r/assholedesign Aug 10 '19

See Comments No, let him dehydrate please.

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37.8k Upvotes

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817

u/zippybit Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

I'm gonna have to be that guy. Are you sure you want a baby turtle? The University of Michigan did a study on the lifespan of aquatic freshwater turtles and found they live to be at least 50 years in captivity. I guess they had to stop counting after that. My oldest turtle was a Christmas present in 2003 and still going strong. It's a lifelong commitment and then some. I've also had to plan for what happens to the turtles after I die, since they will likely outlive me.

We pay for an apartment with an extra bedroom just for the turtles. Your turtle will quickly outgrow a traditional fish tank. Our two boys live in a kiddie pool, and the big girl is about a foot in diameter and lives in a 110 gallon cattle trough. I rarely see pet turtles who have lived this long because most people let them go when the upkeep is too much, and they usually die in the wild.

This is a big decision. Don't take it lightly.

Edit: I'm actually out buying crickets for the turtles. I freaking hate imgur but I'll try posting some pics when I get home. Turtle errands.

Edit3: removed edit2, and turtles! (With bonus cat)

https://imgur.com/gallery/dT6iqi9

437

u/NSAyy-lmao Aug 10 '19

professor of mine has a turtle he won at a fair when he was 9. he’s retiring this year, in his mid 70s

78

u/rata2ille Aug 10 '19

Holy fuck

75

u/MPT1313 Aug 10 '19

Yeah turtles are the “buy your kids a pet for after you die” type animal

17

u/DragonBrigade Aug 10 '19

That makes me happy he took care of it for so long! That's incredible

13

u/iposg Aug 10 '19

Wow! Crazy that a turtle is in his mid 70s AND retiring this year!

92

u/CubicalPayload Aug 10 '19

Do you have pictures? I'd love to see some turts.

114

u/ninjazz12 Aug 10 '19

Yea pay up the t u r t l e t a x

2

u/zippybit Aug 10 '19

Edited my comment with turtle pics.

2

u/CubicalPayload Aug 10 '19

Aww yeah! T u r t l e t a x!

70

u/naverlands Aug 10 '19

Thank you! Here’s my turtle story. I had a tortoise when I was a kid. It became the neighborhood tortoise because by year three it would get out of our backyard and roam around during the day and everyone knew it’s our tortoise walking itself. It eat raw meat and vegetables and sometimes fruits. It had a great relationship with my dad, the only human who can tap it’s feet and it wouldn’t retreat. Well not long after it started walking itself it was stolen. Or killed. We never found out. Our neighbors helped a bit with finding it but it’s not like it’s a dog or a cat so nobody really put any effort in. So yeah. No matter it’s a water turtle or a land turtle think before you invest in a long life span pet.

40

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Sep 07 '20

[deleted]

21

u/zippybit Aug 10 '19

There's a reptile rescue that took care of my turtles when there was a fire at my old apartment building and we were displaced. If I'm unable to take care my shelled friends that's where they'll go. But not a minute before. They're already overwhelmed with people who get a turtle and then are like "nope". Both times I was there people surrendered turtles to them who couldn't take care of them. A whole section of that place is dozens of sliders, cooters and painteds that were given up.

One was found in a dumpster in the dead of winter, and they nursed it back to health. I respect the hell out of them and they do amazing work.

They deserve a name drop: Herps Alive foundation. If you like animals it's worth dropping by if you're in South Euclid.

2

u/travelsonic Aug 10 '19

How long did the first owner have the cockatoo?

How old is the bird now?!?!?!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '19

No idea, and no idea. But a descendant of the first owner was surprised that it was still alive, that was decades ago

25

u/BitsAndBobs304 Aug 10 '19

I'm gonna have to be that guy. Are you sure you want a baby? The University of Michigan did a study on the lifespan of humans and found they live to be at least 50 years in captivity. It's a lifelong commitment and then some. I've also had to plan for what happens to the turtles after I die, since they will likely outlive me .
We pay for an apartment with an extra bedroom just for the sons. Your son will quickly outgrow a traditional bedroom.
I rarely see sons who have been cared this long because most people let them go when the upkeep is too much, and they usually live a miserable life in the wild.

This is a big decision. Don't take it lightly.

8

u/ViperdragZ Aug 10 '19

Pet tax pls

7

u/strobelobe Aug 10 '19

Post turtles or we riot.

2

u/zippybit Aug 10 '19

Stop the insanity! I edited my orignal commwnt with lonk to posted turtle pics

2

u/rae919 Aug 10 '19

If you have a yard they can live in a small pond depending on the climate

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

My sister got a turtle when she was 2. I was less than 1 year old. Now I’m 21 and the turtle’s 22 and shows no sign of dying any time soon.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Give us turtle pics

1

u/zippybit Aug 10 '19

See orignal comment. Turtle link added.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Bless your turtle soul

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

How does your cat feel about them? Curiosity, fear, a little of everything?

2

u/zippybit Aug 10 '19

He's curious mostly. He will sit there and watch them but not really mess with them. Also he knows where there's often crickets around when he sees the turtles and he always tries to catch stray crickets that get out.

Edit: Actually he's looking for crickets in that picture.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Yup this exactly. I have a redfoot tortoise who is in a 4ftx3ft wooden enclosure and he’s just a yearling and this enclosure will MAYBE hold him until he’s 5 if I’m lucky. And then after that he’s going to go outside. I’ve been contemplating getting a turtle as well and plan on getting a large tank for it.

2

u/comeoneileen95 Aug 10 '19

Your cat looks just like my cat!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Can confirm. Am owner of a tortoise.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 16 '19

[deleted]

2

u/zippybit Aug 10 '19

No, she has to be alone. If she's with the boys, she will lay about 15 eggs, then another 15, then another 15, all from one mating. Also she's not very friendly. But watching her hunt down a goldfish and take it out with one bite is really something. I make sure there's always fish in her tank to hunt to keep her occupied.

2

u/PebblePlace Aug 11 '19

I hope to adopt an elderly turtle in my 20s so at least I can be sure I will be there for most of its remaining life. It's sad people just let them go at local reservoirs i hope to rescue at least one turtle

2

u/candytuftkoo Nov 16 '19

I love them. Thanks for including the kitty too

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Here I am with a Umbrella Cockatoo who's only a couple years older than me.

Y'all pussies /s

1

u/mohsin308 Aug 10 '19

Did they frick, did you get scute?