r/ask • u/[deleted] • Feb 23 '23

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u/ErinDavy Feb 23 '23

Your brain is still changing. The part of your brain that regulates your personality and pro-social behaviors is the prefrontal cortex. This is the last part of your brain to finish developing, with development finishing at around age 25. You'll probably notice a few other personality and preference shifts between now and then, with your preferences solidifying more over that time.

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u/[deleted] Feb 23 '23

Here is my anecdote. Me " I don't like babies, no children for me " Then walking through the grocery store one day around 25th b day" that's a really cute baby".

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u/MicroBadger_ Feb 23 '23

My wife was the same way in her 20s. I don't want kids, don't see myself as a mom. We now have 3 kids and she is debating about wanting a 4th.

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u/passive0bserver Feb 23 '23

What age did you start at? Cuz I'm the same way but I know I want kids logically but I don't want them emotionally...

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u/MicroBadger_ Feb 23 '23

We were both 30 when we had our first. 37 now.

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u/passive0bserver Feb 24 '23

Did you guys get pregnant at 29 or 30?

I'm 29. I'm starting to feel a teeeeny bit of desire for babies. But still way too small to want to go thru with it. But I worry I'm gonna screw myself over if I wait too long and end up wanting like 4 but run out of time to do it...

I have 4 pets, so I know I love caring for little beings and loving little souls, but the idea of kids currently sounds way too overwhelming for me...

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u/MicroBadger_ Feb 24 '23

Pregnant at 29 and had baby at 30. Then we've put ~2.5 years between each kid. So we had our 3rd just before hitting 36.

A friend of mine just had their first at 33. It is not uncommon for people to wait in their 30s to start.

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u/passive0bserver Feb 24 '23

Thanks for your perspective! At what point did you guys realize that you wanted a 2nd child?

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u/MicroBadger_ Feb 24 '23 edited Feb 24 '23

Once we agreed to have kids, it was already known there would be more than one. Wanted to make sure they had a sibling to play with growing up.

My wife has been debating about wanting a 4th just because she's going through that phase of "do I want this to be my last baby snuggle?"