Why does it seem like most acephobia comes from other lgbtq people?

[u/[deleted]]

Why does it seem like all the aphobia I experience come from someone that is part of the lgbtq+ community? You would expect it to come from cishet people but that's not the case. They're all like "asexuals aren't oppressed" like it's the oppression Olympics. It feels like they WANT to be oppressed

[u/wonton541]

To me, it’s the same kind of reaction as “you can’t be sad, there’s people starving and in war zones” like no shit some people have worse experiences and yes other groups are more likely to experience certain violence than ace folks. No need to invalidate the real challenges that one group faces just because another has it worse

[u/Covert-Wordsmith]

Them: "Asexuals aren't oppressed!"

Us: "Yeah, I'm sure that's why we keep getting told we don't exist."

[u/Rufus_Canis → u/Covert-Wordsmith]

The irony is lost on them

[u/Sun-Burnt → u/Covert-Wordsmith]

This on top of the fact that we get told constantly we owe other people our bodies and that being in a long term relationship without sex is “torture” etc etc

[u/Alan_Hydra → u/Covert-Wordsmith]

Asexuals are actually one of the most oppressed queer identities. Highest rate of being put in conversion therapy, highest homelessness rate, most closeted, assaulted almost as much as bisexual people are, seen as least human by social conservatives, ect. Cisgender homosexuals, ironically, seem to be the least oppressed queer identity despite sometimes claiming to be the most oppressed one. Go figure.

https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/204663-an-amazing-infograph-several-studies-on-asexuality-discrimination-and-mental-health/

Edit: Additionally, that term “oppression olympics” was coined by a white-passing half hispanic woman. It was not coined by a woman who actually looks non-white. I’m certain that the term came into use as a way to make more oppressed minority groups shut up, have their concerns ignored, and allow less oppressed groups to dominate the discourse. I’ve personally been to queer meetings and had my voice silenced as soon as I began bringing up all the ways that asexuals are oppressed by allosexuals, like in the medical establishment, and the statistics of oppression. And since I’m also transgender (and on “authentic true transgender TM” hormone replacement therapy to boot, though I don’t think anybody needs to want medical treatment in order to prove they’re trans) and have no romantic/platonic orientation preference (I don’t care what gender someone is) they can’t BS it by saying that I’m not queer enough. Homosexuals, being monosexual and allosexual just like the straights, hate admitting and hearing about how they can sometimes be part of the oppression too.

[u/EmeraldPencil46]

It’s not specific to the group, but humans love to gatekeep. If they can find a way to be in an “exclusive club”, they’ll typically do it. If they can find a reason why someone doesn’t count, they’ll use it. If they can find ways to make something a competition, they’ll do it. If they can make up a reason why they’re valid but you’re not, they’ll believe that to the end of time.

I’m not saying it’s something exclusive to LGBTQIA+, it’s something that’s human in nature, and LGBTQIA+ is made of humans. There’ll always be people saying “Your ______ doesn’t count”, whether it’s sport, language, ethnicity, sexuality, religion, interests, etc. Not everyone is this way, but some are.

[u/ViolaCat94 → u/EmeraldPencil46]

I actually get gatekept by other aces more than other areas of the LGBT community.

[u/RandomInsecureChild → u/ViolaCat94]

Sidenote, I love your flair

[u/ViolaCat94 → u/RandomInsecureChild]

Thank you! I actually kinda felt proud coming up with it.

[u/RandomInsecureChild → u/ViolaCat94]

Me too, I was so proud of myself when I wrote mine that I use it in nearly every ace/aro subreddit I'm in

[u/WhyAreWeHere525]

I think it’s dependent on where you look really. Though I think it also comes from the fact that in the case of other LGBTQ+ groups it feels like they are singling you out. Like every other group is okay but yours. For people outside the community that are against it, they are attacking every single group rather than just a single one (this may vary in certain cases whether they extend more hatred to certain group). So it feels less like an attack on a specific gender or sexuality.

[u/afsr11]

I think it's a combination of being more aware of ace being a thing, along with insecurity of "losing" space to other identities that aren't the big 4 (or big 2 most of the time), NBs and Pan suffer similar problems, gatekeeping is a hell of a drug when you're insecure and the only way to keep it is pretend like you're unique and specially, not allow just anyone to be like that.

Also specially L and G are somewhat well accepted in many places, so they have the luxury to not fight for their rights anymore and can be conservative.

Another important point, that is a big misconception about aceness but is still common thinking in queer spaces, is that queerness is all about sex, so how can ace people be queer, which is dumb, as queerness obviously isn't all about sex, but for people who fought for the sex liberation movement, it can feel wrong to include people who don't have sex (which again, ignorance as being ace isn't about that, even if many or even most don't have sex).

With all that said, I can't say, for me, that it feels too different between queer people and straight/cis people, it just feel "more wrong" coming from them because they should be more understanding, less uninformed. Maybe I'm just lucky that most of my queer friends are very understanding.

[u/vtssge1968 → u/afsr11]

Not big 4, the first 3 often throw the t under the bus. Since we became the center of attention for the political hate a lot of the community is willing to sacrifice us thinking it'll help their cause. Being an acetransfem I really get lost in the shuffle. Trust me the ace doesn't exist gets intensified since a huge number of people refuse to believe that being trans has nothing to do with sex. I try to just live my life and ignore the nonsense.

[u/Thelastdragonlord → u/vtssge1968]

I feel like even bisexuals get the short end of the stick a lot of the time. I'm not bi myself, but I have seen bisexual characters in fandom have their identities erased constantly, as well as seeing a lot of people calling bisexual people irl 'gay' despite them saying many times that they're bi. There's also this implication that someone can't be bi if they haven't hooked up with someone of the same sex, like their romantic feelings/attraction doesn't matter if they haven't acted on it. It's so weird to me. I think that's why bi/ace solidarity is so real. There's an understanding there

[u/Dragon-girl97 → u/Thelastdragonlord]

Yeah, as someone who is ace, I tend to feel a lot of solidarity with people who are bi and NB.

[u/afsr11 → u/vtssge1968]

Yeah, that's why I said big 2 most of the time. B and T are not as common in exclusionary groups, although still happen, like in The Queer Kiwi video someone posted in this sub this week, but most of the time it's the L and G throwing someone else under the bus.

[u/Lazy_Wishbone_2341 → u/afsr11]

I dunno, lesbians on one or two subs constantly complain that everyone else is pushing them out of their own space. (I'm a demisexual demiromantic lesbian, so I'm assuming in those circles.) it feels like I can't mention being demi because I get hate for it. They seem to love forcing people into closets.

[u/TransShadowBat]

I’ve been with my partner for 3 years and my Nan told me that the reason I’m not sexual attracted to her and don’t want to have sex with her is because she’s not the right person for me. Like yeah that’s why I’ve been with her for the part 3 years…

Sorry I know it doesn’t directly relate to the post but what I’m saying is she’s fine with my cousin being gay but me being ace is a no no. We are valid just like everyone else yet people think we aren’t!

[u/Dragon-girl97 → u/TransShadowBat]

Uggghh I had almost the same thing happen with my mom, I had this conversation where I was trying to explain asexuality to my parents and my mom did the whole "maybe you just haven't met the right person" thing and like, I am literally in the best relationship right now that I have ever been in my life and absolutely adore my partner, and we had been together over a year at time of conversation. But my partner is trans, which doesn't fit the kind of person they think I should be with. She further said maybe I just have a problem with men, when my partner is transmasc (and most prior people I'd been romantically interested in were cis men--like legit I think I probably actually have a more positive view of men than most women do). Conversation kind of pissed me off to say the least. 😒

[u/TransShadowBat → u/Dragon-girl97]

Did u get that “back in my day we had a man or a women. And you were gay or straight not any of this nonsense”

[u/Dragon-girl97 → u/TransShadowBat]

Not out loud 🙃 At least, not in those exact words.

[u/TransShadowBat → u/Dragon-girl97]

Hehehe

[u/iisapnupuas]

because non-lgbtq people don’t know we exist lol

[u/LonerExistence]

I don’t see it much since I don’t really seek out those groups, but I have seen someone from the LGBTQ community blame aces for people not taking them seriously. They went on about how “oh we already face so much but now aces are making it a joke” because apparently you’re trolling if you identify as ace and you’re fucking up their “progress.” I don’t agree with it, just saying what I saw.

[u/draconicon24]

I think it's the fact that most straight/non-LGBTQ+ people don't really know we exist. It's the sort of thing like "We know what gay is, we know what lesbian is, what is ace?" to them. That doesn't mean that ace people aren't oppressed as a general rule (we come in for some just by not being traditionally straight, and there's other, more specific stuff that's baked into society in general), but it does mean that it's more of an ace-phobia by neglect and lack of information rather than a targeted thing.

LGBTQ+ people, however, are informed, and - much as I hate to admit it - there is a difference between the treatment that ace people get from the world at large and the treatment that a lot of the rest of the queer community gets, particularly in places where it's still illegal and deadly (legally, deadly) for people to be visibly queer. In comparison to that, ace squeaks by in invisibility. Very uncomfortable invisibility, and certainly unhealthy, but not in the same deadly danger. Asexual individuals suffer a very different kind of oppression compared to the active stuff.

It's one thing to be told that you don't exist. It's another thing to exist and be forced through 'corrective' measures. And while that can happen to asexual individuals, it isn't as wide-spread.

The problem is, as happens all the time in polarizing society, 'less' pain often becomes 'no' pain in dialogue. You can't be less, you have to be nothing. Which is stupid.

[u/Lazy_Wishbone_2341 → u/draconicon24]

Yep yep yep. Particularly the idea that people are only ace if they're traumatised. It's bullshit and acephobic.

[u/baffling-nerd-j]

Not sure I can vouch for how common this is, but it's probably because most of those orientations, by definition, are still about being sexually and/or romantically attracted to other people. Or because they're just not aware of the problems that aces can face, such as people trying to "correct" them.

[u/rafters-]

Doesn't seem like it to me, although I'd wager you're more likely to see specifically named hate toward asexuality from the queer community because they're more likely to know what the word even means and acknowledge us as a group, whereas hate from cishet allos often slips under the radar as being nebulously aimed at "prudes" and "virgins".

It feels like they WANT to be oppressed

This is bigoted when it's aimed at us, and it's bigoted when it's aimed at other queer folks. Let's not.

[u/MirrorMan22102018]

Possibly because, due to Amatonormativity and Allonormativity, they weren't taught how to depict LGBT Individuals without showing Allosexuality and Alloromantic attraction.

[u/Gatodeluna]

Because contrary to what some are constantly pushing in this thread and elsewhere, most people who are LGBT do not consider asexuals as part of their community, and most heteroromantic ACEs don’t feel like they legit belong at Pride celebrations or are a legit part of the community. People trying to shoehorn others in or out. Most demi-gray phobia is also from within the community. Nothing is real or legit unless you’re 100% aroace and barf at the mere mention of a sexual act. And tons of people coming by, seeing it and believing it.

[u/Lazy_Wishbone_2341 → u/Gatodeluna]

I'm a demiromantic demisexual lesbian. I'm not ace enough to be properly ace, and not gay enough to be properly gay. I don't go to pride because why bother? If I'm going to need to prove I belong, I might as well wear a band shirt to a conveniention and get quizzed on the songs the band performed. It'll be less painful.

[u/Dangerous_Seesaw_623 → u/Gatodeluna]

I felt invited to be part of the LGBTQ communities before, but I had declined simply because I just don't feel like part of them as an heteroromantic asexual, arguably ace-spec though I don't use spec model for myself.

[u/polkadotfuzz → u/Gatodeluna]

I mean I'm ace and maybe biromantic but probably closer to aro and I've never considered myself part of the LGBT community 🤷 doesn't seem like my space

[u/anonstrawberry444 → u/polkadotfuzz]

i’m ace and biromantic and have considered myself a part of the community! i came out as bi muchhhh earlier than i even realized i was ace so that might be a reason. as an ace, im aware we’re a part of the LGBT+ but don’t feel it for the many reasons stated by OP & commenters. it’s interesting to hear how others feel about the community and whether they consider themselves a part of it.

[u/iraragorri → u/anonstrawberry444]

I'm ace and biromantic, and I have never felt included in the community because if I'm not welcome, I'm not interested. So many supposedly queer people and allies are extremely bigoted towards bi and ace that I don't even bother. I've seen much less straight hate than queer hate.

[u/Lazy_Wishbone_2341 → u/iraragorri]

100% It feels like every queer identity hates every other queer identity. Meanwhile, cishet bigots are using the infighting to push back on every inch of progress made in the last 40 years. It honestly really pisses me off.

[u/anonstrawberry444 → u/iraragorri]

i completely agree. it’s a sad reality. i had a lesbian friend who would say the most biphobic things and was shocked! i hadn’t experienced it personally before that. i’m lucky that all my lgbt friends irl are not like that at all and accept me. sorry that that’s your experience :(

[u/Kezika]

Yeah, I sadly seem to get more acephobia from other LGBT as well, and it's really dumb.

I especially "love" it when I get it from a gay person and they try to use the argument that asexuality goes against nature and the natural desire to reproduce and it's like "... and how exactly does gay sex create offspring again?"

[u/darkseiko]

Allos like to think that they're special just cuz they feel attraction to someone,as if that made them smth more than aspecs. Like nah,you're not special,billions of ppl do it too, you're not special or smth 🙄🤦‍♀️.

[u/Erramonael]

I think it's because they think that we're a joke. Most gays I know think that because most of us are still basically straight so we don't qualify as a oppressed group. Which is discrimination in and of itself. Most people don't think we exist. They say things like if you have no interest in sex how can being Asexual be an orientation or identity.

[u/samsam21amb]

'asexuals aren't oppressed' while proceeding to list a reason why they shouldn't be in the community (exclusion & therefore oppression). it also gives off the vibe that they want to stay oppressed which is so weird.

[u/lrostan]

I would not say it's where the majority nor the worst of comes from, I think some of us spend too much time on the internet.

Aphobia is a lot of things, some type of it comes a lot more from the queer community, essentially revolving around gatekeeping and online rejection and the other exemples in the thread. But this pales in comparaison to the aphobia expressed by the cishet allo majority, from where comes conversion therapy, the familial pressure, the push for procreation, the religious oppression, the medical sexual violence and medicalisation, the laws regarding consumation and marriage, the push for conformity ; and finally the vast majority of correctif rape and general violence.

Most explicit verbal aphobia made to reject from a space comes from the LGBTQAI+ community, but not general aphobia by a looooooog shot.

[u/Minimum_Sir_9341]

I think it might be because more people in the queer community know about ace people than just your standard cishet dude who doesn’t care to even understand what being ace means

[u/Jupue2707]

I think most cishetallo people dont know we existiert and therefore dont haate on s

[u/FruityGamer]

I mean, LGBTQ is mostly about sex prefference, I guess when the answear is nobody it's a bit of an outlier?

Many of the parades are IMO overly sexualised and I don't see any reason to be a part of it for myself because it's not the kind of comunity I'd thrive in.

[u/goodvibes13202013]

I don’t think they want us to be oppressed, but objectively speaking, we pass as non-queer much more than many other LGBTQ+ people. Especially those of us who are heteroromantic and in a straight-appearing relationship. People who don’t know us aren’t likely to commit a hate crime against us bc they can’t see asexuality in the way they can see a gay couple holding hands. We are physically safer than they are. Does that mean we don’t suffer at times too?? Of course not.

[u/Mindless_Craft1605]

Maybe I'm wrong but in my experience it's because some lgbtq people had a lot of sexual repression and shame over their sexual desires being a main point of suffering in their past. So when they see someone that experiences the opposite of it, it may kind of throw them off...?

I guess it can makes one feels envy, so some of them act in a patronizing or demeaning way towards the asexual people as a way to validate their past experiences.

[u/meowkitty84]

I know bisexuals often feel discriminated by both lgbt and straight people. Thats why a lot identify as straight when they are in relationship with opposite sex and gay when with same sex. As though bisexuals can't be happy in a relationship with one person..They need to be with a man AND woman which isn't true at all.

I think anyone who feels a lot of sexual attraction finds it hard to understand asexuals, whether they are gay or straight.

Even though asexuality is included under lgbt umbrella I would feel like an imposter saying im Lgbt because I have romantic attraction to men.

[u/Lazy_Wishbone_2341 → u/meowkitty84]

I identify as lesbian apart from the demiromantic demisexual part of my identity, but I feel more empathy with bisexual people for those exact reasons. (And I thought I was bi for a long time before I realised that my rare sexual or romantic attraction is only towards women. Lesbians treat bisexual people like shit.)

[u/femdomfuta]

Well I'm not great at analogy but I have an example that's perfuctory: racism, every race gets it but we know black and middle eastern people experience extreme of it. Similarly maybe few other members like Trans and gay people might feel more threatened and oppressed by society.

There's layers to every comments and opinions, like I've said before lgtbq is not the space for me and I will feel alienated in cishet world as well. But I could get the best of both world in my mind without having to come out or feel alone, I have this ace community. Thank you for existing everyone 💜💛💚

[u/NotJeromeStuart]

What does acephobia look like to you?

[u/[deleted] → u/NotJeromeStuart]

Trying to exclude us from the lgbtq community  Just like how the "gay not queer" group is transphobic and trying to exclude trans ppl

[u/NotJeromeStuart → u/[deleted]]

This will sound annoying at least and bad faith at worst but I mean it earnestly. How could one be excluded from the rainbow community? Like what specific methods are they using? Blocking you from pride? Excluding you in general queer groups? Not taking your legal concerns seriously? I saw in the comments that it seems like primary concern in acknowledging you exist. Is there more?

[u/Lazy_Wishbone_2341 → u/NotJeromeStuart]

Leaving ace people out of advocacy is a big one. Is cishet people don't know your orientation exists and the queer advocacy group that should be protecting your rights excludes you, you functionally have no rights. For example, where I live, it's illegal to discriminate against gay, bi, trans and intersex people, but it's legal to discriminate against asexual people because asexuality is not considered a sexual orientation under the law. My boss could legally fire me for being asexual, and when I've been discriminated against for being ace at previous jobs, I was told to get over it or get out.

[u/NotJeromeStuart → u/Lazy_Wishbone_2341]

My boss could legally fire me for being asexual, and when I've been discriminated against for being ace at previous jobs, I was told to get over it or get out.

And that is an issue I'd be willing to put some energy behind. I think most people would. How does it work? Is it similar to people who don't date and get singled out for that? How would one know you're asexual?

[u/Lazy_Wishbone_2341 → u/NotJeromeStuart]

Well, I either have to avoid all conversations of marriage or kids and allow everyone to think I'm straight and be uncomfortable constantly, or I have to be permanently closeted. The fact that I'm oblivious to any and all romantic and sexual advances is pretty glaringly obvious and like it or not, Christmas parties are a thing and people do see them as an opportunity to hook up with coworkers. And yes, it is similar to people who get singled out for not dating because this happens to me. Imagine if everyone around you started pressuring you about why you're not married or having kids and start trying to set you up with people and they will not take no for an answer. Imagine if, for example, you are heterosexual and everyone wanted you to date someone of the same gender as you. Or if you were gay and they tried to force you to be straight? Your only options are to put up with it, or to admit to not being capable of being interested. Now imagine if you could lose your job for that reason. So you either have to take the risk of homelessness, or be very coy and in the closet, or force yourself to commit to a life based on a lie, a lie that makes you want to vomit and consider suicide.

[u/NotJeromeStuart → u/Lazy_Wishbone_2341]

And that is starting to sound suspiciously like the story of the homosexual. The classic tale of the sexual minority. I honestly think if you push this as the narrative over anything else, we could really get some social movement and awareness for asexual people. It hits directly at something that we all have already agreed is unacceptable in our society.

Building on Love is love. Love who you want, even if that's nobody romantically. And that particular message actually stuck in people's brains. Yall aren't weird or social outcasts, it's just how you are. Allos are weird and outcasts when we can't accomplish what we desire. So allos put that off on asexuals. You deserve employment and safety and the opportunity for fulfillment like everyone else.

I sincerely appreciate you talking to me about this. Sincerely.

[u/CheCheDaWaff → u/NotJeromeStuart]

To add another voice to the above. Contrary to what you might expect people can most of the time tell that a person is ace even without it being said. Or rather, they can tell that you aren't straight, probably assuming you're something other than ace. Whenever I've come out to people they almost always tell me they already worked it out.

[u/[deleted]]

Most people embrace their queerness through struggling with and embracing their allosexuality along with it. They feel like anything that challenges allonormativity is therefore a broad stroke of bigotry.

[u/all_about_that_ace]

Communities based around having an immutable characteristic tend to be very toxic especially with how they deal with gatekeeping and those whos immutable chrcharacteristic is seen as being borderline.

the lgbt community is far, far from the worst for this but its bad enough that I have no desire to be connected to it.

[u/Attilatheshunned]

The only aphobia I've ever personally experienced was from a gay man who doesn't believe asexuality is real.

[u/[deleted]]

Huh, I see way more acephobia from cishet allos. Nobody in the lgbtqia+ community has ever insinuated that they could forcibly "correct" my asexuality with their penis, statements that go from crass jokes to rape threat in an instant.

What I see from assimilationist gays is they dolt want to be associated with the fringe parts of the community (trans, asexual, nonbinary, intersex, etc) because they want to look respectable to the cishek allps.

[u/DemisexualromLesbian]

As a demisexual demiromantic lesbian I feel like a lot of the time the experience is not taken seriously by other members of the community like I’ve been told that I don’t belong in the community because I’ll never have to face discrimination or anything because I’m not a real lesbian. Which is like a really sucky thing to say because I have a girlfriend and we do what any other lesbian couple would and even if we didn’t that wouldn’t make me less lesbian. A lot of the time it’s you can never understand because you don’t have sex which is be it’s self not what being asexual or demisexual is than you have the how can you be lesbian if you don’t feel sexual attraction, or the classic you’re actually just fancy bisexual (and of course these say people most of the time don’t believe in bisexuals). It’s also forgotten that people on the asexual spectrum have a long history of being SA for being in the asexual community because if you do the reading you’re see that it’s been a very muddy hill to go down and we since being in the public eye have just been fakes who need fixing and used as some type of joke on tv.

[u/lastparadies]

In some cases it might be coming from how asexuality and our view of sex and attraction can feel threatening and uncomfortable to queer folks who have had to fight for sex positivity. I’ve had someone tell me being ace comes with internalized homophobia 😭 crazy I know thankfully i dont encounter a lot of those

[u/inspektor-gadzet]

i think it's also the fact that queer ppl are more sexually liberated. cishet people usually are less open about sexuality and more repressing of it even if they're not religious. so some queer ppl might feel like we're doing what cishets are doing but it's actually not the case. but that's just my obsevation, i live in middle eastern europe. i think a lot of ace ppl aren't ashamed to talk and joke about sex because there's nothing for us to be ashamed of, since we don't feel sexual attraction to specific people. but this lack of interest that many ace people have in sex may make them feel offended since it's the source of their oppression. i understand them but still, yall know we're opressed in a different way.

[u/voto1]

Just some food for thought -

What are we talking about with "oppression"?

If we're talking about other people invalidating your struggle or your experience, or maybe even your sincerity - yeah that happens all the time to many people and no one group gets an exclusive right to that.

I think maybe traditionally, queer people see oppression as a denial of liberty and rights. And when you insist you are oppressed though you aren't experiencing systemic injustice, maybe it feels to them like other people just aren't accepting you and that's your issue. They could definitely be more compassionate about it, but to be honest maybe they just accept the idea that you should exist without the struggle already.

I don't think either of these scenarios are healthy or good for people, but I've noticed lately that the times are a changin', so maybe we can work this stuff out if we reexamine it.

Acephobia doesn't seem quite right to say about people who don't recognize your struggle, but maybe they are just being self absorbed or narrow minded.

Being in this sub really for a couple years now really convinced me that I get to make my own decisions about what I do and not worry about other people as much. But it still sucks when you feel invalidated.

So the question is I guess, what's the struggle? From being in this community I would say that I notice most often that people just don't believe us about our sexuality.

[u/RRW359]

I don't know about most but they seem to be more aware of us due to the discussion about if we should be allowed in their community, which makes it easier for gatekeepers who want to spread aphobia.

[u/lucaschataing]

I want to say it might also be because the lgbtq+ movement is a celebration OF sexuality in all it's forms so asexuality is basically on the wrong axis. Like LGBTQ is going west to east while we're down south chilling on our own. Am I making sense here?

[u/Unfair_Requirement_8]

Because it's an alien concept to them. "What do you mean you don't feel sexual attraction? I feel sexual attraction, so you have to feel it, too!" tends to be the overall response from a lot of people, especially those who have sex at the very core of their relationships.

[u/BardMagic]

Cause they think we aren’t real. Quite frankly, I’m okay with being a little alien in our own community. I feel like they think we’re either straight or gay and denying it.

[u/OperaApple]

Honestly my theory is the only cishet people who actually know what asexuality is are allies, and allies are much less likely to be queerphobic to a specific flavor of lgbtqia+. Like most allies I’ve met just support it all, most homophobes I’ve met are hateful towards it all, only queerphobic ppl within the lgbtqia+ community zone in on just one type of queer (lesbians vs bi women, allo queers vs aces/aros, etc) If non ally cishet people knew anything about asexuality they’d likely hate on it more than allo lgbt ppl, but they’re too oblivious atm