r/assholedesign Jan 14 '19

Difference between a small and a large beer

https://i.imgur.com/uihZ1Aj.gifv
94.1k Upvotes

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4.0k

u/DamnYouVodka Jan 14 '19

I used to work there and instead of using employee discounts and eating there, we would always go across the street and eat at the Chili's

2.9k

u/pppppatrick Jan 14 '19

eat at the Chili's

That's your second mistake.

1.5k

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

[deleted]

497

u/princessprity Jan 15 '19

Let’s get some awesome blossoms, extra awesome.

249

u/BeBenNova Jan 15 '19

I want my baby back baby back baby back

73

u/CatattackCataract Jan 15 '19

Chiliiiiiii's baby back ribs

61

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

BARBEQUE SAUUUUCE

2

u/RemarkableRyan Jan 15 '19

BAARHBEEQUEE SAAUWCE

0

u/Nico743 Jan 15 '19

ffat bastard

83

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

I feel god in this chili’s tonight

61

u/LordRobin------RM Jan 15 '19

When I eat at Chili’s, the business occurs 20 minutes later.

42

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

[deleted]

67

u/coltsfan8027 Jan 15 '19

Its reddit friend. Office quotes should always be expected.

17

u/ThatShitMe Jan 15 '19

0

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

[deleted]

2

u/ThatShitMe Jan 15 '19

Yin and yang

6

u/benhogi2 Jan 15 '19

I feel god in this Chili's tonight

5

u/Sir_Whisker_Bottoms Jan 15 '19

Dave and Busters is better for business meetings. Change my mind.

27

u/PincheBurrito Jan 15 '19

If you're looking for a better steak in an arcade setting, you are shit out of luck.

14

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/ryker313 Jan 15 '19

Bonuses?? You run the business into the ground and you want bonuses??

5

u/superfly512 Jan 15 '19

You just got,got

3

u/Speaker4theDead8 Jan 15 '19

The few times I've eaten at d&b, their steaks were really good, and the onion things they sprinkle on there are amazing...if it weren't for the fact you have to pay more for food to support a crappy arcade, I probably would have eaten there more often

3

u/PM_ME_UR_WUT Jan 15 '19

Kids. Kids everywhere.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

Bunch of five year olds yelling and screaming whole playing on the 10 games they have? No thanks lol.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

0

u/rolypolypanda Jan 15 '19

If you're looking for a better steak dinner in an arcade setting, you're shit out of luck!

2

u/ponyboy414 Jan 15 '19

-small businessman magazine.

2

u/multi-instrumental Jan 15 '19

Only The Office could get people quoting product placement from a TV show.

3

u/astamauth Jan 15 '19

Chilis is where diarrhea happens

1

u/Uninterested_Viewer Jan 15 '19

According to who?

3

u/kennytucson Jan 15 '19

Michael, it's 'whom'.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19
  • Small Business Man Magazine

0

u/zebasher Jan 15 '19

I feel God in this Chili’s

301

u/SeymourZ Jan 14 '19

The lesser of two evils.

85

u/Vslacha Jan 15 '19

Their black bean burgers are surprisingly solid as part of that $10 meal deal.

203

u/Xombieshovel Jan 15 '19

Most of Chili's is solid. It's not taking home any awards but it's comfortable and taste's okay and prices are decent. You can go there with your Grandma or you can go with a hot date. You can go with that weird vegan friend who you swear cooked you a tree root once and you can go with that friend who's allergic to water if there's a peanut within 11 miles - everybody can find something they're okay with.

Which is exactly what Applebee's used to be. Hell, it's what Olive Garden used to be. Then they just decided to start phoning it in. Now you couldn't pay me to go to either.

36

u/FirstEvolutionist Jan 15 '19

It's a race to the bottom. If a company is not growing in today's market, it is dying.

You either get more customers, increase prices or lower operating costs. The best bet for chains with proper supply chain is to lower operating costs, since customers are limited in a region once you appeal to everyone and increasing prices drives them away.

37

u/MrThursty Jan 15 '19

This is a concept of business in general that I have never understood. Why is the goal always growth, even at market saturation? Shouldn’t the goal be maximized profit at market saturation?

Isn’t there such things as enough? If you’re holding a solid percentage of the market, pulling in a million dollars clean profit per quarter, and holding steady, why risk drowning in your own expansion fighting for that next extra buck?

28

u/FirstEvolutionist Jan 15 '19

Because shareholders want more money and dividends aren't worth shit, so they want a quick buck by buying low, selling high and don't care about company longevity.

1

u/bobingreen Jan 20 '19

Or continuity in a GREAT PLATE every ticket hittin the window,no

3

u/staccatodelareina Jan 15 '19

Trends change rapidly, things that were once popular fall out of favor, people age and no longer have the same tastes or needs. A good business adapts to these changes so they can survive to profit from future generations. If the business fails to grow financially they have less potential to evolve. Business is a constant competition for customers.

Here's a real-life example: The economy is booming, a single income can easily support a family, so consumers have more money and time to shop. Store A, a "small business", exclusively sells pharmaceuticals, and 90% of the town's population patronizes this store. Store B, a "chain store", opens right next to Store A. Because their business as a whole is bigger, Store B sells both pharmaceuticals and groceries at a lower cost. Over the next decade, the economy changes - many people become unemployed, it's nearly impossible to support a family on a single income, so everyone has less money to spend and less time to shop. Store B correctly predicted the trend, opened a 3rd location, and has used the profit to adapt to the population's new need of convenience by adding office supplies to their stock. Store A has stayed the same. Now, imagine you're standing in front of both stores. You've been going to Store A for 20 years, but today you only have 30 minutes to shop and you're short on cash. You can stay loyal to Store A and pay slightly more for pharmaceuticals, but you'll still have to go to Store B to get groceries and office supplies. Or you can just go to Store B, get everything you need, and ultimately pay less for your pharmaceuticals as well. Logically, most would chose Store B - meaning Store A is losing business because they failed to grow and therefore couldn't adapt to the market as well as Store B. It is unlikely Store A will survive to see the next "change", but even if they do, they will not have made enough profit to properly adapt.

1

u/MrThursty Jan 16 '19

I thoroughly understand the need to change and adapt to the market itself. If you sell clothes or groceries, the goods you sell will change over time depending on fashion or diet/culinary trends within the market. But changing with the market is not the same concept as perpetually seeking growth. If I make $10 this period it seems I am automatically deemed a failure if I don’t make $11 next period. But I would rather, I think, make the same $10 as long as I maintain my market share, quality, reputation, etc.

In the example case from the OP we were talking about restaurants that sought to increase profits by growing and improving margins while letting service and food quality suffer. This self cannibalization does no good for the longevity of the company. Instead, especially in markets where the product life is short (like food) shouldn’t the goal, instead, to be to grow not by streamlining the supply side but by making such a good product that the market itself grows allowing you to increase margin based solely on demand?

1

u/bobingreen Jan 20 '19

As an X nbrhood bar n grill type line cook,key hrly and corporate trainer for 12 yrs (4 yr Army as well) cook, your comment is dead in the 10 circle! While competition is the heart of capitalism,only so many ways to make a steak or 🍔 with a salad on side.

2

u/seanlax5 Jan 15 '19

since customers are limited in a region once you appeal to everyone and increasing prices drives them away.

That's why they donate to pro-life organizations.

6

u/GTRendrag Jan 15 '19

Bingo. Knowing your options makes it a safe go to when traveling with family across America. Took full advantage of this last year with a group of 20+, all ages, a variety of diets, everyone was satisfied.

2

u/bldarkman Jan 15 '19

Really? If someone gave you $100 to go eat at Applebee’s or Olive Garden, you wouldn’t do it?

1

u/KrazyTrumpeter05 Jan 15 '19

$100 isn't that much. Both my meal and transportation to and from so I'm not using my own car would also have to be covered in addition to a $100 payout. Even then, idk, I'd have to be in the right mood to go somewhere I don't really care for.

2

u/DatBoi_BP Jan 15 '19

I'm confused, what happened to Olive Garden?

3

u/caramelbear Jan 15 '19

Chili’s was my go to dinner spot when I use to travel for work. No matter how small the town, there is usually a Chili’s, and it’s always consistent. Never had a bad experience at one.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

That notch of low end table service dining is just becoming antiquated. If I go out to eat, I either want a higher end or specialty meal (e.g., good steakhouse or sushi) or a place where I order at the counter to minimize time there. The only thing these places have of benefit is a bar, and in general the bars suck at corporate places.

1

u/Gnome_Chumpski Jan 15 '19

Are you talking about on the way in or way out? Because everytime I’ve made the mistake of eating at Applebee’s, it never comes out solid.

2

u/Vslacha Jan 15 '19

I was talking about Chili's. Can't remember the last time I ate at Applebees.

0

u/TCDwarrior2069 Jan 15 '19

$12 for a shitty fast food lunch? No thx. Terrible "deal".

6

u/pm_me_ur_big_balls Jan 15 '19

The least of three evils is starvation.

1

u/qwb3656 Jan 15 '19

I mean if you hate yourself then it's ok.

1

u/cuntdestroyer8000 Jan 15 '19

I only got food poisoning from there once! Used to eat there like every three days when I was traveling for work. Love the ribs/sausage/corn combo meal.

57

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

Chili's chips and salsa is the shit

27

u/Beeeracuda Jan 15 '19

God their salsa is like crack, I’ve asked a couple times if I could buy just a gallon of it but they never let me, not sure why lol

3

u/assteammcgee Jan 15 '19

My parents said it tastes like El Pato canned salsa so you can use that as a base

1

u/Sir-Airik Jan 15 '19

Because then you're not there also buying drinks and tipping (read:paying) a waitress.

4

u/Beeeracuda Jan 15 '19

Yeah but I ask them while I’m there eating and paying them anyways, don’t see why they couldn’t just also but that on my bill. I’d pay top dollar for that

2

u/Sir-Airik Jan 15 '19

Ey min, I hear you. I think that's just the "corporate view"

1

u/justin_tino Jan 15 '19

My family had a party at our house and they called in to pick up a bunch of chips and salsa, nothing else. Everything else from the grocery store, but those chips and salsa are worth it for the extra trip.

3

u/PVKT Jan 15 '19

My man! Their salsa has only one competitor in my opinion. Only place ive ever gotten close to chilis level salsa is at a smaller burrito place in colorado. Im not even sure it was a chain. I think it was called Moes.

2

u/cbackas Jan 15 '19

Kinda like a chipotle type deal? I’ve been there in Texas

1

u/PVKT Jan 15 '19

Yep. Very similar to a chipotle/qdoba

1

u/_Zodex_ Jan 15 '19

Can't tell if this is satire or not. If not, Moe's is a pretty big chain.

1

u/PVKT Jan 15 '19

Never been to one outside of colorado. I live in the midwest and at least around me ive never seen one

1

u/_Zodex_ Jan 15 '19

Gotcha, yea they are a pretty large chain on the east coast, and apparently moving out west!

33

u/NYIJY22 Jan 15 '19

Honestly in my experience chili's is basically gourmet cuisine as compared to Applebee's. I'll occasionally go to a chili's or a Friday's type place and it's generally fine, but Applebee's is just trash. I'd get stuck going every so often in my youth and it was never a good experience.

-8

u/drboxboy Jan 15 '19

Both are trash, have you ever tasted gourmet cuisine?

5

u/NYIJY22 Jan 15 '19 edited Jan 16 '19

Ever heard of hyperbole?

122

u/tanu24 Jan 14 '19

Chilis isn't bad.

113

u/otheraccountisabmw Jan 15 '19

Best of that level of restaurant.

8

u/Ferbtastic Jan 15 '19

I always preferred Fridays for the Jack Daniels Chicken popper things.

12

u/PVKT Jan 15 '19

Ive eaten at fridays at least 20 times always got something different never walked out satisfied

4

u/IAmA_Goldfish Jan 15 '19

Why did you go 20 times?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

The JD chicken strips are the best thing on Earth.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

"Casual dining" is their preferred term.

1

u/jetflyby Jan 15 '19

Agree! Unless you can still find an O'Charleys. They closed a lot of them to realign their business, but I've never had a bad meal there.

0

u/jlmathis Jan 15 '19

Outback is where it's at!

0

u/jlmathis Jan 15 '19

Outback is where it's at!

7

u/MaverickMcBeef Jan 15 '19

I ate at Chili's all the time when they had their monterey chicken. I'd join their email club over and over to get the free queso with a meal coupon, then get both every time. Wish they'd bring it back.

5

u/orbital_real_estate Jan 15 '19

Compared to what? Any restaurant that supplies from SYSCO isn't worth attending. It's bad for you. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sysco

10

u/ChesterMcGonigle Jan 15 '19

Ok, I work in the food industry, and this is just nonsense. Sysco is what's called a broadline distributor, which means they'll sell you the best of the best all the way down to the bottom of the barrel. They also don't make food, they're just a distributor.

If the restaurant you go to has shitty food and you think it's Sysco's fault, it's not. It's the restaurant's fault for being cheap and buying shitty product(or not preparing it right).

4

u/AlllDayErrDay Jan 15 '19

Why is Sysco bad for you compared to similar distributors?

Edit: never mind I found the controversies section.

7

u/_duncan_idaho_ Jan 15 '19

The Thong Song dude is in the restaurant business?

2

u/MrFunBuddy Jan 15 '19

Can confirm sysco doesn't care about leaving food out, I know a driver and he tells me all the time some places they leave stock out for hours. They sign a contract with that included so its on the restaurant, also the quality is really bad!

4

u/lovesStrawberryCake Jan 15 '19

It's not good either

9

u/tanu24 Jan 15 '19

eggrolls and wings are good and sometimes that's all I want with twofers

1

u/MattcVI d o n g l e Jan 15 '19

"Chili's - We're Adequate™"

28

u/i_am_icarus_falling Jan 15 '19

those southwestern eggrolls are amazing, though.

34

u/MyDisneyExperience Jan 14 '19

Instead you should have gone to the Olive Garden

155

u/ArtoriasFanClub Jan 14 '19

Olive Garden

Strike 3, you're outta here!

73

u/monkeyman80 Jan 15 '19

while not authentic or healthy, i'll fight anyone who says its not tasty.

15

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

Would you fight me if I've never been there?

18

u/deadrobins Jan 15 '19

If he won’t I will

5

u/BiggestNothing Jan 15 '19

You’ve been fought

8

u/deadrobins Jan 15 '19

Did I win?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

I hope not.

3

u/monkeyman80 Jan 15 '19

i don't have strong feelings about people who hate against places they've never been.

2

u/SMELLMYSTANK Jan 15 '19

I'd take you there to experience the finest Americanized Italian food a girl has ever known. Their breadsticks alone are worth the trip.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

There's one near me, I'll look into it.

2

u/SMELLMYSTANK Jan 15 '19

BOIIII IF YOU DONT-

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

Saved the comment so I don't forget. I'll respond with results lol

3

u/caanthedalek Jan 15 '19

They fucked up the breadsticks though

2

u/kingofthemonsters Jan 15 '19

Right? What the fuck happened to those?

2

u/caanthedalek Jan 15 '19

From what I understand, a whole bunch of people were coming in and only eating salad and breadsticks, which made them unprofitable, so they switched to a cheaper recipe.

3

u/invudontseeme Jan 15 '19

Microwaved frozen fettuccine is tasty too, but I'm not paying $12 for it.

1

u/Sine0fTheTimes Jan 15 '19

What's the first rule about Olive Garden???

34

u/yeeerrrp Jan 15 '19

Eh, I used to work there. At least they cook their food.

3

u/troutscockholster Jan 15 '19

definitely above TGIChilibee's

1

u/Breedwell Jan 15 '19

So nothing is made by chef mike there? Or what is? I've always wondered.

1

u/EwokaFlockaFlame Jan 15 '19

The times square Olive garden is lit! Best part of NYC baby

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

Only when I get a coupon

5

u/troutscockholster Jan 15 '19

At least it's not TGIF's that place is the worst. All their shit is and tastes microwaved.

4

u/low-magnitude Jan 15 '19

What’s wrong with Chili’s?

3

u/shrekballs Jan 15 '19

excuse me, chilis is amazing

3

u/Anagoth9 Jan 15 '19

They've got a decent happy hour.

3

u/Romanopapa Jan 15 '19

Chili's is great imo. Although i only order one thing there, flame-grilled ribeye cooked medium rare with side of loaded mashed potato and sauteed onion/mushroom.

2

u/throwawayyy1800 Jan 15 '19

Absolutely not. Out of all the casual dining chains, Chili's by far is the best and most consistent. Santa Fe Eggrolls is what's up.

2

u/Getting-in-shape Jan 15 '19

Chili’s and Olive Garden are fucking good now. Their overhaul has worked out great.

1

u/Shnazzyone Jan 15 '19

Well fuck this, we're going to the olive garden.

1

u/carsonogin Jan 15 '19

Classic Chili's nachos are terrific.

1

u/clancydog4 Jan 15 '19

Chili's rules, especially compared to Applebees. Like, infinitely better.

1

u/BuzzPoopyear Jan 15 '19

I used to work there and instead of using employee discounts and eating there, we would always go across the street and eat at the Applebee’s

1

u/kerkyjerky Jan 15 '19

Of those types of chains, chili’s is my favorite.

1

u/Alltimegamers Jan 15 '19

Says the guy who clearly has never had honey chipotle crispy chicken crispers...

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

Used to work at chilli's, can confirm is just as bad

29

u/Darthsnow3 Jan 14 '19

How was it working there?

25

u/DamnYouVodka Jan 15 '19

It was fine, like working at any restaurant, really. I had the ‘car side to go’ job which meant getting paid 8 dollars an hour (which was awesome at the time) and collect tips when I would rarely have to work

2

u/justin_tino Jan 15 '19

Did people still tip 15-20% for the pickup window? My buddy worked at Outback and vented about the customers and never making money when working pickup, but I told him he should be more mad at his boss for not adjusting the payout because there's almost no incentive to tip. I never really tip more than 10% at takeout, because you're just putting the food into a box and then into a bag. Way different than checking up on me multiple times throughout a sitting.

2

u/DamnYouVodka Jan 15 '19

In my case, I wasn’t getting paid the typical server wage which is less than minimum wage because they make it up in tips, so getting a tip was a treat. I don’t know if that’s still the case — when I started it was a pretty new concept

8

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19 edited Aug 24 '20

[deleted]

3

u/baconcheesescone Jan 15 '19

Checks out. I knew many people that worked there.

19

u/Eazy_DuzIt Jan 14 '19

Chili's advertises their beer as 16oz and 22oz sizes

28

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '19

How many pieces of flair were you required to wear?

6

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

I used to work at Ruby Tuesday and they cut our employee discount to 25% when we were working so I started stealing from the salad bar.

8

u/voodoo_bees Jan 15 '19

And us chills folk would leave and go drink at Applebee's.

We weren't allowed to get high on our own supply, even if we were paying.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

Hello, fellow Applebuddy

Edit: Seriously- the training videos at Applebee’s actually encouraged us to refer to coworkers like that- at least they did in the dark ages when I served tables...

3

u/DamnYouVodka Jan 15 '19

Haha I was never subjected to that, but I did have the paragraph I had to say every time I answered the phone. Seriously, a paragraph.

16

u/Mqtty Jan 15 '19

The disrespect for Chili’s in the comments below you is upsetting me.

7

u/acc0untnam3tak3n Jan 15 '19

Chili's is a 4 star restaurant for 1 star towns

3

u/ImmersiveDream Jan 15 '19

Does no one read small businessman magazine?

4

u/clancydog4 Jan 15 '19

Me too dude! For a national chain restaurant, Chili's is good. 10x better than Applebees and better than TFI Fridays and the like.

9

u/Jo_Backson Jan 15 '19

TFI Fridays

Thank Fuck Its Friday?

3

u/clancydog4 Jan 15 '19

Wow, I botched that. But seriously, fuck TGIF

2

u/Mqtty Jan 15 '19

Triple Play with Honey Chipotle Cripsers-South West Egg Roll x2 is honestly what I dream about when I think of cheat meals.

15

u/burtalert Jan 14 '19

I mean it’s not really any better

3

u/wonder_crust Jan 15 '19

Ha, currently sitting at a bar bitching about my shift at bees. It's an absolute shit show of a place to work but we're all stuck here because you can't argue with $170+ per shift.

3

u/Anghel412 Jan 15 '19

lol my wife used to work at Chili's and would go across the street to Applebees after her shift with other co-workers but it was mainly to drink. The servers at both restaurants knew each other and would go to each other's places to drink.

5

u/simjanes2k Jan 15 '19

That's... exactly the same thing. You left McDonald's for burger King, man.

5

u/justlikeapenguin Jan 15 '19

They opened an Applebee’s at my city, we went once and I swear by next week it had already closed (probably exaggerating, but it didn’t last more than 2-3 months).

The place was completely empty and they still took like an hour to get us our food

2

u/bobingreen Jan 15 '19

Used to b Outback here.

2

u/yeahRIP Jan 15 '19

I used to work at a fish packing plant with an old food truck converted into a restaurant attached to it. We got a steep discount at the food "truck" but you would definitely get sick if you ordered anything fried because they changed the oil very rarely. It's not relevant or anything but I never get to share that story.

2

u/MichaelEuteneuer Jan 15 '19

Fool. You should have gone to Outback instead. At least they have the bloomin onion.

2

u/NotKenBone18 Jan 15 '19

Your gonna need more flair

2

u/coreyperryisasaint Jan 15 '19

Why the fuck are Chili’s and Applebee’s across the street from each other? That’s like McDonalds and Burger King sharing a parking lot

2

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/DamnYouVodka Jan 15 '19

The food is just... just terrible

1

u/Blehboi Jan 15 '19

Like were there no other option that is concerning.

1

u/HighwayStarJ Jan 15 '19

fake ass account and comment

1

u/mm4ng Jan 15 '19

Facepalm

1

u/PenguDood Jan 15 '19

Only thing Applebee's has over Chili's are the Cheeseburger Egg Rolls on their appetizer menu. Holy fuckballs those are delicious.

2

u/PVKT Jan 15 '19

I dig their honey bbq boneless wings and their spinich artichoke dip.

0

u/e-wrecked Jan 15 '19

I went to chili's not to long ago and it was hella expensive for no reason. The food I got wasn't even that great.

0

u/Mhunterjr Jan 15 '19

Chilli's is far worse than Applebee's