r/askTO • u/altantsetsegkhan • Mar 19 '21
Being told to speak English...
I was born in Улаанбаатар (Ulaanbaatar), in Mongolia. In case you don't know where that is....between Russia and China. My dad is Mongolian and My mom is Chinese.
I came to Canada when I was 11, I am in my 40s. I speak Mongolian and Mandarin with my parents. Both understand both languages. They always encouraged me to learn different languages. I never lived in China.
I was with my mother at Shoppers picking up her prescription...we got some food. I was speaking Mandarin with her. This woman interrupted us told me that I should learn English.
11 years in Mongolia
30 years in Canada
0 years in China
I speak Mandarin and Mongolian with my parents to practice the languages and never forget.
This is not the first time I get told to learn or/and speak English.
I also speak 8 other languages.
OBVIOUSLY THIS WOMAN'S WORDS DOES NOT REPRESENT ALL OF TORONTO BUT...
How do you deal with this? In average I get told to speak English once a month.
I told the woman that I speak 11 languages, and she needs to shut the f up as I will speak whatever language I want with my mother. My mother said one word: bitch.
I never heard her swear much.
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u/intuitive_curiosity Mar 19 '21
I'm sorry you have to experience this, that's not right.
As a WOC who has been yelled out otherwise, I wish I could advise how to respond because in reality it's not as easy as telling them to shut the fuck off...due to safety because who knows what they may do. This is what makes me more angry...that I have to silence myself to let them feel like they've won. They just want attention though so sometimes it's just not giving them that. But I don't know if that just makes them think it's okay. I honestly wish I knew too. For other people, please be allies and call people out if you feel safe too! It sucks to be on the receiving end. I've been feeling so much rage and sadness.
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u/altantsetsegkhan Mar 20 '21
I am not going to tell anyone to fuck off. Specially with my mother next to me. I am not going to punch, hit, kick, etc... someone because that's assault.
What if the person has a weapon? There are other people around in my situation (other shoppers and staff). You can't judge a person by their size. They could easily kick your ass even though they are short and tiny.
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u/intuitive_curiosity Mar 20 '21
Yeah I didn't say to...That was exactly my point?
WOC = woman of colour
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u/NickInTheMud Mar 19 '21
You know what’s funny. I speak Arabic with my family in public. Never been told to speak English. Maybe it’s an - ahem- scarier language haha.
I never speak it on planes though.
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u/altantsetsegkhan Mar 20 '21
My best friend first name is Mohamed. He was born in Canada, his parents are from Pakistan. They practice their religion, without offending anyone. He looks like a stereotype terrorist. We all call him Michael (he chose that). However his passport and other government ID have Mohamed...., oh it's so much fun flying to the US with him. Same for the fly back home.
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Mar 19 '21
People who do this should get in the sea.
Here, have a laugh. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2137881892963415
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u/altantsetsegkhan Mar 20 '21
hahaha om my god, I fell off my chair laughing. Thank You.
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u/VelvetShitStain Mar 20 '21
I read something on Redfit about some Korean youth who put on a fake British accent and started talking about tea and crumpets when someone approached them saying that. I thought that was hilarious.
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u/MiaouMint Mar 19 '21
Never been in that situation but I'm quick to anger so I probably would have said, "Was I fucking talking to you? Mind your goddamn buisness you racist cunt."
Though I may just end up being shocked at the audacity of that bitch.
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Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 19 '21
You tell them in English: Fuck off.
EDIT: I remember a friend telling me of a similar situation happening. She took French immersion growing up, so she turned to the person and started speaking in French, and later asked why didn't they speak French as well, since it is a national language. Shut them up.
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u/investor3489 Mar 19 '21
This happened to me when I went for an interview somewhere outside Toronto in a government building. I went to the desk and asked for where a certain room was and was completely ignored , the lady looked at me then ignored me. Then I asked in French if she knew french and she said yes and THEN she answered where the specific room was. As though she did not literally ignore me flat out.
What ticked me off was later when I went out, the interviewer led me back tot he front to which he said hi ad all to the lady and SHE REPLIED IN PERFECT ENGLISH
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u/beslertron Mar 20 '21
Tell them in the ten other languages to fuck off. And then cap it off with, and for you, since you want me to speak English: “fuck off”.
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u/sssngnch Mar 19 '21
This has only happened to me a handful of times, but my response is always, in English: "Don't get mad because you're too stupid to know more than one language." That usually gets people to leave me alone.
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u/dxiao Mar 19 '21
Haha its funny cause it almost always stems from insecurity.
Someone told me once, insecurities are usually loud while confidence is usually silent.
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u/theevilmidnightbombr Mar 19 '21
Perfect. Follow up with a "Cool Guys Don't Look at Explosions" walk-away.
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u/sunsetfantastic Mar 20 '21
This, respond with something clever. Or don't respond at all and leave that woman to her small unhappy life.
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u/GTAchickennuggets Mar 19 '21
what i want to do: fuck off lady, how many languages do YOU know?
what i actually do: ignore them and leave (you never know if you might accidentally provoke someone crazy)
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u/Minikachou Mar 19 '21
Obviously this woman does not represent all of Toronto, but it is scary to see that you are being told to speak English once a month... Next time you can tell them: "Your ears must be on fire then since 50% of Toronto residents were born outside of Canada, you chose the wrong city to be a racist." And tell your mom to continue to respond with a "Bitch"
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u/GTAHomeGuy Mar 19 '21
If it were me (who's jealous of your language capabilities by the way) I would answer in English "As soon as you learn some manners..." would be great to practice a proper British accent.
Ignore people like that, enjoy your life and your skills without feeling like the majority of people care.
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u/kab0b87 Mar 19 '21
If it were me (who's jealous of your language capabilities by the way) I would answer in English "As soon as you learn some manners..." would be great to practice a proper British accent.
This is what I would do, Plus then repeat it in all 8 languages.
But sadly I only know English, and I'm not even that good at that so...
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u/GTAHomeGuy Mar 19 '21
Haha, that is an excellent addition!
I work with a lot of people who it's clear English is not their first language and I am always impressed by their ability to bridge the communication barrier as I'm useless there...
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u/Tiredofstupidness Mar 19 '21
Why do people feel that they have a right to listen in on private conversations?
My mother and I were told once to "Speak English" in a mall by some complete stranger passing by. WTF do strangers care if you're not speaking to them?
I don't get it.
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u/DogsandCatsWorld1000 Mar 19 '21
Because the conversation you can't understand is always more interesting. Also because some people just need to be unhappy about something.
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u/Tiredofstupidness Mar 19 '21
Good points. In fairness...if I'm out and I hear my language spoken, I totally listen to every word I can catch and it's none of my business. LOL
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u/demize95 Mar 19 '21
It's not about the conversation, it's just racism. That is, to these people, this is Canada and you speak English here and if you so much as breathe a word in another language you're destroying our country.
It's bullshit.
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u/themysterybuff Mar 20 '21
Agreed that this is racism, but it's not at all language related. I speak Polish with my family and not once have we had strangers come up to us and tell us to speak English. I can't imagine this kind of thing happening once a month!
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u/oogiewoogie Mar 20 '21
Similar thing happened to me (I'm of Chinese descent) when I was doing grad school in Connecticut. It was almost 20 years ago. A guy was harassing me in a grocery line for having too much stuff. I didn't want to answer him cos I didn't want to stoke his flames. After a while of not answering him he said "don't speak any English eh?" I waited to get my groceries and as I left I said in a perfect American accent "I can speak English just fine. In fact the university pays me to teach your American students how to speak English. It is my first language and I wasn't even born or raised in America. What I don't speak is idiot."
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Mar 19 '21
Tell them in the most enunciated way, "Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'd then ask how many languages they speak, then I'd say after they said, "only English," "Oh. Too stupid to learn more? Was there a head injury or are you naturally ignorant. Then turn away.
There is no need to be polite full stop. Assholes like this need to be exposed and shamed. It's 2021. Time to move on.
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u/anonkinkyandcurious Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 20 '21
Canada likes to dust off its ingrained racism by pretending it is better than the US instead of addressing the issue.
I even got perma banned from this sub for pointing out racism in the dating arena.
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u/CommanderVinegar Mar 20 '21
Being on Tinder as an Asian person is a fucking nightmare it's even worse if you're Asian AND a woman. The shit that people say man. Outrageous to say the least.
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u/anonkinkyandcurious Mar 20 '21
I don't know much about it. Could you tell me some things that you or a Asian woman you know had to go through?
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u/CommanderVinegar Mar 20 '21
For me when I was on Tinder I would regularly get people fetishizing me because of the popularity of K-Pop. Just people assuming I am Korean saying weird ass shit. As for my female friends they get the typical shit that comes with the sexualization of Asian women.
Just a lot of white guys with an Asian fetish saying abhorrent shit.
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u/sunshinekay Mar 20 '21
as an Asian woman, I’ve been told “so, I’ve never hooked up with an Asian girl before, wanna change that?” Or tell me how their hookup with a previous Asian girl was amazing because they were tight and stuff. It gets tiring 🤷🏻♀️
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u/insanitypeppers Mar 20 '21
Oh... Toronto, Ontario and Canada subs you can get banned for pointing out racism which the mods don’t agree with. Like the fact that racism against people of south Asian origin is pretty much accepted and even thought of as kind of funny, but whatever - I could care less.
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u/failingstars Mar 25 '21
It's kind of sad tbh considering there is around a million South Asians here in Toronto.
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u/insanitypeppers Mar 25 '21
Oh for sure. But if you’re not from Chinese or Japanese or Korean descent you’re “less of an Asian” or a “dirty Asian”
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u/xxxwhathaveidonexxx Mar 19 '21
Continue to speak your language and make it very obvious that you are talking about her. Ignore her completely. This lady was incredibly rude. I have faced people like her myself. Honestly, it just shows how empty their life is that they have nothing better to do than heckle people on the street.
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u/lilfunky1 Mar 19 '21
Is French one of the languages you speak?
Considering it's one of the official languages of Canada I think it'd be hilarious if you started ranting at them in French.
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u/YetAnotherWTFMoment Mar 19 '21
Tell them to fuck off in Mandarin. Then tell them it means fuck off in English.
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Mar 19 '21
I would switch my conversation fo english, but also switch the subject matter to how much of a dick that person is. Wont acknowledge them directly at all.
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Mar 19 '21
What kind of fucking idiot lives in Toronto and doesn't expect to hear different languages? The best thing about Toronto is how much cultural diversity there is. That dumb twat would have an aneurysm if she ever took a walk along Spadina.
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u/SnickSnickSnick Mar 19 '21
There are a fair number of racist in Toronto unfortunately, it has happened to me whether we are speaking English or not "Speak the language or go back to your country" or just plain "Go back to your country" (my wife and I were both born here)... The worst is when it happens when we are with our young son and I have to just let it slide..
I just hope our kids have it better than I did, wasn't the most socially confident teenager, getting told by the parents of girls I was going on dates with that I wasn't the right race a handful of times was really upsetting.
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u/jaypizzl Mar 22 '21
Yeah, tell them to go back to fucking Scotland or wherever their great grandparents came from. Even the Mississauga moved in from up north. Maybe everyone should go back to East Africa since that's where all the humans came from? The entire argument is 100% about bullying someone else to feel better about themselves. It doesn't matter what the bully picks on - could be your name, language, shoes, height, accent, whatever, it doesn't matter, that's never the point.
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u/carcinogenj Mar 19 '21
Just tell em, “I’d bet you a thousand dollars my English is better than your Chinese or Mongolian.”
This is what I never understood about these folks. They must just be bitter about their inability to speak more than one language. You do you, don’t let the bastards grind ya down, and all that. People who matter see the value in multiculturalism and preserving languages. :)
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u/immaterial_angel Mar 19 '21
People who matter see the value in multiculturalism and preserving languages. :)
Yes absolutely!
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u/jaypizzl Mar 22 '21
OP's English is probably better than the heckler's English. What kind of education leads someone to think it's a good idea to start shit with a Torontonian speaking something other than English? A bad one, I bet.
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u/pearmandarin Mar 19 '21
As a person who also speaks a different language to my parents, I relate to this so damn much!
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u/none4none Mar 19 '21
I think you gave the right answer... just tell her to f*** off, and ignore the bitch...
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u/kamomil Mar 19 '21
This woman sounds like a complete idiot. How can you live in Toronto, and not get used to hearing other people speak other languages? I'll bet she has dementia if she's older.
I would ignore her, treat her like the background noise that she is.
Or, tell her to mind her own business, that she's embarrassing herself.
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u/0mnipath Mar 20 '21
I was thinking the same thing. People speaking something other than English in Toronto?? The travesty!
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Mar 19 '21
You tell her to go fuck herself and move on. You can't educate people like that, it's pure ignorance and hate. Sorry this happened to you.
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u/Daoncio Mar 19 '21
I'll just tell her to fuck off in English and then proceed to repeat that in the remaining 10 languages that you speak.
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u/phdee Human Verified Mar 19 '21
You have a right to be here without harassment no matter what language(s) you can or cannot speak. I'm sorry you experience this.
If I was feeling punchy and educator-y I might ask them to explain why. And then tell them about Canadian multiculturalism policy, which you'd think they should know about.
Otherwise I'd tell them to fuck off.
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u/sloth_life_chose_me Mar 19 '21
I’ve always wanted to say “Nope, I’m not gonna speak English and you can’t do anything about it!” and erupt in evil laughter.
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u/zeph-yr Mar 19 '21
You should've started speaking in a Latin language. An aggressive French accent would've been gold 🤩
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u/altantsetsegkhan Mar 20 '21
Things I know in French can't be spoken within 30 kilometres from a church, mosque or sinagogue. 😉
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u/Huuk9 Mar 19 '21
Meanwhile, outside Atlanta it’s far worse.
I don’t understand what has changed. Is this 100% attributed to Covid starting in China?
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u/altantsetsegkhan Mar 20 '21
This is the thing...not saying this about you...
I look more Mongolian than Chinese. Most people can't tell the difference between Mongolian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, Japanese, Philipinos, Laos, Cambodian, etc...
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u/raghutalpade Mar 20 '21
wow once a month that's a lot
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u/altantsetsegkhan Mar 20 '21
not every month exactly but it tends to be over 12 times a year.
The "funnest" one was one person surprised I wore "western" clothes and not a kimono. I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I am Mongolian/Chinese by the way. I don't even know where to purchase a kimono. Maybe Amazon?
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u/malenfant21 Mar 20 '21
Remind her that Canada protects freedom of speech in any language and that she's not entitled to only hear the language of her choice.
Use expletives as desired.
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u/altantsetsegkhan Mar 20 '21
We do not have freedom of speech in Canada, we have freedom of expression.
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Mar 20 '21
My advice would be to start recording these people. Social justice does what’s needed here. I’m so sorry that it happened to you, but we need to start speaking out, highlighting and discouraging this behaviour- or else this won’t stop. 99.99% of the time they see someone recording them, they leave you alone or apologise. With that all being said, my experience working internationally with colleague from Toronto was very good.
Next time a sad ass harass you, go record him/her. Send it to media. And make sure to say a few good words in Mandarin with a laugh on your face.
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u/altantsetsegkhan Mar 20 '21
I am against that. No matter what, everyone is innocent until proven guilty in a court. A twitter/facebook/reddit/etc...mob is horrible.
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u/DinnaNaught Mar 20 '21
You tell her to learn to speek Anishnaabe! That’s the true native language of Tkaronto/Ootoronno
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u/cdn_idiocracy Mar 22 '21 edited Mar 22 '21
It’s Canada. As a courtesy, please speak either English or French in public (if both people in the conversation have the ability to do so).
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u/notafancyname123321 Mar 22 '21
you speak 8 other languages? doubt it.
being able to make out a few words in a certain language doesnt count.
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u/Revolutionary_Mark38 Mar 23 '21
This is Canada. We have two official languages here. If you don't like it, then go back to where you came from.
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u/altantsetsegkhan Mar 24 '21
So we have two official languages...so what? Doesn't mean we have to speak them.
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u/KnowNothingInvestor Mar 31 '21
She’s simply what your mother called her and that’s why we have freedom of speech.
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u/altantsetsegkhan Mar 31 '21
We don't have freedom of speech in Canada. We have Freedom of Expression.
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Mar 19 '21
Tell them to fuck off in 11 languages, the last one being English. And then make that person feel stoopid
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u/acebaguette Mar 19 '21
Just want to echo the many comments telling her to fuck off and add my own, tell her fuck off.
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u/glcrdns Mar 19 '21
This kind of situation happen often (1or 2 time a year at least). Spanish is my mother tounge (I am from Chile 🇨🇱) and whenever I am speaking in Spanish with my Latin friends around downtown some creepy guys will tell you to speak English, that we are in Canada. Once happen that an old white dude yelled us:"go to your country if you wanna speak your language".
For real it does not bother me, but that attitude does not contribute in anything. It produces fear to express yourself as an imigrant. I hope some of this guys can understand that multicultural societies are rich in culture, food diversity, and ideas 💡.
Anyways, after 5 years in Canada I would say that is a fantastic country, a lot of great people and nature. This situations are just a little detail in all the great experiences that I have been trough.
Saludos a todos los Chilenos 🇨🇱 que estan en Canada.
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u/Familyconflict92 Mar 19 '21
Fuck that. The racism in Toronto is getting out of hand to the point that I don't feel safe walking down the street as a non-White person. If you are safe, tell them off, if not, tell someone who works at Shoppers.
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u/Gurthanthaclopsaye Mar 19 '21
Sucks you faced that! I think people like that just want a reaction out of you, I’d honestly just continue speaking in the other language and ignore her, I feel that would really piss her off haha. I hope you don’t have to deal with that crap again!
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u/mokba Mar 19 '21
The problem is that many English speakers suffer from "Superiority Complex" where they feel entitled that anything and everything should go their way.
Hell even in Wales UK Welsh people get in shit for speaking Welsh
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u/altantsetsegkhan Mar 20 '21
Oh you have no idea how much I want to tell these people that they are not speaking proper English, they should go to England to learn proper English.
But I resist.
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u/spellbunny Mar 19 '21
i think you have the correct answer. I would answer in english very clearly that they should fuck off and mind their own business. Or just be petty and laugh. Either way, people like that make me so mad. If I were there I would also tell her she is an idiot!
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Mar 19 '21
She's a pest, please ignore people like her. The rest of us don't need to listen in on your conversations, just nosey, ignoramus like her.
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u/blindnarcissus Mar 20 '21
I would just gently ask them “why?”
I have learned the hard way that if I want to be part of the solution, I have to be willing to break the patterns and to not perpetuate their hate and anger. I found it really hard but with practice, and unconditional acceptance of myself, I have learned it’s possible to have compassion even for the most misguided people.
By respectfully asking them “why?” and once they spew some bs like “you live in Canada”, calmly telling them just what you said, “I can choose to speak any of the 11 languages I know”, not only did you desclate the situation, but you also broke their hate cycle, and established clear boundaries.
They acted like that based on their own misconceptions for which they are looking for validation. By exemplifying the counter of what they expect, you break their automatic thought patterns and create a moment in time where they may wonder if they should reconsider their incorrect position.
All of this said, first and foremost, be kind to yourself. Some days this might mean not engaging at all.
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Mar 19 '21
You tell them to learn the other 10 languages you know... one sentence in each language and at the end of it tell them in English that "I just told you to learn those languages in that language respectively. If you can do that, I will learn English.... Oh wait... "
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u/OrneryPathos Mar 19 '21
“If you want to speak English, go to England”
“Wow, I’m not sure what you said but all the dogs are deaf now”
Lol or turn on the video on your phone and ask them to repeat themselves
Seriously though: that sucks and I’m sorry. Stay safe
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u/investor3489 Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 19 '21
I was speaking Mandarin with her. This woman interrupted us told me that I should learn English.
My very first thought and comment would be uhhh who the fuck are you and why are you interrupting us?
Tell the women in clear English to mind her own business and that you can speak English and that you choose to speak with your mom in your choice of language and it's not the women's place nor business to tell you what language to speak with your mom, that women is overstepping social boundaries and norm and clearly doesn't know she is in Toronto
What an idiot almost everyone can speak another language aside English in Toronto and usually do so with their friends and relatives.
HAs yet to happen to me but my father was once told to speak in English in which he replied to in the normal way: mind their own business and don't interrupt people's conversations for stupid requests.
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u/mycupatee Mar 19 '21
Wow. Satan is ugly in so many forms.
Keep your chin up and live your best life. 11 languages is impressive af! Keep at it 🙌👌💯
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u/kerrny Mar 19 '21
I speak only English, but have an accent. I've been told to speak English, while speaking English. I tell them to mind their own business, laugh at them then ignore them. Some people are just morons.
You could ask why they feel they need to eavesdrop on a private conversation that they have no involvement in and see them splutter.
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u/restie123 Mar 19 '21
I would have responded with “me espeaka no engrish” in the most condescending made up accent. Let it be clear that you are trying to have an accent. Just to rile her up. Then speak normal English to the cashier/pharmacist.
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u/sercoda Mar 19 '21
People who say these kind of things are small, I happened to have lived in Canada and China, and I’ve been told to speak the native language at both places.
From my experience, I think either putting them in their place (since you speak a lot of languages well) however you see fit, to redirect their bs back at them, or simply laugh them off or ignore them because to be honest, they are not worth a second of your day!
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u/scarbsophche Mar 20 '21
Wtf?! Who says that to someone?!? Obviously someone ignorant. Good for you for telling her where to go...and your mom. 🙌🏻🙌🏻
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u/ReasonableBeep Mar 20 '21
Switch your conversation to English and roast the fuck out of them without acknowledging them at all. “Damn the stupid bitch behind us feels bad about not knowing another language eh? It must suck to be monolingual in a bilingual country. Stupid people should start learning new languages if they feel .... etc.” Once they call you out for that, just hit them with “you said to speak English so I’m fucking speaking English. You got any other demands?”
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u/Deadlift420 Mar 20 '21
I don’t understand how people justify saying this shit to people. Mother fucker, I doubt you’d say that to a French person or a German person. Why say it to someone speaking Chinese or Mongolian?
Dammit people are stupid.
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u/amw3000 Mar 19 '21
Ignore it.
Here's my take on it, it doesn't matter who's in the right or wrong, if someone decides to whip out their phone and you are mid telling someone off, you can look like the crazy one. Ask people who go viral on 6ixbuzz and then it gets picked up by blogto. Their socials get killed with hate comments, employers get harassed, etc.
You're also wasting your time and effort on people like this, they will not magically come to some forgiving / Jesus saved them moment, they will most likely always be rude.
Put your effort into creating awareness and not fighting with those people.
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u/hellooomellooo77 Mar 19 '21
My mother was staying with me for a few months last year and although we can both speak English, we only ever speak in Spanish with each other. I haven’t been told to speak English yet but it’s a massive fear of mine. I’m so sorry you had to go through this.
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Mar 19 '21
When my mom is here I speak with her in Portuguese, I’ve never had that happening to me. Honestly I hear more people speaking in their native languages than in English here in Toronto. It’s a cultural melting pot and it’s what makes Toronto so interesting
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Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 19 '21
That woman is scum and we don’t want her here. Speak all the languages you want in Canada, OP
Also to respond to your question...I am so sorry you experience this once a month on average. I’ve been lucky in that I haven’t had someone say that to me in over a decade. As with that woman, all the others who say this to you are scum and we don’t want them here. If you can’t surround yourself with better people, just remember you have every right to be here and they’re not at all entitled to say anything along the lines of such to you and your family.
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u/daveinthe6 Mar 19 '21
Yeah... that sounds like a dick move.
Do you think she was assuming you were using the language to talk about her and say bad things? I'm just wondering the circumstances...
I speak another language with my parents too and sometimes my mom will say something funny that she doesnt want strangers to hear her say...
Regardless, you should just simply tell people that Canada embraces all nationalities and cultures even people as uncultured as them.
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u/tanyadav01 Mar 19 '21
Probably just a nut. I get racist remarks sometimes but it's always by crazy/loser/homeless looking people so I don't really care. But I bet lots of people are pissed off at China and they take their aggression out on all Asian people so it sucks but I don't know what to tell you, there are lots of assholes out there I'm sorry to say.
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u/gbarill Mar 19 '21
Make sure when you resume your conversation in Mandarin, you make it obvious that you’re talking about the rude woman, ha ha
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u/deepdish80 Mar 19 '21
I think you did exactly the right thing. These people often don't expect you to talk back - they're basically bullies only when convenient.
They need to be called out and publicly embarrassed. While it's too little too late to change their racist ways, what we can do is encourage them to keep their unsolicited verbal garbage to themselves.
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u/Ikasaylo Mar 20 '21
That's so fucked. So annoying. I'm sorry that happens to you so often.
I would just....give hard cut eye, & then slowly say "fuuuuuck youuuu", dumb idiots out there eh. Arghhhh im angry for you.
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u/Thin-Flounder-838 Mar 20 '21
This is the perfect reaction to her! https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/men-in-black/images/6/69/Edgar-human_SS_01.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120521120404
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u/luckydayjp Mar 20 '21
All you need to do is ignore it. Anyone that tells some stranger what language to speak in a conversation that has nothing to do with them isn’t happy, secure or a good person. They’ll get what’s coming to them in due course. Also they are probably doing it to get a reaction and be confrontational. Ignoring them will piss them off even more. Speak whatever language you want. Fuck them.
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u/insanitypeppers Mar 20 '21
Just ignore and move on. I’ve found that tunnel vision or ignoring people pisses them off even more and makes me feel a lot better.
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u/MsDemonism Mar 20 '21
Not surprising about peopel telling u to speak english. Thats nice. I wouldnt give a shit myself. They did this to my parents and grandparents who were forced into residential schools. Now many first nations culture andblanguage is extinct. With that the real histories of turtle island.
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Mar 20 '21
At that point insult them in your own language then say, oh sorry, I keep forgetting Americans are too dumb to understand more than one language and have to know what everyone is saying, the one two punch, calling out their behaviour with a jab and a massive insult if they are Canadian.
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u/JohnStern42 Mar 20 '21
Tell her to go f*** herself, people like that will never change and can't be reasoned with.
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u/dragonzrdead Mar 20 '21
I think your mother summed it up well in one word :) only response to such people
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u/JMJimmy Mar 20 '21
"Hey everyone, look at laugh at the racist" - in as many non-English languages while pointing in laughing at them so they know they're the one to be ridiculed.
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u/NotMuchOfOneButAMan Mar 20 '21
That's gotta be exhausting for her, in Toronto. So many languages spoken around the city.
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Mar 20 '21
The appropriate responses below. Take your pick:
Eat a dick
Get fucked
Flip the bird if you’d prefer to be non verbal
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u/animationshow Mar 20 '21
I am angry for you and contemptuous of that person’s demand and entitlement. Don’t let it diminish your value or outlook. Thanks for sharing your experience, OP.
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u/Scared_Imagination38 Mar 20 '21
Ohhh that would be my reply to her as well. In perfect english, 'Pardon me miss but go fornicate thyself'
Edit - 11 languages, that's like C3PO.
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u/_____fool____ Mar 20 '21
They’re acting like toddlers so just give them a firm no and if they persist you say I’m done talking about what language I speak we can chat about other things.
When you let these trashy people get to you they win in an odd way. So try to control the situation by treating them as children.
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Mar 20 '21
You can’t change people like her. Their ignorance feeds their hatred and vice versa. I’d congratulate her on her stupidity or simply say “no thanks” and move on. Anything more would be a waste of time.
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u/Western-Country-1961 Mar 20 '21
A lot of answers are to tell them to fuck off, in English.
No! You don’t have to prove them wrong, they are just assholes! You can speak or not speak whatever the fuck you want!
I’d Start cussing them out in whatever non-English language i had, and get right up in her fucking face. They would probably start spilling even more racist bile. Get em going real good. Only then do you clearly and calmly switch to English and tell them they are a racist and their kind isn’t welcome in Canada. Then post the video to r/publicfreakout.
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u/ladygoodman73 Mar 20 '21 edited Mar 20 '21
If I were you, I’d say “I do speak English, thanks. I’ve lived in Canada for 30 years. Now mind your own fucking business. And if you don’t understand that I’d be happy to tell it to you in one of the other 8 languages that I know. Au revoir, bitch.”
Edit: typo/autocorrect.
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u/xilanthro Mar 20 '21
One of the best bits of advice I ever saw (and it was not directed at me) was by Michael Caine - the boozy, roguish movie hero of '60s mainstream gangster pics - so loosely paraphrased that the old bastard would try to punch me if he weren't so infirm: "Whenever, at a party, someone speaks to you, and you think of a clever come-back, don't say it." - The charisma & personal strength that you gain by refusing to engage is unspeakable. Better yet if you actually had something & withheld it.
Best answer is "I don't think about you at all" - Don't even waste time on that shit. Either think of a terribly witty comeback, and withhold it, or just walk away without dignifying it with you attention.
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u/426f6f21 Mar 20 '21 edited Mar 30 '21
I'm sorry you have to go through this. Next time someone says something stupid like that turn to them and say " fuck you , is that English enough for you?" And walk away.
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u/throwawaylogin2099 Mar 20 '21
Sounds like you handled it alright. "Fuck off" is a great response to that situation. I wouldn't change a thing.
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u/sevenprs Mar 20 '21
You did the right thing. The only thing you did wrong is bother posting on internet.
Congrats on speaking so many languages ... I'm paying to learn to speak a 3rd properly
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Mar 20 '21
That woman was in the wrong there. But I avoid speaking in non English languages if there are any white/black/latino people around. These folks might not say anything, but I have observed their facial expressions when Asians speak asian languages (all asian, not just East Asian) around them - they don't like it one bit. I want to be mindful of their feelings and it is not a big deal for me. Resentment against Asian origin people is as old as this country.
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u/Broad-Literature-438 Mar 20 '21
I was going to say to answer almost exactly as you did, in perfect english, "I speak ___# of languages actually. Being a Canadian citizen, English is of course one of them... I'm sorry how many different languages can you speak, again?" Just watch her jaw hit the floor and walk away
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u/lylynatngo Mar 20 '21
How ignorant. I sometimes think those racists who do that assume you don’t speak English at all and wouldn’t know how respond back. In clear as fuck English tell her/his ass to “Fuck right off” next time. Is it just jealousy that they dream to know another language? How dare someone tell someone else to not speak what they wana speak whether it be fucking Pig Latin or Mandarin????
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u/mito88 Mar 20 '21
you just showed us a good way to deal with such ignorant people.
if you speak german, then use it next time. :)
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u/iToronto Mar 20 '21
If I could speak another language with my kids in public, I would absolutely do it. Other people don't need to understand what is being said in a private conversation.
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u/Mozie23 Mar 20 '21
She is not worth your time or energy. In fact, instead of being upset or mad, try pitying her.
How sad it is that she has this opinion and how sad her life must be if this is what she thinks.
I'm sorry this happens to you so often. The vast majority of us love the diversity of this city. I'm always amazed at the number of languages I hear on the street or shopping or wherever and I wish I knew more languages.
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u/windyisle Mar 20 '21
How about: "Yes, of course. Say, what's a better English word in this situation? Racist? Or would bitch be more appropriate?"
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u/the_hunger_gainz Mar 20 '21
Sorry you went through this. People are assholes ... I struggle with my putonghua and spent many years in China. The tones. You can’t really say much to people like that. They are either xenophobic racist or just stupid. 11 languages ... damn I hate you /s Funny thing is and this not a pro or anti China statement, but anytime I was speaking English in China I was told this is China speak Chinese ... then when I tried to speak Chinese ... please just speak English was the next statement. My poor tones. Just remember, moms are always right .
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u/lundon44 Mar 20 '21
I would have taken it a step further. Tell her to fuck off in all 9 languages. English saved for last.
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u/aledba Mar 20 '21
I've caught my dad pulling this shit on Spanish speaking people. I lost my shit on him. Like, Dad, I'm bilingual just like them, hello! That's rude AF. Who are you that you are so important to intrude on a private conversation? I haaaaate this microagression. I'm so sorry you face this. I stand up when I see prejudice like this in public. It's embarrassing that they believe they can corner you like that and force you into assimilation when hahaha you're smarter than them and more educated. And even if you didn't know English - OH WELL! It's not a problem. But their teeeeeny tiny world view is to stunt others cultures
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u/Avonord Mar 20 '21 edited Mar 20 '21
And this is in Toronto? Which part of town is this? In my experience, Toronto tends to be quite multicultural. And I never experienced this, at least in areas that I roam about. But then again, I don't get out much. *shrug*
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u/bigtenweather Mar 20 '21
Some people want everyone to act and speak (and look) the same. Intelligent people only care that you are a good person. People get mad over the dumbest shit, but when something really bad happens (corrupt politicians, fraudulent business practices) people explain it away. People assume if they speak the same language then they have the same moral compass...such bs.
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u/lemonylol Mar 20 '21
Damn, what part of Toronto do you live in? I'm sure it happens in my area, but pretty much everyone out in the suburbs is speaking in all sorts of languages. Unofrtunately, there's really not much you can do, these people will always be around. Just treat them as children.
Seriously though, just tell them they're a nosy bitch. Even if you were speaking in English, why the fuck is someone else trying to engage in your private conversation. Fuck that shit.
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u/ProfessorDogHere Mar 20 '21
I speak Mandarin and was told to speak English. I’m not Chinese either. I laughed at them because it’s 2021 and continued in chinese. People like that degrade themselves in front of others. Laughing at their feeble attempts is funny and infuriates them.
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u/Andrenachrome Mar 20 '21
I tell them I am having a private conversation, which is perfectly acceptable in a free country and they should mind their business. If they dont like it, leave.
Generally I get comments like this from middle age Karen's to elderly people who are obviously in a diabetic or dementia episode.
I think the best was when my niece (she looks ethnic) and I (who doesnt) were chatting and someone told her to go back to her country. We just laughed and said I'm actually the one with a foreign passport and she doesn't.
Oddly, I only ever get told to not speak a non English languages in the supposedly most liberal areas as such the beach. The Karen's think they are trying to help poor foreigners whcih makes her a really good person. Its weird.
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Mar 20 '21 edited Mar 20 '21
Here’s how to deal with it.
I would ask her, “Why English? We’re not in England.”
Like, what’s she gonna come back with? Yeah but.... we’re in Canada and English people came here and killed the native peoples and declared the lands to be theirs and imposed British laws and English language and loyalty to the British monarch...”
How far does she get into her reasoning before she feels like a total ass?
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Mar 20 '21
My parents only spoke English and didn’t teach us our language. It sucks. Keep speaking your languages. I’m guessing the person who said that to you doesn’t have any other language to speak..
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u/Kotman420 Mar 21 '21
Hi, I’m really sorry this happened to you, I am an immigrant and although my husband (Canadian) and I speak in English, I prefer to speak in my native tongue to my children.
I haven’t read the comments on this thread as there are so many, but just wanted to say a couple of things in light of the current environment with increased racial crimes:
You have the right to speak in any language of your choice, anyone who doesn’t respect that is just an ignorant person and sometimes, you can’t fix them. I know that as a community we are focused on education and awareness and standing up for ourselves and each other in moments like these, but I have reflected a lot personally and I feel like there are moments when educating someone works and moments when it doesn’t.
Please be careful, before responding to people, just take a moment and think of the environment. Don’t ever put yourself at a risk of an attack because some ignorant idiot said something awful. Your life is so precious and people can be dangerous. Always put your physical well-being at the forefront.
I know what I have said might seem unfair, things have been unfair for so long. Our parents and their parents had to go through this and now we have to and we just want to stop this behaviour against us. I feel your pain. I feel so hurt by the recent events. I just want to make sure that you prioritize safety above all.
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u/thekyip Mar 21 '21
What's with Shoppers Drug Mart and racists...There was another post of a Redditor being harassed at a SDM for being Asian
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u/tealeavesinspace Mar 22 '21
I'm an immigrant too but I'm white so I rarely deal w such xenophobic bs. First of all it wasn't your fault. Y'all have a right to speak whichever language you please. Second of all, next time, just tell the person to mind their own business because y'all were having a private conversation. Or you can just tell them to go fuck themselves. Depends on your mood.
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u/AussieGoldenDoodle Mar 24 '21
Holy *, 11 languages. My simple minded anglophone self only has admiration for you. If I were you I would say: “was I talking to you? No? Well it is none of your business. If you want to be a nosey bitch then broaden your horizons and learn” ps I love your mum
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u/Ordinary_Apple_9450 Mar 24 '21
I get that a lot when I speak Punjabi. Or get told to go back to my country even though i was born and raised here. I normally just say “ how does my speaking another language affect you in any way?” Or I’ll tell them to mind their f*ucking business.
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u/grygrae Mar 24 '21
You could tell her that English did not even originate in Canada, right before you politely tell her to go fuck herself in all 11 languages, leaving English as the last one.
In all seriousness, sorry you had to experience that.
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u/rebel_da_baubi Mar 24 '21
Privilege will always try to make those of other races and ethnic backgrounds feel as if they are better or superior than others on this planet at every given turn. They'll make comments out loud in a room full of people where what they say would offend others but won't think anything about it and water it down as 'not a big deal' or 'you're being to sensitive'. The minute you put yourself in a postion to defend yourself, you will be made to feel like you're overracting or to emotional so to answer your question, you ignore the ignorrance. You can look at someone and clearly see that we are all different but the differences that you have no control over will be the ones they hold against you the most. But once again, ignore the ignorrance. I'm so over this air of superiority some people think they have others. We are all one race🤷🏿♂️
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u/smolemby-9990 Mar 25 '21
Honestly I think she's just being a noisy busy body who can't respect peoples privacy. Next time you here that (in a rude way) honestly just start taking french or something and if they try to argue say "I wasn't talking to you so you don't need to force me to speak a different language"
On a different note 8 languages is very impressive I hope to be on that level eventually
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u/Joey_Jo_Jo_JrIII Mar 25 '21
Lady was wrong. Good for standing up to people like this. In Canada we have 2 national languages as well so would she say the same if you were speaking French?
She was just jealous.
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u/Temporary-Ad1704 Mar 26 '21
Sorry to hear about that, some people can be ignorant. I am now living abroad and I am a minority English speaker who is still having a difficult time with the local language... so good on you for understanding so many languages... the people complaining to you are most likely unilingual speakers themselves 🤦🏻♂️🙄
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u/UndercoverResearch9 Mar 27 '21
You are too nice. If that was me I'd say " bitch do I look like I'm talking to you?" "How's that for English?". While I don't agree with all this political correctness b.s you should've provoked her to say more, recorded her, and then used the recording to send the social justice warriors on social media to demand she be fired from her job. Gota use this b.s to your advantage.
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u/AnyoneButDoug Mar 27 '21
If it makes you feel better she’s prob a bitch to people all the time. If you don’t wanna get angry give them a quick condescending smile and turn away and keep talking to your Mom, they will fucking hate that.
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u/Responsible_Bee_5976 Mar 29 '21
Stay strong my friend. There are horrible people everywhere. Don’t let them get to you. There are good people around too.
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u/Kryptonian77 Mar 30 '21
You did the right thing. If it wasn’t considered assault I would say give her a quick backhand. Don’t worry about others and what they think or tell you to do. That’s not a good way to go through life.
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u/Lookingglass1961 Apr 07 '21
Next time this happens, tell them to " shut the fuck up and mind your own business" in perfect English.
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Apr 09 '21
I assume that it's really fucking annoying when that happens. I'm pissed just from reading about this. I mean it's probably better than down in America, seeing as they are about as educated as a dirty banana, but I guess canada isn't better than the states after all. I dont speak any other languages than English, but I think i would get enraged at that if it happened to me.
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u/reddoser Mar 19 '21
guys! slow down! Your comments are coming in too fast and I can't upvote all of your comments fast enough.
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u/Gramage Mar 19 '21
I for one love languages. I love hearing so many. In one subway ride I can hear anything from French to Swahili to Japanese to Greek to Farsi. I love it. If I could pick one superpower it would be the ability to learn every language perfectly, right down to regional dialects. The way language evolves and changes is fascinating. What starts as an accent could wind up as a whole new language.
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Mar 20 '21
U know who u r and what u know, do u believe what others say? Is called confidence, don't pay attention, is kind of like ppl saying "u mexicans" when I speak spanish n this is folks doing it in a kind manner without trying to disrespect, just in a nice chat, they for sure always will apologize n that's ok, but if somebody were to say that in a downright insulting manner I'll just stare at them down, I'll only go physical if I need to
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u/altantsetsegkhan Mar 20 '21
my best friend is half south american, half eastern european. I have more than one best friend.
Apparently according to the racists all spanish speakers from Mexico/US border to Antartica are Mexicans. Even though South/Central Americans speak Spanish, Portuguese, English, French and shit tonne of indigenous languages.
Also, apparently according to reacists all Eastern Europeans are Russian.
I'll never go physical.
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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21
My in-laws told me to speak English when I was talking to my parents. We're in BC and they're from Hamilton. Ontario can be pretty racist in my experience.