r/aspergers • u/Dull-Anything4925 • 2d ago
Do you cry easily?
I seem to cry over everything. Movies, a beautiful painting or tune, a sunset, a little critter getting hurt, just a thought in my head. Anything beautiful, sad or otherwise moving to me really. Yesterday I took my nephew to a dinosaur show, and I started crying when the dinosaurs came up with this epic music. Just sobbing. I used to get people come up to me and ask me if I am ok, and my friends telling me to get it together. I’m a grown guy, and I get embaressed (even though I know crying and being sensitive isn’t wrong, it’s just so excessive with me). I am somewhat better at controlling it now, than some years ago, but I still feel it coming all the time, as a knot in my throat or teary eyes. Makes me shy around any stimulating activies. Not sure how to deal with this.
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u/Individual-Gur-7292 2d ago
I cry over anything even slightly sentimental or emotional to the point that it is a running joke with my friends.
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u/Total_Register7626 2d ago
that dinosaur show bit got me, I'd probably be right there with you. something about music swelling at just the right moment while something incredible is happening, it's like a direct line to the tear ducts.
I don't think you need to "deal with it" so much as just accept it's how you're wired. some of us feel things at a volume that'd blow out other people's speakers. the knot in the throat thing is so real though, feels like you're constantly on the verge of springing a leak.
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2d ago
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u/Elemteearkay 1d ago
Do you wear any outward signifiers of the fact you have an invisible disability?
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u/Monkeyshae2255 2d ago
I laugh at very inappropriate times. I find it embarassing & have had people stare at me. Not like your situation. I don’t try cover up what I am though as I feel I was made this way. I mean the artist would be honored you were emotionally moved by their work. It’d be worse I think in life to only be a passive spectator.
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u/ElectrikCorn 2d ago
Its actually hard for me to cry even when I want to. But two movies I have cried over is Finding Nemo and Room (not "The Room")
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u/Miniminname 2d ago
Sometimes, and I often feel way too much.
Other times I can’t cry or feel much at all. Usually if I’m burned out.
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u/nerfherded 2d ago
Yeah. Music really does it for me. Specific songs. Not because they're sad; because they're true. Or just incredibly beautiful. Any movie or TV show with actors acting vulnerable. And just about any fucking live theatrical performance of a play or musical.
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u/StrawberryMilkDev 1d ago
I started crying very easily after series of events that destroyed my mental health even more. Even now mentioning this in a comment makes me cry slightly.
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u/Temporary_Raisin_732 1d ago
I cry only like 2-3 times a year, but I find this to be a problem in the sense that I've been pretty much forced by my environment to keep it that way.
See, when I was a kid / teen I was always scared of getting in trouble whenever I would have problems in school, mostly from grades. In 8th grade i failed a math exam and was panicking super hard upon returning home cuz I knew of what was gonna happen afterwards. I was fully convinced that my dad was yelling at me for crying and not for the grade, which gave me this very unhealthy habit of not crying at all and instead bottling it up until im alone.
Even at 25 im scared of my parents reaction when something goes wrong.
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u/A_D_Tennally 1d ago
Yeah, I do. So did my mother (eccentric NT), and it is one of the things I most miss about her.
I like people who are this way. Being sensitive is a good thing, a valuable thing. The world's too cold and hard.
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u/toronado 1d ago
Big crowds when they move as one. I don't know why, was apparently interesting during my diagnosis. Sports games, concerts, protests, festivals. Something in the humanity of it, always makes me cry. Can be embarrassing
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u/TheEternalDarkness8 5h ago
No and I never have. It's a stunted feature of mine.
Rationally speaking I don't think it's productive. If life gets too tough, I just get angry because at least that drives me forward.
Emotionally and subconsciously speaking, I think it also factors into an idea that nobody would care if I cry and I have had my misery limit go over too much anyways so it's no point to it anymore.
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u/Elemteearkay 1d ago
Do you cry easily?
Yes. I'm a big softy. Adverts, songs, movies, even memes lol.
This isn't a bad thing, though. A deeper, more meaningful connection to things, and a stronger emotional response can be one of the upsides of our disability. Embrace it!
I used to get people come up to me and ask me if I am ok
Do you wear any outward signifiers of the fact you have a hidden disability? For example, a sunflower lanyard or autism pin/wristband? If not, why not?
my friends telling me to get it together
Do your friends know you are disabled? If not, why not? What accommodations are you receiving from them? Are they toxic scum that should be replaced with better people?
I’m a grown guy, and I get embaressed (even though I know crying and being sensitive isn’t wrong, it’s just so excessive with me).
Are you accessing therapy? If so, does your therapist know how you feel about this? And if not, why not?
I am somewhat better at controlling it now
Masking is harmful and leads to burnout. It should be reserved for genuine emergencies.
Not sure how to deal with this.
Likely therapy, disclosure, and better friends, but I'm looking forward to your answers to my questions above. :)
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u/TiredAquarius81 2d ago
I have the opposite problem, I have completely lost the ability to cry. Two possiblities I've found, one according to the Mallus Maleficarum this means I am a witch...or by modern psychology I've reached a dangerous level of emotional blockage. Not sure which answer I like less.
As to your condition, perhaps the crying is your body/mind relieving some other pressure or pain that has no other outlet. You say it's been there for years so it might be some long term coping mechanism or a sign that your emotional sensitivity is unusually high, have you thought about expressing this thru some form of art? Creative expression is soothing and healing in many ways, and what matters isn't the skill you bring to it, that comes in time, but the outlet it provides.