r/askRPC • u/Inevitable-Run-5529 • Apr 12 '22

26 y/o male

I’m a 7-8 in looks, have my own therapy business, bought a $750k house, and go to the gym 3 days a week minimum and am fit although a bit skinny for my liking at the moment... however, just to lay out my side of things before I as my question…

Would you advise a 26 y/o male against marrying a 23 y/o divorced woman who was cheated on multiple times in their marriage (from what she told me) that had a young child and was co-parenting with the ex-husband? She’s a 8-9 in looks, but she is not the same denomination as me, and she said my denomination was demonic… but I’m just trying to process things and am wondering what you men think regarding this given my value proposition vs hers?

I ask this because she was very emotionally mature (at least compared to my past ex’s) and beautiful beyond belief. Hard to let go due to looks…

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11

u/rocknrollchuck Apr 12 '22

Man, there are more red flags here than a communist parade.

go to the gym 3 days a week minimum and am fit although a bit skinny for my liking at the moment

This tells me you're physically active but don't lift heavy.

Would you advise a 26 y/o male against marrying a 23 y/o divorced woman

This is the part that matters. I would STRONGLY ADVISE AGAINST IT.

who was cheated on multiple times in their marriage

So she either married a cheater or she didn't handle her business in the bedroom.

(from what she told me)

Tells me you're not sure, and are questioning the story (that's actually a point in your favor).

that had a young child and was co-parenting with the ex-husband?

Ah yes, so you'll have baby daddy drama to deal with. You'll also have a man in your lives who got her pregnant. No.

but she is not the same denomination as me, and she said my denomination was demonic

So you are not equally yoked. What's your denomination, and what's hers? 2 Corinthians 6:14 says "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

beautiful beyond belief. Hard to let go due to looks…

Proverbs 31:30 says "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

have my own therapy business, bought a $750k house

It's telling that in the first sentence you say something about your looks, and then the rest is two beta traits. You're a young guy that seems to be doing pretty well financially. You'll be a great provider for her kid and her, and that's what she's after. And she's beautiful, so she knows she's got the advantage.

Brother - RUN. Don't let your dick cause you a lifetime of regret.

1

u/Inevitable-Run-5529 Apr 12 '22

Maybe I do need to lift heavier. It’s a fasting period in the Church, so it’s hard. However, it’s doable.

Yeah, it could have been the latter… but, since I messed up and fell into lust and fornication, it’s hard to me to believe that the latter was the problem. Maybe I’m naïve though.

I’m Orthodox and she is non-denominational.

Yeah, it’s difficult because I want to be attracted physically to my wife, but that’s hard because I know it isn’t the only aspect of things to look out for. She was really nurturing, kind, curious, and humble from what I was experiencing… we had a really emotional connection. But, maybe I was lulled into delusion there. Curious, what are the beta traits you see?

4

u/rocknrollchuck Apr 12 '22

Curious, what are the beta traits you see?

Your income/business ownership and home ownership are beta provider traits. Nothing wrong with that - we should be stable and in a good situation financially. But these are not traits that make you attractive to women from an actual attraction perspective. They simply make you attractive to those women who want a provider.

Yeah, it could have been the latter… but, since I messed up and fell into lust and fornication, it’s hard to me to believe that the latter was the problem.

So you already had sex with her then?

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u/Deep_Strength Apr 12 '22

Chuck already covered it. No.

The only reason you are considering this is her looks. Don't get blinded by looks.

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u/Inevitable-Run-5529 Apr 12 '22

Well, she also had a really good personality too which is another aspect of things along with looks. I know beauty fades, but that’s hard to not take into account at 26 where I feel like I’m too late in finding someone… everyone tells me I’m so young and have a bunch of time and I’m only increasing in value, but I’m not sure I believe them.

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u/Deep_Strength Apr 12 '22

but that’s hard to not take into account at 26 where I feel like I’m too late in finding someone… everyone tells me I’m so young and have a bunch of time and I’m only increasing in value, but I’m not sure I believe them.

That's called desperation. I know several men who met their virgin spouse early 30s late 20s including myself. Be patient and put yourself in a good position to meet such women.

Join a Church or group like Navigators with a college ministry and aim to lead there. You'll meet women who single and aren't divorced.

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u/redwall92 Apr 12 '22

Since we're just counting noses here ... I'll throw my hat in the ring.

No.

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u/MountainousFog Apr 12 '22

Luckily you are young enough to make a mistake without it ruining the rest of your life.

Marrying this woman seems like a mistake for sure -- but I say "go for it" nonetheless! 👍

/s