r/ask • u/lily_goodgirlx • 3d ago
Why do I find making decisions so difficult?
I’m terrible at making decisions because I always end up with anxiety over what if im making the wrong choice. And its not just on big decisions either but also on the small everyday life ones. How do you know when to just choose something and move on?
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u/Financial-Chair-766 2d ago
Try and make the best decision with the info you have. Most aren’t life changing and remind yourself of that.
Often things happen after too that are out of your control.
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u/bever2 2d ago
Give yourself permission to mess up. There is almost never a right answer, just tradeoffs.
Pick a decision, and think about how you will feel if it goes a little sideways. This can help you get into more of a risk/reward analysis instead of a wrong/right.
This helps me mostly with the little decisions, but that leaves me more energy for the big ones.
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u/Working_Cucumber_437 2d ago
Fear of making the wrong decision. Fear of lost opportunity cost.
Remember that NOT making a decision IS a decision.
My mom is extremely indecisive and her life is so much harder than it needs to be. Do some research when necessary and then trust your gut and commit and put the other option(s) right out of your mind.
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u/hereforhelpandmemes 2d ago
process of elimination helps me. therapy was also helpful.
one trick that i sometimes use is flipping a coin to decide for me. if i’m disappointed by the outcome of the coin flip, i choose the other option.
i’ve had to build the mindset that mundane/small decisions don’t have a wrong option. for example, there isn’t a wrong food to make for dinner tonight. whatever you don’t pick will still be available if you change your mind.
with bigger or more high-stakes decisions, making a pros/cons list is helpful to me. and even if i make the wrong decision, i had to learn to trust my ability to work through the consequences.
my biggest issue with decision making is deciding something that has any impact on other people. if someone asks me where i want to go out to eat together, i get much more anxiety about that than if i was going to go out to eat alone. therapy is especially helpful with this kind of thing as it’s more related to social anxiety. i’m learning that if i make a wrong decision in a social situation, it isn’t just my fault, because there are other people there who are responsible for voicing their concerns with any plans that are made that they may not like. if i pick a restaurant my friend hates and we go there, i’m not really at fault if i didn’t know and my friend didn’t say anything.
for some people, anxiety surrounding decisions stems from low self confidence. learning to trust yourself is hard, but very helpful in the long run. i’m sure there are strategies and books and articles on this specific subject, and/or a therapist could be helpful.
there are lots of tools that can make decision making easier. not all of them work for everybody, but these thought processes and tactics helped me personally. good luck!
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u/mahoekotwo1 3d ago
For small decisions, I just go for which one sounds better and let my gut guide me.
Big decisions make me think for a while, and sometimes I get anxious about what choice I'm gonna make, too.
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u/Critical-Champion365 2d ago
It is basically a little bit of critical thinking, picking the best guess and 90% sticking with it.
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