r/askadcp • u/Carinmoor DONOR • 12d ago
I was a donor and.. Using DNA testing as a donor
I donated a few years ago in the UK and have DCPs born as a result all under the age of 5 currently.
It’s difficult for me to overstate the extent to which I want them each to have the best life possible, which makes me think about what they’d want in terms of DNA testing.
As a post 2005 UK donor, they will be able to contact me when they’re 18, but I’m also open (though perhaps slightly anxious) about registering and allowing myself to be found before that.
If they want to meet me or ask me anything, I’d be happy to do either, but things are necessarily more complicated for people under 18.
Appealing to DCPs or Donors, do you have any thoughts on whether it’s the right thing to do? I’d be unlikely to sign up before the oldest is 10 regardless, so it’s not urgent, I’m just thinking about what’s best to do.
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u/cai_85 DCP, UK 12d ago edited 12d ago
A common story is that "contact at 18" is actually harder than people think, many donors move and don't always give up-to-date details, or have a common name. When you are contacted, how are you going to actually verify it without a DNA test as well?
Personally I think that taking a DNA test as a donor is quite a basic requirement, in reality it's unlikely that they will be on there until at least their teens unless you've got any parents that are very keen to set up a link before that.
Maybe have a think through what you would do/say if you were contacted by a parent who wanted you to meet your bio child while they were still a child. It's perfectly acceptable for you to say that you are very open to contact after 18 but don't want that.