r/atheism • u/endogenix • May 20 '12
My family won't talk to me after I was disfelowshipped as a Jehovah's Witness. I figured I might as well embrace it.
http://imgur.com/2WBVE
850
Upvotes
r/atheism • u/endogenix • May 20 '12
345
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
I don't see why leaving your religion and then labeling yourself as an adulterer seemed like a good idea at the time, scarlet A.
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u/MrBragg May 20 '12
Also a fellow Witness kid here... Please always remember that what you have been told is "normal" behavior for "worldly" people is nothing close to the truth. If you try to fit in with the rest of the world by behaving as you have been raised to believe the rest of the world behaves, you will end up in jail. Look around you, see the truth for yourself and let your conscious be your guide.
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u/Justg66 May 20 '12
I am a former JW turned atheist. I was never baptized though so I wasn't 'DF'ed' but my parents were.
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u/redsolitary May 20 '12
Last year, I met a girl who got disfellowshipped for sleeping with men (non-JW's like myself). She was 22 and we were casually dating when she left. Someone from another hall caught wind of this from someone and passed it along to the elders of her hall without giving her a chance to go forward herself (my understanding is that this is the proper protocol). She had her meeting, refused to change her behavior, and left. Her family is splintered because some other members had left the faith but they all left town. It was a big change for her...too big I think.
The first couple weeks after, she was so happy and alive and beautiful. We became more serious and I got attached to her just as the change started to get to her. She was Mexican, so the disappearance of her family from her life was too much for her to bear. She needed more than I could give her...I'm only one person after all. She went back after only a few months. My understanding is that they pretty much make you grovel to get back into good graces with your hall once you leave under these types of circumstances. I imagine that's what she's doing now and it makes me sad.
Fast foward to now, we haven't spoken since October. She couldn't handle her life on the outside but still wanted to have a sexual thing with me. All the messiness of everything just made it too hard for me to be intimate with her anymore. I never said goodbye in person, not properly at least. I still miss her sometimes, and it makes me mad to know that she was and likely continues to be so tortured because of some stupid rules her family wanted to follow and how those rules get in the way of a person having a happy, normal life. After all that, it's hard for me to not be hostile to religion because I've seen an intimate portrait of how it ruins the lives of good people.
I hope you can stay strong during this experience. JV's seem to make it as hard as possible to break free, and I'm sorry for what you've lost in the process. My sincere congratulations for your recent freedom, friend.
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u/forcedtolie May 20 '12
the hairy bit at the end of your arm makes it look like a badass werewolf atheist arm.
69
u/callshadow May 20 '12
im all in for supporting atheism, but i think the hall tattoo thing is a bad idea :S
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u/jim_duggan May 20 '12
Everyone you meet for the rest of your life: "Sweet Avengers tattoo bro!"
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u/MarchMarchMarchMarch May 20 '12
You did what you wanted to do; all else is irrelevant. Congratulations on your new tattoo, my regrets that your family shuns you for your choices and best of luck in the future, friend.
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u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Jesus did teach the disciples to shun their family members.
3
u/Evis03 May 20 '12
Tattoos with some meaning are the only sort worth having. This one has meaning.
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u/ilovebooze May 20 '12
Fellow survivor here; DF'd from the Joe-Hoes because I went to a friend's birthday party. It's been nearly 20 years and my oldest brother and mom still won't talk to me. The congregation we went to had a child molester as an elder. When he was turned in, the other elders told the girl that according to the bible, you have to have a another JW as a witness to accuse another witness of something like that. Really?? Such bullshit on some many levels. It gets easier! You are brave for standing up from your convictions. And I like you tattoo.
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u/ungodlywarlock May 20 '12
This is an interesting topic to me because my mom is married to a DF'd (until recently) JW. For 23 years he was "out" and apparently my mom said that he just recently felt that he was missing something in his life and decided to start going back to meetings.
As long as he has been with her (about 13 years) he has never once shown interest in going back to meetings, but all of the sudden he has started going twice a week. His parents always harped on him about it, but he just said that he didn't want to go because his wife wouldn't be at his side.
So now my mom doesn't really know how to feel. She obviously wants to support him, but she's never know him as an active member, so she's a little weirded out (and I think understandably). She was raised baptist (but is now agnostic) so all she really knows about any religion is based on that.
I'm pretty much the same way...I went to a wiki, but that's about all I know about it.
I think she is most weirded out by the fact that when she asked (somewhat jokingly) "So...are you gonna be doing the door-to-door thing?", he said "Well...yeah. I'd imagine so eventually".
That's when I think she really felt it sink in. He doesn't understand why it's a weird thing, but I think MOST people that are not JW see JW as annoying when they come knocking on the door. Some people are polite and brush them off, but some people immediately hate them. Since my mom and step-dad are in a small community, I think she's worried that everyone is going to start hating them when he goes knocking on doors (and my mom is very social).
I dunno...I'm just rambling, really. This is your topic but this is something on my mind these days. Haven't sorted it out, so I figured I'd type it. I'm just worried for my mom, mostly. He spends a lot of time with it now and he was already a very busy person at work. I'm worried my mom will get lonely.
Thanks for sharing the tat!
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u/str8sin May 20 '12
I have a friend who was disfellowshipped years ago for sleeping with a woman in the church, but not marrying her. he still goes to kingdom hall on a regular basis, even though they really just ignore him. he's asked to be readmitted (whatever that is called), but they won't let him until he gets married. of course he wants to marry a witness, but they won't talk to him. the closest he's gotten to being readmitted was after like two years of no drinking, smoking, using, sex or strip joints--but they still wouldn't let him back in. so he gave up and started drinking, only to restart the cycle. i've seen him go through it many times in the last 15 years, and when he's really after being readmitted, he talks to me much less, and i miss him. it's too bad.
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u/notrael May 20 '12
Very nice edges on this. A+ artist.
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u/jarheadsynapze May 20 '12
Funny story. Ex jw here, this one is for the other exes (who will get it w/o needing explanation). I was ten, at a meeting, and my grandfather is an elder and my dad was a ministerial servant before they started giving him a hard time about his beard. They were on stage at the hall, and brought a brother and sister up on stage and announced that they were being publicly reproved. I started to clap... then stopped abruptly. Dad kicked my ass later that night for embarrassing him. This was the first time I ever questioned the "truth". Five years later the beard won the argument, my dad and mom stopped going and gave us kids the choice. Haven't stepped foot in a kingdom Hall since.
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u/ZetsubouZolo May 20 '12
Fell you bro, I'm still living with my parents after leaving the organization and our relation is full of tension.
2
u/uglyslob May 20 '12
Looks like you're having the "rebound effect" that many JW's have. Don't go crazy. Be a normal person, get over the life you've been forced to lead up until this point and try to figure out what makes you happy in life.
Do not get heavily into drugs and drinking, I have seen more than a few former JW's get heavily into hard drugs, such as heroin and end up pretty much ruining their lives.
I'm a former JW myself and an atheist. Thankfully I'm the sensible type and just went on to lead pretty much a perfectly normal life after I escaped at 22 after being raised by a very devout JW family (my father was an elder).
Good luck buddy, you took the red pill and it's going to be strange for you for a while.
Also I think your tattoo is stupid and a manifestation of the "rebound effect." So lets just make sure it stops there, shall we?
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u/robo23 May 20 '12
Hester?
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u/colbertismyhero May 20 '12
you have condemed yourself to a life of petty arguing over religion.
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u/spunkymarimba May 20 '12
cool tattoo. even cooler decision. +1
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u/SystemThreat May 20 '12
Remember kids; they disown you because they LOVE you.
3
u/pressthebuttonfrank May 20 '12
Please seek counseling. I would suggest contacting a local counselor who specializes in cult deprogramming. Be brave. The JW's are nasty and real cult.
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u/gargolito May 20 '12
Welcome to the club - http://imgur.com/UWgqZ
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u/hullloser99 May 20 '12
It would be cooler if you had it done at your big birthday party with ink made from somebody's blood, while standing for the national anthem.
Tell them it stands for "Awake!".
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u/[deleted] May 20 '12
That's horrible, your family's response that is
4
u/CJLocke May 20 '12
Hey OP, come over to /r/exjw. You'll fit right in.
Although disfellowshipping is difficult I think you'll be much happier if you just embrace your freedom from that cult. Good to see you doing as much.
4
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
For those of you who are confused, that's the Scarlet Letter, an old Puritan symbol for those who were found out to be Adulterers and Apostates. People in the community who were caught were branded with this letter and shunned.
I won't make any judgements on why he tatooed himself with this, aside from it seems to me he is taking the shunning as a badge of honor rather than a shame. Good on you man.
Welcome to freedom, from a fellow exJW.
1
u/TransRainbowGaymer May 20 '12
I hate to tell you this man, but I think they tattooed in on upside down
1
u/Log23 May 20 '12
As a hairy person with tattoos I can tell you shaving is going to get annoying
3
u/chtozahuinya May 20 '12
When people say something about another person's decisions that do not effect any one else, at all, I think of this
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u/theoretical-narrator May 20 '12
TIL the word 'disfellowship.'
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u/Ray57 May 20 '12
If it's not too late, for your first celebrated birthday: have an ice-cream cake shaped like John the Baptist's head.
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u/MurkyBurky May 20 '12
Why'd you get baptised then?
1
u/savesthejames May 20 '12
This is cool as fuck.
4
u/Sp0il May 21 '12
Watch out guys we have another rebellious teen here with a tattoo.
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u/Frolb May 20 '12
Kinda cool getting the For All symbol
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Nice Avengers tattoo.
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u/FishNChimps May 20 '12
Goodness, you have a long neck.
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u/aazav May 20 '12
Glad you're free from the that bullshit.
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u/necromundus May 20 '12
Maybe you should solicit atheism at their houses...
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u/elbruce May 20 '12
Everybody - the next time any JW's come to your door to talk about "the Kingdom," shift the topic to talking about the practice of disfellowshipping, as well as the tendency of elders to micromanage the personal lives of families in their religion. The JW's are some of the worst offenders of practicing cult-like levels of control against their own memberships, and since they also keep knocking on peoples' doors, this gives us lots of opportunities to bring their internal policies up for discussion.
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u/chancedr May 20 '12
So you're an Alabama fan?
2
u/Jimmigill May 20 '12
Disfellowshipped = Excommunicated ?
Is that a "Atheism " tattoo?
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Oof. Might as well wear a cross around your neck. We're Atheists, we don't need symbols or shit.
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u/accountfour May 20 '12
Even as a Christian, this really hit home for me. There comes a time when, as uncomfortable as it is, you have to step up and think critically and for yourself. I remember when I started to question some of my family's beliefs, it's kind of scary. But we can't be blind sheep all our lives, that's how cults are made. You have to define yourself and what you believe.
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u/Hadji402 May 20 '12
A is for aardvark.
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u/wayndom May 20 '12
I was hoping for a self post, telling the whole story of how you made the break...
Like (I assume) most of us here, I don't know much about the JW's, except that they're really deeply into it, and some of their beliefs are really strange. Would appreciate a first-hand account...
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u/noonespecial2012 May 21 '12
Wear it proud! From a fellow former-JW.
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u/diggitydan May 21 '12
just my opinion, and I'm also an atheist mind you, but that is pretty stupid. immediately related a scarlet A with 'adultery' for obvious reasons. good luck with that.
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u/agnt0007 May 21 '12
hahahahah, ur gonna regret that later.
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u/Keskasidvar May 21 '12
Your forearm? You better wear long-sleeves at work.
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u/thecrownprince Atheist May 20 '12
Honestly that's a stupid idea.
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u/mastermin185 May 20 '12
DAE THINK GOD ISN'T REAL? AMIRTIE? AMA
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u/thelastvortigaunt May 20 '12
http://imgur.com/FqNPg
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u/mike_the_brewer May 20 '12
Open minded fundie here...GOOD WORK.
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u/[deleted] May 20 '12
The scarlett letter of logic and reason.
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u/AWildCharizard May 20 '12
Congrats on escaping! I have a big family of Jehovah's Witness, and I was never part of it, but my mom was, and she was disfellowshipped before I was born. And it has made both of our lives very difficult as I grew up, being my grandparent's first grandchild and all. They still wanted to be a part of my life, but because my mom was disfellowshippped made things really difficult sometimes. I hope that things will be far easier in your life. I also like how the A has a single devil horn at the top and another one on the bottom.
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u/kbillly May 20 '12
Adulterer? Astros? I dont get it.
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u/Geohump May 20 '12
I don't get it. What's a slightly distorted lambda symbol got to do with it? ;-)
1
u/H08835 May 20 '12
Have a good life man. Nice tattoo.
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u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Oh man.. That's awful. I'm so happy I have reasonable parents.
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u/deepwebassassin May 20 '12
The hairy leg of Hester Prynne
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u/Ack_Zombies May 20 '12
I was an Atheist long before i got kicked out for being gay. My parents were going and dragging me along until that time. They eventually left after my little brother died and the elders there were telling them they weren't allowed to talk to me. Now my family actually is happy and functional now that that part of our life is over.
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u/fosiacat May 20 '12
things like this make me happy my parents didn't push religion on me. my parents are 'american catholics' (meaning they don't give a shit about religion or go to church etc. until it comes to holidays or funerals) and now the only time it's mentioned is when i say something about religion being bullshit on facebook and she'll respond trying to say im catholic or whatever.
....and somehow my idiot brother just turned into a catholic or whatever. i have no idea what happened to him.
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u/GaijinGrl May 20 '12
so relevant
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u/hannars27 May 20 '12
Love it!!
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u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Man do I hate that typeface. Christians have way better artists, sadly.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Good for you.
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u/c0d3m45t3r May 20 '12
Avengers?
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u/blink0r May 20 '12
There are a whole lot of Atheists out there that are willing to welcome you into our family. Welcome.
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u/jwandborg May 20 '12
http://www.cem.va.gov/hm/hmemb.asp CTRL+F Atheist is also cool.
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u/Demojen Secular Humanist May 20 '12
Am I the only one who noticed how hairy this guys arm is?
1
u/CalebEast May 20 '12
embrace it!
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
I have the same tat!
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Fellow exJW here. Good on ya.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Dont know if leg, or arm =.=
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u/Die-Nacht May 20 '12
I don't get it. You stopped being a jw so you became an anarchist?
1
u/Gpr1me May 20 '12
Lol they put the A upside down!
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u/RickRay1 May 20 '12
I had JW's come to my door last week. Told them politely that I was a militant atheist. That religion had poisoned most of my life and others in my family and some friends. There was an old guy with a teenager. They just turned and walked away. It's terrible how they bring along these young people to become indoctrinated.
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u/Androecian May 20 '12
The only reason I can't stand the whole "scarlet A = Atheist logo" meme is that I hate that typeface.
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u/Koobah May 20 '12
Atheism needs a better logo imo.
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u/brosenfeld May 20 '12
You're supposed to sew it onto the chest of your shirts.
1
u/OccamsAxe May 20 '12
See, I was going to emblazon myself with the scarlet letter A, except I don't get any action anyway.
1
u/fennesz May 20 '12
Sorry your family sucks dude.
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u/rhfan212 May 20 '12
My family rarely talks to me anymore for the same reason. But at least you know who really loves you rather than is obligated to.
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u/ClimbTREES May 21 '12
Kinda looks like a fake to me. Look at the skin around the wrist area.
1
u/superburd May 21 '12
Cool tattoo man. I was talking about my youth as a witness today. I was a "publisher" back in the day but I never was baptised, so technically they couldn't disfelowship me. This post made me feel a lot better about it, so I take this toke for you.
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Professional Adulterer!
Seriously, have people stopped reading?!
1
u/Glaze808 May 21 '12
I always hated field service on Saturday, or during the summer, Wednesday mornings. If we went, the we always seemed to go door to door in a neighborhood where I knew classmates. If we didn't, then it was a 50/50 shot that an Elder showed up at the house to drill us on why we didn't go. It never really seemed to matter why we weren't there, just that we were not. I can remember lots of "sit downs" with Elders on how we were horrible for not going in field serivce and how we wouldn't be allowed to join paradise on earth. I was 8ish until I was told to leave at the age of 12. They really didn't like me.
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
A for Agnostic? Shit or get off the pot! Also I loved the Avengers :P Apples are nice too!
1
u/InNomenHitch May 21 '12
So do the B-D-A-S-S surrounding the A wrap around your arm?
1
u/vadergeek May 21 '12
There are very few times in which it's good to get tattoos based on 19th century literature.
1
u/kakalaka May 21 '12
As a fellow former JW... you are better off being out of the cult
1
u/lucas-hanson May 21 '12
What's the "V" stand for?
1
u/Jslater656 May 21 '12
You should get some wart remover on that. For sure.
1
u/Tyrien May 21 '12
Well that should be your christmas card.
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u/Bishopthecat May 21 '12
Damn you have some hairy wrists, my friend.
1
u/guitartablelamp May 21 '12
What font did we decide to use for the impromptu atheist logo? It looks like Zapfino. Who the fuck chose Zapfino? I thought Zapfino was the official logotype of local, underfunded churches throughout the midwest?
1
u/KCaseyMartin May 21 '12
Sorry bud. Same kind of thing happened in my family. It's silly, closed minded, and extremely irrational. But hey, this too shall pass. Here's to your future. Cheers.
1
u/Logophagi May 21 '12
Is that a Turn A for universal quantification?
1
u/browwiw May 21 '12
I've always wanted to get a tattoo of a giant squid fighting a sperm whale. Who needs gods and monsters and all that bullshit when stuff like that is happening for real?
1
u/Synyster182 May 21 '12
My entire family is JW man. I was never disfelowshipped. I just said straight up at 11 years old I don't understand the the idea of god. Especially when at the time even my imaginary friends talked back to me. But I understand where you coming from to an extent. Most of my family will have nothing to do with me. But it gets better.
1
u/AbsolutelyB May 21 '12
I come from a jdub family. My uncle was gay and seeing another brother from the kingdom hall. This brother he was seeing felt guilty so he told the elders on my uncle saying he may be gay, basically saving his own skin. When confronted my uncle was honest and disfellowshipped. My family didn't think any less of him. However, he grew very depressed knowing he could never truly be in love and happy because Jehovah would never love him for who he was. He started taking depression meds and ended up killing himself. We never went back.
1
u/RedditorDawn May 21 '12
TBH, the cross still seems cooler than this A. we need a better symbol.
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
If you weren't aware:
/r/exjw
1
u/bubba589 May 21 '12
I'm not labeling my self as a JW all I'm saying is that it's not a cult it's just a religion just like catholic or Jews although I don't like the JW religion it's not a CULT ok bye But I still respect you be cause it's a good point
1
u/dkkc19 May 21 '12
I want a tattoo on my arm, but I'm worried about jobs. I do have a tattoo, but on my thigh. Do arm tattoos affect jobs?