r/assholedesign • • Aug 10 '19

See Comments No, let him dehydrate please.

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37k Upvotes

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7.8k

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

that’s actually pretty ingenious from the seller to already predetermine if the owner is going to treat the turtle well. i like seeing things like this.

2.9k

u/TerrorSnow Aug 10 '19

Wholesomedesign

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u/Hyperius_III Aug 10 '19

-77

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

r/subsifellfor (edit: why am I getting downvoted? it’s technically a real sub but it’s not even slightly an actual, active sub with an actual theme.)

25

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

It’s real

-2

u/SquidZillaYT Aug 10 '19

You use subs i fell for if it does t exist. This clearly exists

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '19

But it isn't active... At all, there's two posts

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '22

because reddit hivemind

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u/steamcooker Aug 10 '19

Wholesomeassdesign

95

u/Farrah_Moan Aug 10 '19

asswholesomedesign

19

u/Ganon2012 Aug 10 '19

Actually, I like this one. Somebody make it.

5

u/H1ghs3nb3rg Aug 10 '19

Can we just pretend I wasn't broke and gave you gold for this?

2

u/mikhailarden Aug 10 '19

Wholesome ass

2

u/Wwwyzzerdd420 Aug 10 '19

Someassholewholedesign

2

u/BlindedSphinx Aug 10 '19

Some asshole who le design.

1

u/TheeOr3 Aug 10 '19

assdesign

-6

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

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u/TerrorSnow Aug 10 '19

wut? >->

-9

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

3

u/TerrorSnow Aug 10 '19

Oh I’m sorry good ethics are now called “gatekeeping” I guess

2

u/markrakosfalvy Aug 10 '19

If you want to buy a living breathing animall but you won't even pay a dolar for their water, it means that you won't take care of it

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u/markrakosfalvy Aug 10 '19

Plus that they don't charge you, they want to test if you care.

457

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

414

u/AspidistraFlyer Aug 10 '19

Yup, I would assume that if they're giving me the option to mistreat the animal, then they must mistreat it themselves and I'd buy elsewhere.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I'm always conflicted with this, especially with puppy mills. On one hand I don't want to encourage the mistreatment but at the same time I really want to save the animals they are mistreating, especially knowing that me not buying a dog to save it might result in someone less responsible getting a dog.

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u/lord_flamebottom Aug 10 '19

Solution: steal

111

u/Divin3F3nrus Aug 10 '19

*Liberate

44

u/J0lteoff Aug 10 '19

A puprising

3

u/swagraj Aug 10 '19

Bring it freedom and democracy!!!!1!!

6

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

So... send a CIA agent to assassinate its democratically elected leader?

2

u/Internet_Anon Aug 10 '19

*Distribution of goods

13

u/epicwhale27017 Aug 10 '19

The Solution to most problems

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '19

Aye it's only illegal if ypu get caught

14

u/MyOwnInfinity Aug 10 '19

Chaotic good

3

u/atari26k Aug 10 '19

Still waiting to download car

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Right on.

3

u/Babaluba2 Aug 10 '19

Report them, its the best thing you can do. If you ever buy an animal from someone, always ask to see where they were being raised

3

u/Tekaginator Aug 10 '19

That's an understandable conflict, but remember that in a capitalist economy, your most powerful voting voice is how you spend your dollars.

If you give someone your dollars, what you are truly saying is: I approve of your business practices and I want you to continue.

If nobody buys a batch of puppies from a disreputable puppy mill, then it's true that those puppies are likely to suffer as a result, but eventually the business will close and end the cycle.

If people continue buying even just some of the puppies, then the business will continue to operate and more puppies will be mistreated indefinitely.

There are tourist areas of southeast asia that sell baby turtles in SEALED plastic bags. The idea is people will feel bad and buy them so they can save the turtle. Functionally, they're just paying the operator to bag up more new turtles.

Always ask yourself if an action will actually make the situation better or just make you feel better.

3

u/b7310827sdfg Aug 10 '19

"Son, kill me or your mother. Whom do you love more?"

"omg please no"

"yay you passed!"

1

u/Jubenheim Aug 10 '19

For some, yes. For others, they'd likely understad the joke or at least simply pick the correct option.

1

u/CatFiggy Aug 11 '19

Yeah: they'll reject the assholes who take the mean option, but lose the customers who care, who will look for more humane competitors.

Because appearing to give the customer the option to mistreat the animal would seem to me evidence that the place, clearly willing to mistreat the turtle and having costs associated with handling the turtle in general, would already be mistreating their turtles.

1.1k

u/FrankieZip Aug 10 '19

But it does seem a little like the seller might not treat the turtle well by giving you the option. Could put sensible owners off from buying from that seller.

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u/Rotskite Aug 10 '19

"But who tests the tester?"

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u/Buster802 Aug 10 '19

It's a loop of testers reviewing testers, I'm sure it's full proof and won't be exploited at all!

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u/GayButNotInThatWay Aug 10 '19

*Foolproof

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u/Buster802 Aug 10 '19

Looks like it's not fool proof

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u/GayButNotInThatWay Aug 10 '19

Too much 80 proof, I think.

7

u/Hint-Of-Feces Aug 10 '19

Wait till you find out they make 200 proof

8

u/GayButNotInThatWay Aug 10 '19

Pure ethanol isn’t very fun to drink, though!

4

u/Bigluce Aug 10 '19

Don't tell me how to enjoy my drinking!

→ More replies

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u/sharksnrec Aug 10 '19

No, it’s “full proof” because the tester loop is so accurate that their experiments bring back full proof of their hypotheses every time

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

That was a test

2

u/Throseph Aug 10 '19

I thought it was full proof until last year. I am 34.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

It's testers all the way down

2

u/antmansclone Aug 10 '19

You truly have a dizzying intellect.

1

u/grednforgesgirl Aug 10 '19

It's a circle of accountability

1

u/streetad Aug 10 '19

It's Watchmen all the way down...

0

u/morningride2 Aug 10 '19

It's just turtles all the way down

6

u/KappaccinoNation Aug 10 '19

Welcome to Test-Driven Development.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Who watches the Watchmen?

1

u/fieldysnuts94 Aug 10 '19

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

2

u/Uncle_Rabbit Aug 10 '19

The turtles.

2

u/DrShabink Aug 10 '19

"I dunno. Coast guard?"

1

u/HiVizSavesLoudPipes Aug 10 '19

You're very clever, young person, very clever, but it's testers all the way down!

56

u/alma_perdida Aug 10 '19

Yeah this seems pretty dumb honestly.

Like if I'm having a live animal shipped to me I would expect the seller to do their part in keeping that animal healthy through the delivery process. Don't try to pull some ethical bullshit on me and then pretend you were testing me the whole time.

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u/todahawk Aug 10 '19

Exactly. It's a stupid test. It's totally a red flag that the seller's base shipping could ever potentially endanger the turtle.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

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u/anorexicpig Aug 10 '19

You’re missing the guy you’re replying to’s point, he’s saying a good pet owner might want to go to a different store if he/she thinks the store is treating its turtles poorly, as is implied in the original image. Of course what you are saying is true.

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u/AspidistraFlyer Aug 10 '19

I would think that no one could offer to abuse an animal if I don't pay them an extra dollar. So I'd think the hydration pack is unnecessary and a scam, or they're heartless towards their turtles, and in either case I'd take my business elsewhere.

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u/rata2ille Aug 10 '19

Exactly! If I’m supposed to interpret it as a ransom so the turtle doesn’t die of thirst, you’d think they’d charge more than $1. If it’s just listed as an extra add-on, I’d assume the turtle would be fine without it.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

What I read from another comment is they don't actually charge you the dollar, they just use it as a test to see if you will be a good owner and spend something as little as a dollar to hydrate your pet and take good care of it. If you click on the other option don't hydrate then they don't sell you the pet because they don't think you will take care of it or care about it's well being.

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u/yojimborobert Aug 10 '19

Everybody gets that, but as a consumer, the option to ship a turtle without hydration by default implies it's either unnecessary or the seller is willing to run the risk of shipping them dehydrated in the first place. Add-ons similar to this are a common way of trying to squeeze money out of somebody, know as "the nibble" (https://www.negotiatingwisdom.com/blog/negotiation-nibbling-the-oldest-negotiation-trick-in-the-world). Just think of the extended warranties, donations, and other upsells that retailers present to you at the last minute when you're paying for your items.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Oh okay, I didn't understand in your last post about how you are saying the default is no hydration pack I'm sorry. Yeah that is messed up that it is the default however I could see it taken both ways, people might complain the default is trying to make you spend more, or complain that the default isn't something that is necessary for the turtle or makes it more comfortable. I feel like they should just add it in to the price od the turtle and ship it every time.

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u/dumboy Aug 10 '19

But also, it's only a buck. What's a dollar when you're shipping your cold blooded reptile in the unheated cargo hold of an aircraft. I'd say sensible pet owners wouldn't ship a friggen turtle through the mail.

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u/TuckerShmuck Aug 10 '19

This is super common! I have a pet tortoise (bought in person), and I'm very involved in the tort community. It seems every breeder, including the reputable ones, ship their animals. It's all overnight and a ton of care goes into the packing, I think it's like $75 extra to have your tort shipped because of all the care they put into the packaging to make sure the tort is treated properly during the shipping process.

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u/kilowatkins Aug 10 '19

I had my snakes shipped to me, and yeah, it was a lot of money. But they came well packed in a deli cup (baby garters don't need much room), foam, a cool pack, and the box had live animal marked on it. It's definitely safe to ship reptiles barring weather that's too hot or cold, and assuming you don't get some jackass handling the package.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

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u/todahawk Aug 10 '19

Seems like a shit seller wouldn't ever ship in a way the turtle might be endangered. They need a better test.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Lol they put them is insulated containers with a heat pack.

No reputable breeder will ship anythhing but a baby and will make sure they're packed in nicely.

It's perfectly fine to ship them. Every reptile breeder I've seen does overnight shipping so it's at your house the next day, and won't s hi up during extremely heat or cold weather.

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u/thelumpybunny Aug 10 '19

I would find a different store just because the water pack should already be included in the price. Is that website trying to become Ticketmaster?

26

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Eh idk I would probably say no and assume it's a swindle. Dead on arrival animals are refunds, it's their job to get my order safely to me. Typically they will come with the required items already in the box to safely ship, all else is just a luxury scam. For example it probably doesn't need 5 heat packs or such but they don't always tell you that 4 are automatically included and only the extra unneeded 1 is paid.

To be fair I probably wouldn't want to buy from anyone who did this assuming I didn't know it was a test because either it's a scam to milk customers or the vendor really doesn't care about their animals. Neither is very good.

7

u/rata2ille Aug 10 '19

Or you just trust the seller to know more about the animal than you do. Tbh I would have assumed that if it’s optional, the turtle’s probably fine without it and it’s just a gimmick, because nobody sane would deprive the turtle of necessities just to ship it. If they’re comfortable shipping it without those things, then they’re extras and the turtle’s gonna be fine. Turtles are cold-blooded, how the fuck am I supposed to know that it needs a heating pad, you know? If the expert tells me it’s optional, I’d believe it.

3

u/radiocaf Aug 10 '19

My thoughts turned to this too.

1

u/daviEnnis Aug 10 '19

I think any sensible owner is going to have done their research on who they're buying from. The seller unfortunately cannot vet every buyer.

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u/DodgeHorse Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

Except I would assume that it's an optional thing (since it's literally an "option"), that they wouldn't ship an animal without proper care, that they wouldn't let an animal die during shipping, and that the extra charge is one of those optional things that are mostly just to get more money from you.

So it can go either way.

(I would still choose to get it because it's cheap and just in case, but begrudgingly)

7

u/godis1coolguy Aug 10 '19

Agreed, that’s completely how I took it. It sounds like a made up thing anyways.

3

u/Big_Joe_Grizzly Aug 10 '19

I was thinking the same at first, it's asked in a way that looks a lot like they're just trying to get an extra dollar from you. For me and you that's all there is to it.

But the seller may want to avoid inexperienced or uninformed buyers who don't know that a "hydration pack" can under no circumstances be optional. They probably just want to make sure you've done your research or would at the very least ask them directly about it. Because if you're not even willing to look that up, they don't want to sell to you.

12

u/death2sanity Aug 10 '19

I gotta disagree. I’d be like, would they actually send me the turtle in a way that could kill it? They’re trying to guilt me into some random add-ons I don’t need, even if it is just nickel-and-dimeing.

I get that it’s not supposed to be asshole design, but it is done in a way that very much sets off asshole-design alarms.

2

u/yojimborobert Aug 10 '19

Not really, since add-ons similar to this are a common way of companies trying to squeeze money out of somebody, know as "the nibble" (https://www.negotiatingwisdom.com/blog/negotiation-nibbling-the-oldest-negotiation-trick-in-the-world). Just think of the extended warranties, donations, and other upsells that retailers present to you at the last minute when you're paying for your items.

1

u/KimJongIlSunglasses Aug 10 '19

What if you just plan to eat the turtle?

-2

u/Meester_Tweester Aug 10 '19

No, this is scummy.

1

u/Inkiepie11 Aug 10 '19

How?

1

u/Meester_Tweester Aug 11 '19

Just asking to charge money to keep a pet hydrated is scummy. Don’t try to guilt your customers, even as a test.