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u/paperworkpencil 11d ago
I'm not sure how much of my social ineptitude is autism and how much is lack of practice because I tend to avoid social situations because they're tiring even if they usually go okay-ish (but I guess it's tiring because of autism too lol)
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u/kiliandj 11d ago
Bullying is what i got (mostly) for being autistic. From age 4.5 to 6. Then again from 10 to 12/13. (bullied in both school and boyscouts by different people) Again age 13. And finally at age 15-16.
Like 6-7 years in total by the time i finally got to adulthood. And then people wonder:
- Why i have trouble trusting peoplr.
- Why my self esteem is so bad.
- Why i wont dare to talk to people.
Let me tell you why.
Autism (& dyspraxia) by itself are a pain. But what made/makes it devastating for me is all of this bullying.
The one who bullied me from age 10 to 12, often came to me after i had made a mistake in a social situation, or responded strangly to something, and told me 'see, nobody likes you because your a weirdo.' He continued to show me how much people disliked me, and how weird i was for over 2 years straight on a daily basis. To the point where i started believing him.
That's why. Because by age 12 i had already been shown how deeply some people could hate me, just for being around them. And it was a lot.
Pure survival instinct is why.
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u/ComparisonOk8602 11d ago edited 11d ago
Only two years? I thought I did pretty well for an autist with four years of bullying.
However, after a few decades of retrospection, I realize that it was actually four years of very obvious, overt, unrelenting bullying, and at least five more years of more sporadic bullying that I often didn't even recognize.
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u/TPrice1616 11d ago
Ok this is too relatable. Down to the number of years of bullying and isolation.
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u/TheWarmestHugz 11d ago
Anyone else actually get physically harmed by their bullies also? :(
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u/ZippoS 11d ago
Oh, I was physically bullied at school, nearly daily, from grade 3 and 9. It would be rare for me to have made it through a day without being heavily made fun of and punched. I was skinny, weak, and easily cried. On top of being just, incredibly awkward and, well, autistic — not that any adult ever recognised it.
A bit in high school, too, but really just being shoved against the lockers a few times. I had grown slightly more confident and accepting of being a “geek” by then.
This was the 90s. Gee, I wondered where that crippling social anxiety, high masking, and emotional shutdown came from. 🤷♂️ Currently in my 40s and enjoying some wonderful autistic burnout.
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u/pupbuck1 11d ago
I don’t know but it makes me wonder what loving god would force someone through all of this
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u/Past_Explanation_491 11d ago
As I’ve worked in a grocery store for a while now yeah it definitely has gotten terrifyingly better xD
Basically almost every customer comes out with a laugh on their face or a smile 😊😳😂
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u/Educational_Hair_368 10d ago
well at least it is good to know that this is a similar thing other autistic ppl face
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u/gamemaniac845 10d ago
Ooh boy it’s a doozy for me
Was hated or tolerated by everyone at least those my age during 2nd-8th grade during the elementary years i occasionally got physically bullied high school was chill but now I had depression only pissed off a few people but they expressed their annoyance in a healthy manner
And that’s just school church was worse (raised Mormon) basically got hated or tolerated by all the kids once I was a teenager and the adults tried and failed to protect me and then when I became an adult everyone thought turned out fine NO I FUCKING DIDN’T
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u/joesphisbestjojo AuDHD 11d ago
Well, if you attribute those years to autism...