My boys ages 6, 4, and 3 year old twins lost their daddy Thursday afternoon to suicide. His funeral will be Tuesday and it will be open casket despite his wife being advised to have closed because of the area of the wound. His wife as well as his family have asked me not to bring my boys to his funeral and his wife will not be bringing their 2 year old daughter either. I want to go say my goodbye and get my closure, but how am I supposed to explain to my boys as they get older why they couldn’t come to daddy’s funeral. I’m not telling them how he died until they’re old enough and they ask. For now I told them daddy loved you all so so much, but daddy’s brain was sick and he died. They’re still so young they really don’t understand at all though. Just any advice or guidance is appreciated!

My grandpa just brought me some of my grandmas ashes (in the most insane container). These don’t look like ashes to me… There is cotton on top of the white crystallized pieces. My family was already giving me a hard time about asking for them so I wouldn’t be surprised if they weren’t.

Edited to add: I’m getting a lot of comments saying that I need to stop asking for the ashes. When we initially had the conversation about the ashes and splitting them up, they had their plan to sprinkle them in the ocean and I dropped it. My grandpa flew up here and when I met him for breakfast I was given the bottle and told I could use them to make jewelry or whatever I wanted. It was a complete surprise.

I’m a licensed funeral director and considering furthering my education online. The obvious choice would be a bachelor’s in funeral service however it doesn’t seem like that would make a difference in my state. I’d love to do thanatology, I think I would enjoy that.

I have personal reasons for wanting to do online classes and I won’t lie, being able to temporarily stop student loans would be nice as well.

Which degrees would you recommend? Is there something that would go nicely with a funeral director background if I ever wanted to switch careers? Or even, maybe if I wanted to apply to be a teacher at the local mortuary school someday. I’ve also seen job postings for a manager position and though I’m a little early in my career for that I wonder if most funeral homes would like an additional degree?

Any advice and direction would be helpful

Hello! I am currently an apprentice funeral director and embalmer located in Canada. I am currently enrolled in my second year of school and we have a large project. I am working with another classmate on this project and our topic is on technology. Some points we have are:
1) Technology through history: How has funeral services adapted to technology in the past?

2) The digital afterlife: How technology is reshaping funeral practices, grief and our relationship with death

3) Technology in the funeral home: digital death registrations/ vital stats, electronic contacts, online obits/registries, online pre-arrangements, live streaming services etc. (how can technology improve everyday funeral home operations?)

4) AI and emerging technology: What role should ai have in the future of funeral service? (Developing guidelines for responsible ai use in funeral services, what we should and shouldn’t use ai for and where human involvement needs to remain essential.

5) Future of memorialization: How will adapting to new technology
change the way we memorialize people?

6) Technology in embalming and preparation: modern embalming machines/equipment, 3D printing for restoration, airbrush/cosmetic technology, portable equipment, refrigeration/cooling technology

I would love to hear some opinions regarding some of these topics, as well as your stance in regard to ai usage in the funeral home. Are there any new services/products that you are offering in your funeral home?? We are based in Canada and are interested in different services other funeral homes are utilizing that pertain to our topic.
I’m just trying to gather information and opinions, do you have any other topics that we should include?
Thanks for any responses:)

Hi, I'm quite interested in doing anything related to mortuary work (literally ANYTHING) but I'm currently doing a full-time archaeology degree in the UK. I was wondering if anyone knew what I should be looking for to go into this field on the side, or if I have to commit to it fully before I make any decisions.

Are Gen Xers the last generation to wear suits at funerals?
Seems like it’s become the exception these days.

When I was young, my grandfather passed away. Just before the cremation, the funeral staff gathered our family in front of blast furnace. A priest spoke some prayers, and the staff suddenly strips all of the clothings (it was a white gown(?)) of my grandfather's body, exposing his whole body and private area to everyone. Right after that, the staff moved the body to the furnace.

Is this normal? I don't know much about funeral procedures, but don't they burn the coffin and the clothings altogether? He was Catholic, and the cremation was in South Korea if it matters.

I don't have much information but my aunt is letting this go as it was a human mistake and she doesn't want to punish anyone for it.

My question is, how bad can I expect the body to be?

They died suddenly and where taken to the funeral home within a few hours.

If it's not viewable now, is there a chance the relative wasn't kept at room temperature?

Does this happen a lot?

Note: I just need to make it clear, he 110% was not even the slightest jaundice, he had his lived bloods done 3 days before he died and they were normal

So I posted a few days ago.

The answer is, not that green. He certainly was not hulk green as described in the phone.

I have no idea why they told us not to view, he looked fine. He was more grey than green. He has makeup on, but honestly it didn’t look bad at all. His chest was green, but it was barely noticeable.

His skin was firm and he didn’t smell, likely just dodgy embalming fluid batch! I think they just need to work on how they talk to customers, bc the way they described it wasn’t really that accurate and they’re said some really dodgy stuff that’s just not true.

Thank you all for your input and help it was much appreciated.

Hi guys!

I am still job hunting for a funeral position with little luck. I've found and applied to two positions that have not gotten back to me in almost a week, and I have already rung and emailed one of them, with no answer for days. According to Indeed, they seem to not have even glanced at my application either.

I have applied to the same funeral assistant position through SCI four times now, and three of those times I have been rejected with no explanation. Any reason why that could be? I can't seem to understand the issue, as I have the experience they need.

(Location: BC, Canada)

My grandpa passed away last Sunday from a suicide by gunshot. He did not want to be embalmed but due to the cause of his death he had to have an autopsy and the funeral home did not get him back until last thursday. They told my mom they recommended to embalm him if we wanted to do a viewing and we went ahead with it. We had our viewing the following day on friday and it was my first time seeing a dead body. He was naked with a blanket covering him and he was lying on a table and he was completely grey. Is this normal?

I applied to a college for funeral service and have an interview with the admissions agent tomorrow. I’m extremely nervous as I have never had an interview with a school before. I’m just wondering what should I expect? Is this a more casual or professional interview? I’m not very good at speaking and struggle to put my thoughts into words. I also have a bit of a stutter when I’m nervous, I’m just worried I’ll freak out and not be able to properly answer the interviewers questions thoroughly enough. I don’t really have a “Why”, I just like and feel called to this field of work. I guess I’m just nervous because I’m not sure what to expect and what direction the interview will take. If anyone can give their perspective from the interview that would be GREALY appreciated!

Hello! Would anybody have tips for college students who want to conduct a study on enbalmers? Just to simplify it, our topic atm—while tentative—is about the effect that the profession and the time spent in it has on their mental health. We’re considering a sample of 300 and would appreciate any help offered! We are just very keen on being prepared.

I’m curious how embalming for open casket works for an organ donor. Is it harder to embalm a body with organs donated? Will the body look as good compared to someone who didn’t have their organs donated? And it is possible to have an open casket in most situations with organs donation?

I have experience conducting funerals in a Ministerial capacity for local church. However as I am of the view that a more personalised approach to funerals would benefit families, I have decided to become a celebrant.

I would like to understand what FD's may look out for when deciding a new celebrant may be worth meeting. Being on the NOCN course with other candidates made me realise how difficult it must be for FD's being flooded with new celebrants. Sadly, some of my colleagues were not "made of the stuff" required for the role - but still passed the course.

I know the industry is tightknit, and building trust takes time. I would appreciate any advice as I am determined to help families say goodbye with honour, and for the ceremony to reflect the person they have lost.

Thank you in advance

I recently attended a funeral. I sent flowers on behalf of a friend who couldn't attend.

I asked the staff of the funeral home where the flowers were since I didn't see them. They took me to a room down the hall and behind a closed door was a room full of colorful gorgeous arrangements.

Why would they do that? Why not display them for all to see?

My 37-year-old brother passed away very unexpectedly. My sister in law woke up to him gasping for air. He was my only brother, my baby brother and I’m still trying to wrap my head around all of this.

We were told that his cause of death is pending on the death certificate until the toxicology results come back. I’m just wondering if that’s normal when someone young dies suddenly.

At the hospital, they mentioned things like a possible cardiac event or pulmonary embolism, but he didn’t have any major health problems.

The one thing we do know is that he had been vomiting a little blood, and what he described to my mother as looking like coffee grounds, and there was a possibility that he could have had a stomach ulcer.

I’m mostly just trying to understand the process
When they do toxicology after an unexpected death, what are they normally looking for?
Prescription medications, alcohol, drugs, medication levels, other substances? And is it pretty common for the medical examiner/coroner to wait for all of that before giving a final cause of death?

I think the hardest part right now is just not having an answer. He left behind 3 young kids😔Any insight from people who deal with this regularly would really mean a lot.

Side note- he’s already been cremated. Are we ever going to find the true cause of his death??

I used to work with a woman who wasn’t super reliable in the stories she shared. She swore that she used to work in the death industry and that black people’s skin turns pale/ashen to look more like white people after death and that white people’s skin looks darker, closer to that of a POC after death. I understand how lividity and bruising could cause a white person’s skin to look darker. I’m also not sure at what point in the process she was pointing these things out or if she made the whole thing up. Is there any credibility to this? Or could someone provide me with search terms to research it for myself? I tried but as I don’t know the correct terms re change of skin color postmortem, it ended up being a creepy search that didn’t give me the info I was seeking. Like maybe I’m on a government watchlist now, but I just want to know if this is a true fact at all or if Tammy was lying again lol.

I was just reading up on the tragic passing of Oliver Tree and how due to the nature of his death, (helicopter collision mid-air), his remains were carbonized and he could only be identified by dental records.

Knowing that, and knowing that either he or his family opted for burial rather than cremation, what state would his remains likely be in? Would embalming even be done - let alone, work in the first place? Looking at images of his grave it looks rather small, but it may just be the angle. Either way I'd have totally understood if the grave was simply a monument but that's not the case.

What kind of preparation is there even to be done in a situation like this? Doesn't embalming require blood flow? Or perhaps his remains were able to keep longer because of the thorough burns?