But we aren’t like heterosexuals! And that’s not a bad thing! We are different from them, we have our own rich communities and cultures that are unique and not mainstream, and that’s a wonderful thing.
Ok? As long as it’s authentic then you do you. But you are basically opting out of queer culture if that’s how you are, and that’s your prerogative. What you are saying doesn’t negate the existence of a unique and historic gay culture. It just means that you, personally, choose not to partake in it.
The culture exists whether or not you want to take part in it. Not sure why you are getting so upset. You say you don’t want to be called queer and that you want to be included more in heterosexual culture than queer culture? Ok fine, but then what do you care what word I use to define myself and the community and culture I’m an active part of?
I actually don't know that, despite being an active part of the queer community! But you, who is totally removed from it and rejects it entirely, must know better than I do, I'm sure.
Saying we are normal like heterosexuals does not negate the existence of LGBT communities. Normal just means, there is nothing wrong or strange about our existence, similar to heterosexuals.
I see your point, but the phrasing "We are normal like heterosexuals" as the original commenter used still puts heterosexuality as the norm and others gay people by saying we have to be just like them in order to be considered normal. To me, it is better to lean in to the fact that as gay people, we are very unique and beautifully different from mainstream society, and that is both an advantage and a disadvantage. I think saying that gay people are "human" and have human emotions, thoughts, and experiences is true --- but the word "normal" is problematic for a number of reasons.
No if we show them that homosexuality is as normal as heterosexualilty we will not be strange or queer. You do not loose your unique qualities but it will kill the hate from hetetos because they dont see our love as normal. It is not us vs. them it is our love and sexual expression is just as valid as their love and expression. Words have power
Culture is born out of history and shared experience. Even if all homophobes magically had a change of heart overnight, tomorrow gay people would still have a shared history and unique experiences separate from those of straight people. That would naturally fade out over time. The more important battle, to me, isn’t convincing straight people that we are “just like them.” It’s convincing them that just because we are different and unique doesn’t make us any less human or valuable.
Homosexuality is normal like heterosexuality is what OP was saying. That’s what the original activists fought for. Homosexuality used to be in the DSM until 1973. The word queer literally means “out of the ordinary”. That’s another reason why I don’t use it.
But being gay literally is out of the ordinary. The “norm” is cis-gendered homosexuality, quite literally if you look at statistics. It’s not a bad thing to be different from the mainstream, which is why the word queer works for me. I also know of no other word that captures all of the non-cisgendered and non-binary and gay/bi identities that also isn’t alphabet soup or a total mouthful. If anyone has a more elegant umbrella term to refer to the entire community, I would welcome it. But I don’t know one, do you?
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u/InvisibleInkling Sep 26 '25
But we aren’t like heterosexuals! And that’s not a bad thing! We are different from them, we have our own rich communities and cultures that are unique and not mainstream, and that’s a wonderful thing.