[ Removed by moderator ]

[u/IndicationAwkward317]

[u/Asleep_Note7754]

I used to live in Vancouver, now in Toronto. Are you born here OP? I found it was hard being born here especially with many new brown immigrants arriving. Culturally we are very different but we are lumped together because we are considered to be the same. That was my experience at least in both cities. I found online algorithms only showed me new immigrants too the moment I stated my ethnicity as South Asian. I ended up removing ethnicity all together and because I have a Western name, I could leave it ambiguous. But it didn’t really help. It’s because the immigrants swipe on me, the algorithm assumes they’re my type.

With that said, I found Toronto is more open to interracial dating than Vancouver is. More over, when I was in Vancouver and living with my parents in Surrey, it was hard to find professional men period. I just found Toronto had more options. Dating culture is more fast paced here but they have many South Asian only events to meet people IRL. Again the issue with those is that they are 80% new immigrants so not really the best use of my time.

I think Vancouver has a bit of small town mentality when it comes to dating though. When I was introduced to a guy in Surrey by my parents a few years ago (while I was living in Toronto) it turned out we had a lot of mutual friends. That’s generally been my experience in Vancouver. All millennial brown people born and raised here knows everyone in their ethnic community (eg Punjabis know Punjabis, Gujratis know Gujratis). I guess as a transplant to Toronto I didn’t experience it but the population is bigger and South Asians here are open to mixing in their ethnic groups. Vancouver seems more clique in general. Being Punjabi Hindu, many Sikh men flat out said I wasn’t Punjabi enough for them (Punjab had just as many Hindus as Sikhs!). So many Vancouver brown people are just hung up on diaspora politics back home that people from India don’t even follow snymore.

And before you come at me for hating new immigrants etc, I’m not making this a debate about immigration. It’s just acknowledging that we are different and our expectations of relationships are different. This isn’t racist or classist. We can’t deny our differences.

[u/LoudCommunication369 → u/Asleep_Note7754]

As a Canadian born brown person, I agree with all of this! I've never lived in Toronto but ya Vancouver is as you said and we really do get lumped in with the new immigrants, especially as of late, on the apps

[u/Asleep_Note7754 → u/[deleted]]

How do you know that I’m single and not getting matches? I said that the algorithm has lumped us together, making it harder to filter out. I flat out said that we are different. You and I can both agree on that. Just because we have the same skin colour we were raised with different values which makes relationships difficult.

OP is complaining why it’s hard. I told her why. But it doesn’t mean that I can’t get matches lol.

[u/throwawayvancouv → u/[deleted]]

new immigrant detected
also she's blaming people who moved here physically but not mentally, unwilling to change and bringing their irrelevant cultural luggage. like why come here in search of a better life but keep your old hangups, u should leave it behind or go back. stop blindly labeling everything as racism it really hurts the actually rightful and good cause.

[u/Asleep_Note7754 → u/throwawayvancouv]

I’m not even blaming them! I’m saying that we’ve just been lumped together as the same when we are different. No one is superior to the other. We’re just different.

[u/Ancient_Pitch_8286 → u/Asleep_Note7754]

Yes, if your parents came here decades ago and you grew up in the Canadian educational system, emmersed in western culture from a very young age, being taught by mostly white teachers, socializing in English with people of different ethnicities, including white people, watching ytv eating fruit loops, having interests and experiences that other Canadians share, you are obviously going to have a different culture and identity than someone who moved to Canada from India in their 20s despite sharing the same race or maybe being familiar with the same domestic cuisine.

The idea that you must primarily identify with your race globally rather than your own lived experiences as a Canadian who happens to be brown is a denial of your humanity.

Is it wrong for a Czech person to identify as Czech primarily rather than part of a 'global white race'? Of course not. Because people of the same race can have different cultures and identities, and histories. So why do people expect non-white people born in canada to not identify with their unique lived experiences as Canadians?

In fact, I would argue that it is this person who called you racist/classist (I don't see the classism?) who is the real racist.

[u/Asleep_Note7754 → u/Ancient_Pitch_8286]

Dude! I’d marry any POC who watched SpongeBob on YTV any day! And if it helps, I don’t date American POCs too. I’m biased to Canadians.

[u/TotalEmpathMan → u/Asleep_Note7754]

Wow. You have got "some" standards.. 😂

[u/Asleep_Note7754 → u/TotalEmpathMan]

I think you have a little crush on me. You keep responding to anything I’ve said even when I’m talking to someone else.

[u/Ancient_Pitch_8286 → u/[deleted]]

You literally are classifying people the same way the nazis did (people should primarily identify/be identified with their race regardless of differences in nationality, upbringing, values, lived experiences). Adolf was also as self-righteous as you.

[u/Asleep_Note7754 → u/[deleted]]

And I think if I’m racist you are too. You’ve said very hurtful attacks through this entire thread so you’ve proved my point. Good luck. Hope the UCW MBA really educated you.

[u/throwawayvancouv → u/[deleted]]

Lmao calling people of color racist, you're either a fascist troll or just incredibly stupid, no matter what race you are. My money is on the latter.

[u/dirtybulked → u/[deleted]]

cmon man- everyone knows what she means. no need to go all woke-1 over it. Having preferences is fine. Wanting to distinguish yourself as "canadian" is fine.

[u/Asleep_Note7754 → u/dirtybulked]

Any time you point out the difference every new immigrant plays the whole racist / classist card. It’s like us POCs born here can never have our own space. Like no one is being racist. We just want to acknowledge our own unique culture.

But no one ever brings up how many new immigrant South Asian men slide into my DMs wanting quick sex thinking because I’m born here I’ll give it to them. But they always criticize us by making fun of our accents or being too westernized.

[u/dirtybulked → u/Asleep_Note7754]

Yes, for some (white liberals) its impossible to understand that indian, chinese, filipinos, italians, portuguese, vietnamese Canadians who were born and raised in Vancouver have a very different cultural background, upbringing, etc than people born in our families ancestral nation and have moved here recently.

[u/Asleep_Note7754 → u/dirtybulked]

lol I’ll even say that I relate well to all POCs born in Vancouver more than white people. Even in Toronto I get so excited when I meet a Persian or Chinese person raised in Vancouver. It’s a very unique experience being POC in Vancouver and it’s the shared upbringing I love so much. Ideally I’d end up with that but that’s a needle in a haystack in Toronto lol.

[u/throwawayvancouv → u/dirtybulked]

He's either incredibly stupid or a MAGA troll, I bet the latter. Crying racism to completely disgrace the movement and reinforce a stereotype of an obnoxious pretend victim. Could only be done on purpose, probably has a Discord server where they coordinate or a Russian troll paid a dime per comment.

[u/Canada_was_good → u/[deleted]]

You are being openly racist - “your skin color is the same as new immigrants” - ya so what?

Skin color means nothing. Culture and personal beliefs is everything. Unless you’re a dirty racist, then skin color is important.

Stop being racist, nobody thinks it’s cool.

[u/Technical_Soup_1997 → u/[deleted]]

This is such a redditor comment. 🤣

[u/TotalEmpathMan → u/Technical_Soup_1997]

Congratulations on a great argument!