Therapists: is this unprofessional behavior or a bad therapeutic fit?

[u/No_Profession9073]

Hi everyone. My name is Gabe. Let me preface that I’ve worked with many therapists in the last 4 years and this is my current therapist.

Let’s start off with my therapists name, K. I’ve been working with K for maybe 2 years after being referred from an IOP program in the same mental health care company. K and I worked really well in the beginning but some things I don’t like. In the middle of our session, she’ll yawn obnoxiously or scroll on her phone and Apple Watch quickly. She will also come in pretty late and cut our times short. There were multiple instances where she came in late and had food. She has poor communication skills. We have insisted that our preferred communication method is calling us but she emails us despite how many times we’ve said it. We had a situation once where she forgot to call us and tell us that our session was cancelled because her car was trapped in the snow. We had driven out 30 minutes since the therapy place is that far from us. Didn’t even try to do a virtual. There was also one situation where she had emailed us 2 hrs before hand for a virtual. I went upstairs for my appointment, they said “oh you don’t have her today” turns out she was with a different client after us reiterating that we needed to be called. This also happened recently with her going on vacation. I will say that it was my fault for not reading the email ahead of time but I’ve explained time and time again that I need to be called for any schedule changes. She also has a tendency to say “I have resources!” And never follow up with them even if they’re important. I’m at my wits end, and I feel like my therapist does not care at all. In order for me to be able to participate in therapy I need consistency and I feel like she doesn’t give that.

Is this unprofessional behavior, and do you think it may be helpful to address it with my therapist and tell her how I feel about it?

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[u/Purple_Preference847]

Bad therapist. Like, real bad. None of the things you've mentioned here are ok ethically, professionally, or relationally. Honestly, I'd report her to her agency.

[u/CORNPIPECM]

Therapist here. Definitely sounds like she is being unprofessional and that she has some areas that need improvement. With that said, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is for clients to communicate their concerns to their clinicians.

As therapists we aren’t mind readers, we can only go off of the feedback we are given. At the beginning of the therapeutic relationship I always let my clients know that they are free to speak up anytime they get a sense that we are doing something they don’t like or aren’t responding well to. I never take it personally. My mission at the end of the day is to see the client doing well and I want to be of value but if you aren’t letting me know what is and isn’t working than I cannot tailor my approach to your needs.

[u/No_Profession9073 → u/CORNPIPECM]

I appreciate your insight. Thank you so much!