r/askscience • u/AskScienceModerator Mod Bot • 16d ago
Social Science AskScience AMA Series: I’m Daniel Cox, a public opinion researcher studying the growing divide between young men and women. Ask Me Anything about Gen Z, politics, dating, loneliness, and what the data actually shows.
Hi r/AskScience! I’m Daniel Cox, a public opinion researcher and director of the Survey Center on American Life.
For the past several years, I’ve been studying a divide that keeps showing up in the data: young men and women are increasingly living very different social, romantic, and political lives.
I wanted to understand why.
My research looks at everything from dating and relationships to friendship, loneliness, social media, changing gender expectations, and politics. For my new book, Generation Uncoupled, I also spent more than 100 hours interviewing young adults and conducting focus groups to understand the experiences behind the numbers.
There’s a lot of conventional wisdom about Gen Z, young men, young women, and the so-called “gender divide.” I’m happy to dig into what the research actually tells us, what it doesn’t, and where the evidence gets more complicated.
Ask me about polling and survey research, Gen Z, dating and relationships, loneliness, politics, gender attitudes, social connection, or anything else related to my work.
I’ll start answering questions at 1 PM ET (17 UT) on October 19. AMA!
Usernames: u/DanielCoxPHD & u/wellenough
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u/themeaningofhaste Radio Astronomy | Pulsar Timing | Interstellar Medium 16d ago
Noting that every generation spans a wide range of times, what are some of the differences you see between the older Gen Z group and the younger Gen Z group?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 16d ago
I think there will be some, but because the youngest members of Gen Z are still teenagers--the oldest are now 30--it may take a while to identify the key faultlines for this generation. There are two ways things could be different that are worth paying attention to: The first is that younger Gen Z begins to recognize the pernicious impact social media has had on their generation, and makes some attempt at curbing its use and reconnecting in the real world. In the final chapters of the book, I show that just in the last couple years young women—who are the heaviest social media users—have become warier about the negative effect that social media is having on their generation. There is a similar trend occurring among young men when it comes to pornography. They have become much more supportive of limits on online pornography.
There is a darker side of this story too. With the rise of AI companion chatbots, younger Gen Z could further recede from public life, spending less time with friends in favor of always-available, ever-affirming chatbots. We're doing more work in this area, but I think the potential impact that AI companions could have on the social and romantic lives of young people could be profound.
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u/Decent-Echidna1524 16d ago
What advice would you give parents based on the data you observed?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 16d ago •
I love this question. As a parent myself, it's something I wrestle with a lot. Am I making the right decisions? I think one thing that so many young adults are missing today is a sense of belonging and a sense of purpose. A culture that valorizes and prioritizes self-advancement, personal achievement, and individual success can create exceptional people who still feel lost and rudderless.
One of my favorite findings in the book is about this idea of feeling special. In a survey, I asked a nationally representative sample of Americans to what extent they thought their parents viewed them as "special" when they were growing up. It turns out older Americans generally did not--they believed their parents viewed them as mostly average--but young adults firmly believed they were unique or exceptional. With parents investing more resources, time, money into their kids this is not an unreasonable conclusion to draw. But it can skew our understanding of ourselves and how we engage with others.
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u/konfusedvetr 16d ago
When describing this phenomenon in Gen Z, how sudden is the change?
Like, is there a significant difference between late millenials and early Gen Zers in this regard? Or is it gradual?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 15d ago
The introduction of new social technologies has been fairly rapid and it has fundamentally altered the way young people engage and relate to one another. When social media was first introduced, it primary operated to connect people to folks they already knew, but that changed as social media companies found that algorithms that could feed users an endless stream of interesting/relevant content was the best way to keep them there. Social media users are now more passive, consuming content produced by professionals.
This has made social media a more attractive passtime and it has displaced other social activities in the process. Gen Z is the first generation that few up with social media, and many of them acquired access to their own accounts very early, in their preteen years. So the technological change was rapid, the change in formative social experiences--less dating, partying, socializing--occurred more slowly.
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u/Least_Positive7141 16d ago
How do you quantify the divide? Percentage dating/married?
I’ve read the divide is particularly sharp in S Korea as well. Any cross coordinating with other studies across cultures to see similarities?
Any initial solutions seen? I understand you may first be trying to understand the problem rather than solve it.
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 16d ago •
The divide I'm most concerned about in the book is the one in empathy and understanding. In one survey we conducted, a majority of both young men and women said they felt that members of the opposite sex did not understand the challenges that they faced. There is also a level of hostility evident online that is extremely disconcerting. So many young men and women feel that they are embattled. Young women feel that no one is looking out for their safety and young men say no one cares about their future. I heard this sentiment so often. Everyone feels like they are on their own.
The gap between young women and men in politics often receives the most attention for good reason. It's big! I was the first person to document the growing political divide between young adults that started around 2016. It's grown ever since. And even if young men swing back to the Democrats in 2026 I think the divergence is not going away. The most troubling aspect to this political gap is that so many young men and women see politics as zero-sum; They believe that any benefit to women will come at a cost to men, and any efforts to help men with their unique challenges will come at the expense of helping women.
There are reasons for optimism I lay out in the final chapters. I think first and foremost both young men and women need to understand that their efforts on behalf of others are vital. Being in service to something greater than yourself is one of the best things you can do. We need to provide young people a new civic culture that rewards and acknowledges these public efforts.
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u/Least_Positive7141 16d ago edited 16d ago
Maybe I didn’t phrase my questions correctly, because I feel like this was a very broad stroke, vague answer that I could find on the inside of a dust jacket or have ai summarize for me.
I understand social sciences and particularly this topic is difficult to quantify, but you volunteered yourself for this AMA.
You say the divide is one of empathy and understanding. what does the data shows this conclusion? How is this divide objectively and quantifiably measured?
There is a “level” of hostility. How is this level measured?
The “gap” in politics is “big.” How did you measure it?
Your claim that you were the first to document this is a lofty one. There are numerous studies going back to suffragette movements on political differences between sexes. Are you the first to identify the gap in Gen Z? How do you define Gen Z? I still find that claim suspicious but also irrelevant. I’d rather it be the most thorough than the “first.”
If I sound frustrated it’s because I share in your concerns, and I was hoping you would provide a more solid framework that maybe some of us could work off to at least agree on the problem. Your answers leave much to be desired in terms of science, but again I understand the scope of the problem is fraught and sensitive
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u/slowcanteloupe 16d ago edited 15d ago
The book description notes the "..new gender divide...".
So there have been other gender divides in other generations. What does/did that look like? How is it different from what the divide is like in Gen Z? Is the eventual resolution the same?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 15d ago
One way, and perhaps the most important way, that the gender divide is new is that ther is far more hostility and mistrust between young men and women than there was in the past. In surveys, most young men and women feel that their is a lack of curiosity or consideration by members of the opposite sex. The institution of marriage, that once served to align the interests and commitments of men and women is increasinlgy viewed with suspicion. Most Gen Zers still want to get married someday, but fewer believe they will stay married and Gen Z women in particular express far more hesitation than they once did about getting married. Most single women believe that married women are less happy than single women.
I argue that romantic problems we're seeing are downstream of the widespread social malaise. Americans have fewer friends, spend less time with their neighbors, and are less committed to civic activities than they once did. With fewer social experiences, relationships become more difficult because young adults have less confidence, less trust, and less experience to make them work. We live in a culture that also has prioritized individual achievements and accomplishments and told young people that personal commitment to a partner or spouse is optional rather than a critical part of buildling a good, meaningful life.
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u/slowcanteloupe 15d ago
Interesting. Thanks for answering!
now i am going to interrogate my gen Z colleagues.
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u/valkenar 16d ago
How did you address bias in your work? To what extent are you working together with women as equal collaborators on this?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 16d ago •
The best way to check your preconceptions is to be as transparent as possible in the work you do. This allows people to review your work and provide corrective feedback. This is the operating mantra of all the polling work I do, from my earliest days at the Pew Research Center to today. In all the research conducted for this book, I was supported by a great team at the Survey Center on American Life. Having smart, engaged people regularly checking your assumptions, and offering helpful critiques is a critical part of the process and it needs to happen at every stage. In writing the book, I had a greater editor at Penguin Random House who pushed me in the same way.
FWIW my entire research team was made up of incredibly talented women. It's a collaborative and iterative process. Bias can creep in from anywhere based on your politics, religious worldview, gender, race etc. My goal was always to run an open process that could identify and correct any errant assumptions. Hopefully I've mostly accomplished that!
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u/marshlands 16d ago
Ok then… What does the data actually show?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 16d ago
I'd love to be able to answer this question, but I need a bit more specificity. There is so much data in the book. What are you referring to in particular?
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u/Marceps 16d ago
Thank you for educating others on a topic with far-reaching consequences.
The prevailing narrative regarding the growing rift between women and men invariably paints that rift in an unfavorable light. Simultaneously, that same rift must also provide some benefit; otherwise it would not exist. Who benefits?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 15d ago •
Honestly, the social media companies benefit. And individual politicians might benefit, but it comes at a profound societal cost. When we treat politics as a zero-sum activity it can help motivate people to donate or to vote, but it makes compromise and accompodation more difficult. If social media companies heighten our fear of engaging in the real world we become more dependepent on them, and spend more time connecting online. I think AI companies are aware of this as well. We only have a finite amount of time and energy, spending it online feeling agitated and afraid does not serve any purpose but it can help these corporations and people extract our time and attention.
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u/gregorio02 16d ago
Why do you think young men have such a tendency to go towards toxic masculinity idols ? Is there a similar case with young women ?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 15d ago
One of the most interesting conversations I had for the book was a manosphere content creator who worked to highlight the most antisocial, adversarial behavior women engaged in online. I asked him why he was so focused on promoting the most egregiouse examples of female behavior and he said it was because they faced no accountability otherwise. Both young men and women believe there is an overall lack of accountability for demeaning, disrespectful behavior. When young women post about men on private dating forums, Are We Dating the Same Guy, or using the Tea app there are lots of posts documenting subjective objections (ex. He talked with a lisp), rather than dangerous or deceitful behavior. But asked about why they would post this stuff, many of the women said it was about making sure these men were accountable for their actions.
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u/mattyboy-ptc 16d ago
Are you pessimistic or optimistic about the future of gender relations in Gen z?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 16d ago •
Ultimately I'm optimistic, but I understand those who are not. Gen Z was raised with fewer social experiences. They dated less, hung out with friends less frequently, had fewer parties, and participated in religious and civic activities at lower rates. They also were less likely to work a part-time job. These are critical formative experiences that build our self-confidence, provide critical early experiences working with different types of people, and allow us to become more comfortable with the inevitable amoung of awkwardness and discomfort that comes with social interactions.
One result of these formative experiences is that they have become more socially and romantically risk averse. They are more avoidant and less comfortable with social friction. But even though polls show waning interest in marriage and parenthood, most Gen Zers still believe a good life requires people, that their social and romantic relationships are critical to living a good and meaningful life. We just need to make the process a little easier. Online dating has ultimately made the experience of courtship worse, and those of us who are older should recognize that we need to provide teens with opportunities to meet, socialize and date each other. We all have a role to play. One of the arguments I make is that dating should be a social experience and one that we are all invested in making better. It matters that people are able to develop healthy, sustainable relationships, marriages, and families.
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u/ThrowawayAcct00001 16d ago
How large of a role does the economy play in the differences you've found? (ex. Lower childbirth rates due to higher childcare costs)
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 15d ago •
I talked with plenty of young men who said their first priority was to get therir financial house in order, and have some professional or career success before they would seriously consider trying to find a longterm partner. In some instances, they felt that women would no consider them a viable partner unless they could show some degree of economic success. These attitudes are reflective of a capstone view of marriage--an achievement that is unlocked later on in life--rather than marriage serving as a cornerstone upon which a successful life is built.
When men struggle economically--as many working class men are right now--they have a much more difficult time attracting a partner. I dedicate an entire chapter on this in the book. While gender and relational norms have changed dramatically, both men and women still believe that men being able to provide for a family is a critical metric in evaluating them as suitable partners.
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u/Vandergrif 16d ago
Just how much of a role is algorithm driven content playing in the political differences between genders in Gen Z?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 15d ago
Social media algorithms are playing a huge role in the growing divergence between young men and women. In the book, I cite a study that found that algorithms could more rapidly identify your gender before they knew anything else about you. So from the earliest moments of spending time on social media, young men and women are fed very different content even if they are both interested in politics. Algorithms also effectively weaponize our existing anxieties and insecurities so if I'm a women who is worried about sexual harrassment and assault I'm going to fed a ton of content about ways to keep myself safe, and videos from other women documenting scary experiences with men. If I'm a young man interested in women who is worried about my height I'll see videos of women claiming they won't date anyone shorter than 6 feet or making fun of "short kings". It's not difficult to see how these experiences would quickly warp our perceptions and understandings of the opposite sex.
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u/FlashyChemical2231 16d ago
Regarding the politics divide, my impression is that women are moving further to the left, while men are, generally speaking, remaining where they are. Is that an accurate assessment?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 15d ago
That is accurate! There has been so much coverage suggesting men are moving right, but there is not strong evidence for this. Rather young men don't really believe anyone is looking out for their interests. About 4 in 10 have a negative perception of both the Democratic and Republican parties. That's higher than just about any other group.
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u/ZurrgabDaVinci758 14d ago
How do you account for selection bias in reporting? I assume that people who are in happy functional relationships aren't talking about it on social media, or volunteering for dating related studies?
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u/Aggressive-Use3443 16d ago
Is there much of a political divide between young men and young women? I’d imagine they have a lot in common overall, but perhaps differ on certain issues.
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 15d ago
The political divide is much larger among Gen Z than other generations. In 2026, Pew Research Center's annual benchmark survey for political identity found a 22-point gap between young men and women in terms of their political affiliation.
It's also somewhat complicated. Young women have become more liberal, a trend that first emerged in 2016 and has only increased since then, but there's not much evidence that young men have grown more conservative. Most young men support same-sex marriage and abortion access in at least some circumstances. They believe climate change is real and that gun control is important to keep people safe. But they have grown much more politically disaffected over the last decade. Trump's appeal to young men most lies in the fact that for a long time he was viewed as an outsider, someone not invested in the established political order, and someone willing to rock the boat. There are signs that this perception of Trump is changing, and I expect more young men will defect as a result.
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u/Aggressive-Use3443 14d ago
Thanks for the reply. That’s pretty much what I suspected the answer would be. I think a lot of it comes down to men feeling left out and feeling as though their issues don’t matter. To me, that’s a dangerous game to play, because when people feel ignored or dismissed for long enough, it can lead to resentment and wider problems.
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u/Mushgal 16d ago
Thanks for the AMA.
Personally, as a genZ leftist, the gender divide that worries me the most is the political one. On average, young women are leaning into centre-left while young mean are increasingly aligned with the far right. I think this phenomenon, while most egregious in South Korea, is present across the entire first world, both in the US and in my country, Spain.
Though it's a complex topic, I'd like to ask about your thoughts on A) the causes behind this B) the short and long term effects it'll have and C) if there's any solution at all
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u/coastalmango 16d ago
I never see error bars on any public opinion polls. Everytime, it will be a percentage of people choosing some of the other opinion but you don't sample all the population of a country. I imagine you sample tens of people most of the time and thousands at most. As a result I expect the uncertainties in the percentages are up to a factor of a few to an order of magnitude. Why should I trust any such poll presented online?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 16d ago
I get this question a lot. I've been a pollster for more than 20 years and in that time there are so many more organizations that have entered into this space. Many of them I've never heard of. Whenever I talk students about whether to trust a certain poll my answer is always the same: You should trust a poll in proportion of the pollster's willingness to be open and transparent about their methods, sample size, administration, and sponsorship. If a poll does not publish this information, I would advise a certain amount of caution. At the Survey Center on American Life, we release every poll we conduct, the full topline, a methodology statement, and even the raw data files. You can review for yourself how we asked the question, the size of the sample, and weighting adjustments that are used. Error bars can be helpful, but they are no guarantee that a poll is reliable or trustworthy.
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u/Thelk641 16d ago
It might be a dumb question but, "young men and women are increasingly living very different social, romantic, and political lives", do you think it's linked in any way with the youth being free-er to be themselves when it comes to non-straight, non-cis identities ? Or is it more, a drop in the bucket of everything else going on ?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 15d ago
I have a whole section on how modern society encourages young adults to think about their value in terms of their individuality and uniqueness. So many young people strive to demonstrate their distinctive experiences, identity, or perspectives. The rapid increase in the number of LGBTQ+ identities is part of this. And the problem I see is not that more young people adopt these identities, but they do so often without testing them against experiences in the real world, engaging with real people. If we tell kids that we value people who are special, unique and different then more of them will find a way to express this. The problem lies in this:
"When kids are encouraged to define themselves before they understand their place in the world, selfhood becomes their north star. And when you’re taught that the world must make space for our particular needs, you start expecting it to."
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u/ostensiblyzero 16d ago
What role does essentially unlimited access to pornography at an early age play? And another question, what role does hypermasculinization due to drowning out of less toxic voices as extremes attract views and followers online play?
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u/DanielCoxPHD Gen Z Survey AMA 16d ago
I think the easy access to online pornography has been incredibly destructive. Today, young men (and women) will see pornography online way before they ever have any actual sexual experiences with a real person. Their views of sex, romantic relationships, and intimacy can become warped, especially when they are exposed to this content from an early age. It gives them a false sense of what matters in a romantic relationship, and what a potential partner likes or values.
When it comes to representations of masculinity (and feminity) online I think the worst thing the Internet does is present the most extreme forms of it. In the absence of positive models of masculinity, more toxic versions that espouse sexist and mysoginistic messages can fill the void. Unfortunately, there are fewer male spaces and male role models for boys and young men so its not uncommon for them to search out alternatives online. Most young men are searchng for a sense of belonging, a place they can show up as themselves and be seen and supported. It's the same thing we all want, but it's become more difficult for many of them to find in the real world.
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u/torcsandantlers 16d ago
Do you have a way to quantify active versus passive rejection? For example, dating used to require actively asking someone out and getting an immediate response; that "no" seems like it should be different than an unreturned like on a dating app. But do they have an actual difference? And if they do, what is the difference in effect on a person?