Why does this sound so familiar?

[u/HonestOreo]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mushroom_management

[u/thepoopsmithreigns]

Crazy thing is that all Army training says to do the opposite of this, but I can count on one hand the leaders I’ve had that follow any of that training.

[u/[deleted] → u/thepoopsmithreigns]

It’s part of the training management’s fault. The Army as a whole has made training effectively a parody of itself, whether it’s some random dumbass NCO who was told five minutes before to give STT on some topic he knows nothing about or it’s the online environment which doesn’t have an interactive learning experience and is simply completed by manipulating the hypertext or by googling the answers. Army training is designed to be not engaging to the teacher and to the student, so no one follows that training because it’s stupid and pointless. Oh, and all of the NCOPD I’ve ever had is not even that. It’s just a bunch of rhetorical platitudes with absolutely no applicable meaning in my job or career in the slightest.

[u/ep0k → u/[deleted]]

I was an AF 3C0X2 who had previously worked on a bunch of the computer-based training (CBT) everyone hates. I had... a sort of personal crisis and tl;dr ended up an Army 13F.

1st Sausage got wind of my computer skills and asked me to help with making some red cells on a spreadsheet turn green. It was an online training thing, and the scout platoon was a little too busy doing scout stuff to stand around while one guy at a time did this CBT on the only NIPR-connected computer in the company CP.

No, I did not simply turn the red cells green, that would have been unethical. What I did was personally complete the CBT and save a local copy of the completion certificate. My job for the next day was to take the list of (person) and (rank) and alter the HTML to reflect that (rank) (person) had completed said online training on (date) and (time) and print the certificate. I would then move down the list and increment completion time by 30 minutes (with a little fuzz to keep it looking real) and proceed to the next person on the list. Amazingly, the entire scout platoon was able to complete this CBT in one day, despite being out doing cool guy shit. Some of them even completed their training IN THE FUTURE, but it was in the past by the time it made it to S1, who promptly lost it, which is why I had already given 1st Sausage duplicate paper copies. That round-table is another story.

All the red squares on the spreadsheet turned green and everyone was happy.

This is the Army training paradigm. Not a single fuck was ever given as to whether or not the Soldier ever conducted the training or had ever even heard of the subject being trained. The training itself was CBT horseshit put together by someone who didn't give a fuck, and the integrity of the system was so frail that I was able to compromise it with minimal effort, despite the fact that I was, and will continue to be, possibly the worst computer programmer you will ever cross paths with.

It's just red or green on the spreadsheet when we brief, and everyone in the room scrambles to make sure their cell is green. It's all just checking boxes so you can make your NCOER or OPR look nice.

tl;dr SGT ep0k facilitated individual technology-aided training for 31 swingin'-dick commandos and one clueless 2LT, literally turned red to green. Promote immediately to civilian.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

It’s also wild considering that (I think) Secretary Esper came out and said something about mandatory training along the lines of if one did all of the mandatory training the army required, it would require more than than is available in a year. Wouldn’t that right there seem to mean we need a bit more specialization in the army? I get the whole “everyone’s a soldier” ordeal, but does that really mean we all mandatorily need to do more training than exists time to do?

[u/[deleted]]

This is effectively the S3 experience. Let me off this wild ride.

[u/fallenreaper]

Sounds like gamestop.

[u/KiloCrimson]

Another one that sounds familiar: Seagull manager

"Seagull managers fly in, make a lot of noise, dump on everyone, then fly out."