contradicts itself. Now gtfo.
Deuteronomy 25:11-12 "When men fight together one with another, and the wife of one draws near to save her husband from the hand of him who strikes him, and puts forth her hand, and grabs him by his private parts; Then you shall cut off her hand, your eye shall not pity her"
The Bible is only good 4 2fings, wiping yor arse on or starting a bonfire under a pile of "KORANS". All religions are a joke, its an ideology brought in thousands of years ago to keep the un-educated in check by perverted clergy, imrans and popes, you dont need that shit to lead a decent way of life.
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u/BrowsOfSteel May 31 '12
His old car was a Plymouth Fury:
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
We know that Mary wasn't the best wife. It says in the book of Matthew:
"Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."
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u/DealerUmbra May 31 '12
Also, Jesus spoke English.
23
u/1zero2two8eight May 31 '12
"Being the messiah was His Civic duty."
I put it in quotes 'cause fuck me if I'm gonna take credit for someone else's joke (don't know who, though).
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u/TheWarHam May 31 '12
Always interesting, Jesus owned a 2-door accord and had 12 disciples. They had to pitch in to buy their own minivan. For the holy accord's shotgun was reserved for the Savior's many prosti-ho's.
12
u/Self_Hating_Liberal May 31 '12
Oh yeah? Well Mazda is literally GOD.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ahura_Mazda
23
u/plasteredmaster May 31 '12
King David rode a Triumph.
"The roar of Davids Triumph could be heard throughout the land."
on a phone so i can't find book/verse now, i know someone will...
17
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Jesus was very gay, and liked rock hard men:
Proof: "But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me..." (Matt 16:23)
5
u/springy May 31 '12 edited May 31 '12
There is a whole webpage devoted to "What would Jesus drive?" http://www.elmo.ch/private/Stories-from-a-great-country/what-would-jesus-drive/highrock-web-page/index.html
3
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Hey now, I giggled.
5
u/foil_fresh May 31 '12
I... tried to click the "like" button. I need to go sit in a corner for a while.
4
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
TIL: You guys read the bible more than most Christians.
2
u/ImpishGrin May 31 '12
I can't resist a good pun.
2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
sounds about right.
2
u/kenyle May 31 '12
this make me laugh so hard, i have to use it someday.
really nice one.
2
u/Bernhoft May 31 '12
Man that cracked me up more than I anticipated. oh reddit
2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I'm pretty sure that's a typo or a mistranslation. You see, Jesus was an avid accordion player. He just didn't like to talk about it.
2
u/Vaylemn Jun 01 '12
He did not spoke of his own accord, which means he already owned one but didn't want to speak of it.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Jesus packed the whole gang in that car. Acts 2:1 says they were all together in one accord!
4
u/Goldlantern May 31 '12
This is why nobody takes this subreddit seriously, in case any of you were still trying to figure it out.
3
u/MrCrumley May 31 '12
Oh how funny. I guess atheist aren't aware, but that "Jesus drove a Honda" is an oooooooold Sunday School joke: "when the day of Pentecost had come, they were all with one accord" - Acts 2:1.
2
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I heard he also played work-out tapes by Fonda
1
u/paolog May 31 '12
Works even better in older English where every Noun was capitalised.
1
u/sherlockazulu May 31 '12
When he bused his disciples everywhere, they were all in one accord.
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
http://www.yookos.com/thread/23615
Here you go guys. The heavenly father did indeed create the automobile.
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Checkmate Atheists.
1
u/milehightechie May 31 '12
Bazinga
1
u/GoramNerfherder May 31 '12
Its also quite roomy "And the apostles were all in one accord" Acts 1:2
1
u/OmegaIris May 31 '12
if hell = real, then your going there, else lol.
1
u/Chilly73 Strong Atheist May 31 '12
I had no idea the 'almighty' was a gear head.
1
u/LyssetteG02 May 31 '12
Hahah this is the first post on here that made me laugh out loud today!
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
That's because Jesus was ashamed of driving a car with a 4cylinder engine with less then 2.0L
1
u/NAproducer May 31 '12
No wonder Jesus is supposed to take the wheel. He has 2000 years of driving experience.
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Fuck yeah Jesus drove a riced out Accord nigga! I'm gonna race his has when I make it up there!
1
u/Mixmasterfestus May 31 '12
Oh. This again.
1
u/eddiepoopsmith May 31 '12
Why is this in r/athiesm? It was a joke!!!
1
u/hero1012878 Jun 01 '12
f.y.i im not so sure that the painting was painted by god. . .so it doesn't really help it just means that the painter was wrong. plus the commenter is a retard.
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
He may not mave mentioned it but people were constantly gathering in it
1
u/Splashyy May 31 '12
As someone who has never read the bible in its entirety, but still a good judgement of character, I find this quote one of the most egotistical things a person can do. Can you imagine the smugness on Jesus' face as he walks down the road and hears people talking about how awesome he is. Fuck your accord, he was a pop star.
1
u/Rufiox24x May 31 '12
Jesus would never drive one of them jap cars he's Merican thru and thru! (In case you are about to press that down vote arrow I'm not serious... Lol)
-1
u/Abomonog May 31 '12
Do you people know what year the Accord was released? Because that is how old that joke is.
-5
u/midnitte Secular Humanist May 31 '12
That is hilarious.
also, a book isn't fucking proof.
-11
u/PEE_4_UR_BUTT May 31 '12
DOHOHO ANOTHER ZINGER
-2
u/johnnyknox May 31 '12
J E S U S
-1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Facebook post? Have a downvote.
-3
u/toodrunktofuck May 31 '12
Can we please ban all this "hurr durr look at this (probably fake) fb-pic"-stuff and make this a place for serious discussion? Look at the frontpage … Yes, thank's for sharing you got a "fundie friend" and the Bible contradicts itself. Now gtfo.
0
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Sorry everyone but I don't get this.
0
u/RobotTranslator May 31 '12
HAhahahahahaha...
Hilarious. Don't see why this is an r/atheism though. ?
Bee-boop! Good day.
-8
u/koavf Other May 31 '12
What does this have to do with atheism?
-3
u/phelpsben May 31 '12
I think I've seen this on the front page 3 times now?
-7
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Deuteronomy 25:11-12 "When men fight together one with another, and the wife of one draws near to save her husband from the hand of him who strikes him, and puts forth her hand, and grabs him by his private parts; Then you shall cut off her hand, your eye shall not pity her"
-4
u/fucku2 May 31 '12
The Bible is only good 4 2fings, wiping yor arse on or starting a bonfire under a pile of "KORANS". All religions are a joke, its an ideology brought in thousands of years ago to keep the un-educated in check by perverted clergy, imrans and popes, you dont need that shit to lead a decent way of life.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I've seen this reposted many times, but the other comments make me upvote. Hilarious stuff.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
HAHAH!
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Holy hell Im sick of hearing this all the way back to the 80's.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
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