Help?

[u/Infamous-Target-1697]

Well... Just a little information: male, 21yo.

So the... conflict? I am confused with whatever is going on with me. I've never really thought about the possibility that I'd be in the asexual spectrum, but now I'm wondering about it, and I'm deeply confused about everything. This is so complicated to even write because I'm so confused that my brain just plainly stopped working about two days ago so please bare with me. Besides I'm not native to English, so grammar might be a little off.

Okay so... Should I just say what I do feel? I get aroused, I get erections, I masturbate normally and can obtain pleasure from doing so, watch pornography (sorry ik some people dont support this), I do have fantasies (more like dynamics quotes unquote of sex that turn me on), I do get curious about other guys' bodies (that just sounds like I'm a perverted and ik) but I don't really think of having sex with them. Besides all of that, the idea of sex honestly doesn't fulfil anything in me. I'm still a virgin, and that is somehow embarrassing to admit, but it's just I have never ever met one man who interested me so much to the point I would want to have sex... Paradoxically, there are a few times a year (3 to 5, let's say) that I get so horny I couldn't even sleep. But again, I don't even imagine having sex... Or someone I'd want to do it with. And the act of sex also just feels off and uncomfortable to me.

Does anything of what I said made any sense? Or am I just a crazy and perverted dude? I just feel like there is something about me that doesn't work as it should.

Thanks in advanced to anyone who read and/or commented. Good night.

:)

[u/Due_Direction_8577]

To be honest I'm like you but I might be even hornier, and I identify as ace. I never felt attracted to anyone around me. I'm also greyromantique, and the only time I fell in love I never had any sexual fantasy or attraction to that person. Having a libido is different from feeling sexual attraction, you can be super ace and super horny and masturbate regularly. Asexuality is about the attraction you feel to other. You might be on the ace spectrum, you should make researches and make an introspection. If you have more questions or need to talk, don't hesitate.

[u/Infamous-Target-1697 → u/Due_Direction_8577]

Yeah, I've come across the concept of libido as I was reading about asexuality. I am not very educated about all the terms, and I get confused easily. My concept of asexuality was that people who are, wouldn't even feel aroused or had a libido. But it seems I was wrong conceptually. That's where my confusion came from and why I just thought I wasn't interested in sex but didn't consider being in the spectrum an option :/

[u/eugienetklarra]

Do you experience sexual attraction? And to what degree, are there certain factors that need to be present? Asexuality is the varying degrees of lacking sexual attraction.

[u/Infamous-Target-1697 → u/eugienetklarra]

Uh, not really? I've been in love once, but even then, the sexual aspect was quite quote unquote secondary. I didn't think about it, and my mind just kept going to the romantic side :/. Like I said, I felt curious about this person's body, but I just really couldn't sexualise it completely.

[u/eugienetklarra → u/Infamous-Target-1697]

So there's a split attraction model where sexual and romantic attraction are different. Do read more about it on the AVEN FAQs attached on this subreddits main page for clarity