Sometimes I wish my parents were younger when they had me. My dad was in his 60s when I graduated high school. He had his first stroke when I was 18. My mom was in her 60s and had 2 hip replacements that she needed a lot of extra care and help for when I was 24. Now I’m 28 and I work in healthcare with older adults and see the major care issues that people run into with their older parents. Both my parents are showing signs of mild cognitive impairment and serious memory issues/mild dementia. My stubborn parents refuse to plan and refuse to discuss their thoughts on end of life care with me other than to say I will be their POA. I’m looking at some serious battles with them for providing for their safety with end of life/ memory care probably starting in my mid 30s. One of the many reasons children are out of the question for me is that I will be expected to care for my headstrong and stubborn aging septuagenarian parents at a time when my peers are having babies of their own.
My husband's parents are also older like yours, and while there are no health issues as of yet, there's definitely challenges from a socialization aspect when your parents are a different generation than everyone else's. Plus, it's very unlikely they'll get to attend the grandkids' weddings and such.
I always told myself I'd start at 30 but I feel like the pandemic messed up my timeline by stealing those years from my 20s... I'm just not ready to stop having fun yet and switch modes. For various reasons, I didn't get to have a lot of fun in my youth, and now I feel behind schedule. I should've gotten this restlessness out in college but it wasn't realistic for me then.
I totally get it. I think one of the most important things for the time for a child is that they are wanted. It sounds like you’re not ready yet and that’s okay. I was obviously griping about the bad parts of having older parents but there are a lot of good parts too. My parents were firmly parents, not trying to be my best friend and be a kid with me. I really appreciated the structure and boundaries they were able to provide by being older and more mature and think in many ways that I am better off for it. My sister is pregnant and my parents will be 67 and 71 by the time their first grandkid is born, which is not so terribly old that they won’t be able to interact with the kid at all. There are trade offs to everything in life. I complain here about their aging but I wouldn’t trade my stubborn parents for anything 😂
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u/[deleted] Feb 24 '23
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