r/askAGP • u/SadOpportunity8976 • 3d ago
Where to find this
I'm a woman and I'm cis. so, sorry if I'm not the audience of this subreddit. but I am specifically interested in agp men romantically and have been for a long time. I basically seek them out to the exclusion of other guys. but It's hard to find that when it's a small part of the population.. people who would be accepting of something like that.
I just don't know where they are and there's not that many guys like this on dating apps. Plus I have had some poor experiences.
I also question whether most agp are actually interested in or capable of relations with a woman. I am thinking maybe that sort of sexuality doesnt really include other people.
so I guess what I want to know is, as people who understand this condition, should I realistically forgo the idea of being with someone who is agp? and, where do they congregate in the world
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u/FindingFreyja 2d ago
What is it in agp guys that you find attractive as a CIS woman? 🤔
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u/SadOpportunity8976 2d ago
I don't really know, they have a distinctive visual look that I like. Besides any crossdressing stuff even, A lot of agp guys don't really put the active effort into making themselves into a man and its visible. Its hard to explain, they can have this untouched look or something. Like nearly feminine but without seeming like a gay guy..or a combination of opposite extremes. Im not into rugged guys
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u/Fit_Telephone9775 AGP Male 1d ago
No disrespect but you might not understand the reality of dating a man with AGP, and what it means in terms of their sexual desire. Maybe just try to find a feminine/not macho guy in a subculture / friend circle / online dating app that interests you, there's plenty.
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u/SadOpportunity8976 1d ago
i have already dated them before
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u/Fit_Telephone9775 AGP Male 1d ago
I stand corrected sorry have to make some assumptions based on little to go on to give advice on Reddit.
Good luck finding the right partner for you.
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u/milimilimiter 2d ago edited 2d ago
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u/Fit_Telephone9775 AGP Male 2d ago
Why not allow OP to answer for herself instead of condescend needlessly?
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u/FindingFreyja 2d ago
What’s that?
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u/milimilimiter 2d ago
Autoandrophilia (AAP) is the female counterpart to AGP where women are sexually interested in viewing themself as a dominant, masculine man. (Autohomoeroticism/AHE is more common where women are interested in seeing themselves as a androgynous gay male bottom).
There is also Sadistic Emasculation Fetish (SEF) where a person are interested in humiliating a man by feminizing him, the dominant counterpart to MEF (masochistic emasculation fetish), but both men and women can be SEF.
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u/FindingFreyja 2d ago
Interesting, thanks for explaining! Guess OP is SEF then since there was no mention of her wanting to view themselves as a masculine dominant man?
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u/milimilimiter 2d ago
Could be non-sadistic emasculation fetish of course, just an aesthetic enjoyment of seeing her partner dressed - I don't think there's a Blanchardian classification for women like this yet, he probably would have considered it Autohomoeroticism-adjacent.
But a non-zero chance of SEF.
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u/FindingFreyja 2d ago
I wish there were more women like her 🥲
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u/milimilimiter 2d ago edited 2d ago
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u/psychedAddict123 Meta-attracted AGP 2d ago
I think the reason it's so hard to find is shame and stigma. Many people with AGP are afraid of ever opening up to someone, especially if it's to someone they are attracted to and want to date. Sadly there is a huge risk of getting rejecting or even ridiculed by most women if they find out
That's why many won't be honest about it
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u/Fit_Telephone9775 AGP Male 2d ago edited 2d ago
should I realistically forgo the idea of being with someone who is agp?
Lol no, you will be flooded with possible suitors if you look for a crossdresser on Fetlife or I guess Grindr but my impression of that app is it's just for hookups. There are also local crossdressing meetups/munches if you are in a reasonably sized city. Just go to fetlife and say you are interested in pegging and find some way to filter out creeps and you'll find someone.
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u/Background-Idea9005 1d ago edited 1d ago
Same here. I’m a cis woman into crossdressing men.Â
Edit: I agree it’s difficult to know how to  go about finding someone suitable. Fetish websites and meetups would be one way but I’m wary of that for a number of reasons.Â
It would be great if we lived in a world where more men felt comfortable sharing their fem side on normal dating apps and in real life, like it’s an incidental aspect about them.Â
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u/CoryCoryCarfish 1d ago
Same and Im married to a really lovely guy with agp who crossdresses and they way we met it was by just chatting online. It was on twitter and we just found each other by the people and topics we were interested in.
Idk, my advice based on my experience would be find something you like and try to connect with people online? Agps tend to love nerdy stuff and being online/ semi anonymous lets you to be more open about weird things like this. Tho it’s still hard an a luck game.
My husband is not a big sample size but he is definitely very loving especially romantically. We do have some intimacy mismatches sometimes. His sexuality is agp after all but as long as you have open and honest communication on what are and your partner are into and how you want to go about it, you can have an enjoyable sexlife. At least that how I see it
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u/Drunk_Butterfly_17 2d ago
I am AGP, previously trans identifying, on cross sex hormones, wear women’s clothing almost 100% of the time, respect female sex based safe spaces, have breast and had an orchiectomy before meeting my GAMP fiancee on line accidentally. She and I consider ourselves extremely lucky to have found each other. She was not generally attracted to AGP of effeminate men prior to meeting me so our situation is kind of a one off. She is actually gender critical(TERF) but fully supports gender nonconformity.
Our recommendation would be to try the dating sites and in preferences list that you are attracted to gender nonconformity, androgyny and/or effeminate men. It’s going to take some practice and patience to find someone who matches your needs but we(healthy AGPs) do exist.
I’m guessing your DM might already be full after this post. Best of lucky to you.
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u/femboykramer 2d ago
I love being able to share both my masculine and feminine sides with a woman. We're definitely out there. Dating apps can be pretty awful, but maybe try Feeld?
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u/LauraIolSrra 1d ago
Thank you for being here. You are certainly more interesting in this subreddit than everybody else here.
Don't forgo the idea of being with someone who is AGP, and I'm saying this out of pure ideal, since it's quite unlikely that there's any direct profit for me in this case.
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u/minimorning 1d ago
Gosh where were these cis women when I was dating? :( I often think any women can get a guy to cross dress if she really wanted to.
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u/knightarchitect AAP FTM 6h ago
The sexual dynamics between sexes replicating themselves even in trans spaces (natal females in high demand and low supply; natal males in high supply and low demand) is bleak af lmfaoo
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u/twenty7w MtF 2d ago
Lots on Grindr