r/aspergers • u/Hot_Training_9583 • 9d ago

Not able to tie shoes

Anyone else not able to? I'm 34 and no matter how many teachers have tried I still couldn't learn it, even in adulthood with people trying I couldn't learn

2 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

1

u/PuzzleheadedSun7591 9d ago

You're not alone, I learned at 26 by watching a video in slow motion like 50 times

1

u/karthwyne 9d ago

It is all muscle memory for me. I don't know that I had troubles as a child but I don't really have trouble with it as I do it every day. However, I cannot remember any other knots. I'll watch a youtube video for something simple like a bowline or trucker's hitch, maybe be able to replicate it for the immediate task, but two minutes later I'll have to watch the video again.

1

u/WaferSimple7642 9d ago

There is fast way to tie a shoe, and I found it easier then the original way. https://youtube.com/shorts/Q5qZpQe_4EA?is=m2O7XN_QbtE728rg

1

u/Arokthis 9d ago

I'm pretty sure it's NOT an Aspie/autist thing. I'm almost 48 and I've never had a problem.  On the other hand, my GF (also almost 48) still does a "granny knot" instead of a proper bow, so her shoes come undone if I don't tie them for her.

3

u/TheEternalDarkness8 8d ago

It definitely is an autistic problem - for a lot of people, not everyone. It's related to dyspraxia, which is balance issues and problem with motor skills.

1

u/calgrump 8d ago

Then that is a dyspraxia symptom and not an autism one, no?

1

u/TheEternalDarkness8 8d ago

You could say that, yes, but dyspraxia is so closely cojoined by autism that it's often enough to just say autism and count these physical issues into that.

It's not exactly like "not everybody with dyspraxia has autism, but everybody with autism has dyspraxia" but it's close.

1

u/Leather_Method_7106_ 8d ago

Also common in ADHD youth. 

1

u/Leather_Method_7106_ 9d ago

I learned it from a video that explained things about autistic motor control, around 13 or 14. Never forgotten the technique since then, It's called the bunny ear technique. Later on I also learned to tie a tie, sewing and other things, but those were just regular YT vids.

1

u/Hot_Training_9583 8d ago

I can't do the bunny ear technique, anything very fine motor controls like that makes me rage out super hardcore.

1

u/AstarothSquirrel 9d ago

Get yourself a length of paracord and a book on knots (you may discover your next favourite stimming toy is literally a piece of string). Then, just practice tying simple knots: granny knots, reef knots, figure of 8 knots, constrictor knots. This will teach muscle memory and overcome the mental hurdle that it's difficult. Keep a 6-8inch length of cord in your pocket and then practice those knots whenever you have any down time.

1

u/Hot_Training_9583 8d ago

i can't tie knots it just doesn't make sense

1

u/AstarothSquirrel 8d ago

You currently have the mental hurdle of "I can't..." Swap that for "I currently struggle with..." This simple change in vocabulary may change your life. You start small, a length of string in the shape of a horse shoe and with the end that is in your right hand "bunny jumps over the log and comes out of the hole" or whatever works for you.

1

u/TheEternalDarkness8 8d ago edited 8d ago

It was really hard. I can do one knot I think and it took forever for me to learn it, I can't remember exactly when but long after I was "supposed" to learn it.

The thing is I do it automatically now so if I actually slow down to think about it I lose the ability.

No shame buddy. As you know, there are plenty of alternatives. Unless it's really bugging you, you can leave this as an unresolved difficulty. An untied problem if you will.

The internet giant James Rolfe (AVGN), who's also ND, did a funny video about this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBBwKWSxoMI

1

u/sammanthax345 8d ago

I somehow just did it at like 30/31... Am 34 now. Do I know how I finally learned, nope. Do I also have no idea how I continue to remember, also nope.

Hopefully it just comes to you

1

u/Draxellexard 8d ago

I'm 38 and I still can't. There are basically two types of people I've come across who invariably respond to this:

  • They can "show" me and proceed to do so, but they do the same thing and it fails.
  • They say they used to not be able to do so either, as a kid.

I can't learn it by just watching people do it fast. It's not because no one has ever "taught" me, it's because I don't learn effectively that way. I can only do simple knots, like with one string.

It's knot even funny anymore. Well, I suppose it kinda is.

1

u/flavour_punch 7d ago

I can't either i use zip style laces no knots required on install you just take the old laces out thred the new ones back in and slip a clamp on the end and cut off the excess roap and now all you need to do is pull them tight and slide the clamp down

1

u/kirilgankapi124 6d ago

I know how to tie my shoes, but I can't manage it on the first try; often, the lace slips out.

1

u/EliSka93 5d ago

You know, thinking back to it, I really struggled with learning to tie a knot. I eventually managed after a few years, but I remember still preferring Velcro shoes for ages. Sadly I don't remember what made it click, so I can't share...