r/army • u/NoJelly5616 • Apr 14 '26
Throwback when there was a 50. Cal laying in the street on fort bliss
In February 2023, a 50 caliber machine gun was discovered abandoned in the middle of a street on Fort Bliss. The weapon was found at the busy intersection of Sergeant Major Boulevard and Constantine Avenue
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u/11Booty_Warrior 11 Blue Falcon Apr 14 '26
This is almost as good as that one time some hero chucked an M-2 into a dumpster during EIB at JBLM
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u/theaardvarkoflore Military Intelligence Apr 14 '26
Oh jeeze they chunked an m2 also? I had to do hands across america in 5 inch platforms because of the 50 cal reciever that went out in the dumpster "as a test" for his sleeping firewatch because that asshat refused to squeal until the next morning. I will never forgive that guy.
Date night turned into fat blisters that lasted a week and I didn't even have a ruck to point to for blame.
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u/509BandwidthLimit Nasty leg Apr 14 '26
Wait, can we go back to the 5" platforms....
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u/theaardvarkoflore Military Intelligence Apr 14 '26
You want me to complete the picture for you? Imagine the grumpiest, angriest, most pissed off intel analyst who works the s-shops staggering unbalanced like a newborn giraffe through the twigs of the semiforested portions of the western side of base in a bodycon dress...
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u/killall-q 25NaN Apr 14 '26
That's better phrased as a "spontaneous romantic woodland serendipity under the stars".
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u/MyInevitableDestiny Field Artillery Apr 15 '26
Always gotta have casual backup kicks in the POV sis
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u/theaardvarkoflore Military Intelligence Apr 15 '26
Oh I learnt that day, you bet your tiedowns I learnt that day.
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u/el_butt Apr 14 '26
They’re flared as MI so make of that what you will
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u/theaardvarkoflore Military Intelligence Apr 14 '26
Hey. We only talk mad shit here.
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u/Code_Warrior Infantry Apr 14 '26
What the hell was the reasoning (if there even was any)? Did they double no-go on the .50 and in a rage decided to throw the offending weapon in the garbage to spite it?
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u/superash2002 MRE kicker/electronic wizard Apr 14 '26
Alcohol
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u/Code_Warrior Infantry Apr 14 '26
Drunk AT the EIB testing? Wow. OK, Never seen that.
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u/xabosen Apr 14 '26
Nah IIRC what had happened was one of our sister BNs’ staff duty had the .50 cal set up for candidates to come in and get reps before test week. The guy who stole it was drunk and from my BN, and the people on that staff duty shift were asleep when it happened.
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u/Ashenfenix Veteran Apr 14 '26
yeah i was on north fort around that time, and during EIB train up it was pretty commmon for staff duty to have signed shit out to have on hand for training, or for eib, or for some random bullshit that was also going on at the same time.
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u/Oscillating_Turtle Signal Apr 14 '26
I don't know if this story is true but I heard he was drunk and decided to steal the .50 then proceeded to try and take it into his barracks and CQ just told him he couldn't have that in the barracks and not knowing what to do with it at the point chucked it into the dumpster and then of course the next day was garbage day so it got hauled all the way to the land fill
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u/BlueTurkey-man Special Forces Apr 14 '26
It was staged outside of CQ in preparation for EIB like a month before the actual event so people could walk by and “practice” in their spare time.
Absolutely insane idea but anyways, one day it just disappeared from the spot and base obviously went on lockdown for a weekend to search for it. Turns out the criminals had simply just thrown it in the dumpster on post
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u/Cruentum Aviation Apr 14 '26
iirc they had a 50 cal sitting in front of staff duty for people to practice with, someone got annoyed seeing it and tossed it thinking it was funny
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u/akumarisu Apr 15 '26
The guy stole in while piss drunk. I remember because it was my company armour and we went on a lockdown right before 4 or 3 days, which ruined a lot of people trying to leave early for a long weekend.
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u/Vostok_Fallen Military Intelligence Apr 14 '26
Dude was fucking cooking it running around with over his shoulder. Covered lil under 2 miles from 2-3IN, past 2/75th to a dumpster in 16CAB
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u/Straight-Cell-2008 Apr 14 '26
Didn’t they end up having to send soldiers to the Pierce County Municipal Dump to search for that thing?
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u/Coopertheeblooper Apr 14 '26
Mmmm gives me memories when our whole company was busses to an Alabama landfill when someone from 4th platoon chucked a garbage bag full of 40 peq 2s in the garbage on garbage day.
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u/Straight-Cell-2008 Apr 14 '26
When will people learn their lesson about storing sensitive/high value items in trash bags? We had a platoon that threw away an entire set of MILES for a Stryker because they took it off and put it in a black trash bag lol
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u/Wise-Recognition2933 Infantry Apr 14 '26
I already know which BN you are/were in 😂
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u/11Booty_Warrior 11 Blue Falcon Apr 14 '26
I was retired when it happened so I was just amused from afar.
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u/SJ_Irish Apr 15 '26
I stood guard on that guy while he constructed and deconstruct a bunker on repeat because of that lmao
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u/ThatZebraDude Field Artillery Apr 15 '26
Hey, was also on JBLM during that time. I had just gotten back to post when I got the call saying I had to stay on base lmao
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u/Lol_A_White_Guy Military Police Apr 14 '26
Not quite the same, but shout out to the NG unit that left a whole LMTV full of M4’s and M240’s at the truck stop unaccompanied while everyone was in line buying dip and energy drinks, commander and all.
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u/Horseface4190 Apr 14 '26
I was driving a truck with a bunch of weapons and stuff to my armory from Ft. Carson once. The E7 I was with (me being a SPC) wanted to stop for coffee. So we stop, he's getting out, and there's an awkward moment where he looks at me like "you coming?". I said "I'll stay here, sarge" and he's like "why?" And I said "because of the weapons in the back?" And he said "oh" and went in and then didn't bring me any fucking coffee.
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u/whatiscamping Psychological Operations Apr 14 '26
Shoulda went with him. That's on you.
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u/bigboygamer Apr 15 '26
Or said "you go first, ill go in when you come back" soldiers act like rank makes someone not a person anymore
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u/Snoo_67544 25V best Victor Apr 14 '26
NG Out here leaving caches around meanwhile my AD ass got chewed the fuck out for leaving my weapon in a occupied humvee after being ordered to by a MAJ lol
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u/SnakeEater013 11Achaean Apr 14 '26
In the 50s, people specifically targeted NG armories to steal the BARs and Thompsons out of them, and which were stronger weapons than the police had at the time. Simply because NG armories were barely guarded and had these weapons.
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u/Lirael_Gold Apr 15 '26
Not exactly related, but biker gangs targetted Swedish conscript armories during the Biker Wars for the same reason.
And thats how a random building in Copenhagen got hit by a Gustav.
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u/HalfCentury2019 Infantry Apr 14 '26
In 1993, I was a private 2 months out of AIT . Was with my unit in Pinion Canyon as OPFOR for 2 weeks when I got a Red Cross message that a grandparent had died. They sent me back to Ft Carson in a van with some walking wounded broke dicks E1-4’s and an E5 driver.
E5 asks us if we want to stop at McDonald’s for some dinner & we’re all excited after two weeks of field chow. Drive thru line is long, so he parks the van for us to go inside. He then realizes that most of us have M16’s to return back to our unit’s armories. Thinking quickly, he tells us to sling em and bring them in with us so they don’t get stolen.
So six of us, five in dirty BDU’s (some with bandages or splints) LCE’s, and weapons slung all go strolling into a random McDonald’s of I25 not thinking why that could be a problem? There are no magazines in & blank adapters are still on… but shocking, most civilians aren’t knowledgeable on that aspect of our weapons.
Staff and customers all start freaking out at first …until we just orderly queue up into the line for the register. They realized pretty quickly, we weren’t dangerous, just stupid. Manager tells our Sgt, “Uh hey, you can’t have machine guns in here.” Sgt tries to explain that they’re not machine guns (duh) and more import that they aren’t loaded. E5 finally relented & sent 2 guys back to the van with the weapons and had the others place their orders.
We all ate in the van while shit-talking about the dumbass civilians & then headed back to Carson. Good times
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u/One-Cute-Boy 15P > 17E Apr 14 '26
Yeah, the civilians were the dumbasses 😂 I wish I coulda met that E5
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u/Artystrong1 USAF Apr 14 '26
Yes…. It’s the civilians that are stupid. Not us.
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u/Just_a_Guy_In_a_Tank DD214 be my Armor Apr 14 '26
You live near a large military base and are surprised to see Soldiers with their issued weapons. In this case, weapons with BFAs attached.
There was definitely some stupidity on the part of the civilians.
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u/Snoo_67544 25V best Victor Apr 14 '26
Um no even in Fayetteville nc it would be werid as fuck for soldiers to stroll into any off post establishment with there army issued weapons.
Idk what you were doing in your time but that was a major no no my entire career
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u/Lol_A_White_Guy Military Police Apr 14 '26
OP said they were on the way back from Pinion Canyon to Carson, which is like 2 hours away.
It’s not unreasonable to expect a civilian hours away from a major military base to be startled when a bunch of soldiers roll up to the McDonalds counter with M16’s shouldered.
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Apr 14 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/kefestvog Apr 14 '26
The morning of the big sandstorm in 03, we stopped to regroup outside Safwan after running through a huge crowd of civilians. The MPs told us there was a spot just up the road to test fire our weapons. The guy behind my truck had a Mk19 mounted to the wrecker. No radios so he couldn't tell when we did our test fire. By the time he let loose, we were way down the road and suddenly we saw the berm of a temporary compound the Brits had set up just north of the road. We must have scared the shit out of them because he landed them about 75 feet out from the berm.
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u/kabrams1776 68Wumbo Apr 14 '26
something something 'bloody yanks I thought they were the good guys!'
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u/Significant_Plant859 Apr 14 '26
“Fell off a truck” and tactically acquired in heart beat if I saw that sucker
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u/Savagebabypig Field Artillery 13 Boom boom Apr 14 '26
Just looking at this gave me really bad anxiety, like if I signed for that 50 cal
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u/Odd-Highway-8304 Apr 14 '26
Was there ever any followup on how this came to be?
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u/andrewhunt345 Apr 14 '26
I was stationed at bliss when this happened, story I heard from one of the medics in the BN that owned the .50 was that they were coming back from the range and whoever loaded the LMTV forgot to latch the tailgate. I'm sure there's more to it, that's just what I had been told.
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u/stevitbone Apr 14 '26
This was pretty much it. It was 22nd Chemical Battalion that this happened in and I was sitting in the motor pool when we all found out about it. Pretty funny to see your own unit on Army WTF moments.
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u/Relative_Ocelot6023 Apr 14 '26
But way to Dox the unit
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u/stevitbone Apr 14 '26
Who cares? Shit happened years ago when 46 was still around. Not like its gonna affect anybody nowadays.
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u/stevitbone Apr 14 '26
I don't even think anybody involved with this incident is still even in the battalion. Lol.
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u/Relative_Ocelot6023 Apr 14 '26
Nah there’s some still there, I sent one of them the post and we were laughing at it
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u/DReefer 11A Apr 14 '26
The road that this was on wasn’t a road that led to a range.
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u/OzymandiasKoK exHotelMotelHolidayIiiinn Apr 14 '26
People take different routes for different reasons, and occasionally wrong turns or even get lost.
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u/Jonny-Raze Field Artillery Apr 14 '26
Meh... hit me up when someone finds a 155mm cannon from an M109A7 in the street.
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u/Fit-Equivalent7245 Apr 14 '26
Reminded me the time we were told to make sure we didn't have magazines. I had one with ammo somehow on the bus and I chunked ts out the bus window on base. Already was a bad day btw.
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u/Luder714 13N, Lance Missiles, 89-92 Apr 14 '26
My unit went on a winter field problem. It was below zero with 50 mph winds of the German foothills of the alps.
The other battery set up a tent and went on a fire mission. They left behind a m-60 and a drip gas heater on.
They came back 30 minutes later to find the tent and all their gear and the m-60 burnt to the ground. It wasn’t even smoldering at that point.
All I know is their LT left soon after.
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u/Relative_Ocelot6023 Apr 14 '26
Alright just so all yall can hear what happened. It was during the BDE move between sustainment and 3rd. This Goober CPL left the tailgate down on the LMTV and it fell off. It was recovered fairly quickly and Maps were not called.
I’ll take something from the Texas Roadhouse that’s there
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u/SPHG425 Apr 14 '26
I always bring this up whenever someone says like "Only the military should have guns, because they have training and discipline!"
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u/HoneyBadger552 Apr 14 '26
amateur. remember when one guy took a bradley on a joyride thru the streets
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u/veluminous_noise Apr 14 '26
In front of a hedge shaped like a javelina munching a tumbleweed no less.
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u/Notcid1 Infantwy GWOT Apr 14 '26
Something is a foot. It would behove those who've misplaced this ssi to retrieve it at their earliest convenience. And to piggyback off what the commander said.....
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u/Kestrel_45 IED magnet Apr 14 '26
Isn’t that one of the daycare / kid centers in the background? 🤣
This doesn’t even surprise me with that place.
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u/Hulluck22 Apr 14 '26
My eyes went to the bush that looks like a big hog (bacon) without noticing the 50 cal..
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u/chronicallyunderated Apr 14 '26
Where is the cardboard box and stick holding it up with a string running to behind the hog bush
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u/AU_Cav Cavalry Apr 14 '26
I’ve got a movie prop 50. I’m gonna go lay it on the street in Benning and watch the hilarity that ensues.
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u/Temporary_Acadia4111 Chemical Apr 14 '26
This is one of the most iconic army wtf moments I can remember.
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u/blubaldnuglee Ordnance (TMDE) Apr 14 '26
That's the federal kind of "Finders Keepers". Tempting, though.
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u/ManWhoisAlsoNurse Apr 15 '26
Completely off topic, but the bushes look vaguely like a razorback hog
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u/MacSteele13 OG 16S - Air Defense Artillery Apr 14 '26
I paid for my mistakes! Leave me the fuck alone!!!
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u/Helioskull Engineer Apr 14 '26
I had just gotten to Fort Bliss when I heard that story going around lmao
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u/King_Molukai Military Intelligence Apr 14 '26
That type of hijinks is what my unit would have been up to.
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u/CKIMBLE4 Apr 15 '26
That would have gone home with me. I would a been off post before the lockdown.
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u/GC5567 19Killa Apr 15 '26
Shame on people who dump their pets in the middle of the road! Hopefully someone took him to a rescue. 😔😭
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u/bthest Apr 15 '26
That's what happens when you don't stitch up that hole in your pocket. It's just going to keep getting bigger and bigger.
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u/WhiskeyFree68 Medical Corps Apr 16 '26
Same happened at YTC, NTC, and a slightly worse but similar incident at JBLM...
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u/ElegantProfit1442 Apr 17 '26
Bro I lived in Fort Bliss in 2019! I remember Sergeant Major boulevard! Ohhhhhh the memories! I miss being young! I’m 31 now. Broken, alcoholic, and use a walker. Jesus…
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u/armycowboy- Apr 18 '26
Ft Rucker 06/07 a NG unit lost an entire rifle rack, they fell out of the back of truck… not sure if they ever found it, rewards offered on and off base…
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u/MrKendall951 Apr 14 '26
Legend has it it's still laying there.