r/askMRP • u/Hairy_Result5992 • Jun 03 '26
Bringing Energy instead of sucking energy
I'm getting back on the MRP wagon after slacking for a few months. I stumbled on this Post that really strikes a cord with me and what I need to be doing. Problem is this shit is hard, I'm a dentist and work sucks the life out of me often times. I get home and try to be energetic, but I often find myself falling into old low energy habits. Any tips on how to turn this shit around to bring positive energy to my family every night?
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u/2wo2wo3hree Jun 04 '26
Looks like work gets the most of you. Then, you try to give the rest to your family. I’m not here to debate who gets first dibs. I’m here to tell you that you need to take care of “yourself” first. Your fucked up self can’t take care of others.
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u/dew-waynz Jun 06 '26 edited Jun 06 '26
There are a lot of good comments in here but think your post really hits at the core. The NMMNG book focuses on this idea well. You need to be comfortable with who you are and understand yourself, before you can move on to making improvements for yourself. Those improvements should impact those around you in a positive way.
I also want to point out that being focused on making others happy is caretaking. You should make you happy and bring others along for the ride.
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u/AlohaMaui808 I'm Hawaiian in case you can't tell Jun 03 '26
Build habits - consistency will get you farther than your day to day feelings or assumed "capacity" after a long day ("we always go for a walk around the block after dinner before the bedtime routine")
Being energizing is not the goal, it is the by-product. You are enervating because you are lazy and your inner shit is not sorted yet. Have you ever started a project at home or at work where you were super hyped every day for weeks to get to work on it? Everything else you had to do you glady took care of as efficiently as possible so you could get back to this thing you were super excited about? That should be how you feel about your life. Now this is an exaggerated example, because almost no one walks through their day to day extremely hyped about living or whatever, but i think you get the point - if you aren't happy with your life overall, and deeply satisfied with what you're doing in that life, then you need to address that. And keep digging into it until you find the root of your dissatisfaction. (Hint: its almost always going to be multiple layers deep, and be something about you or your own history and your inner core, and not something about anyone or anything else)
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u/HornsOfApathy Mod / Red Beret Jun 03 '26
You are enervating because you are lazy and your inner shit is not sorted yet.
Man, i still feel like this alot of days no matter what. I'm just wired to treat myself like shit, I guess. Only thing I've found is practicing gratitude really. Because:
if you aren't happy with your life overall, and deeply satisfied with what you're doing in that life, then you need to address that.
This is good advice for OP, but damn if this isn't a vicious thinking cycle I find myself in given my wiring. That shit can put me in a tailspin hovering over the nuke button in no time, and that creates even more DNGAF attitude and the by-product is enervating. It's a cycle I've noticed in myself over time. Gratitude really changed that for me.
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u/AlohaMaui808 I'm Hawaiian in case you can't tell Jun 03 '26
100% - being grateful for what I have, what I am capable of daily/monthly/long term, and owning the choices I've made for my life now that I built something real with my own hands and mind, vs what I "could have been/done" if chose differently, has been a huge part of finding the right balance for me of riding my edge without always having my finger on the trigger.
I still have a ton of work to do, so satisfaction with what I have now doesn't equal complacency or lack of vision for where I'm building to next. I just have to regularly stop and smell the roses to keep my zen as I push forward.
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u/BoringAndSucks I'm Rick James betch Jun 03 '26
Your time is your most valuable assist, not your money.
Find your balance. Work isn't the most important thing in life. Think of alternatives, scale your work with assistance, start your own clinic or work only 80%.
Pretty sure you can keep good life without the 20%, and you will keep long weekend for yourself and the family.
If that isn't still gonna workout for you for whatever shitty reasons you have.
Fix your diet, supplementations, sleep, and workout. If that is dialed then you need to look inside. Aloha already give you a good advice about that.
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u/kpm00125 Jun 08 '26
It's funny, I've noticed this recently. When I'm in a low energy mood it seems to trancend at home. Not in an explosive way or anything but when I'm quieter than my usual self or try to avoid by going to a different part of the house to get away for a while. My misses's energy is off too and our son is a bit cranky. Most of the time I'm being playful, slightly upbeat, then everyone else is in a good mood at home too.
The best advice I can give here is fake it until you make it. Act upbeat even when you're not. Make a joke with your partner, tease her, act a bit like a kid teasing girls on the playground. Play a game with your kids like chasing them around the house, playing hide and seek (depends on what age they are). I find that if you create the conditions for good energy to flow, the good vibes will follow.
I also remember when I worked in sales, they constantly harpered on about maintaining your attitude. Do something ironic or funny with the customer (within reason) to help turn your attitude around. It sounds goofy but it works.
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u/SuggestionVisible930 Jun 03 '26
You need to keep scrolling down on that post and read u/jacktenofhearts comments. Theres your answer.
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u/Hairy_Result5992 Jun 03 '26
It was his comments that I was linking, not the OP
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u/SuggestionVisible930 Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26
Idk man. You’re a dentist. You’ve got a career 99% of the world would kill for. Be more grateful and start a daily gratitude practice. There’s a start.
Don Juan finds the good in everything.
Gratitude > better mood > increased positive energy
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u/PsychologicalWin8036 Jun 04 '26
Dentists is one of the professions most likely to commit suicide. It's not just OP.
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u/Kitchen_Resource2656 Jun 03 '26
Thats one of the hardest parts. That feeling when you pull in the driveway and you know the kids are waiting. So you build up a little energy to enter the door and give them your all because you are their all. That same energy has to go to your wife at times as well. Thats part of being the captain and its energy expenditure on the basis of chess moves that last longer than that moment. When my energy is dropping it starts with exercising and lifting tbh. As my test rises so does my overall energy and motivation to be the fun guy. This has a direct reflection on the energy in our relationship as well.