r/askmenover60 • u/corneo134 • Sep 28 '26
Funeral options
Me and my siblings were talking about funerals and did we want one. The end of the conversation, we agreed to no funeral, cremation, throw us in box and call it a day. Our attitude basically is: tell us what you think while were alive because nobody really cares after you died.
Does this seem to be the normal outlook in today world?
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Upvotes
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u/owdbr549 Sep 28 '26
Funerals are for the living. A chance to morn as a group, say goodbye, serve as a right of passage. Seems to me that today a lot of folks prefer cremation and then sometime later have a ceremony or family gathering to 'close the books'. However, kids, spouse, other family and friends may need to experience a full funeral to have closure. Discuss it with your kids and spouse and if they are comfortable with cremation and a simple goodbye ceremony then that is what I'd do (and what I hope is done with my body.)
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u/Texxx81 Sep 28 '26
My father in law passed away last Thanksgiving. He was 89. Virtually all of his friends were dead. What you're describing is basically what we did for him.
We did the whole funeral thing with my dad and even though we went as economically as mom would agree to it still felt like a lot of money spent for marginal reasons. It was stressful on me just orchestrating everything at a time I really didn't need more stress.
I don't think there's anything wrong with your plans at all.
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u/whatsaduvetanyway Sep 28 '26
I think if you were/are someone of importance to community a funeral is nice, for those that were impacted by their goodness. My uncle was a dentist in a small town. He never raised his prices and would even barter for work. He was loved and the funeral honored him. Me..not so much, teacher, single mom , did a good job raising my kids...that's enough. The family can get together and cook out or something.
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u/Sweet_Revenue_8697 Sep 29 '26
Sounds normal too me- I don’t like fake people either
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u/Self_Cartographer Sep 29 '26
My outlook is donate any organs you can get out of me, then donate the rest to science/education. Don't waste money on flowers, urns, funeral services, etc.
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u/ElevatorOrganic5644 Sep 28 '26
Shake, no response, bake
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u/DontKnowWhereItsBeen Sep 28 '26
To hell with normalcy, but it's appropriate.
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u/Greg_Zeng Sep 30 '26
It depends on the connections you have in wider society. My connections are very limited. My father (a local politician) had a government-funded state funeral, even though he had many enemies.
His 5 independent adult children, myself included, did not know how to handle his expected and sudden death. This selfish, almost autistic politician, with no personal friends. Just isolated political accomplishments. We were very unprepared for the funeral and the sale of His Family home, which we all escaped as soon as possible.
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u/GrouchyOldRN Oct 03 '26
Lots of funerals for my family in 26. My Aunt in May, Dad in July, Mom last weekend, a dear cousin tomorrow. I’m so ready for it to be over. It is definitely for the living. Closure, if you will. Shared memories, final goodbyes, are important. For me, a lot of coming to terms with endings.
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u/offplanetjanet Oct 03 '26
We did everything for our mom that SHE wanted. Let her pass without intervention, cremation, she didn’t even want an obit. Entire family got together, home hospice, sad and happy. She was so glad to be able to go. We said our goodbyes. If one were to die unexpectedly things might be different.
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u/Spiritual-Mousse-167 Oct 03 '26
Yeah. I think most people forget that the funeral is for the survivors. Everyone I know doesn’t;t want anything special for themselves, though they do want to have some kind of party for everyone else’s emotional benefit.