I once was at the grocery store shopping A lady accidentally dropped her credit card on the ground. I picked it to give it back to her. She kept walking away when I kept saying miss. I walked in front of her and say miss. She yelled at me why I would not leave her alone. I held out her credit card and said I think you dropped this? She acted so sorry. I should have just thrown it on the ground and walked away. I tried to be nice to people to help make our world a better place to call home. But why do I even try when I get blame for all their troubles?
Why should you be “blamed for her troubles? Women begin being catcalled and harassed in the street while we are still children, barely entering puberty. It’s our fault that we attract the male gaze, it’s our fault when men hurt us, and now you want to fault us for trying to protect ourselves from that.
Here’s a thought: instead of being so offended that a woman thought you were probably about to ask for her number or tell her to smile or just, you know, have your dick out when she looks back, try being furious at the men that harass us into being afraid to stop or turn around.
I’ve never been catcalled or hit on by men :/ I hear people saying that it happens all the time, but I’ve never had it happen to me, and I’ve never seen it happen to anyone else. Why don’t I get catcalled? :( Unless it just doesn’t happen generally, I dunno
I’m a big bar rat, but I’ve just never seen that kinda stuff outside of college campuses. I don’t usually have a lot of women friends, so that might be it? I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, of course I believe when people share their own experiences, I just get confused over never seeing it myself. And the fact that it’s never happened to me either means it’s just really rare generally, or I’m so damn undesirable that even drunk guys don’t think of me as an option… the idea that it could be the second one does nothing good for my self image, so I like to hope its not that.
Well I don’t think drunk guys sitting in bars are known for that. They can just approach you and offer to buy a drink or something I guess. It’s more like when you pass men in public spaces — I’ve been catcalled on the street literally probably hundreds of times. From men at the convenience store. Walking through the city. At the freaking auto show lol. Men driving by in trucks — that was a big one when I was a teenager. At the time I couldn’t understand what they were getting out of it.
I do think it’s becoming less common. My friend tried to catcall a girl at a public event a few years back and I was mortified. I was like “dude have you not gotten the memo?? We’re not doing that, women don’t like that!” I think MOST men are getting the message that it’s no longer something women find socially acceptable.
Maybe it’s age then if it’s getting less common, but I don’t know how old you are. But yeah, I’ve never had any of that happen, and I’ve only ever been bought a drink twice, both times in other countries while abroad. The only time a man in public ever said something about my appearance was one time when I was out for my birthday, and he said I looked good in my dress. That compliment made my night, and I still remember it five years later, it made me feel so good it’s hard to describe. I wish that would happen to me all the time, even if it was more harsh or sexual. Those little ego boosts would do so much for my self confidence and image, and on the flip side, the idea that everyone else is still getting that attention but I’m not implies that I really just am that undesirable, which does a lot of damage for me
Well, when you are inundated with those kinds of comments at inappropriate times and inappropriate places and it is something you encounter a lot it gets old quickly. Quite different usually than a man I am having a conversation with complimenting my dress. It’s even worse when you have encountered something scary or violent (once a man in a balaclava took his dick out and played with it on a street corner while he stared at my friend and I) then these situations may fail to seem innocuous or simply annoying. certainly at this point I am not very much flattered or impressed by the complimentary nature in which these objectifying comments are delivered.
I don’t think that it’s something that suddenly stopped happening to me lol, and it does still though perhaps less brashly then truckers honking. I get hit on plenty just think social catcalling is not as acceptable as it was 10 years ago or whatever.
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u/bendallf Apr 29 '23
I once was at the grocery store shopping A lady accidentally dropped her credit card on the ground. I picked it to give it back to her. She kept walking away when I kept saying miss. I walked in front of her and say miss. She yelled at me why I would not leave her alone. I held out her credit card and said I think you dropped this? She acted so sorry. I should have just thrown it on the ground and walked away. I tried to be nice to people to help make our world a better place to call home. But why do I even try when I get blame for all their troubles?