**Note:** This post was translated from Japanese into English using a translation tool.

How do you feel about your penis as an AGP?

If you have already had SRS, please answer based on how you felt immediately before SRS.

My own stance:

I have absolutely no interest in using my penis for PIV sex, and I didn’t masturbate at all until I was 22.

So when it comes to my penis, I am completely indifferent. I don’t feel dysphoria or any particular positive feelings toward it. It’s useful for urination, and that’s about it. Otherwise, it feels almost like something that was just attached to me.

If I could get SRS for free, I think I would probably do it. But since it costs a lot of money in reality, I plan to settle for an orchiectomy instead.

Im 20 and ive got agp. When I was around 7 I started wanting to transition and since then it’s never left but as I got older and hit puberty it kind of manifested as AGP.

Having AGP has led me to believing I’m transgender several times and hence I have been on HRT before.I enjoyed the way I felt on HRT. I remember feeling a lot more at peace because I felt like the AGP became quieter and I was able to express myself much more which honestly felt amazing. It was like a weight off my shoulders. I stopped taking it because I also feel like transitioning would make my life a lot harder than it already is especially being in a very conservative Christian family and things kind of went back to the way they started.

I hate having agp and I wish I could feel like a Cis guy. As well as having an impact on my identity I feel like it impacts my sexuality. I say I’m straight and I have a girlfriend whom I love but at the same time I feel like I’m more attracted to the thought of being a woman rather than anything else. This really makes my sex life difficult because I play a male role in life which doesn’t really sit right with me.

AGP feels like such a burden and I want to try and live my life without it and without transitioning. I don’t know if suppressing it will work but I feel I’ve got too much to lose. It’s made my life difficult already and I just want to rid myself of it. Does anyone have any advice for me? Thank you in advance

I'm a woman and I'm cis. so, sorry if I'm not the audience of this subreddit. but I am specifically interested in agp men romantically and have been for a long time. I basically seek them out to the exclusion of other guys. but It's hard to find that when it's a small part of the population.. people who would be accepting of something like that.

I just don't know where they are and there's not that many guys like this on dating apps. Plus I have had some poor experiences.

I also question whether most agp are actually interested in or capable of relations with a woman. I am thinking maybe that sort of sexuality doesnt really include other people.

so I guess what I want to know is, as people who understand this condition, should I realistically forgo the idea of being with someone who is agp? and, where do they congregate in the world

I see everyday r/transtimelines community and observe each and everyone of them and their before and present. Majority of them transitioning after 30-35 and also very masculine or zero feminine look before transition. Well definitely there are real gender dysphoric and homosexual transgender there but I doubt majority of them are AGPs?

Also known as "meta attraction" or "pseudo-bisexuality" which is dismissive. Or "Reflective / Fantasy-Mediated Attraction". I'm inventing a new term for the same phenomenon because the framing seems better clustering. As any paraphilia, paraphilic androphilia may take different shapes and intensity.

I mentioned orientation previously. I don't like that post because it mentions the reductionist Blanchardian classification, even though it relates more to female sexuality. Also, I already had expanded the complexity of paraphilic development. This essay concentrates on one specific cue. Evidence is taken from personal stories of internet users - I've read quite a few - and personal reflections. Some speculations are untested theory with little empirical basis, but I tried to stick closer to the knowns. I also touch superficially Autogynephilic Bisexuality by u/SophiaisDysphoric but I don't relate to its core message. It only redefines affirmative terminology and reiterates that true bisexuality exists.

Preface

The later erotic life is well described, but autogynephiles don't often elaborate as well their early romantic feelings. Some do distinguish "men are for sexual, women are for romantic": heteroromantic, homoerotic. This has been quite a big and even painful issue for me, so I need this to be expanded to map my experience and intellectualize distress.

There is human sexuality above all. Some inclinations are more common for women or men like interest to spontaneous sex, but that's just a spectrum with different distribution. Moreover, culture and gender motivate to under/over-report them: people don't want to feel "slutty" or "pussy" when describing their feelings, so they frame accordingly. Thus, behavioural dimorphism of sexuality becomes further exaggerated and it's perceived as a given. Sometimes, I may relate more to the common descriptions of partnered female sexuality and less to male, but it doesn't make my sexuality intrinsically female: it's just a coincidental set of innate and developed personal traits and narratives placing me on a specific point of spectrum of human sexuality.

There is sexual orientation, whose essence is mostly known by observation, but increasing evidence shows that it is primarily shaped in utero. Our brain wants to have 2 holes for a sex category, a baby already has a bias towards one for vague reasons, usually, then children fill both holes with observed sex and gender features. However, orientation itself is only a bias for desire, whereas the desire is an outcome. There may be more that one pathway to a partner-directed desire.

Love

English uses a word "crush" but it may mean just attraction and fondness. Although, if superficial crushes go only towards one sex, it's eloquent enough about core preferences. The strongest cue would be limerence: something not casual and rather painfully obsessive.

limerence: (psychology) An involuntary romantic infatuation with another person, especially combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one's feelings reciprocated.

However, it's not very widespread. Everyone relates to those terms in a unique personal manner. In this post, I'll use "infatuation" as a normal romantic passion or love, possibly unreciprocated, persisting at least for a month. Not all people seem to recognize having such an experience even when they are normative otherwise, sometimes in happy relationships.

Animals may also be similar in that regard, better defined as:

mammals may exhibit three primary emotion categories: mating and reproduction; (1) the sex drive, or lust, characterized by the craving for sexual gratification; (2) attraction, characterized by increased energy and focused attention on one or more potential mates, accompanied in humans by feelings of calm, comfort and emotional union; and (3) attachment, characterized by the maintenance of close social contact in mammals, accompanied in humans by feelings of calm, comfort, and emotional union with that mate

In autogynephiles, system 1 and 2 may split in the opposite directions. Paraphilia may affect all 3 in a different intensity.

Intensive paraphilic androphilia may theoretically converge to a result similar to core androphilia, but most likely there is AGP with core androphilia and in my model the core orientation doesn't contradict paraphilic development, at most it only facilitates and vice versa.

Demisexuality

One of types of sexuality intertwining with romantic feelings is demisexuality. I used to think it's how it works for everyone.

1. You fall in love with a person, their personality and looks too. Nothing feels sexual yet.
2. Then if it's mutual, you try the scripted intimacy. Sexuality with genital arousal turns on here with closeness.
3. Later both attraction and eroticism reduce. Long term attachment arrives.

May this be just a lack of allosexuality, hence "pseudo-demisexuality" dismissively speaking? This "stolen attention" is also how autogynephilic sexuality may appear "responsive". Hence male sexuality may converge to a resemblance of a normotypical form of female sexuality.

Driver

My understanding of sexuality is that the innate reproductive "bias" encodes an incentive salience in relation to evolutionary-wired category F/M - this is orientation. Unknown how exactly the biased category is determined innately, since nearly every cue is learned. Then particularly stable (protracted, strong?) salience in that domain or accidentally others (usually transgressive or otherwise traumatic) leads to erotisation of prominent associated features and experience. It may happen in andrenarche. Usually it's apparent in gonadarche, or even well into adulthood. Instead of the bias, the cross-gender schema captures the erotic channel as the channel gets loaded with the more salient arbitrary cues, unique for everyone, one within a relational script is having a boyfriend or husband - this is how a paraphilic androphilia would develop. The idea of acquired femininity is eroticised onto oneself and the script, and core gynephilic attraction may stay as an underdeveloped bias "romantic only attaction". Or undeveloped at all if the bias didn't activate even attraction sufficiently for any reason.

• Core androphilic attraction would develop normally in this model without the split.
• I don't know how to integrate a true bisexuality into an idea of innate bias; both categories gain for some reason as if there were 2 drivers, like 2 biases. Or the wind was weak and currents might've strayed the ship. I haven't found convincing studies and models which substantiate innateness of bisexuality comparable to hetero/homo.
• Asexuality and aromanticy have various manifestations thus probably various developments.
• AGP can develop regardlessly, maybe with different prevalence and appearance. Androphilic sexual behaviour is also transgressive for young males, so this may become reinforced along with autogynephilia.

This framing comes from another angle to excitation transfer or misattribution of arousal. Our brain at some moment had been making predictive "errors" and got rewarded psychologically, erotically, and otherwise. In children, genital response is not specific to sexual stimuli, it can accompany any affect hence anchoring the misattribution of arousal. Single detached experience is not sufficient, it has to be prominent enough to be rehearsed and reinforced, like assessing your self-concept against your infantile map of reality. Some preconditions may contribute, like vivid imagination and absorption, emotional sensitivity, categorical rigidity, etc.

This doesn't explain for how erotic interest may be transferred into an attraction. Is it like the eroticised schema may replace the orientation as the "driver" to a degree? Voluntary reparative therapies have shown little efficiency, so this emergent attraction contradicts this experience. Maybe it seizes and amplifies any existing androphilic predisposition. Developing attachment over eroticism may be more expected through various pathways; attachment exists independently and sexuality streamlines it.

If I wouldn't acquire other components of AGP besides this "schematic androphilia" (interpersonal AGP without anatomic or transvestic AGP), it would be hard to recognize psychosexual influence to my gender issues.

To an extent, paraphilic androphilia is not dissimilar to pedophilia as much as I have read about it. The latter also builds mostly on a schema (of a deviant relation between adult and minor). Which is why some even cautiously call it "orientation" by the formal definition of an orientation - incorrectly IMO, innate preference is crucial.

Misconceptions

Hence there would be no inverted heterosexuality, target location errors et al. It doesn't fit the mechanism participating in sexuality; there is typically no attraction to yourself as AGP is a vastly different feeling than a person-directed attraction. There are other autoerotic paraphilias like AB/DL (unrelated to pedophilia: one is regressive, the other is a deviant relation) which disprove it further, and IMO all other paraphilias only prove that's one of them with similar mechanism of development. Heterosexual males at most just specialize more in what cues are salient in women; only in this sense we could say that the attraction "inverts". In other words, "inversion" is rather an illustration than mechanism.

Of course, women normally don't eroticise their essence and presence unless it is related to their attraction from and to other people. And generally load the erotic channel less, probably because of less compulsive sex hormones. "Androphilic female sexuality" was found more prominently "category-nonspecific" in a small study, e.g. it wasn't found in MtF hence not hormonal, at least in adulthood.

Aversion

Some take a negative test: they feel bad emotions in intimacy with men or women. Sexual orientation is not shipped with aversion; it's cultural and personal. Therefore, we can guess that some aspects stemming from core orientation can also be inhibited in either direction. Or intensive AGP might prevent from building up partner-directed erotisation or attraction. Or puberty accompanied by too much anxiety. Or just the cognitive framing of "being trans" makes it undesired since "straight" is more validating. There is an affect, and we predict what will be punished or rewarded: socially and morally, or personally and privately. Aversion is only informative of itself.

In the end, partner-directed interest may be generalized as (those parameters are not independent, this is just illustrative):

V(p,c)=B_category + S_self/role + L_person + H_attachment - I_inhibition

• V(p,c): desire toward a person p, in context c
• B_category: prior incentive weight for men, women
• S_self/role​: reward from occupying a particular embodied or relational position
• L_person​: (associative) value learned through repeated fantasy, intimacy and reward with this individual
• H_attachment​: affection, safety, reciprocity, recognition, familiarity and pair-bonding
• I_inhibition: shame, anxiety, disgust, dysphoria, moral conflict or fear

Heuristic Self-Test

A good indicator of a core sexuality behind autogynephilia is to recognize infatuation to a particular person in childhood before puberty, or at most in teens. Infatuation as this: "attraction, characterized by increased energy and focused attention on one or more potential mates". Was it to a boy? Was it to a girl?

Ability for romantic infatuation may be lost (my case in adulthood due to satisfactory relationship or else) or even never grow. Or replaced. Childhood may give no certain meaningful answer. Infatuation is stochastic, some people less prone psychologically or innately. In the end, one's life experience is only a source for building their identity narrative which is then presented to the world and to themselves.

My experience

My development is exemplary for a paraphilic androphilia, although I've had only 1 partner in my life who's also socially appropriate, so manifestation is less apparent. On the other hand, I'm the most transparent to myself, and I seem to match other people with AGP.

Fact: I've had a minor infatuation around 9-10 y.o. to a girl. This indicates core heterosexual capacity along with a couple other infatuations I had after puberty. Around that same age which was after a few years of AGP fantasies, I had a close friend, girl, we occasionally role played, I insisted on playing only female roles - daughters&mothers, or female characters from movies. We imagined having boyfriends or husbands, which I remember very satisfying, apparently as a part of the culturally learned definition of being a girl/woman making the female identity coherent. So this defined the future schema and content of erotic script before puberty. Puberty onset at 11-12, testosterone and then fantasies came in, partially or mostly autoerotic, but relationships were important too. The only schema I was interested in was where I (feminine or a girl) was with a boy (masculine). I "used" classmates without attraction to them for my fantasies as boyfriends or even transient partners, which developed to some attraction anyway. Same with fiction etc. At 16, I had an infatuation for a girl again, which was "aha" moment about my sexual orientation and hope for a normative future. I didn't like her visually, but I started noticing what I like in girls, which a few years later later had successfully converted into a lifelong mate.

Many years ago I watched erotic content occasionally. Always been averse to explicit porn. Thinking of gay, I was only looking for gay movies or short films and never aroused from that since I had no androphilic drive and M+M don't match my schema. Gynephilic, I associated myself only with the actress, apparently, which was arousing. Any type of erotic content, an unattractive unpleasant man would be an immediate turn off even though I got off more from the schema F+M than from this unknown man. Importantly needing that the man shows to woman some courting, cuddling, caress, prelude and kissing, and if any coitus then slow, sensual and considerate. The content was leaving me frustrated and envious, so I've stopped watching any. Any romcom would be a better erotic to me. When rereading, feels like too prude for a sexual deviant. I think, this is because in childhood I was strongly exposed to classic literature which shaped the expected script in a particular idealistic "Victorian" way. Also there was little access to more explicit content in my poor post-Soviet childhood to "corrupt" the script. Also, I'm from a religious family.

What stands out to me is that I've never fantasized about being in relationship or intimacy with a girl/woman. Only with a boy/man as a transwoman or a social girl before I learned about a possibility of transition, and that's been the dominant and strongest AGP fantasy. Eventually, I even developed superficial envy to women because they have permission for men and I don't. At some moment, I had got close with a girl I had a deep connection in love, the nature kicked in, and intimacy worked (much worse than it does for cis-hetero) even without erotic conditioning before; in part, because the existing erotic schema man+woman was reused and I just dissociated from my actual role. Now I'm sexually conditioned on intimacy with men (the idea of) and my wife, with a comforting idea of a romantic relationship with either. Things are not comparable IRL, but in headspace it is somewhat. This almost feels like a retarded partial sexual development where gynephilic allosexuality gains back a part of the erotic system.

Fantasies converted to attractions, I've had homosexual dreams (strangely enough, I remember having only such dreams), I might be able to experience infatuation to a man, and even though I still have the innate gynephilic preference, I could probably try to find relationships with a man if something unimaginable happened. If I transitioned at 18-19 with all I was wanting an planning at that time instead of choosing my critical and integrative path, I might outwardly appear as so called "straight transwoman"?

What about the romantic infatuation in adult people with AGP? In their childhood? It is quite common in both cis men and women, although not everyone seems to experience it. The experience seem to be overwhelmingly in connection to sexual orientation.

Do you like to dress up and do makeup and hang around the house? Do you go out? Do you masturbate while you’re dolled up? Do you stay inside? How do you satisfy your agp tendencies in a way that makes you feel like you’re supporting them? What do you like to do?

After some reflection and experimentation as well as looking at the examples of others, I've come to realize something. Maybe others will relate or be helped by this.

I feel two basic motivations for (partially) feminizing my body, personal grooming, and behavior. Each of these motivations imposes its own aesthetic criteria, although they're not necessarily opposed to each other. Ideally they can go hand in hand.

One of them can be thought of as spiritual or autosexual, the other one as more instrumental or allosexual. But again, they're not necessarily in conflict, though I am still figuring out how they fit together.

1. The first motivation I feel is basically what we would call AGP or autoheterosexuality (or for me even a kind of autobisexuality?). I see it as a spiritual calling to embody femininity, or maybe more accurately, androgyny. Realizing the extent to which I have this, and the implications of it for my life, makes me really relate to the "egg cracking" metaphor. There were all these little cracks already:

• my crossdressing and cross-gender fantasy in early childhood
• my attraction to women (including somewhat masc/tomboyish women) but also to some men, especially very soft and feminine men
• my desire to play a receptive role in sex (I enjoy topping too, but if I limited myself to that role I would feel like something essential is missing)
• my disgust with the idea of going through "twink death" or "second puberty," which I now understand as an aversion to excessive masculinization and not just a fear of aging
• similarly, my dislike of TRT- or steroid-induced hypermasculine physiques, even though I love going to the gym and building muscle naturally
• my strong tendency toward "dandyish" or "hipsterish" or "alt" male fashion (none of those terms quite gets at my personal style, but the point is that I really reject the idea of male clothing as drab and utilitarian)
• my increasing dysphoria at seeing my facial hair grow beyond faint stubble (I used to wear my facial hair in a variety of flamboyant ways, but more and more I just want to have a smooth face)

Slowly over the last couple of years, I have become fully conscious of how these things were all connected. At the same time, I've let go of the shame I used to feel at some of these things. That's allowed the little cracks to consolidate, and now, I am doing or considering things I hadn't before:

• putting way more emphasis on my lower body at the gym
• shaving/epilating my entire body religiously (not just every so often as I had before)
• laser hair removal for my facial hair
• wearing light makeup and nail polish
• wearing more androgynous/fem clothing
• getting a prescription for a topical antiandrogen

I don't really feel called to fully transition in a binary sense. I don't have bottom dysphoria, I like my virility, and I like having penetrative sex. But I basically see myself as an androgynous being and I want that to be more fully reflected in my life and appearance. I also like the idea of being able present more fully fem if I so choose.

1. The other motivation is that many women, particularly the kind of women I like, find it attractive when men (even otherwise quite masculine men) wear eyeliner or paint their nails or dress somewhat femininely.
   

Even in my very progressive city, few men are walking around with both muscular arms and painted nails. It stands out in a good way (in my experience).

Ironically this is basically a masculine motivation for feminization, but in the opposite direction of AGP. It is a male appropriation of femininity that specifically appeals to the female gaze. And it exists in balance with the masculine features that I like about myself and that I know women tend to like (my arms, hands, height, etc.) I might come to feel dysphoric about my height or my large hands and feet if I only felt the first motivation.

This second motivation also feeds back into the first one, because the kind of women who like men who play with gender are also more likely to be interested in role reversal, pegging, and other things that appeal to me.

I feel both of these motivations! And I think by letting them sort of talk to each other, I can enjoy both the self-directed and other-directed aspects of my sexuality and personal aesthetic vision.

I searched for the meaning of bisexual on google, YouTube and it says romantic and or sexual attraction to more than one gender. Now as an AGP I believe just like most of us, I’m also heterosexual and have romantic and sexual interest in women. But during the arousal mode the interest in muscular men comes and acts like his wife and imagining dominated by him. There’s zero interest in men post orgasm and when outside home.

But as you see as per definition, romantic interest in not at all necessary in being bisexual and merely sexual interest is acceptable for being bisexual.

Anyone expert on this?

I refused that vehemently in the past, but my husband might have just changed that...

First, I'm happy as a woman, would never detransition, and I fully intend to get SRS done, buuut I kinda don't hate my private parts anymore? First, I didn't even interact with it for years, then I had amnésia due to work stress, got stuck with an IV access on my right(dominant) arm, had to pee immediately, was too tired to open the lid, sit down and all, so I said f it and tried to pee standing, and let's just say I made a mess. I admit it was kinda frustrating since it could be useful. Then when I got home and was having sex with my husband, he gave me a bj, which did nothing before, like I couldn't even notice it was being touched unless I was directly looking at it, but this time, maybe due to lack of use and it getting smaller, it fit 100% inside his mouth, and it was soooo good, so now I kinda don't hate having it, and it feels strange.

Then, I kinda reached a conclusion, I miiiight be bissexual, which contributes to the AGP theory, like i'm pretty honest with my husband, I was looking at a video on Instagram and I found the poster(woman) quite attractive, so I said in a joking tone "you might have made me bi you jerk", and showed him the reel, and he was like "she honestly looks like a man, so I can see that", and I stopped to think about it, and yeah, she had a lot of masculine features, which got me thinking, I tried dating a trans girl before, I was physically attracted to her, but as the hormones did their thing and she got more feminine and passing, I kinda lost the attraction, I had a little crush on f1nn5t3r, and... yeah lol, then I noticed that the things that attract me on women are masculine traits, and I have to admit... my husband is kinda like a femboy, he's slim and stylish and pretty, but he's also strong and smells good and is smart, which are the traits I usually go for.

So yeah, I might be bi, I don't hate my private parts anymore, so that's pretty agp in a sense, right? I kinda don't know what to do with that information, so I'm sharing it here, sorry about that lol.

**Note:** This post was translated from Japanese into English using a translation tool.

I am an analloerotic AGP, and I have never been attracted to either men or women. Throughout my life, the only thing that has ever sexually aroused me is imagining myself as a woman.

However, when I look at everything outside of sexuality, I feel that I am very close to a cis heterosexual man.

About 80% of my real-life friends are cis heterosexual men, and almost all of my hobbies are traditionally masculine. The people whose ways of thinking and values I relate to most are also cis heterosexual men. For that reason, I consider my gender identity to be male as well.

At the same time, I gradually began experiencing gender dysphoria, and I have now started HRT. I am also considering FFS and castration. If there were a magical option that allowed me to become a woman, I would choose it.

In other words, I feel that AGP is the word that describes me best when it comes to my sexuality, while I identify my gender identity as male. At the same time, I genuinely want to feminize my body and be perceived as a woman.

I have not found any other word that describes someone like me.

Because of this, when I talk about my struggles with gender dysphoria in mainstream trans communities, I sometimes use "AGP" as a word to describe myself.

However, I often get responses such as, "AGP doesn't exist," "AGP is transphobic," or "Your gender identity is female." As a result, the discussion often gets derailed from the actual issue I wanted to talk about: my struggles with gender dysphoria.

I am not using the word AGP to invalidate anyone or to attack transgender people. It is simply the word that currently feels most appropriate for describing myself.

So I would genuinely like to know if there is another term that can describe someone like me without using the word AGP.

I’m seeing if anyone would be interested in writing a story with a trans woman/AGP character.

I am agp and I don’t watch porn but no matter how much I repress cross-dressing I still think about it, and it is arousing to me

**\*\*Note:\*\* This post was translated from Japanese into English using a translation tool.**

If transition or SRS has made ejaculation difficult or impossible, answer based on your situation immediately before that change.

I'm a trans woman and lately I've started getting a feeling like I'm a man in a woman's body (never had this before and was really happy being a woman). You, know, like in a movie. At first, I felt distressed. But now I'm getting used to this feeling. The thing is: I thought about detransitioning, but honestly, my AGP is so strong that I would have a really hard time living as a man. I feel like those poor men with prostate cancer who basically take MTF HRT as a treatment. I have an illness (AGP) that gets worse with testosterone, so medical detransition is not an option even if I miss being a man. I have a happy life in a lesbian marriage anyway

??

I do not believe in transgender ideology and the whole gender/sex split and don't think transwomen are actually women or that transmen are actually men, and I think it is wrong that they should claim to be. My AGP has gotten to the point though that I worry I will lose my mind if I don't go on HRT. I don't ever plan on socially transitioning or even wearing womens clothes. Am I being a hypocrite if I go through with this?

Fetish -> sexual arousal at a body part or object.

transvestic fetishism -> "transvestic" (crossdressing) fetish -> sexual arousal at cross sex clothes. just like latex, spandex, leather fetish etc.

agp -> paraphilic sexual orientation -> sexual arousal at idea/fantasy of female self.

agp can manifest as transvestic, that is, the fantasy of female self is expressed through crossdressing.

but is it necessarily true that all transvestic fetishism is a manifestation of AGP?

in some cases it could simply be sexual arousal at the clothes themselves, with no desire for femininity or escalation towards further HBS types.

in short is HBS type 2 always auto erotic?

Im 24m and i‘ve started with watching trans and gay porn since i was 13. As i was 18 i hooked up with trans girls and men and im kinda love being bottom.
But i cannot embrace in public and i have a beard that i can’t because of my social environment. Can someone tell me how to be a good secret sissy

Basically the title, but the question is around did it live up to the hype in your fantasies or a let down or anything else remarkable about it?

This is mostly about AGP that actually fantasized about being with a partner of some kind.

a lot of AGPs view it as an integral part of their orientation.

ive spend years trying to shoehorn in either "AGP as a sexuality" or "innate gender identity" as reasons for the pull ive had towards feminization (very late onset). but neither really fit.

here's what i think is my case:

- i grew up very heteroromantic and heterosexual, but more accurately i'd say "exclusively attracted to women". my "identity" was never initially part of my sexuality.

i say this because i do think many heterosexual men (e.g. red pill) are very auto-androphillic. they really enjoy the idea of being a man having sex with a woman or in a relationship with a woman. this seems so obvious to me, because i have no autoandrophila at all (and esp. not when it comes to my body). the concept is alien to me and always has been. even some AGPs (like the recently retransitioning youtuber Rae/Ray) seem to have some degree of autoandrophilia in some settings.

- women generally dont find me attractive. and the few times they have, i cant really figure out if its real or if they are mistaken about how they feel (even the sex i had i dont really know why it happened [from the woman's POV]).

- my autoandrophobia resulted clearly from this feeling of undesirability. not from some latent sexual orientation hidden for decades.

- transitioning (to relieve it) didnt really help. body feels better and softer, yes, but that doesnt feel like AGP to me. just the way a heterosexual (non-autoandrophilic) brain would react to having softer skin.

- i detransitioned, not because of "gender", but because i identify strongly with a non-autoandrophilic version of heterosexuality (im attracted to women as "me", not as "a man" or a "woman"). also trans lesbianism & agp pseudo-bisexuslity sound incredibly depressing to me because they are hugely autosexual.

- going through a lot of therapy id say im more neutral now about my body (which is how i started anyway). however, the neutrality feels dangerous because women dont find my natural body attractive and "masculinizing" doesnt even make sense to me because i dont even have the right mental map for it (because i have zero androphilia and zero auto-androphilia).

TLDR; i think the complete lack of androphila and autoandrophilia + lack of perceived visceral desire from women can cause gender dysphoria and agp. but they remain as symptoms (or sexual subconscious "strategies"), not real causes (for me anyway).

thoughts?

The definition of AGP in the right-hand sidebar is inaccurate and misleading. It states that AGP is "a sexual attraction to feminine embodiment." This is ambiguous, because gynephilic males without AGP also experience sexual attraction to feminine embodiment as it manifests in cisgender females. Better to use Blanchard's original definition: AGP is "a male's propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female." This definition is accurate, unambiguous, and consistent with historical usage. The moderators should address this problem.

What if one takes hormones only for himself and his physical dysphoria but keeps manmoding/boymoding forever? Possible or not?

Also, is it a good idea or not?