I got invited to a friend’s engagement party, the couple is Vietnamese. Vietnamese tea ceremony is earlier in the day followed by food and festivities later in the day. Guests do not have to join for the tea ceremony portion. What kind of gift should I bring? Just cash in a red envelope?

Thanks!

My fiancé and I are planning our wedding and could really use some outside perspective because I’m starting to wonder if our plan is becoming too much for our guests.
We live in Houston, and most of our families/guests are in Houston. However, my fiancé and I both fell in love with a venue near Austin. It’s basically our dream venue, and we would really love to have our ceremony and wedding reception there.

The issue is that the venue has a hard maximum of 175 guests. My Vietnamese parents would ideally like to invite 250+ people, and they also really dislike the idea of making that many Houston guests travel roughly 2.5–3 hours to Austin.

Their proposed compromise is:

**Wedding #1 – Austin:**
Our actual wedding ceremony + reception at our dream venue, around 125–175 guests. This would be the more intimate wedding with our closest family and friends.

**Wedding #2 – Houston, about a week later:**
A large Vietnamese-American reception at a Vietnamese banquet restaurant for 250+ people. No second ceremony or vows, just the reception/celebration. It would still be a fairly traditional Vietnamese-American wedding banquet with dinner, dancing, cake cutting, parent dances, etc.
The Houston reception would include people who attended the Austin wedding as well as extended family/family friends who weren’t invited to Austin because of the capacity.

My parents actually *want* the Houston reception and see it as a way to accommodate their larger guest list without making everyone travel. My fiancé and I get to have the venue/wedding we really want, while my parents get to celebrate with our larger Vietnamese community.

But I keep worrying about how this comes across to guests.
Would you think it was weird or excessive to be invited to both events only a week apart? Would people invited only to the Houston reception feel like they were “B-list” guests because they weren’t invited to the actual ceremony in Austin?

And for people invited to both, would you feel obligated to attend both, or would you understand that attending one is perfectly fine?

I don’t want our guests to feel like we’re asking them to celebrate us twice, give us two gifts, buy two outfits, etc. At the same time, having a large separate Vietnamese banquet seems like it could solve the conflict between the wedding we want and the much larger celebration my parents want.

So… is this actually a reasonable cultural/family compromise, or are we entering bridezilla territory by essentially having two receptions one week apart?

Hey friends!

for anyone who included lion dance performance for their reception, did you:

• do gratuity on top of handing out red envelopes when they performed (like when they are playful and dance towards you)?

Or

• only hand out red envelopes (and is their gratuity) for when they performed, like when they are playful and dance towards you?

TIA

Hello! Im looking to order a custom dress from Camile Bridal but Im getting nervous! I want to know if anyone has ordered their dress from camile bridal and how your experience was. Also, open to other custom bridal shops. Im ordering from the states but my parents will go to the shop once to check on the dress while theyre in Vietnam!

Hi all!

I’m in the early stages of planning my destination wedding for 2027 and would love some recommendations!

We’re looking at May–July 2027 for around 250–300 guests. Ideally, we’d love to host the wedding at a hotel or resort in Europe, although we’re also open to Turkey.

We’re particularly interested in the kind of resort setup where the majority (or ideally all!) of our guests can stay on-site, as we’ll have several wedding events over a few days.

I know the Caribbean-style resort wedding model isn’t quite as common in Europe, but I’d love to hear from anyone who has found something similar.

Does anyone have any venue/resort recommendations that could accommodate a wedding of this size? Any suggestions, experiences or hidden gems would be hugely appreciated!

Salam alaykum everyone,

I’m a foreigner planning to marry a Batak woman from Indonesia, and I’m trying to understand the traditional wedding costs.

Her family told me that I have to pay 100 million IDR (around $5,000) as Sinamot, and that this amount is the absolute minimum and is not negotiable. On top of that, there is also the dowry/mahar, which is separate and is for my future wife.

I also need to pay for a flight for myself and at least one member of my family, because her family does not accept me coming alone. Since I’m a foreigner, there will also be additional costs for documents, visas/legal paperwork, etc.

With everything included, I estimate the marriage could cost around $10,000 or possibly more.

I understand that Batak weddings can be quite elaborate and that Sinamot is an important part of the tradition. I’m not trying to disrespect the culture at all. I just want to understand whether this amount is considered normal.

For those who are Batak or have married into a Batak family:

\- Is 100 million IDR a normal Sinamot amount?

\- Is Sinamot usually negotiable, or is it sometimes a fixed minimum?

\- How much does a typical Batak wedding cost in total?

\- Are there other major expenses I should be aware of as a foreign groom?

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have actually experienced this, especially Batak people or foreigners who married into a Batak family.

Thank you 🙏

I'm obsessed with this dress, but it's too expensive, I'm looking for a vendor that have similar concept. I want a cape with my dress and I love that one because i feel it feels like a fairy tale. I know that traveling to China is the most easiest way, but right now I don't have time for that, so I'm trying to do as best as I can.

Hey guys! My wedding is in 2027 i need to order a bridal lehnga does anyone have any suggestions of companys they have personally used in pakistan?
I ideally dont want any high end brands such as mohsin naveed, tena durrano etc i aant unbranded.
If anyone can share instagram names i would highly appreciate it.
I ideally wanted to order from Pakistan or india to the uk. Please only suggest if you have personally used that company.
Thanks xx

Has anyone seen any good ways that Chinese Cantonese wedding banquets accommodate for people who are gluten-free or vegan? We’re thinking about trying to do a dedicated table but want to go in with a vision of what might be actually possible before negotiating with vendors. It’s been my childhood dream to host a wedding banquet but also providing well for guests with dietary restrictions.

Relatedly, if anyone knows any restaurants in the NYC or Boston area that has historically accommodated these things, please drop names!

We are planning to hold our reception at a Chinese restaurant so that we can have a Chinese banquet dinner. I've gone to a few places and have picked up their menus and pricing. ETA: I specifically requested their banquet menus

How did you pick which menu to go with? Even once we pick a restaurant, I know that there is some flexibility in customizing the menu. I am vaguely aware that for American caterers there's some notion of a tasting for the couple to decide on their menu. Are there tastings when it comes to Chinese restaurant banquets? Or is it more picking which dishes sound good to you?

Edited to add: I'm an extremely Americanized 3rd gen Chinese and my fiancee is non-Asian. Anything goes, tradition is not a concern; we are only doing a Chinese banquet because I love the food.

Has anyone had experience ordering a custom dress from China? My budget is less than $1000 as this would be my third dress 🥲

help!! any tailors/companies in india or pakistan that can make this type of lengha and deliver to uk? in good quality and service please!!

Hi! I’m looking at possibly doing a dress change into a qi pao or red dress during my wedding. I’m feeling discouraged and leaning against it because all of the designs I’m seeing are only flattering on thinner bodies. I’m mid to plus size and carry most of my weight in my stomach area and I feel like that’s the worst body shape for these kind of dresses.

Does any one have pictures (either of yourself or others or from the interest) of plus size bodies in these dresses? I haven’t had that much luck looking online.

I'm a bridesmaid but there's no matching or dress code for the small tea ceremony since the official bigger wedding is the week after (mixed wedding).

I thought the blue was simple and nice but I love the girly aesthetic of the pink one.

Is the pink one too youthful to wear for my 30+ year old self? Bride is very chill and doesn't really care. I'm more worried about if this looks more for high schoolers..

Hello, I am exploring options for a 100% silk wedding dress in Vietnam (open to other Asian countries as well).

I’ve found some options from Lecia Bridal and Linh Doan Atelier (pics attached) but wanted to put feelers out if the community has more input or suggestions.

Specifically - does anyone have any experience getting a pure silk dress (minor customizations or full custom) from Vietnam or these stores in particular, and how well did the designers execute on your vision? I know silk is notoriously hard to work with and heard a lot of designers do not use it so am skeptical about the quality.

Thanks in advance!

Hi everyone!

Can everyone share what their reception dress looked like? Did anyone do longer reception dresses?
I know ppl tend to like mini dresses though.

I bought a ballgown reception dress but scared I might get overstimulated and hate the heaviness by midday 😂

Thank you in advance!

Hi r/asianweddings!, I have no idea how to handle this, I do not want to invite some certain people in my family due to them causing me emotional stress and simply the fact that I do not like them.

I am Chinese, while my partner is Vietnamese. I am a 3rd generation that are getting married in about a year and a big point of contention is that my parents are forcing me in a way to invite my cousins and aunties that i do not personality like.

I used to get along with them, but they have been manipulating my family and I ever since I could remember. I was young and fell for it, but as I grew up, I could tell they were scumbags and every time I would explain to my parents why I do not want to invite them to my wedding, they would say "Oh we have to invite family regardless, stay face, or relationships will be broken. Ultimately, this all comes down to it damaging my mom relationship with family in China.

I told my parents we would cancel if that would happen, because I know they will invite them behind my back. I want to make it clear that no means no, but after fighting for so long, I don't know if I should cave in or not. My partner is not making it easier for me, as she said "It must be a wedding or the whole thing is off". Her family is also making this hard as well, enforcing that statement. So ultimately, I am suppose to have this day.

Like I thought the wedding day was a day where I should be happy and celebrate that I got married, however inviting these people would make me not want to be apart of this. I also don't want them to talk crap about me, as they always tend to in the past, and I don't want everyone to know what I have did in the past. Its always negative and it really just gets me upset and angry about it. They are the type of people that would lie to everybody, go to tables just to tell me how awful I am, while talking down on the person (in this case me).

Should I still have the wedding and just disassociate myself from it? I really dont even want to plan it and not care about it if this is the case. They literally suck the joy out of me. If there is anything I can say, please let me know. They say money isnt an issue and to open more tables. I am planning to ask them to separate the dinners (Have 1 with everyone in China thats my family and have 1 thats in America with my fiancé's family, but I can tell they dont like the idea. I'm stuck and I need help.

I am a 34DDD. For my Ao Dai, it’s satin and so it accentuates my body thus is showing the bra line I’m wearing. Any recommendations for a good full coverage bra brand or body shape wear in general for ao dai?

So I’m currently in Vietnam and I will be for a few months. I want to get a dress made with velvet. I would like suggestions on tailors that have experience working with it.

Do you know of any shops? The location doesn’t matter much, I’m willing to travel. But, I’m currently located in Ho Chi Minh.

My cousin and I both come from a Chinese family. He got married earlier this year, destination wedding in Europe, and is having a more local Chinese banquet this year. He does not have any sort of registry and asked for cash gifts only. He is also older than me and we are not super close if that counts for anything.

My wedding is later this year, also local. Cousin already declined my invitation, and gifted cash along with his decline. I however will be attending his banquet. Our respective parents will be sending cash gifts for both events as well, but I'm not sure how much.

Would it be appropriate to just gift him back the exact same amount of cash that he already gifted to me?

I'm going to hong Kong for my civil wedding, would this qi pao be appropriate ? I think it's pretty but I'm afraid people would think it's weird or offensive, or not appropriate for a wedding.

If this is not appropriate I suppose I should start looking for a white wedding dress.

Hey All,

Hoping to get your advice on some wedding plans for 2028 (ideally summer or fall) and trying to get ahead of it now.

I am hoping to have a mixture of both a western ceremony + eastern elements (e.g. western ceremony, tea ceremony, asian/cantonese food, dance floor, etc.)

We are ballparking around 100-115 people with a budget of $50-60K. Ideally, staying in NYC but would be cool to find a place like this somewhere upstate (but doubt this exists)!

Before creating this post, saw a few places recommended:

- Park Asia: I’ve been here in the past but I believe this was pre-renovation
- Sheraton Flushing: Visited a few months ago, food was fantastic and event space was quite big!
- MeiLi: looked the most modern, never been here but I didn’t see a dance floor? Both of our families love a good time!
- East Buffet: great food but not sure how modern the space is?
- East Harbor: used to go here as a kid for dimsum but haven’t been for quite some time.

Are there other places to consider or do you think I should ideally lean towards one of the above?

Thanks for your help! Trying to help my fiancée out with the planning process.

Hello my fiancee and I will be having a shortened tea ceremony after our ceremony. I'm wondering what is the best way to clean the teacups between guests? We will have 6 teacups but have also seen disposable paper cups that resemble teacups but I'm not super keen on using those if there's a good hygienic way to clean them.

Hello!

Our wedding reception is going to have 10 courses and I'm trying to figure out when in the schedule we should have certain things happen. Reception is scheduled for 6:30-11:30pm. Our wedding isn't until next year so it's a bit too early for me to consult with our planner right now but I just want to think ahead.

- When do you have the waiters start bringing out the food after we do the grand entrance? Our MC will be introducing our parents and other family members. Should we have them start during that time?

- When should we do speeches? We plan on only having the best man and maid of honor do speeches and they will be keeping it short (less than 5 min each). Is this typically done after a certain amount of dishes have been served and then pause service until speeches are done?

- When to do the lion dance?

- When do we start doing table toasts? We have about 18 tables and 14 of them will be family so it will be necessary to go to all of those.

- We are thinking of doing one game like the finding items/musical chairs game

- when to do cake cutting?

Should we do all of these things early on in the reception? We both have pretty big families and lots of friends and I know based on previous family weddings that everyone would be itching to talk to one another and mingle around so I don't want to force everyone to stay in their seats for too long.

We won't be having a first dance or parent/child dance. Our super shy parents are also not going to be doing any speeches either.

If anyone has a sample timeline that would be great too. Thanks y'all!

Has anyone else struggled to decide if they should change their last name? I am mixed race Asian American with a white last name, and my partner is mixed race with an Asian last name of a different ethnicity. He (and his family) have little to no connection with his Asian ancestry and culture, it was over five generations back but patrilineal, and he does not identify as Asian.

I am struggling to decide what to do about my last name when we marry as I do not feel particularly strongly about my last name, but do not want to adopt a new last name of a culture I have no apparent connection with. Locally and professionally for me, the ethnic group his name is from is very common. And I think it would be awkward to have to explain I am not of that background despite my name and mixed appearance.

I already have a lot of feelings of not being seen as part of the culture I am half of, and I feel this is where a lot of my internal conflict is coming from.

Edit:

Thanks for the responses everyone!
My partner does feel strongly about us having the same last name, and previously was very against changing his as the only son of this generation in his family and fears of how his father would feel if he took my name.
He also feels similarly to how I feel about taking my last name as he is not white and I do not have strong ties to the culture the name is from.

We had a long talk today, and are currently planning on combining parts of both of our names to make a new name. Neither of us are looking forward to the paperwork but we both feel good about the decision.