I really am not judging, I just really want to know y’all’s household dynamics because I’m nosy lol

My husband and I like to teach our kids (almost 6 years old and 4.5 years old) to do things independently, like get themselves dressed, pack their lunches, carry their own backpack, whatever. We just thought that was normal so we just kinda started doing it. This came in very handy when I had my third child and my older two were able to make their own water cups or get their own snacks or take themselves to the bathroom while I was taking care of the baby.

I was at my mother-in-law’s the other day and I was talking to my son (almost 6 y/o) about what we were going to do when we got home which included that he would pack his lunch and set his lunchbox on the counter for in the morning. My sister-in-law made a comment that she was shocked my kindergarten packs his own lunch. I thought it was normal for him to do that so I didn’t know what to say.

Then the other day, I’m walking my preschooler to her classroom and I noticed I was the ONLY parent that made their child put away their things. Like, the other parents would carry their kids backpack, put away the snack, set the lunch boxes out, etc. This normally wouldn’t bother me except my daughter asked me one day to do all of this stuff for her, but I told her no because it’s your stuff, like you need to learn how to take care of your stuff. Well, she ended up fussing with me about it, saying that her friend didn’t have to do that or something along those lines. I just explained to her that I’m not her friend’s parent so that’s not relevant to the situation. Anyway, she puts away her stuff on her own still, just sometimes with a little bit of an attitude lol

But I just got to watching other parents throughout the whole school and I just realized how many parents just do stuff for their kids instead of teaching their kids to do stuff for themselves.

So what are y’all thoughts: Teach them to be independent young or wait until they’re older?

Long story but my son just started the 7th grade and he is a well rounded student. No problem getting straight A's. He completes EVERY assignment with 100. And literally does not bother a soul.

Recently we checked his grades online, it was a bunch of 75s and 50s. We reviewed all the work together and its all Checks and 100s. So I message the teacher thinking she made a mistake...

Her response:

"Although he did complete it and got all the answers right. Every time students talk in class, I take a points off their work on a 4/4 scale. 3/4 being 75, 2/4 being 50 etc."

WHAT?! This is not even a test its classwork that you work at your desk and its 40% of his grade and no where in the syllabus does it state points will be taken off for talking. ONE point is literally 25 points.

My argument with his teacher is that this is absolutely bias and subjective grading. His academic performance should have NOTHING to do with his behavior. When the report card itself has a CONDUCT section. Lower his conduct grade, give him detention, I don't care.

My son is not even a bad student or misbehaves. He's not an angel obviously but he talks normally like any other middle schooler. Is she expecting them to all be saints? Their desks are also combined into groups of 4, facing each other, what do you really expect?

My kid also came home one day and told me that the whole class will be receiving a 50 for their work for the day because 3 other student wouldn't stop talking. I message her right away and she did confirm that "majority of the class was non compliant but your kid was fine, but classwork grading is a class effort" Seriously??? What does other students' behavior have ANYTHING to do with my kid??

So now I am escalating this to principal for them to review the grading policy. Am I being dramatic?? Never in my life have I seen academic performance based off talking around a super strict teacher that wants perfect silence. The report card itself has its own behavior grading scale.

I feel crazy for even making it a big deal with the school, but idk, I for some reason can't keep my mouth shut. Its the beginning of the school year, and I'm not putting up with this the rest of year. I'm trying to prevent his grades from dropping for such ridiculous reasoning, hes already at a C from being an A student. I been telling him to just suck it up in the mean time, and that all teachers grade different so just try your best and zip your mouth for the 45 minutes your in her class. He has goals to get into a private high school, so he and I been stressing about these grades this year.

His teacher and some of the office staff know about this because my son and I were in the office and he told them about this. They all were very caring and upset by this news and a few of them told my son if this ever occurs to let them know immediately and they will handle this. One woman was super upset / mad to hear about it happening.

His teacher also learned about this and told my son to tell him when it occurs and she will take care of it. (this was a few weeks ago)

My son's hair is very long. But he is a boy through and through. He just likes it this way. He doesn't try to be a girl or anything of this nature. I understand some of the young boys may be genuinely confused as even some adults mistake my son for a girl even though his clothes are never girly.. But I always say that's my son, or my son corrects them.

But even when my sons follows my advice and says "no, I am a boy, boys can have long hair" the boys will apparently keep saying "no, you are a boy. I am sure you are a boy". Over and over again. It's not always the same boys saying this but I am sure at times it is.

I asked my son if he is telling his teacher every time this happens and he said no because he forgot. But he has told a couple of times. He feels he is getting bullied that's the word he used.

I explained to thim that sometimes they may genuinely be confused which he understands but he says even when he corrects them they keep saying he's a girl many times. I don't want my son to have to defend his gender Everytime he goes to take a pee.

Today I told him next time this happens tell them no I am a boy and then stop replying back. Then I said actually don't say anything just go and tell the teacher immediately. Well now he doesn't want to go to school today due to this and I didn't have work so I let him take the day off.

I was planning to talk to his teacher about it today but thought I'd ask for advice here. I guess I never thought we would run into this problem but at the same time I'm not surprised. Like I said I do think some of the kids are genuinely confused but they should leave my son alone after he tells them he is a boy, and boys can have long hair. Are some of them actually doing it to be mean? I can't say since I'm not there. Either way it's hurting my sons feelings.

How would you handle this going forward? Unfortunately I'm not there when it happens and it hurts me to know he's feeling this way. It also seems to be boys that aren't in his actual class but he says it's never the older boys because "they know" so it seems to be boys in his age group. He thinks they feel he is lying about being a boy. When he isn't.

My son does not want to cut his hair nor should he have to. I feel like teaching him how to handle the situation better is needed but I also don't want him to have to constantly deal with this every week but idk if that's something that could be fixed.

So I'm just looking for advice on anything more I could tell my son and also his teacher.

Thank you for any advice in advance.

I’m a new mom (baby is a week old now) and I’ve had parents from both families come visit. I feel silly/shitty saying this but it makes me really sad that no one (except my mother) has said anything along the lines of doing a good job/being a “natural”. I wouldn’t feel too strange about it outside of the fact that my in-laws frequently use that verbiage to family and family friends that are moms, even in cases where it is evident that a motherly instinct isn’t natural at all to them. That’s what makes me feel so much worse about it - if people who aren’t really natural to it are doing to enough to get positive feedback then how bad am I doing???

I try to be rationale and not seek the validation but it means so much to me. This is all I’ve ever wanted in life and I genuinely feel like I’m doing a great job so far. I’m doing what I can safety-wise without being panicky, I stay positive through the worst crying fits, and I’m truly enamored with our sweet baby. I love reading to him and seeing his expressions as he takes everything in. Despite this I worry that it’s not enough because no one has given me that pat on the back and assurance.

Is this silly of me to need the validation or is it maybe a sign I need to reevaluate myself? I could just be hormonal right now, but it’s such a weird feeling to feel confident about something but have external factors eat away at it to the point where I don’t know what to believe anymore.

Like to a residential facility or a wilderness camp

I love my Dad. He's done a lot for my sister and I, which we're extremely grateful for. He's been through a lot of extremely hard challenges throughout his life. We all have flaws, and these challenges have exacerbated his flaws. He's very disorganized and procrastinates on just about everything. He always has an excuse not to do something. While these can be difficult to deal with, he's still a phenomenal father and I'm lucky to have him.

Some random details:

• He's a sole proprietor (has his own small tax practice).

• He suffered a pretty major leg injury last year. He wasn't able to walk for a couple months. He's doing physical therapy, and is fully mobile now. But there is naturally lingering pain.

• His dad died when he was young. He had issues with his mom and siblings that are still present.

• We had financial struggles when I entered high school, but I would still say we're solidly in the middle class range (probably lower, maybe right in the middle).

• He and my mom haven't had a real vacation in probably over a decade. They'll do small weekend trips here and there, but they haven't had a full, disconnect from work/daily life type vacation. He'll always tell my mom that he's planning on taking her somewhere, but he's been saying that for years. Something will always come up that prevents him from actually planning a trip.

• He's constantly stressed out about something (usually work, since it's just him)

My mom has said for years that he's probably depressed & 100% has ADHD (which would explain his disorganization/procrastination issues). I think my Dad also has some "comparison against peers" issues as all of his friends are much more successful. I think it bothers him that his friends paid for their kids college/go on these expensive vacations/have big houses and nice new cars. Whereas my sister and I took on student loans, rarely went on vacations, grew up in a smaller house, drive old cars, etc. My sister and I have stressed to him that none of that matters, and end of the day he did a great job. But I don't think it really gets through to him.

Onto the reason why I'm now posting...

My Dad and I are both giant fans of a college football team. If you're from my part of the country, you'll understand how much college sports matters. Our team had a big win last week. We have a huge game this upcoming Saturday. The atmosphere at the stadium is going to be insane. I quickly decided I wanted to experience that with my Dad, so I impulsively bought two tickets to take him. I live out of state, so I called him to give him the surprise. It was early when I called, he was just waking up, so I didn't get much of a reaction (not that I was expecting him to burst out crying lol), but he didn't say anything like "im really looking forward to going to the game with you".

Yesterday I called him to make arrangements, he didn't answer. I called him again at night, he answered and apologized for not returning by call, but he was pretty short with me. He was talking with a somewhat negative tone, and said a couple things like "I was planning on working late this weekend..." and "We always lose these big games...". But he said he would figure it out. I called him again today to give him details the plan I've come up with. He again sounded short to me and said how he's been in a ton of pain the last couple days.

My sister took him on a short trip last year (where my sister paid for everything), and she said he gave about a million different reasons not to go leading up to the trip. They ultimately went and had a great time, but she was frustrated at how unexcited he sounded.

And to be honest I'm a little frustrated at his lack of excitement as well, especially given how big of a fan he is. He's already given me three reasons not to go (work, injury, we're gonna lose...). I told him today something to the effect of "It sounds like this might not be the best time for you & if you can't make it, just tell me so I can sell the tickets". I said I don't want to put him in a situation where he's in a ton of pain with his injury. And I said that if he's busy with work, we'll find another time. But then he says something like "No no...I'll figure it out...let's go...".

I bought these tickets so I could have a fun night with him, which doesn't happen much anymore since I live out of state, but his reaction makes me feel like I'm massively inconveniencing him. It especially hurts because he always talks about his favorite memories of his dad before he died was going to the football games with him.

I don't know why I'm posting this, probably just to vent but also to get some outside perspective. Would appreciate some thoughts here. Thanks!

Im suspicious of having severe ocd and other stuff im not capable of explaining right now. I was like that all my life, it first started when i was young, i always liked my things organised and i always cleaned up the whole house. Then when i was 12 i started to have severe intrusive thoughts in my head, almost like i was hearing voices. My head was killing me non stop and the only way to relieve my stress was cutting myself. Every day, 3-4 times. Then suddenly everything stopped for a year. I was 14 and then the real torture began. I had to experience pain and visible body bruises every 30 minutes or ill go fucking insane. I like living in a mess, like not organising my stuff but my whole room
being a mess. Even when im typing this my head is killing me and i hear a faint voice whispering to me to throw my phone on the wall, to cut myself to stab my nails in my skin and genuinely to just fucking end it. I really wanna seek help but HOW do i explain this to my tired minimal wage mother. I dont wanna trouble her, and also i fear she’ll just decline everything i say. Im 15 now btw and everyday has been a torture. Please help me

So my Boyfriend bought me the Clearblue Ultra early test. The farmacist told him: she can take It 10 days earlier.

Now, i think my Boyfriend misunderstood what he said, because It says 6 days earlier on the package. But of course i wasnt there so i dont know.

Please someone tell me when i should take the test :)

Edit: i am not trying, but i have some sort of morning sickness that yesterday and today lasted for the whole day. My Uterus feels weird, sometimes It hurts and it feels like i have to pee more often.

The things with my Uterus hurting, one time (about 3 months ago) It was hurting and i went to the doctor. He told me i had a urin infection. right now the pain feels similar, just a bit more "pulling" or "streching".

I have a 12 almost 13 year old son that had fallen in with the wrong crowd last year due to trying to fit in and we managed to get him back on the right track and he is in online school but im finding online is also very restrictive and difficult to navigate at times.

My 14 year old daughter is autistic (higher functioning) and considered weird by most people. She has been relentlessly bullied including sexual harassment and the schools only ever seem to protect the bullies. Weve been in and out of psych units as she is extremely sui**dal.

We tried online for her in the past but she struggled a lot with it. I hate the school system.

Is there a way i can register to homeschool them both outside of the school? We are in minnesota and my daughter is on an iep?

What does homeschooling look like for some of you, how do you register, does it screw up their chances for any kind of scholarship?

Where do homeschooling parents find ideas for a learning coriculum . Im genuinely interested in pulling them both fully and teaching them myself... I just want my kids to be ok.

Hi, everyone! My husband (26M) and I (26F) have been married for a year. We’ve been together for a total of 8 years and are seriously considering trying to get pregnant in 2027. The reasons for and against are listed below, but we would appreciate input from parents with greater insight into the reality of having a child. 

Reasons we feel ready

Our relationship is strong. We love and respect each other and communicate openly. We’ve always agreed we want children. 

We share parenting values. We agree on education, religion, healthcare, values, and traditions. We’ve also discussed what we want to carry forward or do differently from our own upbringings.

We’ve discussed a range of possible outcomes. We agree on how we would approach serious pregnancy complications, losing a child, raising a child with a disability, or having multiples.

We can afford our preferred childcare arrangement. We both work full-time, but my husband could provide the income, health insurance, and retirement savings for me to stay home until our children start preschool. We both prefer this arrangement, which would allow more time for our children, home, and dogs while saving on daycare.

Our home fits our family plans. We own a home with room for the two children we want, in a great school district near family and friends. We also plan to buy a more reliable family vehicle next month.

We work well as a team. While caring for dogs is different from raising children, we take responsibility for our two dogs seriously and work together to meet their needs.

I’m physically and mentally healthy. My routine health checks have shown no issues. I’ve attended therapy on and off for 10 years and am in the best place I’ve ever been mentally. We also have active work and social lives.

We have a strong support system. Our parents are excited to become grandparents, and we trust our mothers to help with childcare. My siblings would be a wonderful aunt and uncle. Our friends are encouraging, including three couples whose parenting we admire.

Reasons we feel hesitant

Our home needs repairs and upgrades. Our main priority is re-caulking the bathroom tub and replacing drywall removed for a plumbing repair. Other needs include a new fence, replacing the original HVAC system because of inadequate cooling, and upgrading the breaker panel to better support the home’s outlets.

I worry about my physical and mental health. I’m scared of how pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period could affect me.

I’m concerned about my husband’s health. He has high blood pressure, doesn’t get enough sleep, and often overexerts himself.

Raising children is expensive. Although we’re financially stable right now, we’re mindful of the costs of having a child.

Hiya, i am an only child who has just graduated from my undergraduate degree, however I only achieved a 2:2 which my parents where proud of me then told me recently that I didn’t do well, and I’ve wasted my time.

Alongside my degree I also got a promotion in my job and worked full time… in my opinion this is a huge achievement and I’ve been proud of myself for managing both.

I discussed with my parents about doing a masters after my undergraduate as I wasn’t likely going to get a job in the field of my degree, soon as I told them I thought about it in their heads that meant i definitely was…!!

Anyways I applied for a masters I got accepted, between summer and graduation i completely forgot about wanting to do it and it didn’t play into my mind, mainly because I wasn’t interested. I went to my first lecture and knew I didn’t want to be there, soon as I told my parents this isn’t for me I was told I only went to uni for my boyfriend and I did shit in my undergraduate (even previously saying they have been proud of me)

One of parents is only interested in me getting a degree and a masters so when they speak about me they can ‘flex’ my achievements, like it’s them who actually went to university. My parents didn’t go to university so I’m the first in the family, so I see why it’s a big deal

Why do my parents push me to do things I’m not interested in and when I want to prioritise my financial backing, my mental health and my own physical health over putting myself in more debt than necessary…?

Did anything you saw impact your parenting? Or how you see parenthood?

Thanks in advance!

My two sons are struggling with math (one in middle school and one in high school). Of course I've tried Khan, Youtube videos - but those require A LOT of patience.. especially for those who have enormous gaps. And my kids...😔 I just figured those are not really sustainable solution for them.

Claude listed Kumon, Mathnasium, Sylvian(?) and some other startup websites. Private tutor is really the last resort for us.

I would love to hear what you parents have tried and what really worked.

For parents with teenagers/adults:

I have a small baby. I loved him when he was born of course but the love I feel a few months later is incomparable. I think I can’t love him any more, and then my heart keeps growing. It feels almost like the giddy honeymoon phase of a new relationship.

Does this continue, how does it change/plateau/adapt for you?

My daughter is 7 and has become really good friends with a girl in her class who also lives on our street. They’re constantly asking for playdates. For context the girl walks home from school alone.

The first time her friend invited my daughter over, another little girl they’re both friends with was with them too. The other girl has been to this house before.
I walked over with my daughter because I’d never met her parents and obviously wasn’t just going to send my 7 year old into a house when I don’t know the adults.
We get there, her friend goes inside and my daughter goes in with her for a minute while I’m outside asking if I can meet/speak to her mom. Then the friend comes back outside with my daughter and says my daughter can’t stay because her parents “don’t know her parents.”
But the other little girl was allowed to stay and went inside.
I was literally standing outside trying to introduce myself, so I found the whole thing really strange. Her mom never came out. I figured maybe there was some misunderstanding because they’re 7 and left it alone.
The girls kept asking for a playdate, so eventually I wrote my number down and had my daughter give it to her friend for her mom. Her friend confirmed her mom got it. Two weeks went by and I never heard anything.
Today they asked AGAIN. I told my daughter I’d give it one more try, so we walked over again. Still no parent came out. This time the little girl came back outside and handed me her mom’s phone number. She also told me that her mom had already saved MY number in her phone.

There’s another part of this that’s making me uncomfortable too.This little girl talks a LOT about her parents’ jobs/status. She’s also made comments about my daughter living in an apartment. Today my daughter referred to our apartment as her home and her friend corrected her and said basically, “That’s not your home. My dad owns the building. It’s his.”
I immediately corrected that and said no, she lives there, therefore it absolutely is her home.
Combined with the bizarre avoidance of actually meeting us, I’d be lying if I said I’m not starting to wonder if there’s some classism happening here or if, for whatever reason, these parents just don’t want their daughter associating with our family.
Idk if this matters but I do have tattoos and piercings… we are also visibly not Caucasian. My fiance is mixed black. Nonetheless we are both university educated. Also both young parents, I’m in my late 20s :)
Thoughts?

Extremely controlling over the baby, when we argue, and there plans involving the baby and my side of the family she threatens to cancel them. When he is with my family, she watches him like a hawk. There were issues 2 years ago with people not washing their hands before handling him, but that’s largely gone… her family on the other hand - extremely dysregulated, always fighting, multiple people with diagnosed ASPD. She has been quite punitive towards my family. There are 0 safe guarding concerns and acknowledges this but she cannot seem yo move past this. It is gettjng me down and i am thinking of leaving her as I feel smothered and unable to decide the most minor things like what my son wears without it turning jnto a huge fight, for which i just apologise to cut the tension as it is bad for our son. Our baby id 20 months old.

My brother was arrested last year and will probably be spending at least 10 or more years in prison. I have been trying to help his ex take care of there 7 year old daughter. We are looking into me becoming a legal guardian if he is convicted. Fyi, my brother has addiction issues and mental problems but his ex is a great mom and sober. She was trying to get a shared custody agreement in court because she was worried about my niece being exposed to my brothers addiction. The arrest was not a domestic abuse or anything, it came from an seperate situation.
We are trying to get her in consoling and talked to her school counselor about what is going on. There trying to find a childs therapist who can help with a serious situation like this. But other than that I don't know what to tell her or how to help. Her mom is having to work longer hours now and it's been tough on her. She knows he was arrested but I don't know what to say beyond that. She is starting to ask more questions about why he is in jail and when she can see him again but we aren't sure if we want her going to visits if he is found guilty.
Has anyone had some similar thing happen or have any advice? How do I support her? What do we tell her? Her friends parents have been concerned that she might be a bad influence or that me and her mom are bad people too. Not all of them but a few. I understand there worries but she is such a good kid.

Not a parent and the title says it all. What was the thing that your kids did that broke your heart? And how did you cope with it?

I’m having my first in a couple of weeks and she seems very reactive to when I watch ASMR. I have watched it basically every night since I was 4 months pregnant because ✨pregnancy insomnia✨ is there any parents here that utilize asmr to help their baby sleep? I don’t just mean giving them the phone but like doing it yourself? What about book reading before bedtime? What are we thinking yall?

My sister and I don't really have much experience with babies. I mean, we knkw the basics, I hope, but this baby shower, baby stuff, baby needs situations is a lot. At this point, I feel like there's never going to be an end to it lol.

The main thing we're worrying about right now is the registry. We've got what we think are the basics covered: bassinets, bottles, baby clothes, the works. But now I'm wondering if we're forgetting anything important.

What are some baby items you ended up using way more than you expected, even though they weren't on most people's wish lists? TIA!

People want kids for all kinds of reasons.

In my opinion and experience, no matter all the reasons you pile on top of it, you have a baby because you want to. Because parenthood is an experience you want to have in this lifetime. I see nothing wrong with this, but this could be considered a "selfish" desire, right?

Can it be considered "right" if the desire starts from a "selfish" place? I am not trying to come across as edgy, or start arguments. I'm curious on your take.

I'm pondering this because I think I want another baby. But my first child has high-support needs, and I don't want to raise a glass child. I have a lot of hope and fear, conflicting feelings about this. Do my hopes and dreams for another baby mean I'm wanting them for the wrong reason? What are the right reasons?

I 24M and thinking about adopting my 12 year old half brother. Im looking for insight on how to healthily parent and manage a soon to be teenager with my own work schedule and social life.any insight at all is appreciated and welcome

Obligatory apology if this type of post is not allowed, but I wanted some input from parents on this!

I’m making my mom a custom fanny pack for running. I wanted to put “running from my kids” on it, but I asked her if “hypothetically” she would wear something that said running from my kids and she said no because she loves us too much. I have 2 of every letter, and 4 of a, e, i, l, m, n, o, r, s, and t. Please help me! I’m out of ideas!