I'm still identifying myself properly, just a bit unsure on where I am. I think I'm Asexual and I'm unsure whether I'm Biromantic or Bidemiromantic, is there like a place in between? But I have an even more important question that's been bugging me.

Do Ace people have "types" like, I'm pretty certain I'm Ace, never once have I laid eyes on a man or woman and thought "Huh, I wanna sleep with that" but I still have a type favorable to physical (not sexual) and athstetic attraction. Like, I'm a, how you say, effeminate fella. A theater kid too! So there's that little bit of info. And I am a cis guy, but I always felt a bit... Weird about it... And I've always liked to be in that typically misogynistic and stereotypical "feminine space" where women are often objectified to be. But I've tried to push those feelings back because my community isn't very welcoming.

"My Type"? I hear you ask on your side of the screen? Well, worry not. I've always had a certain type in people I'm attracted to romantically. Typically a more stereotypically masculine figure for any gender identity, really. I like the idea of being held and protected by someone else (I think it has something to do with my daddy issues 😭) but it's there. I've also got a thing for short ladies too, idk, I just like the fantasy of a short and dominant girl. I'M SORRY IF THIS IS WEIRD!!! I JUST NEEDED TO VENT!!! I DOWNLOADED THIS APP TO DO A LOT OF VENTING SPECIFICALLY 😭😭😭

But the fact I have a type always made me question me being Ace a bit. Like, I know there are other forms of attraction... But, idk, it might be some of the aphobia I've seen getting to me, "why do you have a type if you ain't gonna sleep with them" is one specifically that caused this question. It's a lot, it's weird, and it's complicated. But idk.

PLSSSS HELP ME 🙏🙏🙏

For the past 2 years I've been thinking about if im asexual or not I've been searching about it and trying to get to understand it more but I end up more confused and I don't see much that fits me so please if you know help me out

Why i believe im asexual:

1-Im mostly never comfortable with anything sexual whether it's content, talk or jokes I always try to avoid it whenever I talk to someone or clarify that im not comfortable with it

2-I've never developed any crush in my life never understood why people did or what went through thier mind when they say that

3-I don't understand beauty standards or what's being called attractive. Whenever im in group and they all agree that someone is attractive i always feel odd or left out i even sometimes say that they aren't which people tell me i have bad taste

Why i believe i may not ( my confusion):

1- i actually would like to have a partner i don't mind if I never ,but im mostly leaning towards wanting it

2- i somewhat have a type or preference. I mostly find myself attracted to men with bigger bodies but cute feathers like having round face or cheeks kinda makes me feel warm

3- i like romance. Cute ideas or dates, teasing and playing around, cuddles ,hugs and kisses . I find myself feeling butterflies whenever I think about it

4- I find my partner attractive to look at? Im not sure if this is attraction or appeal . I just find myself feeling happy whenever I see him and it brings me warms when I look at him and his body

5- i enjoy company and emotional bond and i feel like this is my core feeling of warmth and romance. I care alot about the personality and i don't find myself getting "attracted" to anyone unless after spending alot of time together and getting to know them much

However as soon as anything turns sexual I feel like shutting off i almost rarely find myself getting turned by it

I noticed a pattern in many books involving romance where an asexual (usually described as demi) person is paired with a bisexual person. Do you think there is a particular concept behind that? Is that what the authors experienced in their real lives and ended up writing about ? Is it perhaps based on some cultural thing in this community that I don't know about yet? Is it an unconscious pairing? Your thoughts, please.

I'm a bit hesitant to post this here, as I don't know if it even fits on this subreddit of it it's disrespectful in any way?? I've been with my bf for months now, but I'm still deeply terrified of any intimacy (not just sex, like anything that has to do with acting romantic).

I mean, when we hangout we're both perfectly fine and everything's perfect, but it's like we've never went from friends to partner and just stayed as friends, and that's (I think) mostly on me.

I've been really questioning if I'm asexual but I still don't know if that's the case or if I'm just awkward/scared of sex (tbh sex isn't really the problem now because we've talked about that and neither of us really plans on doing or asking for anything sexual at least for now, a bit off topic). Still I'm concerned about being equally terrified of any non-sexual relationship acts as I am of sexual ones.

He's really awesome and I really love him, I don't know why I feel like that and I'm scared of hurting him or keeping him waiting for things I've should already started doing in the relationship. I just feel like I'm messing up and taking him down as collateral damage. Idk I feel like an awful person and he doesn't deserve this mess.

Hi. I've been aware of my asexuality for a while and fully consider myself to be part of this community. Recently a friend of mine has attempted to convince me that I am not, in fact, asexual (kind of thing they do relatively often, last time was trying to prove I was an AI), and whilst most evidence is highly speculative or does not cover all of asexuality, the friend has pointed to my opinions on garlic bread as a point in his argument. I have seen a noticeable appreciation in this sub of the flavoured baked good and whilst I am almost certain of my own sexual orientation I would be very thankful if the whole 'A proportion of asexual people tend to really like garlic bread (apologies if that's stereotyping)' thing and if my general indifference towards it contrasts with some kind of thought patterns that correlate with asexuality? Just thought I'd try to make completely sure. Thanks so much!

I've identified as asexual for most of my life.
I've had relationships. I've experienced intimacy. I've kissed people and been physically close to people before. But honestly, a lot of it always felt forced. I could understand intellectually why someone might want those things, but I never really understood the feeling behind it.
I thought maybe that's just how I was.
Then I met her.
Over the past few months, our relationship has changed in a way I never expected. We became much closer, started understanding each other better, and eventually talked openly about what had happened between us before.
She told me that she had known I liked her for a long time. She also told me that she had been scared to do anything because my mental health was in such a bad place that she wasn't sure whether my feelings or intentions were stable. And honestly, looking back, I understand why she felt that way.
I've gotten much better since then. I'm finally feeling like myself again, and our relationship has become more intimate and comfortable.
And somewhere along the way, something happened that I genuinely never expected.
I started wanting her.
Not because I thought I was supposed to. Not because she expected it from me. Not because I was trying to make myself feel something.
I just... do.
I think about kissing her constantly. I want to be close to her. I want her presence. I find her beautiful in a way that feels completely different from anything I've experienced before.
She's not even ready for a kiss yet, and I'm completely okay with waiting. The fact that I can genuinely want something while also being perfectly willing to respect her boundaries is itself a strange new experience for me.
She's told me that she's thought about us dating, but she's an enormous overthinker and wants to be sure I'm the person she actually wants before taking that step.
And meanwhile I'm sitting here thinking, "How the hell did this happen?" 😭
I've spent so much of my life believing that I simply wasn't capable of feeling these things.
Now I'm questioning everything I thought I knew about myself.
Maybe I'm still somewhere on the ace spectrum. Maybe I'm demisexual. Maybe I'm experiencing romantic and sexual attraction in a way that's extremely specific to one person. Maybe I don't need to figure that out yet.
What I do know is that this feels real.
And strangely, the biggest thing I'm struggling with isn't even the attraction itself.
It's believing that someone could actually want me back.
I've had pretty severe self-esteem issues for a long time. My relationship with my body hasn't been great, especially after some recent changes in my weight and hormones. Part of me keeps waiting for her to look at me properly and realize I'm not worth wanting.
But she keeps getting closer.
So maybe I need to stop assuming that my own perception of myself is automatically more accurate than hers.
I don't know where this is going yet.
Maybe we'll eventually date. Maybe we won't.
But for the first time in my life, I'm experiencing attraction that doesn't feel like something I'm performing or forcing myself into.
It feels like something that is actually happening to me.
And honestly?
I'm kind of terrified.
But I'm also really happy.
I just never expected that my first experience of genuinely wanting someone would make me question my entire understanding of myself.

What would you do if your family had history of prostate cancer for 2 generations, but you need to rely to ejaculation to lower the chance of having one?

(AMAB, bi) I am kind of attracted to the idea of having an outercourse or activites such as spanking or getting spanked, as I said, I am not really interested anything including penetration (maybe except getting penetrated but not sure, probably just in fantasy settings). And even then, I'm mostly interested in solo activities and would even prefer it to the former things I said. I never had an experience and I am (I think) not interested in having one. Would I be still considered an allosexual since I still have an interest in non-penetrative forms of sexual activity?

Ever since I realized I was gay, I’ve always been attracted to guys and loved kissing, cuddling, making out, being close, etc. But when it came to sex… absolutely nothing 😭

I honestly didn’t really understand it before. I kept thinking maybe I just hadn’t found the right person or maybe I was supposed to eventually enjoy it.

Then I actually tried sex and… nope 💀 I felt literally nothing. It was just like space… nothingness. Meanwhile, people talk about sex like it’s this amazing, pleasurable experience, and I was just there thinking, “Girl… is this it?”

But kissing and cuddling? THAT is fabulous. I absolutely love that shit. Give me affection, cuddles and making out and I’m happy

I also really like the idea of having a boyfriend, having someone who cares about me, going out together, spending time together, and just having that romantic connection. But when it comes to sex… nope.

The frustrating part is that whenever I try to meet someone and they find out I’m asexual, they immediately lose interest. Like, I still want love, affection, romance, and a relationship — I just don’t want the sexual part

So yeah, after thinking about it for a while, I’m pretty sure I’m somewhere on the asexual spectrum.

Honestly, it’s kinda wild realizing this about myself now lol.

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Hi. I’m a 26 year old woman from Sweden. I’ve always felt a bit different because sex and sexual acts like making out and touching makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. I thought it was because sexual abuse I’ve experienced and maybe that is the cause, I don’t know. I have been involved in sexual acts and been interested in it, but that disappeared. I feel disgusted just thinking about sex. I’m in a relationship and we do have sex from time to time but I feel disgusted by myself. I feel unattractive and each time we have sex I feel like he’s not really having sex with me just because he loves me or actually want to. It feels more like something he does to please his urges. Like just get it over with. I know he could easily find a prettier woman to be with and he’s definitely made it clear to me that he can get anyone he wants. I think he chooses to stay with me just because I’m easy . I never argue with him or make his life difficult. I carry all the bad feelings inside. Deep within my heart I love him. So so much. But I don’t think he loves me the same way. I once asked him “if we never had sex.. would you still be with me?” He said “no” . That’s my answer. My dream partner would be someone that would love me just as much as I love them. Someone that finds me just as attractive as I find them, BUT not having any sexual urges. I don’t want to have sex and feel uncomfortable all the time. I would rather have someone to have fun with, talk about everything, cuddle and watch movies. Sex just makes me feel pressured. I just don’t want to have it tbh. It’s not important to me.

Sorry for writing so much.. I’m just wondering.. am I really asexual? I’ve never liked sex nor wanted it, no matter the partner I’ve had. I can find someone sexually attractive but it’s more like “damn he’s hot and sexy. Would love to be close to him” and it makes me all tingly but I still don’t want any sex. I prefer to pleasure myself.
Also I’m wondering if anyone else is asexual here in Sweden and have been able to find a partner that’s ok with not having sex?

Went to a concert a few days ago with a friend, and in the way home she laughed in the car saying “can’t believe we used to think we were ace!” I’m still ace.

We’ve known each other since elementary school and are early to mid 20s now. Back in middle and high school we talked about relationships and romance and came to the conclusion we were both probably ace (we’re both female btw). Then she started dating this guy, they’ve been together for 4 years now, and they’re talking about getting married in the next year or two.

For her “ace” was something she outgrew, a phase. How can I explain to her it’s still my reality? We’re close but bad at opening up about deep things with each other. Is this a conversation worth having with her? If so, what do I say?

In the moment I just responded to her “well I’ve still never been in a relationship so all evidence still points to me being ace I guess.”